I stumbled upon the film this morning somehow after listening to a 2 Dope Queens podcast. For obviously reasons I’m interested in identify pieces especially when it comes to white moms and black children. However, what I didn’t expect was my feelings of connection to Lacey- the “black daughter” of the documentary, especially given that this isn’t even an adoption story.
What got me, was when Lacey met her biological father and her half-sister and she said that she didn’t feel a bond with them, despite spending time together and trying. At her biological father’s funeral she wasn’t weeping for a relationship lost, she just kept saying “It’s weird, it’s just weird”. EXACTLY.
THAT is a narrative I haven’t encountered from adoptees that is missing for me. It’s been 15 years since I found my biological parents and they are lovely, lovely people. But I feel nothing. In fact, if anything, I feel obligation much like you do when that great-aunt sends you $5 in the mail and now you’ve got a thank you card to write.
There are two main adoptee camps and I find myself left out in the gap in between. There are the “flip the script” adoptees who are annoyed that their adoption occurred without their consent (assuming it was around birth) and now they’re supposed to be grateful and feel saved. And then there are the adoptees that I call the Shruggers. You don’t hear about them because they’re adopted but just don’t care. The flip the script adoptees would probably argue that the Shruggers are in denial or defending their deep wounds of abandonment, but tell them that and they still just shrug. They aren’t identified by their adoption status any more than they are by there job, talents or geographic location. I grew-up with quite a few adopted Shruggers and I’ve tried to convert them into finding their birth family. “Don’t you at least want to know if you have any full siblings out there?! Say they word and I’ll find them in a week or two for you” but they shrug.
I can’t get down with the flip the script adoptees either because, well, I just don’t feel that injured or wronged by my adoption. Maybe it’s because I was able to find my birth family? Maybe I need more therapy? Or maybe like everything else, there’s a whole spectrum of feelings and responses to our complicated lives. I’m really glad this documentary demonstrated this.
Drunk prompt: when the EQ spiked Belle's tea in 6x09, it didn't speed up her pregnancy. Instead, it brought Lacey back.
While the Evil Queen had expected a strong reaction from
Belle after spiking her tea, it had been along the lines of hysterical crying (from
either Belle or Rumple) or watching the newly heavily pregnant woman waddle
after her while attempting to throw a book at her.
She hadn’t expected to find herself face-to-face with the
town’s favorite bar brat again.
“Lacey?” The Evil Queen gasped. “How did you – “
“It seems I have a rather high tolerance for all things
liquid.” The cursed version of Belle shrugged. “I suppose I should thank you
for that. But first…”
The tiny brunette slammed a fist into the Evil Queen’s face,
knocking her back several feet. She staggered, tripped over her long, black
gown and fell to the floor gracelessly.
Lacey stood over her menacingly. “Hands off my man. You got
I'm not really sure that Andy would drag BVB to court if he left and they kept the name. Arch Enemy has switched from Johan Liiva to Angela Gossow and now Alissa White-Gluz and they've kept the same name. So, I'm not really sure that it would be possible.
Well of course it would be possible, one of my favorite bands Flyleaf have switched lead singers a couple times, the only difference is that neither of them had lead singer syndrome. Lacey left to take care of her kids and husband and then later came out with a solo record considering the band already had a new lead singer and she couldn’t just take her spot back. & Kristen (I think that’s her name) left because she felt she wasn’t right for the band.
Andy is suspected to leave because he thinks he can do better as a solo artist because he wants all the music to be done by himself. But of course he hasn’t left yet and who knows if he will. -N
“Sorry about this,” Archie said, fluffing another pillow for him. “Ever since Ruby….well you know…I had to update the spare guest room into a werewolf proof room, and well, Belle’s in the main gues troom…”
“It’s fine, Archie,” Neal told him from he stood awkwardly in the kitchen doorway. “Thanks for letting me stay.”
Honestly, there wasn’t a lot of options and the good doctor knew it. Cruella had taken the suite at Granny’s, Lacey had crashed at Ruby’s, and it had been safer to give Jefferson the last room at Granny’s which left Neal two options.
The doctor’s couch or stay at his dad’s old house with newlyweds and a newborn.
Neal had opted for the couch, even if it did kill his back.