'they know I ate the potatoes'

When Paul Allen and I first started Microsoft, I didn’t know as much about computers as I did today. Paul kept saying “Bill Gates, here is a computer chip” and I would say “Haha like a potato chip!” and would usually eat the computer chip in front of him. I think I ate about 3000 computer chips in our first year of Microsoft. It nearly put us out of business. Eventually they would just hand me a crouton and tell me it was a computer chip while they made real computer chips in secret and wouldn’t tell me. It was the solution that saved Microsoft.
—  Bill Gates on the early days of Microsoft

anonymous asked:

what are the best "phan slip ups" that you know of i'm loving it

when they watched tv shows and ate sweet potato fries together in bed last year

Healthy Living

Living a healthy lifestyle has always been a struggle for me. I either put in too much time and effort to the point where it is an obsession or I put not nearly enough effort. I have an extremely hard time finding a balance, and that is something I’ve been working on lately. 

Today I ate a decent amount. I had cereal and a small amount of potatoes for breakfast, for lunch I had a bag of chips and some vegetarian lasagna, and for dinner I had ¼ of a Ben and Jerry’s and a microwave burrito with a couple of fries. Perfect? Far from it. But you know what? Today was a good day. 

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Clean My Gutters

Scrape my rust
Spoon my eyeballs
Mash my brain
Mash potatoes
Children scream in the family room to my left
I just secretively ate a chicken quesadilla in the bathroom
I just slid out for a few minutes to smoke a cigarette
And maybe even a spliff if I finish the cigarette quickly enough
I just ran upstairs to take a few sips of whiskey before everyone else gets here
I just hid behind the shed so I could throw up without anyone knowing
I just declared war on myself for the greater good
I just smoked a joint in a private government parking garage and don’t know what to think about myself anymore
I just ate a bowl of cigarette butts to let you know I still care
Stack my shingles
Make my bed
Write my obituary
Write my thank you notes
Tell me softly,
‘It’s time to go’
A family of raccoons scavenge trash for the babies
I just needed some space and didn’t think I’d be able to talk to anyone for a while
I just needed some silence
I lost my appetite
I lost my phone
I lost my wallet
You know how the story goes
Yada Yada Yada
A fool made a fool out of himself
Don’t mind the particulars
Goodnight

Family👪🏽 at Thanksgiving🍗, and I’m wanting to eat 🍽. Other obese ass bitches💁🏽, better wait to have a seat 💺. Auntie lookin 👀 at me like, she wanna serve what’s in her pans 🍲. Come on bitch see 👀 me with them yams 🍠. There’s turkey 🍗 on my plate🍽 , potatoes on my fork 🍴. Chewing for a second, this gravy’s pretty thick😚. Granny doesn’t know it, but I’m getting full too 😬. Cuz nana 👵🏽 needs to know, before serving dessert 🍰, because what you see 👀 isn’t always the truth. Say it with me, what you see 👀 isn’t always the truth⛪. Thank you. Because Auntie Sue 👩🏽, I ate 🍴 all the same parts 🍗 as you boo. The same parts. The Same Parts 🍗. The Same Parts 🍗. Thank you 💤

While the advantages to sharing cooking duties with everyone in the house are plentiful. There are the occasional drawbacks. My West Virginian mother, who despite 20 years in New Orleans, still has no idea how to season food and also still uses the dry, tough recipes she learned “up north” (yes, I’m using that term liberally). 

And my brother that thinks the word “spicy” can only mean, so hot it burns the tastebuds off your tongue.

I miss flavor some nights.

17 jan
  • had two really good classes today! one I was expecting to enjoy, and the other I wasn’t too enthused about initially, but it actually seems like it’s going to be really good. it’s a theory class which is cool and my professor is from casewestern and seems quite smart and like super conceptual and is obsessed with kantian ethics and is really into us reading all the “formative texts” of the discipline. there’s only 9 of us in the class and I know and like everyone so I think it will be fun.
  • they just opened a little cafe across from the student lounge in our academic building and they have a smoothie station and a salad bar and everyone was losing their fucking minds over the apparently delicious sweet potato fries all day long so I am absolutely eating lunch there tomorrow. 
  • I made fettucine alfredo AND pizza for dinner tonight because I couldn’t decide and ate it while watching house
Silly Sentence Starters
  • “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?”
  • “You don’t need pants!”
  • “A mayonnaise and banana sandwich? Really?”
  • “Are you actually going to eat that?”
  • “Flipping flapjacks and flying ferrets!”
  • “There’s a fly in the orange juice!”
  • “What do you mean there isn’t any cornbread?!”
  • “It was a very unpleasant experience that involved licking a squirrel in a hole and honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
  • “What do you mean you haven’t bathed in spaghetti before? How can you even say you’ve LIVED?!”
  • “You just slapped me with a noodle!”
  • “It’s a happy noodle! It’s supposed to make you happy! It must be broken.”
  • “For this, we need to find a happy fish!”
  • “Go on, admit it, a cheese excites you, we all know!” 
  • “Can you help me? I’ve lost my potato.”
  • “My potato ran away! Quick! Help me catch it!”
  • “What do you mean it ate the air conditioner?!”
  • “The vacuum cleaner bit me!”
  • “A river a thousand paces wide is nonsensical, much like me.”
  • “I have never washed clothes.”
  • “Why didn’t you tell me the washing machine was on fire?!”
  • “Wait, why IS the washing machine on fire?”
  • “Cultured frogs? What are cultured frogs?”
  • “Wait, nevermind, I don’t think I want to know.”
Dinner

