So I just remembered something: Malibu gets earthquakes. Tony lived there for years, so what if designing quake-proof shit is just a habit, and one day in New York everything starts shaking cause of some villain and everybody else is just freaking out but Tony's just chill. Cause he's used to them. Everyone else is spilling their coffee and he's just calmly sitting while shit falls off the shelves and everybody else tries to catch the stuff. (Tree)
“Why are you not reacting more to this??” Sam yells,as he falls on his ass and spills his breakfast all over himself.
Tony, who’s still half-asleep at this point, pants slung low on his hips and hair falling into his eyes as he grips his mug of coffee and watches the rest of his team go into Panic Mode over the little earthquake, just shrugs. “I earthquake-proofed myself years ago. It’s a thing. I did Malibu for years.”
Steve looks incredulously over at him. He’s the only one who’s still on his feet- even Natasha and Clint have gone down. “What does that even mean?”
Tony sighs, and then shrugs, taking one last sip of his coffee before placing it in the sink and beginning to shuffle away. “Guess I’ll have to do the suit thing. Great. I just wanted coffee. It’s less than 10am. What the fuck. I hate villains.”
And with that, he just turns and walks away. Like the whole tower isn’t shaking apart around him. Clint calls out to him in panic as a bowl slides off the top shelf and flies off in direct collision with his head, but Tony literally just grabs it in midair. Like it’s nothing. Just grabs it and puts it back.
“Morning Tony scares the fucking shit out of me, I’m not gonna lie,” Bucky breathed in awe, as they watched him trundle down the stairs, yawning as he dodged a falling tile.
“Morning Tony is like watching someone getting possessed for three hours by a generally vague and unpredictable demon,” Natasha agreed.
“Morning Tony is a pain in my ass,” Sam grumbled, looking desolately at his spilt cereal.