'it just got dry cleaned'

Straight White Boy Problem #990

Nick spilled BEER on my blazer at the FORMAL and I was like….FUCK….nick felt really bad and wanted to buy me a drink and I was like DUDE i just got this DRY CLEANED but then the DJ started to play a chainsmokers song and, suddenly, I was too drunk to care about my soiled blazer because I just wanted to dance to a good song with my formal date (she’s in a sorority and I’ve told EVERYONE that she’s in a sorority)

Spirit Week

For hysterical-for-joshifer, who requested “Mal in Ben’s jersey.”

Also here on AO3.

Audrey is the last person Mal expects to find knocking on her door, but that’s exactly what happens.

“Can I help you?” Mal asks with suspicion. She considers slamming the door in the other girl’s face, but ultimately she’s too curious to send Audrey away.

“We need to talk,” Audrey pushes her way into the room. If she’s surprised to find Jay sitting in Mal’s desk chair while Evie patches up one of his vests, or Carlos sprawled out on the floor with Dude, she doesn’t show it. “All of you, even better.”

Evie smiles politely at Audrey before turning back to work. Mal can’t help but think that it’s a shame Audrey’s the one whose royal blood matters in Auradon, because Evie has more nobility in her little finger than Audrey does in her whole body.

“No please, come on in,” Mal rolls her eyes. “Make yourself at home.”

Audrey looks around the room for a place to sit, but ultimately decides to remain standing with her back against the wall. It’s like she’s afraid one of them will sneak up behind her and attack.

Like she’d be worth the effort.

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Note: Woohoo! Two days in a row! I can finally write now that I’m stuck at home b/c of a blizzard. So yay! I grouped two requests on this one. Hope you all enjoy. I liked writing this one. 

Requests: CrowleyxReader 63 from anonymous

“Stop running from this. I know I’m not the only one who feels it.”

#66 and #95????? from @glittery-poubelle

The only thing I want is you.” and “There’s no going back if we do this.”

Word Count: 1736+

Pairing: Crowley x Reader

Warnings: Mild language, killing demons

You pulled your angel blade from the last demon you had killed. The bloody blade glistened in the dim light that barely filled the warehouse you were in.

You were on a hunt clearing out a nest of demons that were terrorizing a town. It was your job to make sure that nobody else got hurt because of their doing. You despised the bastards. You wanted every single one of them dead.

You wiped the bloody angel blade on your jeans, making the weapon slightly cleaner. Your eyes scanned the bloody scene before you, you were pleased with your work. You smirked as you put away your weapon and turned to walk out of the warehouse and to your car.

As soon as you turned around your gaze fell on a man in an expensive tailored black suit. Your hunter’s instincts came in and you automatically reached for the gun holstered on your thigh.

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I’ve read at least three cyberpunk novels at this time in which a major character has bionic eyes and it’s explicitly stated that their tear ducts were removed during the implantation. This is unfailingly a sign that, somewhere in Act 3, something emotional will happen to them and their inability to cry over it will be an unsubtle synecdoche for their increasing abandonment of their humanity and human vulnerability.

This leaves me with two thoughts:

1. What the hell are you lubricating your eyes with, then? You just got some metal and/or plastic rattling around inside your socket and you don’t do any kind of maintenance and it never chafes? These are usually portrayed as fully spherical permanent implants. You just got a random dry orb hanging out in there? You ever clean that son of a gun? Oh no I got some dirt in my bionic eye I guess that’s just going to be a thing forever now
2. Tear gland overflow drains into the nose. Also, lacrimation is a reflexive response to some stimuli, completely regardless of emotional state. Please consider a big badass cyborg getting a runny nose every time the sun is too bright

Let It Rain | ONE SHOT ft. Suho |

Anonymous askedcan i please ask for a fluffy scenario with Suho where we’re out on a date at the park (later at night like 8pm ish?), and it starts raining really bad and we get drenched, then go back to his house and I have to borrow some of his clothes, and then since its storming so bad, i have to stay over night with him, but we’ve never slept together (not in a sexual way) please!! ~

Late night dates were nothing out of the ordinary when it came to your boyfriend Kim Joonmyeon. Compared to how late Sehun takes his girlfriend out, just after dinner time was nothing to complain about, considering that you actually had the opportunity to see Suho outside of fan meets and schedules.

He was all yours, and you were all his; even for one night at the park.

“This is actually relaxing” Your boyfriend chuckled, freely moving foreword and back on the swing set of the local park, “I want to savor this moment for a long time”

Watching Joonmyeon from the roundabout, swinging like a child was pretty funny in itself, but it was true; this moment was much to precious to take for granted. 

Gazing upwards to the night sky, it seemed that clouds had begun to roll in, blurring any chance of seeing the stars and with more of a chance that the weather reports from earlier today were in fact true.

“You know, they said it was supposed to rain tonight” You added, still looking up, causing Suho to pause from swinging as he too looked up,

“Seems like heaven wanted us to be together even for one night” He teased, sending you a just as cheesy grin,

Feeling a solid yet light rain drop fall upon your forehead, you began to realize that maybe this date in the park was over sooner than later.

“We spoke too soon” You sighed in defeat, accepting the sudden downpour of rain.

Leaping from the swing set, Joonmyeon took you by your hand, directing the both of you through the heavy rain, heading towards the closest available shelter that happened to be the bus stop.

Stopping before the both of you could reach it, you held Suho back in fears of getting caught out.

“We can’t take the bus” You reminded him, in the midst of the pouring rain, “Everyone will recognize you”

Removing his jacket and handing it to you to use as a makeshift umbrella (not that you were already drenched from head to toe), Suho messed with his now soaking hair; trying to think of the other options. 

