'feminist ally'

The manhood act has become obsolescent. The manhood act has become an impediment to human harmony - perhaps even hazardous to our species’ health. The more seriously anyone takes the manhood act, the more dangerous it becomes. Yet we cling to it still.
—  John Stoltenberg, The End of Manhood
DO NOT FOLLOW ME IF YOUR FEMINISM DOESN'T INCLUDE:

• Trans women
• Trans men
• Intersex people
• The LGBTQ community
• Queer people of colour
• People with disabilities
• Autistic and neurodivergent people
• Sex workers
• Immigrants
• Women of colour
• People with mental illness
• The Black Lives Matter movement
• The poor and homeless
• Male advocacy
• Sexual assault survivors (men and women)
• Muslim women (with or without the hijab)
• Jewish women
• Sikh women
• Mothers

Honestly, LGBT+ people want allies, BUT we don’t want them so much that we’ll settle for people:

  • who call us f*ggots
  • think misgendering is funny
  • still use “gay” as a slur
  • think “you need us, we don’t need you.”

We’re not desperate, deary. We just want respect.

Your job as an ally is to step aside and give the mic to a member of an oppressed community, because they have first hand experience with the oppression they face.

Your job is not to run across stage with sparklers screaming shit like “not all [privileged group]” “I don’t see color” “we’re all just human” and “all lives matter.”

You are helping no one and you don’t get a gold star for taking up our stage.

If I participate, knowingly or otherwise, in my sister’s oppression and she calls me on it, to answer her anger with my own only blankets the substance of our exchange with reaction. It wastes energy. And yes, it is very difficult to stand still and to listen to another woman’s voice delineate an agony I do not share, or one to which I myself have contributed.
—  Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches