'i need that box where is it'

Predator

The trouble with melancholy:

You see, at the core of it,

There was a deep love for emptiness (to begin with)

seeping, oozing into the void.

Because she is a crouching tiger

frozen silent in the hunt,

preying upon gullible moments 

devouring artfully until nothing left.

Unrequited love for unfettered desolation

oozing from bone white teeth.

You see, the mirror lies

for it is indifferent to her ways of

frolicking on dainty clouds

raining on unsuspecting wayfarers.

Where is Dorian Gray when you need him?

And if you ever see her pensive near the ocean,

know that there is a weathered box (of blue light or receipts)

sinking fast, somewhere 

nibbled on by unsuspecting barracudas.

And if you are the marooned man

I am writing to,

know that isolation is not bound to your

patch of land.

2

So for those who may not have heard me shouting it from every rooftop, I adore Sirena von Boo. She is hands down my absolute favorite character in the whole franchise, and finally getting her doll was like a complete dream come true for me. However, she needed some…TLC when she came out of the box. I wanted to keep her as close to the original as possible (unlike most of my makeovers, which I tend to change every aspect about the doll). More before and after pics under the cut, for those interested!

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Okay so here’s one of those rare gems of moments where retail is actually kind of okay. 

I’m gonna start by revealing the well-kept secret that I live in Ohio… in case all the buckeye references flew by you. And Ohio… is obsessed with space travel. I mean- it makes sense. We’ve got a couple astronauts in our history, there’s the National Aeronautics and Space Museum in Dayton, and on those quiet summer nights, where the sky is clear and the stars are twinkling in the distance, it is hard to not look up at the darkness and wonder if there is intelligent life out there. (Not here.)

Anyhow, all the fourth graders have a big space-related project around this time of year and this means that we, as craft retailers, have to be problem solvers. The number one problem is ‘oh gods, please tell me that you’re going to put a primer down on that styrofoam before you spray paint it.’

Because- you guessed it- everyone is making a damn solar system model. 

That is to say… their parents are making the solar system model. 

I was just finishing up explaining the use of a styrofoam primer and which spray paints are safe to use with styro to the mother of one ten-year-old when the mother of another ten-year-old rounds the corner looking desperate. 

“Is this a good paint for cardboard?”

It’s not. So I round her back to where her son and daughter are waiting and explain them what will work. She needs green, and there are three different kinds of greens. The mom holds them up and has her daughter choose. 

“Which one do you want for your face?”

I freeze because putting acrylic on your skin is a great way to get a rash. “Hold on, you’re not putting this on your skin, are you?”

“No, gosh no. We’re painting a box and putting the box on her head.”

Okay, I’m curious. “Can you explain what you’re making?”

The daughter chimes in. “We have to do a project for school and I’m gonna dress up like a alien!”

Instantly, I love this child. Not just because she considers dressing up as an alien to be an acceptable school project, but because she’s not leaving it to her mom to do all the work. 

So we talk for a minute about project stuff and she tells me that her brother is going to be the first man on Mars. Her brother is five. Her brother concurs- he is going to be the first man on Mars. Their mom tells me about the Neil Armstrong museum nearby. Like… this is a family of people excited about the future of space travel.

“Did you hear about those new planets,” I asked. 

The little girl starts jumping up and down. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

Mom: “Can you remember what they said about the new planets?”

“They said…. they said that they can… uhhh… sustain life! There might be aliens!”

Mom: “Now, they said they can sustain life, but I think they also said that it isn’t very advanced life.”

The little girl looks off into space- contemplating this new information. She is formulating a very important thought. 

Very softly: “We get to be the aliens this time.”

Yes, I do teach creative writing: your opening scene

The opening scene is the most important piece of your novel. This scene determines whether your reader is pulled in or puts the book down. Here are some important do’s and don’ts.

DO write it as a scene, not a data dump. You may have a fantastic premise, a marvelous alternate history or post-apocalyptic world or magical realism to die for, but if you don’t engage your reader in an actual scene, you will bore them.

DO write a scene that immediately introduces a character that the reader can root for. Yes, I know Stephen King has had great success introducing victims that are then shortly afterward killed off. That’s a horror trope and we expect it. But if you are caught up in world-building and haven’t dreamed your way into a character who is worth following through 100,000 words of writing, your story is pointless. I have read many pieces of fiction by would-be writers who can’t grasp this essential concept, and without exception, they fail to engage the reader.