“Your place is too far to walk in this weather” He forced a smile, unsure of how you’d react to his next suggestion, “If it’s okay with you, we can stay at my parents place since it’s the closest?”

It had turned out that Joonmyeon’s parents place, that too happened to be his old house wasn’t that far from the park; it must have been just over a block away.

Located in the ‘swankier’ area of the city, the grand apartment was subtly extravagant, and anyone could have guessed that he once lived here before moving to the dorms.

“Seems like my parents went to Busan for a teachers convention” He said coolly, dropping his set of spare house keys by  the stand in the entry hallway.

Both your soaked clothes began to drip onto the shiny tiles of the house, leaving the both of you with no choice but to get changed.

“And it looks like the place just got cleaned” You giggled nervously, “We should dry up”

Heading into the lounge room, you stood awkwardly away from the carpet, careful not to dampen it either; waiting for Suho to direct you to the bathroom.

“Oh, right” He gave you his signature smile, as he switched on the main lights, “The bathroom is down there, first door on your left”

The storm outside continued to roar, the sound of thunder rattling by the grand windows of the porch.

“I don’t have spare clothes” You admitted the obvious, “Do you have anything I can borrow?”

His face flushing with his thoughts, Joonmyeon snapped back into reality, 

“You wait here”

Slowly creeping your way back up the hallway towards the lounge room where the lights were beaming from, you considered hiding out in the bathroom. It wasn’t that the clothes he had given you weren’t comfortable, in fact, they were quite warm and toasty; it was just that, they were his.

“You should probably stay here till the storm calms down” Suho echoed from the other end of the hallway, having just washed up as he dried his hair with a towel; not realising that you were just further ahead.

Bashfully turning around, you finally faced him; dressed in the oversized jumper he had given you to wear.

“Is it okay?” You asked, referring to your stay at the Kim’s residence,

“You look…adorable" 

"I wasn’t talking about…” You almost corrected your boyfriend till he wrapped an arm around you, “…Thanks, I guess”

“I can take the couch” Joonmyeon suggested, walking the both of you towards another door that had his name plastered neatly on it, “And you can stay here”

Swinging open the door gently, Suho revealed his childhood/teenage bedroom, still decorated and furnished as he left it when he began training at SM. It appeared to have been kept dust free and maintained to its original state; still boasting a freshly cleaned sheet smell.

“Are you sure?” You genuinely asked, you felt like as the guest, you should’ve taken the couch instead, “I mean-”

“It’s all yours” He grinned, reminiscing his time spent living in this place, “Goodnight ___-ah”

Switching on your phone to check the time, you were surprised to see that it was only 1:00am; it had felt like hours trying to get to sleep. By all means his bed was just the right comfort, but something didn’t feel right.

Quietly getting out of bed and out of the room, the heavy rain still pouring onto the rooftop deafened the sound of your footsteps towards the lounge room where a single light illuminated the room.

 Spotting a figure fast asleep on the large couch; you admired the sight of your boyfriend finally sound asleep; feeling bad that you wanted to interrupt his slumber.

Tiptoeing to his side, you carefully slipped yourself beneath the soft quilt he was already under and lay yourself comfortably beside him. Anyone would have deemed it uncomfortable, but if anything, it was the best place right now to fall asleep.

Feeling your warmth surrounding him, Joonmyeon edged over to give you more space, slowly opening his eyes just to make sure it was you. It was the first time this ever happened, but it felt so normal, like it happened countless times before.

“Couldn’t sleep?” He mumbled, wrapping you in his arms, 

“Mmm” You replied, your eyes now shutting in his embrace,

“Well, now you can… right next to me

ahhhhhhhh… hope you liked it ^^ hahaha; its sort of awkward because I see Suho as the type to act that way I guess nyahaha. Thanks for your request! Hope you enjoyed reading ! yay!

Say You’ll Remember Me 1/12

A/N: Okay so I’ve been talking about this fic for fucking years, and I know that but here it finally is!  Basically @neiljoustens asked for something based off Taylor Swift’s Wildest Dreams years and years ago and it grew into this, the 12-part fluffy but also angsty Bellarke summer romance AU that has been my life for the last six months.

Updates will be posted on Wednesdays and Saturdays!

AO3 // playlist

The first time Clarke sees him is at the Kennebunkport River Club’s Season Opening Gala.  She’s stopped listening to the conversation she was supposed to be a part of five minutes ago and the dark-haired stranger, scratching at the collar of his over-starched polo is the most interesting person in the room.

Clarke herself is uncomfortable in her flippy summery yet formal dress, not that she’d ever let on to that.  She’d been trained out of such habits a long time ago.  After all, the daughter of world famous neurosurgeon Abigail Griffin and Wall Street trader Jake Griffin could hardly be allowed to look out of place at a gathering such as this.  Not when her future husband could be the blonde in the Harvard rowing pullover.  Or the brunette by the punch bowl trying to surreptitiously slip the flask he emptied into his glass back into his pocket.

But this dark-haired man is different.  There’s something about the way he holds himself, vigilant and watchful, like he didn’t know how he’d gotten there.  And yet, he blended in.  Collared polo, ironed khakis, spotless Sperry’s.

In a town where Clarke knew everyone, or at least everyone worth knowing, a stranger was a rare occurrence.  Especially one who was well connected enough to earn an invitation to an event like this one.  He was an enigma.  And with the Jahas’ absence in Kennebunkport this year Clarke could do a lot with a good enigma.

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