'nothing personal.'

i finished university like 2 years ago and yet still to this day i sometimes get randomly hit with this surge of panic that i have an exam i haven’t studied for or an essay that i haven’t finished in time for the deadline.

semi-hiatus, once again

alright my laptop still hates me, it shuts itself literally every 5 minutes into playing. I can still use it for simple things such as browsing and stuff but i cant play or use photoshop, which sucks since the sims helps with my anxiety but anyways
im sorry for being so inactive in the past few months, im trying to buy a new laptop or pc but its really hard for me to afford one right now, so i guess the only thing i can do is wait
i love you all!! once again, im really sorry 

Aw man I guess MEA’s officially closed up, multiplayer aside. That’s not entirely surprising at this point given how things have been headed on the dev side of things, what with them shifting the entire MEA team up a while back and Aaryn Flynn leaving not long ago. I mean it sucks. 

I think what worries me most right now is that if the next few games tank, Bioware is likely in serious trouble, right? I mean I don’t pretend to know the game industry well, but if Anthem (since that’s the next game out) does poorly, Bioware will likely be downsized further. Not that you have to suddenly be excited for Anthem or support it. I know there’s a lot of doubt and frustration towards Anthem in general and I’m not invalidating that.

And if DA4 doesn’t do great either after that, then that’s gonna mean an end to their production at their current size/output. Or at least that’s what it seems like that’s where it’s heading at this rate, should they continue to not sell well (and that’s really what it boiled down to: very bad press, bad reviews, dev backend issues, and meh sales numbers that didn’t balance out the rest).

Granted that’s years away, and if Anthem and/or DA4 do super well they’ll be just fine, so I hope both do well. Especially DA4 but I am biased.

I’d hate to see Bioware close up most of its doors you know? They’re not perfect, and they have a lot to learn still and there’s stuff about representation that they need to improve on, but they’ve made some hugely influential games, and I’d hate for that to go away.

do i get that spiders are just out there minding their own business, trying to live their lives, and keep bug populations down? absolutely. but the second i see mr. many legs meandering abt the space i dwell in…. itendstonightbytheallamericanrejects.mp3


Delphine Cormier: a woman of her word

i think one of the worst symptoms of bpd is the lack of emotional permeance.

no matter how many good and loving people you have in your life … the second you are alone it feels like you were never loved. that it was all just a figment of your imagination and that feeling when you’re alone … the emptiness and sadness that feeds into self-hatred … that is the only reality.

and when you feel, like all borderlines feel, so goddamn intensely … people notice. & when you tell them how you feel people ask: do you really think so little of me? that i would be so heartless to forget you?

oh, sweet ones. there is no other way i know how to think. i’m sorry.