DO introduce the stakes right away. In case that’s a challenge that needs some exposition to develop, create some immediate stakes (a life threat works) that keep the tension high and the reader engaged until you can lay out the larger stakes.

DO begin in medias res, which means “in the middle of things.” Most beginning fiction writers make the mistake of starting too early in the plot. Meet the monster on page 1. 

DON’T include a flashback in the first chapter. Work on a scene, which means time is NOT compressed. It should include dialog, action, description, setting, and interior monolog. Keep everything happening within that scene for at least the first chapter. You can bring in a flashback in Chapter Three.

DON’T shift points of view within a single chapter. Let the reader establish a strong bond of interest (even if it’s with a POV villain) over the course of a whole chapter.

DON’T open the story with your character waking up unless it’s because she’s got a gun in her face (or a knife to her throat – you get what I mean). We don’t need to follow a character through their mundane daily routine. 

DON’T be coy. Beginning writers often have this idea that they need to hold back on revealing all their secrets – what’s in the box, who’s behind the curtain, where they’re going next, etc. Their well-meant plan is to slowly reveal all this over several chapters. Trust me on this one: tell your readers instead of keeping it a mystery. You WILL come up with more secrets to reveal. Your imagination is that good. Spill it now, and allow that revelation to add to the excitement.

*everything* that’s considered romantic has been conditioned by society, it’s performative, like the emotion can be genuine but romantic *gestures* are a societal construct, chocolates, flowers, rings, there’s no inherent act of romance, the purest form of what is conceptualized as “romance” can probably be boiled down to emotion + intent, and the manifestation of that combo’s gonna be different for everyone

an action evoked from a feeling of adoration and the need to express it can be constrained by what society provides, but once it’s made irrelevant the meaning becomes tailored to those experiencing it; someone giving fancy chocolates to their s.o. because it’s ‘the thing to do’ can’t measure up to someone giving the chocolates because they know their s.o. thinks the boxes are nice and really likes hazelnut fillings, same gesture, but former lacks ‘inherent’ romance because romance isn’t ‘inherent’, the later has a standard approach but it goes beyond what’s considered ‘romantic’

Fran and Jock

by reddit user Pippinacious/ tumblr user muricanmagpie

I was the last in a long line of grandkids on both sides of the family. No one has ever said as much, but I’m pretty sure I was an “oops” baby; the result of one too many glasses of wine and a couple over forty who thought unplanned pregnancies were for teens.

Oops.

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journal ideas 2.0 🌻
  • my imaginary mini garden/terranium: step up your flower and plant art doodle and make a garden or terranium instead!
  • quick ways on how to save the bees: let this dedicated page serve as a constant reminder that you must help in saving the bee population
  • how do i plant my *insert plant here: i have this page called how i plant my sunflowers and it may also double serve as my seed count recorder. quick suggestion: do it in numerical bullet form
  • my pet profile: this is absolutely adorable if you make one for every pet that u have and add a little box where u can doodle em
  • soothing notes to self: one-liner reminders in bullet form to read and write regularly for a healthy heart
  • monthly goals: step up your monthly goals game by making mini squares and doodling your goals in every box instead of the old bullet way!
  • mini paintings: of absolutely anything: your pets, flowers, whatever that inspire the monet in you
  • pressable mini sentimental things: tickets, candy wrappers, tea packs, cute tags, book marks, mini notes, old stickers, stamps, flowers, leaves, petals, etc
  • what i love about today: write it down. like the old times. no need to doodle stuff, just narrate your day because there’s nothing better than raw stories.
  • what’s in my backpack: quick illustration of the stuff u have inside your jansport, kanken, whatever u bring in school or anywhere else!
  • my skincare routine: i dont actually have this page but it feels like a good addition because it’s a way of reminding myself that i have to care for my skin
  • small gestures of self-love: things that i plan to do for myself for optimal self-love!! more like a plan?
  • little things that i should do more often: things that you are going to do in the near future to live your life to the fullest and help you grow and become a better person
  • sunshines in a bottle: make mini bottles and paint each bottle with your very own version that reminds you of the good things that happened to you this week or month maybe!
  • the go-to art materials: an illustration + list of my favorite art materials that i use almost everytime! i wanted to add this page because it helps you organize your brushes or something
  • the coffee stars: rate and maybe even sketch the coffee shops that you’ve been to for the past few weeks! dedicate maybe 3 or 4 pages max for better effect!
  • weekly mantra: what is your chant for this week? write it down and make it look like art (i.e: through calligraphy, etc)
  • popcorn n flix: a movie + snack favorite list that should be done once a month!
signs as The Adventure Zone quotes