Today I made some oven baked seasoned red and yellow potatos, refried beans, rice, and milanesa. SO and Alice loved it and ate their fill, I on the other hand wasn’t feeling too hungry so I just forced myself to eat a plate. So crazy how before chums I didn’t have any clue how to cook yet here I am making dinner everyday. Goes to show you shouldn’t judge someone who doesn’t know how to cook because if they havent found need to or anyone worthy of it, then it’s their life. I love cooking and baking for my family. And I have been lucky enough to have recieved compliments on my cooking also.

Rajigaze Sep 30

Reita (reading question): “Which of the members do you think would be the best food critic? Try it with this picture I attached cause it’ll be funny.”

Uruha: What’s the picture?

Reita: It’s the long french fries and shaved strawberries that they were serving at Kishidan Banpaku.

Uruha: Oooooh~

Reita: I actually had our manager go buy the strawberries.

Uruha: Oh yeah, they did have those.

Reita: I think it was me and Aoi who ate them. The two with a sweet tooth.

Uruha: But yo, these fries are LONG.

Reita: Yeah, they’re called long cheese fries.

Uruha: Are they good?

Reita: I don’t know – can you comment on them?

Uruha: I mean, I can only comment on how they look…

Reita: (laughs) Okay, that’s fine, go ahead. 

Uruha: Yes, so, the potatoes are, uh, long.

Reita: (laughs) Yes.

Uruha: And the container, uh, the box, is so long, it barely fits in your hand.

Reita: Yes, yes, yes. Everyone, try to picture this.

Uruha: It’s huge. And the fries are like, maybe three times as long as McDonald’s fries – well, actually, McDonald’s fries are long and short, so forget that – but anyway, these fries are LONG!

(Reita hasn’t stopped laughing this whole time)


Uruha: My comment was also long!

Reita: All you said is they’re long…

Uruha: So this cheese…is it cheddar? The yellow one.

Reita: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uruha: Well…most cheese is yellow, but…

(both burst out laughing)

Uruha: It’s completely covered in cheese…yes…it’s as if…it’s joining the fries together…

(Reita dying)

Uruha: There’s a thick, generous topping of cheddar cheese.

Reita: Yes, yes.

Uruha: Yes. I bet this is good.

Reita: (laughing) That was great, you said a lot.

Uruha: Okay, what about you?



Reita: Nah, I’m good!

Uruha: DO IT!

Reita: Okay, should I do this one? The shaved strawberries.

Uruha: Yeah, I mean, you actually ate these.

Reita: So, this is basically, a clear cap – uh, a clear cup…

Uruha: Yes?



Reita: With froze, sha – Frozen, shaved –

(both burst out laughing)

Reita: Strawberries inside – ah, wow, these are very red.

(both burst out laughing again)

Reita: And there’s white cream on top ~

Uruha: You’re just describing it!

(Reita giggling)

Uruha: You dick…

Reita: Yeah, this stuff is good.

Uruha: It looks good.

Reita: Mhm, strawberries and cream are so good.

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My last semester started last Wednesday. Gahh! I only have two subjects left so I don’t really do much anymore. Here’s what I’ve been up to the past week.

1. My best friend and I ate at a newly opened restaurant near the campus. Price was pocket friendly and the food was okay enough. I ordered the sizzling sisig, while my friend ordered the sizzling pusit.

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2. The same day, we had merienda in a new (I don’t really know when it opened lol) restaurant that serves breakfast all day. We just ate potato wedges and shared a mug cake. I was not honestly satisfied with the mug cake. I’ve had better.

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3. Started watching The Legend of the Blue Sea. Got interested when I saw my mom watching it (plus Lee Min Ho is so cute).

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4. Was able to write and schedule blog posts for the months of January to February. I’ll be posting every Saturday as to give me time to edit photos and draft the posts.

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5. I finally got the bound copies of my thesis! I also just submitted an Application for Graduation form to the College Secretary. OMG.

6. Lastly, since i have six units left, I might work for my dad until graduation so I can at least earn a few bucks lol less days of classes means I get less allowance and a girl needs her money you know 😂

I do sometimes wonder if I’m actually as terrible of a cook as I say I am, or if I’ve just hammed it up because it’s funny – but then I remember some of the things I’ve actually done and I realise that yeah, I am actually that bad. 

For example:

  • I spent the first seventeen years of my life not knowing how to make mashed potatoes and just assuming they were the hardest thing in the world, a truly impossible, Sisyphean task.
  • brownies that released peculiar smelling fumes; brownies that were so dense NASA might have been interested in studying them
  • pie crust with 100:1 sugar:crust ratio
  • Although the only foods I ate at the time was various combinations of oven crap, every time I put frozen potato waffles in the oven they returned to me charred, blackened.
  • I served balsamic vinegar & soy sauce as a pasta topping.
  • I used to think an acceptable meal was one (1) main with whatever sauce was easily on hand, and nothing else.
  • Every time I made fried onions, for several months, the smoke alarm would be set off.
  • I poured instant noodles down the sink without taking the noodle out first. I am truly lucky it didn’t clog and burst the pipes.
  • Either no seasoning/what’s the point of seasoning? or AN ENTIRE SALT MINE, and no in between.
  • I once set spaghetti on fire.

… what I’m trying to say is that yes, I actually am that bad of a cook.

That I’ve made it one of my New Year’s resolutions to successfully master three (3) (!!!) complete meals – including sides – is ambitious, to put it mildly. To be less generous, my cooking a potential threat to life.

tag game n* 17 i think

  ♡   i was tagged by the very cool @glittcrway !   ♡

rules : tag 9 people you want to know better

relationship status : newly single but ready to mingle

lipstick or chapstick : black lipstick / cherry chapstick

last song i listened to : froot by Marina and The Diamonds  ♡

top 3 shows : American Horror Story , Dexter , Daria 

top 3 characters : Vanellope Van Schweetz (Wreck it Ralph) , Jane Lane (Daria) and uhm ?? Electra Heart as a persona ?

top 3 ships : Phan , because asfksögsd i believe in bromance , Peterick and Frerard .

    ♡   I tag whoever wants to do this (tag me i wanna see!) , along with my fav shits @theprinceofmemeticfilth @frictioninyourjeans @imagine-my-potato-ate-sparkles @z0mbiefrank @vcnomfrnk and @zombietwink ,, @softdip  ♡

Taggy Thingy!!!

Tagged by the wonderfully awesome @criminalmindsmad
Answering 10 questions and tagging 10 other awesome blogs!
Last movie you saw?: Piarates of the Caribbean Curse of the black Pearl
The last song you listened to?: How Will I Know- Whitney Houston (old school r&b is my jam)
Last Show you watched? Criminal Minds (honestly I watch it every day😂)
Last book you read?: Le Petit Prince. It’s from French class, but I was gonna read it on my own anyways😊
Last thing you ate?: Well on of my friends at school didn’t want the rest of their potato chips, so I guess potato chips ( which I rarely eat)
If you could be anywhere, where would you be?: Honestly Washington D.C. because what I want to do when I get older has its headquarters there.
Where would you time travel?: Past wise it would be thethe 80s, why not I love the music, fashion, plus I got the hair for it.
What would you first do with the money if you won the lottery?: I would put back some to pay for my college, pay off my parents house, buy me a car, then put rest in savings.
What fictional character would you spend a day with?: (cheating with this one because I can’t choose) Emily Prentiss, Jennifer Jareau, and Arizona Robbins.
What time is it where you live NOW? 4:22 PM
Tagging: @gayprentiss @sadsongswenblog @puddinpop11 @pagetbrwester @villainousunsub @justalonelyfangiirl @jenniferxjareau @hurricaneawelia @ameliaashepherd @dailymgg

Get to know me

I was tagged by @dragonflare18 and @kelseymango888
Answer 10 questions and tag 10 people

Last movie you saw:  Rogue One
Last song you listened to: How Far I’ll Go (Moana)
Last show you watched: lmao probably just the local news or steven universe
Last book you read: I think it was Fahrenheit 451 (it was for school)
Last thing you ate: Lays Potato Chips and chocolate frosting  (not at the same time, u heathen) 

 If you could be anywhere, where would you be: My bed because I’m really sick rn

 Where would you time travel: February so I can skip finals    

 What would you first do with money won from the lottery: Put most of it away for college, the rest to waste on cool junk   

What fictional character would you spend the day with:  Dana Scully because we could rant about the idiots in our lives

What time is it where you live NOW: 3:56 pm 

A lot of people I know were already tagged, so I’ll do some others: @keepingcrypts @diet-fiizz @musepassages @crystaldaneoftheredlion @sar-kalu @jessesloth @lordganondorfdragmire

and I probably forgot a lot of people, so anyone else who wants to can do this :)

So I just ate an entire burger and all of the sweet potato fries that came with it and I’m trying not to freak out. I wasn’t even hungry for all of it. In reality I know it wouldn’t hurt me to gain some weight, and I need to eat a lot if I’m going to be exercising and walking around campus with my bags and such, but I still feel so guilty. I hate it.