- Jake: Bad News - Christine locked the keys inside the auditorium.
- Jake: Good News - We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
- Jake: Bad News - Christine finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress hot people.
- Jake: Good News - A hot person saw me do it.
- Jake: Bad News - It was Rich, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. He knows
Hey Papa Bear. Im not sure if you remember me, but im the ice skating anon 👋🏼 I have good news and bad news. The good news is i got into a competition !! And the bad news is that in practice when i performed a toe loop, i fell and just so happened to break my nose. So yeah, how exciting. I love you Papa Bear !! ❤️