aries: i very flirtatiously hit it with my warhammer

taurus:  and instead of using castor sugar like i normally would, i went with uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰʰ splenda

gemini:  PERCEPTION CHECK i want to see if he wet his pants

cancer:  no dogs are allowed on the moon. they just run right off the goddamn thing

leo: “the second ruffian –” “give them names.” “ –……..craigory”

virgo:  it covers all of his essential, uh, oils, but it does say “juicy” where his butt would be

libra: “and when i take my hand away, i’ve stuck a ‘kick me’ sign on his back” ”i kick him”

scorpio:  i need to do a check to see if him being on fire gives me the idea for spicy food

saggitarius:  somewhere in the distance, ludacris smiles

capricorn: “you run up and tear the box open, it explodes, you die. no, you tear the box open, it DOESN’T explode, you DON’T die –” “i’m fine either way.”

aquarius: abracafuck you!

pisces: the three of you walk into this room singing showtunes, and everyone inside this building looks at you, and kills you

Nursemaid

(Jimin’s crush comes over to his house to help him out after he suffers an injury that leaves him with limited use of both hands.)

Warnings: 6000+ words of smut, Jimin POV, I’ll let you guess what kind of smut takes place


“I can’t believe you managed to injure both of your hands on the same day.” Hoseok’s girlfriend, Sophie, stifled a laugh while she said it. “I can’t tell if you are dumb or just unlucky.”

 Jimin sighed.  He had been stupid and drunk when he and Jungkook went out into the street to play with fireworks.  One went off too close to his hand, burning his right palm requiring a trip to the emergency room where his injury was cleaned and bandaged.  The doctor gave him a lecture about drunk people and explosives and how fortunate he was not to have blasted off his fingers.            

While exiting the hospital, Jimin immediately tripped over the curb and landed with his full weight onto his left hand resulting in a small fracture and return trip to the emergency room to get a splint to immobilize his other hand.   Now, every time Jimin saw someone, he had to suffer the embarrassment of explaining what happened. People had a hard time not laughing when they heard how he managed to get hurt twice in one day.

 “Does it hurt much?” you asked him.

“Not really. As long as I don’t bump into anything or use my fingers too much, it’s okay.” At least you seemed to be genuinely concerned about his well-being. That’s one of the reasons Jimin liked you, you always seemed caring and sincere.  The other main reason he liked you was because he thought you were incredibly hot.  There were plenty of nights Jimin stayed up fantasizing about what it would feel like to be with you.  He wanted to ask you out, but had been waiting until there was some indication that you were even the slightest bit interested in him.  He was starting to think that maybe he had a chance with you, but he felt neutered with his injuries, unable to do things like casually touch you and see how you would respond to his advances.  Jimin resolved to make a move as soon as he had full use of his hands again.

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Lost And Then Found — Ted E. Bear’s Grand Aquarium Adventure

Late one afternoon, Security Officers Sylvia and Kevin found a lost teddy bear belonging to a visiting school. After locating the owners, they took him on a tour of the Aquarium to pass the time before he could be returned. Here is the tale of Ted E Bear’s Grand Aquarium Adventure.

Don’t worry, don’t panic. This has happened before.

Yep—I’m just here by myself, alone on the floor.
I guess things aren’t fine, since no adieu was truly bid…
Oh my goodness, my gracious, just where is my kid?!

Maybe the teacher brought everyone back to the kelp?
Nope, nobody. OK, uh—yeah, I may need a little help.

Excuse me coral, apologies, I don’t mean to vent
But perhaps you know where exactly my kid went?

I guess I’ll just finish the visit on my own, that’s not so bad.
When you’re happy as a clam there’s no reason to be sad.

*Sniff* No, this really isn’t fun to be alone with the fish!
I want to find my kid! Please, I just have this simple wish!

- Hey little buddy! Aw—are you lost my dear?
- Yes! I can’t find my kid! I’m alone forever I fear!
- What’s your name? We’re Kevin and Sylvia and we care.
- Thank you so much for your help. My name’s Ted E. Bear.

- Not to worry, helping you get unlost is part of our job!
- Really? Oh wow, oh thank you—you’re most—oh *SOB!*

There there Mr. Bear we’ll find your kid, post haste!
Now let’s make sure your visit doesn’t go to waste!

- Check it out, I helped raise this little purple-striped jelly!
- Wow, it’s really beautiful—awesome job there Tommy!
- Want to give it a shot? I’ll bet you’re great at animal care.
- Wow, I don’t think I could—I’m just a little plush bear!

- Nonsense, you got this. Here’s a scraper—it’s all in the wrist!
- How’s that?
- Perfect! Look at you—you’re a budding jelly Aquarist!

- Whoa, what’s this class—I get to feed the fishes?!
- Yep! But to pass, you’ll need to wash the dishes!

- The control room is cool!
- You’re eating it up like a glutton!
- What’s this switch here?
- DON’T TOUCH THE RED BUTTON!

- Want to help us greet our guests—Jasmine needs an intern!
- Oh wow, a job at the Aquarium—it will be so much fun to learn!

Learn… Where do I remember hearing that word… SCHOOL!
My kid! I have to get back! But… working here would be so cool!

Oh me, oh my—I really want to help conserve the great blue sea!
And… being there for my kid is the way for me to fulfill my destiny!

- OK, let’s find my school—what assistance can I show?
- Oh, we already found them.
- Really, when?!
- About 8 hours ago.

- Well, then let’s get this show on the road!
Box me up, make sure I’m safe and stowed!
- Can do Ted E! We wish you the best on your journey!
Thanks for stopping by, say hello to your school family!

Dear Sylvia and Kevin, 
I made it back to class safe and sound.
The teachers were so happy to tell the kids I had been found.
Thanks for teaching me to find my dreams and in my heart carry ‘em.
Much love from your Beary-best friend, Ted- E, to the Monterey Bay Aquarium!

Thanks so much to Ms. Bizon’s class and the Sea Breeze School in Foster City for letting us host Ted E for the day—albeit accidentally! We hope to sea him again soon!

anonymous asked:

Call me terrible, but aces who like and seek out sex make me, a sex repulsed ace, feel invalid. They are almost no different from anyone else, yet they ace like they're so ace. How can their asexuality be so important if it hides under how they're "normal"? Why are we so protective of these aces when they're at best almost allos(I don't mean to insult allos in any way), or at worst exclusionists? It just appalls me how we act like they're hated when really, they're treated so normally.

I really debated just deleting this and blocking the sender because it is so utterly antithetical to everything this blog stands for, but I think it needs to be addressed, because attitudes like this are a warning sign to me that history may be poised to repeat itself, and that will happen over my dead body.

I’ve been around a long time. Like, before tumblr, before AVEN, before aces had anything like the community we have today, before we even had a consistent word for ourselves. That means I remember some of the early politics that Kids These Days weren’t around for, have no way of really knowing–including the downright ugly fights that dominated the mailing list days about how to define asexuality. There was a contingent of people, you see, that held that the only way to be Truly Asexual was to completely lack any sort of libido, and to abstain from sex entirely. These people were. Not nice people. They were the exclusionists of their time, and I mean that very seriously. Nearly every hateful, cruel, and self-spiting tactic you see in REGs on tumblr today was also levied by nonlibidoists and antisexuals at the time. They were absolutely vicious toward not only anybody within ace circles who wanted a broader definition of asexuality [the one we use today, eventually] but also toward non-aces or anyone who wasn’t celibate by choice, which resulted, among other things, in exactly the sort of homophobia and sex shaming that REGs accuse us of to this day.

