'he's my husband

anonymous asked:

I know you two are a committed couple but if you had to choose, who would you swing with?

Bucky: I ain’t sure ‘bout that.

Tony: I’d have to say…Rhodey. Maybe Steve, if we got along better than we do right now.

Bucky: I’m gonna’ say Sam.

Sam: Excuse me?

Tony: We got asked who we would swing with, I’m guessing this is if Bucky and I weren’t together. I think. 

Sam: I’m flattered Barnes. 

Bucky: I think I’d swing with Thor too.

Thor: I am humbled my friend, you would be a fine man to wed.

Tony: Hey, hey he’s my husband thank you.

Bucky: Yeah, too bad you two, I got myself a fine fella already.

So I wrote this as a continuous post on hangoverwatch’s post, but I then decided to just rewrite this as my own text so the general public can read it.

Although I enjoy and appreciate the characterization that Jesse Mccree can be a bumbling goof at times (cause I mean, have you seen his outfit?) And how people portray him as a down-to-earth kind of guy that can and will sweep anyone off their feet with his Southern cowboy charm is great all, but I feel like we as a fandom forget that he is an extremely dangerous man.

In canon terms, his bounty is worth a hell of a lot more than Roadhog and Junkrat’s combined. “But Jess, JR and RH’s bounty are in pesos blah blah blah.”  Look, I already did my math, and when RH and JR’s bounties are converted to American currency their amount comes up to $1,371,704.48 each (A total of $2,743,408.96 USD combined) Compare that to Jesse’s whopping $60,000,000 USD bounty, their crimes pale in comparison to Jesse’s. Also, I (for those who need a little more convincing) went ahead and converted Jesse’s bounty to pesos and his came up to a total of $1,093,530,000.00! That’s 2x more than JR and RH’S combined and then some. This guy is a more wanted criminal than them, and they’re known for robbing, bombing, and even killing innocent people. And even if their bounties weren’t in pesos, Jesse’s bounty is still 10,000,000 more than theirs combined.

How he got his reputation to be so notorious is up in the air and will most likely be open to our opinion until we get more history between him, Gabriel, Deadlock, and Blackwatch. (Obviously Deadlock is more of a threat than we may perceive due to them [in the process of] hijacking a government train, and Jack’s voiceline in game saying that Gabriel should have ended Deadlock a long time ago. He of all people should bring up red flags when in comes to gangs considering how he views Los Muertos.)

So knowing that Jesse was part of this group at a young age (in my headcanon he was 15 going on 16) is really terrifying. That gives him a brief time period of a year to get him recruited into Deadlock, figure out his role, steal a lot of government items (successfully might I add), hone his skills as a marksman, and all while making a name for himself. Now, a lot of these things are easy to accomplish at an early age(honing skills, filling a role in a community, and making a name for oneself is all based on dedication.) The thing that’s scary is the fact that more than likely Jesse went on these assault missions and lived while doing the other 3 to the point that he was the only one considered to be taken into OW. Again we don’t know if he was threatened to join or he was offered a spot in OW peacefully. On his bio, it’s said that due to his resourcefulness and expert marksmanship Jesse was given a choice to join or not. So obviously, the person who recruited him (more than likely it was Gabriel) knew about Jesse McCree enough to want him on their team. And as posted by hangoverwatch, OW only has eyes and ears for the best. 

So let’s look at the facts:

Like from earlier in this post, Jesse McCree is a highly skilled man. Skilled enough to:

  • Sit on a train moving at the rate of 640 kpm/h (which is equivalent to 397.678 mp/h. Basically hella fast) with no signs of bodily distress.
  • Able to jump off said moving train with no struggle against wind and gravity while holding himself long enough to break a window.
  • Slaughter an entire Talon operative team BY HIMSELF without killing civilians with pinpoint accuracy even in the dark.
  • Knows he’s capable enough to kill Gabriel–a war hero, super soldier, and the Blackwatch figurehead (his voiceline proves that he feels like he’s the one that should kill Gabriel.)
  • Was able to survive long enough to earn himself a $60,000,000 bounty while still able to somewhat stay in public without being recognized (the event at Hanamura shows that he’s resourceful enough to cover his tracks to where people still don’t know who saved the shop even with his bounty.)

But that’s not it. He’s also the down-to-earth, snarky man that everyone writes/draws him to be

  • While a lethal killing machine can be quite the gentleman (stated by Ana who recalls him being “quite the charmer.”)
  • Has a competitive side (The new summer game line: “I don’t like much losing.”)
  • He’s a cheeky little shithead (ALL of his interactions with Reaper.)
  • He’s a cowboy fanboy (Upon closer examination, Jesse did not get his full cowboy get up until AFTER he left OW. Hinted by the voiceline between him and Reaper. R:You look ridiculous. J:Looked in a mirror lately?) He only had his hat and belt buckle throughout the Golden years. Serape, boots, and spurs came later.

So to everyone that thinks that Jesse McCree is an idiot let me be the one to say that you have never been more wrong. This man is a conniving, calculating, murderous, son-of-a-bitch with a cowboy/vigilante complex. He wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in your head if you stood on the wrong end of justice, and the problem is, is that it’s his code of justice. It’s whatever he deems is good or evil. This guy is seriously not a force to be reckoned with. Although he may not be as book smart as Winston, Mei, and Satya, and even Blizzard stated he can be a bit of an irresponsible adult (not being able to schedule appointments on his own) He can and will outsmart you in a game of wits effortlessly while also make you question your own intelligence. Long story short: Jesse McCree is a goofy, knowledgable, badass that won’t hesitate to kick your butt if you pushed the wrong buttons. So basically don’t get on his bad side and we’re all golden.

2

The Beard Sequel has arrived
You guys know Chris is Full Chop Bald now right

trek

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Multiples Bonuses because I cannot stop:

Where I imagine Science Officer Kirk argues with Captain Spock ALL the TIME. Except then they start to agree with each other.

Bonus:

since Science Officer Jim is still fundamentally Jim

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