'clean-coal'

What has Trump actually done in his first 100 days?

In late October, the president made 28 promises for his first 100 days. These were not the only promises the president made for his first 100 days, but they comprised the “contract with the American voter” Trump introduced immediately before the election. 

Here are Trump’s promises, followed by where they stand:

•  "Propose a Constitutional Amendment to impose term limits on all members of Congress.“ Not proposed.

•  "A hiring freeze on all federal employees to reduce federal workforce through attrition (exempting military, public safety and public health).” Done, then rolled backthis month.

•  "A requirement that for every new federal regulation, two existing regulations must be eliminated.“ Done.

•  "A five-year ban on White House and Congressional officials becoming lobbyists after they leave government service.” Done for White House officials, with loopholes.

•  "A lifetime ban on White House officials lobbying on behalf of a foreign government.“ Done.

•  "A complete ban on foreign lobbyists raising money for American elections.” Not done.

•  "I will announce my intention to renegotiate NAFTA or withdraw from the deal under Article 2205.“ Done.

•  "I will announce our withdrawal from the Trans-Pacific Partnership.” Done.

•  "I will direct my Secretary of the Treasury to label China a currency manipulator.“ Not donesays he won’t.

•  "I will direct the Secretary of Commerce and U.S. Trade Representative to identify all foreign trading abuses that unfairly impact American workers and direct them to use every tool under American and international law to end those abuses immediately.” Done.

•  "I will lift the restrictions on the production of $50 trillion dollars’ worth of job-producing American energy reserves, including shale, oil, natural gas and clean coal.“ In process: Trump ordered a review of what regulations to cut.

•  "Lift the Obama-Clinton roadblocks and allow vital energy infrastructure projects, like the Keystone Pipeline, to move forward.” Done.

•  "Cancel billions in payments to U.N. climate change programs and use the money to fix America’s water and environmental infrastructure.“ Not done.

•  "Cancel every unconstitutional executive action, memorandum and order issued by President Obama.” Done.

•  "Begin the process of selecting a replacement for Justice Scalia from one of the 20 judges on my list, who will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States.“ Done. Neil Gorsuch was confirmed to the Supreme Court.

•  "Cancel all federal funding to Sanctuary Cities.” Done, but blocked by federal judge.

•  "Begin removing the more than 2 million criminal illegal immigrants from the country and cancel visas to foreign countries that won’t take them back.“ Done.

•  "Suspend immigration from terror-prone regions where vetting cannot safely occur. All vetting of people coming into our country will be considered extreme vetting.” Done, but blocked by federal courts — twice.

Overall, Trump is 14 for 18 on these actions and measures.

Trump also promised to introduce ten pieces of legislation in his first 100 days. He has introduced or announced three of them.

•  Cut taxes for the middle class and businesses. Announced: Trump’s tax plan cuts the corporate tax rate from 35% to 15%, but it’s unclear how the plan will help the middle class.

•  Establish tariffs on goods created by U.S. companies overseas and shipped back. Not done.

•  Leverage public-private partnerships to spur $1 trillion in infrastructure investment over 10 years. Not done.

•  Let parents send their child to the school of their choice. Not done.

•  Fully repeal the Affordable Care Act and replace with a conservative option. Introduced.

•  Allow Americans to deduct child care and elder care from their taxes. Not done.

•  Fully fund construction of a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. Not done.

•  Increase training and support for local police to fight violent and drug crimes. Not done.

•  Increase funding for the military, reform the Veterans Administration. Announced.

•  Enact new ethics reforms to “drain the swamp.” Not done.

Trump is 0 for 10 on passage of those pieces of legislation, and 3 for 10 on introducing or announcing them. Read more (4/28/17)

Counting Sheep

As the time grew shorter, Ian found it impossible to sleep. The need to go, to find Rachel, burned in him so that he felt hot coals in the pit of his stomach all of the time. Auntie Claire called it heartburn, and it was. She said it was from bolting his food, though, and it wasn’t that—he could barely eat. 