We, as a community, fought tooth and nail against defining ourselves in this way, and against both the ugly infighting it produced and the abhorrent behaviour it encouraged. We have been fighting tooth and nail ever since to move past that stain on our history, to define ourselves in a way that is safe and welcoming to all aces, and to ensure that we conduct ourselves in a way that aligns with the ethics of the communities we ally ourselves with, and to what we have decided is the ethical core of our own community. It sickens me to the core to be hearing views like this espoused again from inside our community. I will not stand for it. We will not stand for it. We didn’t then, and we won’t now. 

There is no right way to be asexual. There is no wrong way to be asexual. There is nothing at all wrong with aces who have, want, or seek out sex. There is nothing wrong with aces who are so repulsed by sex that they can’t even think about it. There is nothing wrong with aces who have no feelings about sex whatsoever. There is nothing wrong with aces who never have or will feel attraction. There is nothing wrong with aces who do occasionally feel attraction but still feel that ace identities best represent their experiences or that the ace community best addresses their needs. Asexuality is not behaviour. Asexuality cannot be hidden under behaviour, or opted out of through behaviour, and if some people feel like they need to try to do that, that is a reflection of an aphobic society pressuring people into closeting or otherwise denying themselves in an attempt to escape that oppression, not proof that they’re “normal” [also, feel free to never juxtapose “ace” and “normal” again, that’s gross].

And, finally, this frankly drips of exactly the kind of sex-shaming we’re so often accused of, no matter how hard you try to hide it behind “no insult to allos.” It’s gross. Don’t do it. 

This is one of the most unsavoury asks I have seen in my time on this blog. Everything about this sentiment is unwelcome on this blog; keep it out of our inbox and keep it out of our community. Our gates are open. Our arms are open. Every ace is welcome, every ace is valid, every ace experience is a genuine ace experience, one worthy of consideration, protection, and acknowledgement. We have worked hard to build this community into what it is today. The gatekeepers of the past removed themselves from the rest of us and faded into oblivion and that is where I want their sentiments to stay.

I’m not going to call you terrible, because I stand for a community where every ace is welcome and finds the resources they need to navigate their life and identity. But that cannot, will not, come at the expense of others.

-Dew

Types as Disney Villains

NOTE: Continuation to Types as Disney Heroines where I showcased the strengths of each type. This time, I’m focusing on the downsides and what the types may look like when unhealthy or looping.

ISTP - Aloof. Vulgar. Aggressive. Cold-hearted.

Originally posted by southernretardation

“I tire of your arrogance, old man. Bow to me!”


ESTP - Possessive. Boastful. Disrespectful. Immature.

Originally posted by all-things-disney-gifs

“Were you in love with her, Beast? Did you honestly think she’d want you, when she had someone like me?”


INTP - Lazy. Untrustworthy. Awkward. Cynical.

Originally posted by disneydeviants

“He’s gotta have a weakness, because everybody’s got a weakness. I mean, for what? Pandora, it was the box thing. For the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse, okay?”


ENTP - Facetious. Moody. Noisy. Obnoxious.

Originally posted by idlestrology

“Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, I’ll smash it with a hammer!”

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Things I loved about Logan (Spoilers)

● Logan for once shown kind if shitty at fighting
● R-16 rating was used properly
● Patrick Stewart needed makeup to look old
● “I’m not fucking a box of avocados”
● Glasses Logan
● This murder child is murderous
● Feet claws
● All the nurses caring for the mutant children
● Family road trip (bonus: death everywhere)
● The dinner scene where everybody is smiling
●Laura smiles too because Logan is
●X-24 being a fucking monster, but never was to the point it became annoying
● Laura being bilingual
● Mutant kids being precious and messing with
●Dad Wolverine™
● That scene in the woods where Wolverine is Wolverine which includes
●Wolverine Lunge™
●Logan shooting the scientist guy because he couldn’t give less of a shit
……
● “Daddy…”
● Laura turning the cross into an X

The Sixth House: Contempt

Virgos are notorious for being picky and judgmental. Think of a little kid wrinkling her nose at a plate of food, saying “I’m not going to eat that, it’s too greasy” or an old man giving the stink eye to some ‘hooligans’ laughing a little too loudly in public. 

Virgo rules the 6th house, so that energy and attitude may transfer to the sign on the 6th house cusp and planets that fall into the sixth house. 

You may also reject or neglect the needs of the natal planets that fall into your sixth house. Deep down, that kid actually wants to enjoy junk food. The old man misses the days he laughed with his friends. 

It’s a difficult situation, which is why planets in the 6th are often treated as ‘afflicted.’ There is often a conflict between how you think you ‘should’ be, vs. what you want deep down. 

Aries/Mars in the 6th: You are repulsed by people who are selfish, loud, and competitive. You may have contempt for people who are too open with their anger and other emotions. You have no patience for bossy personalities. You can neglect your own inner drive to compete, win, and express anger.

Taurus/Venus in the 6th: You dislike people who are vain, lazy, and materialistic. You may be grossed out by traditionally ‘romantic’ gestures. You might even be turned off by people who are ‘excessively’ beautiful or charming. You might neglect your own need to feel beautiful and experience romance.

Gemini/Mercury[?] in the 6th: You have a lot of contempt for people who gossip or just talk excessively and don’t take things seriously. You have little patience for idle chatter. You don’t like people who are flaky, unreliable, and seem to have a lot of casual acquaintances. You might neglect your own need for idle chatter and talking just for fun. 

Cancer/Moon in the 6th: You’re grossed out by people who seek sympathy, cry easily, are ruled by their emotions, and act cowardly. You have no patience for moodiness or those who expect to be coddled. You prefer to offer practical advice rather than emotional support. You may neglect your emotional needs.

Leo/Sun in the 6th: You’re irked by egotistical, self-centered, self-serving personalities. You don’t like those who actively seek love, admiration, and attention. You have no patience for vanity. People who post a lot of selfies and get a lot of likes might be the bane of your existence. You hate casual dating and sex. You neglect your need for attention.

Virgo/Mercury[?] in the 6th: (Ironically) you’re judgmental of people who are judgmental. You think people who are health freaks are kind of stupid. You can’t stand uptight personalities. Perfectionists can drive you up the wall. You might not like people who are nervous and easily stressed out. This is a good position, so you might not neglect any basic need, but you might want to take better care of your body.

Libra/Venus in the 6th: [See Taurus] Additionally, you have no patience for those who are approval-seeking and image-obsessed. When people do things just to ‘be fair,’ you lose respect for them. Co-dependency is a huge issue. You may neglect your need for approval and partnership.

Scorpio/Pluto in the 6th: You are irked by dark, obsessive, passionate personalities. You have no patience for people who are out to ‘get revenge’ and hold grudges. You can’t stand paranoia or mind games. You may neglect your own need for passion and soul-deep connections.

Sagittarius/Jupiter in the 6th [?]: You don’t like flakes, irresponsible people, or those who don’t take things seriously. You don’t understand mindless optimism. You might think gambling is really stupid. You don’t like blunt, tactless personalities. You might neglect your need to be a little reckless, indulgent, and irresponsible every now and then. 

Capricorn/Saturn in the 6th: You think people who take everything too seriously are stupid. You might not like loners. You don’t like people who care too much about their reputation. You can’t stand workaholics. You might neglect your own need for professional accomplishment.

Aquarius/Uranus in the 6th: You don’t like people who seem to try too hard to be ‘weird’ and ‘unique.’ You don’t care for rebels or intellectuals. You can’t stand erratic behavior and unemotional personalities. You also don’t like people who always have to fit in to a social group. You might neglect your own need to stand out or have a group that you fit into. 

Pisces/Neptune in the 6th [?]: You might not like people who seem to have their head in the clouds. You don’t like people who are weak, apathetic, and manipulative. You have no patience for lies or delusions. You might neglect your own need to escape reality.

**Not sure if this got it right, esp with Mercury, but also Jupiter and Neptune. I’m opening the ask box for questions/comments on this post/your personal experience with 6th house planets and would appreciate feedback. 

edit: fuck it… i don’t know… tried my best… astrology is hard… just leaving this post the way it is… pls don’t take it too seriously…….

stuff that was (probably) overheard in the haus

holster: dude, which of these ties for the banquet?

ransom: well, I’d say this one looks better with your suit, but that one brings out those beautiful baby blues, bro

holster: …bro

***

nursey: how can you not appreciate this? it’s ART, man! it’s a huge fuck-you to society’s standards, to their rules, to their total control over how we all have to look and talk and think!

dex: just admit that you put your shirt on inside out by accident

***

shitty: as she simultaneously tackles and proves herself in yet another field of art, this is clearly some of ms. duan’s most inspiring work yet. the composition, the lighting, the sheer beauty of the subject-

lardo: all i asked was if you thought this selfie was good enough for instagram

***

bitty: what the HELL, jack. i thought you were my FRIEND. i thought you had my back. i thought you were my captain, i thought i could trust you…but you betrayed me. get out of my kitchen. i can’t look at you right now. i need to be alone

jack: bits, all i did was accidentally buy margarine

***

farmer: i was super into yu-gi-oh when i was a kid

chowder: damn that’s weird because i’m super into YOU-gi-oh right now

farmer: that was terrible and i love you

***

jack: where are a double double and a box of timbits when you need them, eh?

ransom: ugh i know

bitty: what language is this

***

holster: if i staged a one man production of legally blonde the musical would you come see it

ransom: yes but you have to come to my one man show of wicked

holster: deal

***

lardo: if you could have dinner with any person who died who would you have it with? i think i’d pick frida kahlo

shitty: whoever invented weed

***

jack: when i was little i used to have nightmares about global warming because i was afraid the ice would all melt so i couldn’t play hockey anymore

bitty: that is simultaneously adorable and heartbreaking

***

dex: okay so you literally know how to knit but the minute i play any journey music I’M the old man

nursey: i’m classy old. i’m a gracefully aging angela bassett. you’re a white dad at a barbecue whose secret spice is pepper

Did anyone say idiotic fluff prompts?

‘I heard a high pitched whine and ran in to see you crying over a picture of a kitten and a puppy hugging yes i know that is cute but are you okay’
alternatively: ‘I started whining with you’

‘Hey I noticed you were down so here’s a box of kittens don’t ask me where i got them but we gotta return them before sunrise no it wasn’t illegal shhh h’

'Yes I killed this man but he was a bad owner and now his animal is mine and perfectly happy so I don’t see the problem’

'Are you reenacting Bet In It from High School Musical as a way of making this decision?’

'You’ve been wearing gym clothes all day but haven’t moved at all what do you mean its a 'mindset’ no you need to actually move’

'Can you take this seriously what no i don’t care if there’s a dog this is a crime scene’

'It was a normal day until you rolled in blasting the 'maria hee maria ha’ song and I’m so done’

‘If you don’t stop singing ‘Poker Face’ I will make sure you will have no flippin face’

‘Person C playing ‘Pony’ every time Person A and B have a moment of sexual tension’

‘Is that an alligator?!’ ‘Hey, show some manners, his name is Lieutenant Fred!’

‘I made a blanket fort and you can’t come in unless you admit I’m the best and my moves are the funkiest’

‘I know how to settle this; DANCE OFF’

‘Will you stop stroking my hair and whispering ‘my precious’?!”

‘What’s your favorite book?’ ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ ‘Okay, another question, are you trying to make me shoot you?’ ‘Yes.’

‘Did you seriously learn the book word-by-word and do all possible research just to be able to sass your teacher when he thinks you don’t know anything?’

‘I stole your seat and in retaliation you sat on me’

‘You know, you’re not supposed to EAT THEM ALL AT ONCE, YOU COULD DIE’ ‘Your skin is like a pillow, are you an angel?’ ‘Great, now you’re high’

‘How many coffee’s did you have???’ ‘At least eleven’

‘Help me find my shirt’ ‘You know, as much as I want to…I don’t want to.’

‘Would you stop chatting with the fricking enemy

‘Are you eating a whole jar of Nutella in one sitting?!’ ‘I have problems leave me be’

‘Why am I the only sober one at this party and you’re completely wasted and clumsily flirting with me god at least you won’t remember my blushing’

‘You can’t just use ‘I have problems’’ as an excuse for everything!’

‘Did you just bake 20 fricking breads?’ ‘No…. I named them too, this is Breadly, Demi Loafato, Attila the Bun…’

“Carnations” (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the effervescent @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! i love you, you colorful tropical fish with scales made of diamonds! x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

“(Y/N), if you really don’t want to help, you can leave. It’s okay.”

You snap out of your involuntary trance, meeting the peeved eyes of the tall figure in front of you. Your eyelids rapidly close and open before you blankly mutter, “Huh?”

