My psychiatrist baited me the other day im hollering.
I didn’t know he was tryiing to figure out if i had a hyperfixation/special interest and he went “so what is your favorite animal.” and BOI did i talk about leopard geckos for the next half hour anyways if you guys wanna know anything about leopard geckos i gotchu
38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?” prompt for yusuke?
You’re not so sure this is a good idea anymore.
A gently crumpled piece of paper sits on your lap,
overturned, folded, unfolded, and then re-folded again. On it is the title
‘couple strengthening exercises’ and several points beneath are listed and
crossed out: go to a place you’ve never been before, cook something together, say something nice, and finally (one of the only points that is yet to be crossed
out) give them something to improve on.
Yusuke has the same piece of paper in front of him.
“Surely there must be something you think I could improve
in,” he says, and sure, you can think
of some points, but you know what he’s like with criticism; you don’t want to
spend the next couple of days on an adventure to improve the shortcoming you
point out. He can be quite a perfectionist, after all, and he holds a lot of
stake in your relationship. Nothing less than perfect will suffice.
“Hm, nope. Nothing’s coming to mind.”
Yusuke sighs and brings a finger to his chin.
“When I proposed this exercise, you seemed very
enthusiastic. May I remind you these couple strengthening activities are an
important part of cultivating our healthy relationship? It would be a shame to
give up before we’re finished with them.”
You nod, because you appreciate that he’s taking your
relationship so seriously, it’s just –
“A lot of relationships that end prematurely do so because
of a failure to communicate. I wouldn’t want our relationship to end in the
same way,” he explains. It feels a little touching, because you realise the
only reason he’s going to such lengths in the first place is because he cares so
much about you.
With a drawn-out sigh, you give in.
“Well, maybe you could appreciate my sense of humour a
There’s a pause, and Yusuke returns to being deep in
“I – I see. I think I might need you to elaborate,” he says,
after thinking about it. You resign yourself to spending the next couple of
days reassuring Yusuke that ‘it’s not a big deal’ and that he ‘you were just exaggerating’.
“Well, a lot of the time you just don’t laugh when I want
you to. Sometimes I feel like you don’t even realise I’m joking.”
He’s thinking again.
“I see. That is entirely possible,” he mumbles. “Perhaps
before you make a joke, you should make some sort of loud noise? That way, I’ll
know to laugh at the end.”
“Not sure that would work, Yusuke.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you see him fiddling with the
sheet of paper nervously. It makes you feel bad, because you know for a fact he’s
taking this a hundred times more seriously than you could ever hope to.
“Is there anything else you could suggest? I’m willing to
try any of your ideas as long as they have a chance of removing obstacles from
“Don’t worry about it Yusuke, it’s not a big deal.”
His face scrunches in a way that looks no less anxious than
“But if there’s something to improve, surely we should begin
work on it? It seems unfair to ask you to overlook such a flaw for the course
of our relationship.”
“Honestly, it’s really not that important. I’ve come to
accept that some jokes are just harder for you to pick up on.”
Suddenly, he shuffles forward and grasps your hand in-between
both of his.
“It is important,” he says resolutely. Determination flares
in his eyes in a way that’s equally as endearing as it is overwhelming and
intimidating. “I refuse to overlook anything that has a chance of putting
distance between the two of us.”
If you had to pick an emotion to describe the way he’s holding
onto your hand, it would probably edge around ‘frantic’ and ‘desperate.’ It’s
rare that Yusuke doesn’t shower your conversations with sincerity when they
trail off like this, but it always manages to surprise you. He’s got the future
in mind when it comes to you, that much is clear. Still, you can’t help but laugh.
He recoils from you a little like he’s not sure what’s
happening, but you pull him back. You use your other hand to clasp his own, and
lean into him to give him a kiss that he returns gladly, if not without
“Don’t be stupid. As if I’d ever leave you over something as
stupid as that,” you say, honestly.
With the completion of this zine, i think its a good time to mention something.
Back in 7th grade or so, I wrote fanfic. I wrote cringy self insert pjo fanfic and it was fun. It was so fun! I had my own little character who was everything i admired in a character and she had a robot fox pet and a cool sword and she was brave and loveable and me. It was cringy.
I showed my best friend one night, i don’t remember how it came up but i sent him a link to the fic. And he destroyed me. He didn’t mean to, it was just teasing. But i was already so anxious about my writing and his opinion meant so much to me. He pointed out certain lines that suddenly seemed so so dumb and all the love I’d had for this character was suddenly gone.
I deleted the fic and stopped writing. I stopped writing for years. I felt so bad about my writing, it poured over into schoolwork and essays. I couldn’t even read other people’s fics.
Fast forward to about a year ago. I’d fallen in love with Voltron and had hesitatingly started writing a fic. It turned out to be 5k words long and i had reread it over and over and had it beta read, i was so nervous to publish it. A year later i still love that fic and I’m so proud of myself for writing it. I’ve written so much since then. It’s been such a long road getting back to this point but I’m here. I’m publishing works that I’ve poured my heart and soul into, I’m working on zines and my own original stories.
So this is all just to say, be careful what you say to people because you don’t know how hard it’ll hit them. And, if you’re doubting yourself and your talent in something, it’s okay. I promise, even if its awful and cringy it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you like it and that you had fun! I know it’s scary but you can be brave and you can enjoy what you do.
Let kids be kids. Please. Stop tearing them apart because they wrote a mary sue or they have a self insert who steals the show. Just let fun be fun.
good morning??? good afternoon?? good evening?? idk the time there or when you’ll read this but there you go anyway.
mmkay so i don’t really know how to write this without sounding like a giant, gross cheeseball so first of all, happy birthday!! i’m so thankful we met and can’t imagine life without you, you’ve honest to god have become one of my bestest friends ever. don’t be discouraged every time i insult you or tell you that i’m better (which i am) but what i’m trying to say is, i love you no matter what and i know i might not say it often but you have to know that i do, a lot. we have a lot in common?? and we’ve been through so much in real life and yet i can always count on you to understand and always be there for me. you know the real me and you accept me for who i am despite all the shit i’ve been through and you have no idea how much i appreciate that and you. honestly, no amount of words can describe how much i love and appreciate you and our friendship. i can’t believe we’ve come this far and i’m hoping there are many more years and memories to come. the day we meet, i’m going to die bc i’m meeting an actual goddess (who were you again?? bc i called dibs on aphrodite which i am).
the hardest time was when mari left us and we had to count on each other bc she meant the entire world to the both of us and still does. what i’m trying to say is that i’ll always be here to make you laugh your fucking ass off no matter what. i don’t care if i’m depressed or in a shitty mood, my best friend comes first, always. i can’t thank you enough for being there for me when mari no longer is and i hope i’m always there for you too, no matter what?? so thanks for making me laugh until i cried and cheering me up when all i wanted to do was curl up and give up on my life. sadness aside, you’re the best and i couldn’t have asked for a better best friend so thank you for putting up with my ass and not giving up on me when i myself wanted to. to be honest, i lose track of time whenever we talk and i think that is probably one of the greatest feelings ever (besides laughing so much until your stomach hurts).
happy birthday, you loser or should i say my loser??
you mean hell of a lot to me and i love you so fucking much.
your other (much cooler and prettier) bich i’m only half joking