“Since we started setting up, you’ve sighed thirteen times, loudly scuffed your shoe against the floor seven times, and spaced out four times. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you don’t want to do this.”

It takes a lot to annoy actual angel Steve Rogers, but somehow you’ve accomplished just that in only five minutes. Sheepish guilt washes over you, and you quickly insist, “I’m so sorry. But I swear I want to help!”

“Are you sure? You look a little preoccupied, and I can also do this myself if something’s –“

“No, no, I want to help. I promise,” you firmly repeat. You furiously tape the banner to the table’s edges as if to show how determined you are to help. “I didn’t mean to be a drama queen and space out.” 

Steve tiredly rubs his palm against his face. “Is everything okay?” he asks. The concern in his voice makes the guilt expand in your lungs, compelling you to cast your eyes downwards.

When faced with a small deficit in the Student Government budget, Steve came up with the carnation sale. Students could order flowers –red for love, pink for friendship, and white for secret admiration– and cabinet members would deliver them to the recipients’ respective dorms.

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The Long Game - Derek Hale Imagine

Requested by @derangedangelImagine request :) Reader is the same age as Scott & the others but has a crush on Derek & is always flirting with him but Derek doesn’t reciprocate those feelings because of the age difference. But reader is in it for the “long game.” Like a GMW Maya & Josh situation. A few years later reader comes back & Derek likes her back. Thanks :D

Word Count: 4,502

Warning: Derek being abused and injured. 

My Teen Wolf Master List

Originally posted by agsztrashbouquet

Y/N couldn’t keep her lips from forming into a smirk as she saw Derek’s picture appear on her phone. She had just moved back to Beacon Hills earlier today into her new apartment. She had spent most of the day unpacking her boxes, and was already in bed watching a movie on her laptop. She quickly swiped her thumb across the phone and answered. “Hello, stranger. It’s after midnight. No guy ever calls a girl after midnight except for one-" 

"Y/N…” Derek interrupted followed by a loud growl. Y/N could hear Derek’s heartbeat going crazy and his labored breathing. What caught her attention was hearing another heartbeat. “I need you." 

His voice was filled with worry, which caused Y/N to sit up straight in her bed alarmed. "Derek, where are you?”

“I don’t know…” he whispered unexpectedly. He no longer sounded like he was in pain or fighting against someone. He now sounded weak and hurt.

“Derek, I need you to talk to me. What do you see?” She asked as she quickly got out of bed to get dressed.

“I can’t… see anything…” he mumbled. She rushed as she heard his heartbeat getting weaker by the second.

She swallowed hard as she closed her eyes, letting a tear fall down her cheek. She was absolutely terrified for him. “Derek… I’m going to come and get you, okay? But I need to call Stiles to help me. Can you answer the phone if I call you back?”

“My phone… is going to die…”

“Fuck!” She whispered to herself. She put on her shoes as an idea crossed her mind. “After you hang up with me, turn off your phone and save the battery for about 10 minutes. That’ll be about the time it will take me to get to Stiles’ office at the police station. I’ll call you back but you have to answer, okay?”

“O… kay…” he mumbled weakly.

“Derek?” Her voice trembled. He hummed a small ‘yes’. “Please answer the phone." 

"I promise,” he said before he hung up and turned off his phone like he was told to do. 

Y/N grabbed her keys before rushing to her car. Her fingers trembled as she dialed Stiles’ number. For some strange reason a flashback flooded her mind to the first time she went to Stiles for help with Derek.

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a day in the life.

established dean/cas, hunter husbands, for @honorreid. thank you for donating to the Team Trash Brigade GISHWHES fundraiser! want to commission me for something of your own? click here for more info. 

Castiel sleeps like the dead. It’s an unfortunate truth.

Dean rolls over only half awake because someone has stolen all the blankets, and he blindly seeks out warmth and comfort too early in the morning. Castiel is all but a statue beside him in bed though: on his back, comforter curled over his mouth with just his nose uncovered. He sleeps soundly and doesn’t stir when Dean nudges him, tries to squeeze his way under an arm or against his chest. Dean snuffles – not quite a whine – and Castiel goes so far as to kick him under the blankets, closing his eyes defiantly tighter.

Dean sighs. Time to get up, then.

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