He spent his days with his father, as much as he could. Sitting in the corner of the speak-a-word room, watching his father and his elder brother go about the business of Lallybroch, he couldn’t understand how it would be possible to stand up and walk away, to leave them behind. To leave his father forever behind. 

During the days, there were things to be done, folk to be visited, to talk to, and the land to be walked over, the stark beauty of it soothing when his feelings grew too heated to bear. At night, though, the house lay quiet, the creaking silence punctuated by his father’s distant cough and his two young nephews’ heavy breathing in the room beside him. He began to feel the house itself breathe around him, drawing one ragged, heavy-chested gasp after another, and to feel the weight of it on his own chest, so he sat up in bed, gulping air only to be sure he could. And finally he would slide out of bed, steal downstairs with his boots in his hands, and let himself out of the kitchen door to walk the night under clouds or stars, the clean wind fanning the coals of his heart to open flame, until he should find his tears and peace in which to shed them. 

One night he found the door unbolted already. He went out cautiously, looking round, but saw no one. Likely Young Jamie gone to the barn; one of the two cows was due to calf any day. He should go and help, maybe … but the burning under his ribs was painful, he needed to walk a bit first. Jamie would have fetched him in any case, had he thought he needed help. 

He turned away from the house and its outbuildings and headed up the hill, past the sheep pen, where the sheep lay in somnolent mounds, pale under the moon, now and then emitting a soft, sudden bah! , as though startled by some sheep dream. 

Such a dream took shape before him suddenly, a dark form moving against the fence, and he uttered a brief cry that made the nearer sheep start and rustle in a chorus of low-pitched bahs . 

“Hush, a bhailach,” his mother said softly. “Get this lot started, and ye’ll wake the dead.” 

He could make her out now, a small, slender form, with her unbound hair a soft mass against the paleness of her shift. 

“Speak o’ the dead,” he said rather crossly, forcing his heart down out of his throat. “I thought ye were a ghost. What are ye doing out here, Mam?” 

“Counting sheep,” she said, a thread of humor in her voice. “That’s what ye’re meant to do when ye canna sleep, aye?” 

“Aye.” He came and stood beside her, leaning on the fence. “Does it work?” 

“Sometimes.” 

They stood still for a bit, watching the sheep stir and settle. They smelled sweetly filthy, of chewed grass and sheep shit and greasy wool, and Ian found that it was oddly comforting just to be with them. 

“Does it work to count them, when ye ken already how many there are?” he asked, after a short silence. His mother shook her head. 

“No, I say their names over. It’s like saying the rosary, only ye dinna feel the need to be asking. It wears ye down, asking.” 

Especially when ye ken the answer’s going to be no , Ian thought, and moved by sudden impulse, put his arm around her shoulders. She made a small sound of amused surprise, but then relaxed, laying her head against him. He could feel the small bones of her, light as a bird’s, and thought his heart might break. 

They stood for a while that way, and then she freed herself, gently, moving away a little and turning to him. 

“Sleepy yet?” 

“No.” 

“Aye, well. Come on, then.” Not waiting for an answer, she turned and made her way through the dark, away from the house. 

There was a moon, half full, and he’d been out more than long enough for his eyes to adjust; it was simple to follow, even through the jumbled grass and stones and heather that grew on the hill behind the house. 

Where was she taking him? Or rather, why? For they were heading uphill, toward the old broch—and the burying ground that lay nearby. He felt a chill round his heart—did she mean to show him the site of his father’s grave? 

But she stopped abruptly and stooped, so he nearly tripped over her. Straightening up, she turned and put a pebble into his hand. 

“Over here,” she said softly, and led him to a small square stone set in the earth. He thought it was Caitlin’s grave—the child who’d come before Young Jenny, the sister who’d lived but one day—but then saw that Caitlin’s stone lay a few feet away. This one was the same size and shape, but—he squatted by it, and running his fingers over the shadows of its carving, made out the name. 

Yeksa’a

“Mam,” he said, and his voice sounded strange to his own ears. 

“Is that right, Ian?” she said, a little anxious. “Your da said he wasna quite certain of the spelling of the Indian name. I had the stone carver put both, though. I thought that was right.” 

“Both?” But his hand had already moved down and found the other name. 

Iseabaíl

He swallowed hard. 

“That was right,” he said very softly. His hand rested flat on the stone, cool under his palm. 

She squatted down beside him, and reaching, put her own pebble on the stone. It was what you did, he thought, stunned, when you came to visit the dead. You left a pebble to say you’d been there; that you hadn’t forgotten. 

His own pebble was still in his other hand; he couldn’t quite bring himself to lay it down. Tears were running down his face, and his mother’s hand was on his arm. 

“It’s all right, a duine,” she said softly. “Go to your young woman. Ye’ll always be here wi’ us.” 

The steam of his tears rose like the smoke of incense from his heart, and he laid the pebble gently on his daughter’s grave. Safe among his family. 

It wasn’t until many days later, in the middle of the ocean, that he realized his mother had called him a man.

An Echo in the Bone 

Tbh I think like a solid third of the US thinks the entire federal government consists either of pallid, treacherous ex-hippie liberal ivory tower scientists who spend tens of thousands of dollars a year on trips to Europe for seminars and fake climate studies designed to cripple clean coal, or overweight, entitled black women who sit at their cushy administrative jobs all day doing nothing but painting their nails, talking on their Obamaphones, and occasionally sending out some malicious paperwork to ruin a small business or two. Like, this is what people think we’re getting rid of when Trump or Ryan or Bannon or whoever propose gutting such-and-such federal agency or department. And people like the idea of that perfidious, Marxist professor and that uppity, loud black lady getting kicked out on their asses and maybe even getting thrown in prison, so they’re all for it without having the faintest clue what these important agencies actually do.

Ufos Pretend America Is Good and Clean

Sometimes I pretend
that my used tissues
are actually tarot cards
reading me a bed time story
of flowers blooming on ufos
looking for a good time in America
questioning traffic
making love to hamburgers
smoking clean coal
and the stories make me sleepy
as if I dived into a lake of
cold medicine.

Science March, best signs so far:

“got polio? Me neither. Thank a scientist. ”

Various signs using root negative one to indicate something (clean coal, etc) is imaginary

“I know two things: the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, and cutting NIH findings is a bad idea”

“like a white blood cell, I’ll fight like hell for her ”

“ I’d rather be… ” with follow ups like number crunching or in the lab.

usatoday.com
Trump Promises to Cut Funding to Climate Change Programs in First 100 Days
In Gettysburg this weekend, Trump unveiled his agenda for first 100 days in office.

Donald Trump promised he would immediately redistribute funds earmarked for UN climate change programs and channel them to domestic projects. In a speech in Gettysburg, Trump said during his first 100 days in office, he would also lift restrictions on energy production, including oil, natural gas and “clean coal,” and greenlight projects such as the Keystone XL Pipeline.

Things that aren’t going to save the environment:
-reusable water bottles, hybrid cars, ethanol/biodiesel fuel, commercially produced “natural”/“organic” food, and other supposedly “green” consumer products
-“population control” that targets developing nations that are barely contributing to global pollution
- pretending that “clean coal” is a thing

Things that will save the environment:
- large scale green energy projects using clean technologies such as solar, hydroelectric, wind, and nuclear power that substantially reduce the use of fossil fuels
- reduction of overall global energy usage such as long term sustainable manufacturing and agricultural practices, localised production of goods and energy that reduce the need for freight transportation
-the end of first-world consumerism and global industrial capitalism
-full communism now

Bobby loves to bake, and that makes me happy....

I can’t help thinking of Rumple baking for Belle……..!

HARDMAN movie star Robert Carlyle has revealed how he’s started home baking in his remote Scots home to beat stress. 

Carlyle, 39, says he loves to retreat into rural life in the sleepy west coast village where he lives with his wife Anastasia.

The Glasgow-born actor, who starred as savage thug Begbie in Trainspotting and evil psycho Renard in The World Is Not Enough, added: “I clean and set our coal fires every day and I’ve also started baking.

"It’s just like chemistry - I love it. It’s like an entirely different person lives out here.” Carrot cake and bread are his specialities. Carlyle had to move to the country from Glasgow’s West End, where fans besieged his home, to escape the pressures of fame.

THE FULL MONTY star ROBERT CARLYLE likes to relax - by baking cakes in his spare time. The actor, usually known for his hard man roles in films like FACE and TRAINSPOTTING, Carlyle has revealed a softer side to his character. The 39-year-old says, “After baking my first cake, I knew how FRANKENSTEIN felt. I had made this amazing thing. It felt fantastic.” (ES/WNTRE/CPT)

Source: WENN

Everything Trump wants to do with his first 100 days in office:

From the office of Donald Trump: 

What follows is my 100-day action plan to Make America Great Again. It is a contract between myself and the American voter — and begins with restoring honesty, accountability and change to Washington

Therefore, on the first day of my term of office, my administration will immediately pursue the following six measures to clean up the corruption and special interest collusion in Washington, DC:

* FIRST, propose a Constitutional Amendment to impose term limits on all members of Congress;

* SECOND, a hiring freeze on all federal employees to reduce federal workforce through attrition (exempting military, public safety, and public health);

* THIRD, a requirement that for every new federal regulation, two existing regulations must be eliminated;

* FOURTH, a 5 year-ban on White House and Congressional officials becoming lobbyists after they leave government service;

* FIFTH, a lifetime ban on White House officials lobbying on behalf of a foreign government;

* SIXTH, a complete ban on foreign lobbyists raising money for American elections.

On the same day, I will begin taking the following 7 actions to protect American workers:

* FIRST, I will announce my intention to renegotiate NAFTA or withdraw from the deal under Article 2205

* SECOND, I will announce our withdrawal from the Trans-Pacific Partnership

* THIRD, I will direct my Secretary of the Treasury to label China a currency manipulator

* FOURTH, I will direct the Secretary of Commerce and U.S. Trade Representative to identify all foreign trading abuses that unfairly impact American workers and direct them to use every tool under American and international law to end those abuses immediately

* FIFTH, I will lift the restrictions on the production of $50 trillion dollars’ worth of job-producing American energy reserves, including shale, oil, natural gas and clean coal.

* SIXTH, lift the Obama-Clinton roadblocks and allow vital energy infrastructure projects, like the Keystone Pipeline, to move forward

* SEVENTH, cancel billions in payments to U.N. climate change programs and use the money to fix America’s water and environmental infrastructure

Additionally, on the first day, I will take the following five actions to restore security and the constitutional rule of law:

* FIRST, cancel every unconstitutional executive action, memorandum and order issued by President Obama

* SECOND, begin the process of selecting a replacement for Justice Scalia from one of the 20 judges on my list, who will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States

* THIRD, cancel all federal funding to Sanctuary Cities

* FOURTH, begin removing the more than 2 million criminal illegal immigrants from the country and cancel visas to foreign countries that won’t take them back

* FIFTH, suspend immigration from terror-prone regions where vetting cannot safely occur. All vetting of people coming into our country will be considered extreme vetting.

Next, I will work with Congress to introduce the following broader legislative measures and fight for their passage within the first 100 days of my Administration:

  1. Middle Class Tax Relief And Simplification Act. An economic plan designed to grow the economy 4% per year and create at least 25 million new jobs through massive tax reduction and simplification, in combination with trade reform, regulatory relief, and lifting the restrictions on American energy. The largest tax reductions are for the middle class. A middle-class family with 2 children will get a 35% tax cut. The current number of brackets will be reduced from 7 to 3, and tax forms will likewise be greatly simplified. The business rate will be lowered from 35 to 15 percent, and the trillions of dollars of American corporate money overseas can now be brought back at a 10 percent rate.
  2. End The Offshoring Act. Establishes tariffs to discourage companies from laying off their workers in order to relocate in other countries and ship their products back to the U.S. tax-free.
  3. American Energy & Infrastructure Act. Leverages public-private partnerships, and private investments through tax incentives, to spur $1 trillion in infrastructure investment over 10 years. It is revenue neutral.
  4. School Choice And Education Opportunity Act. Redirects education dollars to give parents the right to send their kid to the public, private, charter, magnet, religious or home school of their choice. Ends common core, brings education supervision to local communities. It expands vocational and technical education, and make 2 and 4-year college more affordable.
  5. Repeal and Replace Obamacare Act. Fully repeals Obamacare and replaces it with Health Savings Accounts, the ability to purchase health insurance across state lines, and lets states manage Medicaid funds. Reforms will also include cutting the red tape at the FDA: there are over 4,000 drugs awaiting approval, and we especially want to speed the approval of life-saving medications.
  6. Affordable Childcare and Eldercare Act. Allows Americans to deduct childcare and elder care from their taxes, incentivizes employers to provide on-side childcare services, and creates tax-free Dependent Care Savings Accounts for both young and elderly dependents, with matching contributions for low-income families.
  7. End Illegal Immigration Act Fully-funds the construction of a wall on our southern border with the full understanding that the country Mexico will be reimbursing the United States for the full cost of such wall; establishes a 2-year mandatory minimum federal prison sentence for illegally re-entering the U.S. after a previous deportation, and a 5-year mandatory minimum for illegally re-entering for those with felony convictions, multiple misdemeanor convictions or two or more prior deportations; also reforms visa rules to enhance penalties for overstaying and to ensure open jobs are offered to American workers first.
  8. Restoring Community Safety Act. Reduces surging crime, drugs and violence by creating a Task Force On Violent Crime and increasing funding for programs that train and assist local police; increases resources for federal law enforcement agencies and federal prosecutors to dismantle criminal gangs and put violent offenders behind bars.
  9. Restoring National Security Act. Rebuilds our military by eliminating the defense sequester and expanding military investment; provides Veterans with the ability to receive public VA treatment or attend the private doctor of their choice; protects our vital infrastructure from cyber-attack; establishes new screening procedures for immigration to ensure those who are admitted to our country support our people and our values
  10. Clean up Corruption in Washington Act. Enacts new ethics reforms to Drain the Swamp and reduce the corrupting influence of special interests on our politics.

On November 8th, Americans will be voting for this 100-day plan to restore prosperity to our economy, security to our communities, and honesty to our government.

This is my pledge to you.

And if we follow these steps, we will once more have a government of, by and for the people.

Here is Donald Trump’s plan for his first 100 days, courtesy of NPR, along with my general reaction to them:

What follows is my 100-day action plan to Make America Great Again. It is a contract between myself and the American voter — and begins with restoring honesty, accountability and change to Washington[.]

Therefore, on the first day of my term of office, my administration will immediately pursue the following six measures to clean up the corruption and special interest collusion in Washington, DC:

* FIRST, propose a Constitutional Amendment to impose term limits on all members of Congress;

* SECOND, a hiring freeze on all federal employees to reduce federal workforce through attrition (exempting military, public safety, and public health);

* THIRD, a requirement that for every new federal regulation, two existing regulations must be eliminated;

* FOURTH, a 5 year-ban on White House and Congressional officials becoming lobbyists after they leave government service;

* FIFTH, a lifetime ban on White House officials lobbying on behalf of a foreign government;

* SIXTH, a complete ban on foreign lobbyists raising money for American elections.

On the same day, I will begin taking the following 7 actions to protect American workers:

* FIRST, I will announce my intention to renegotiate NAFTA or withdraw from the deal under Article 2205

* SECOND, I will announce our withdrawal from the Trans-Pacific Partnership

* THIRD, I will direct my Secretary of the Treasury to label China a currency manipulator

* FOURTH, I will direct the Secretary of Commerce and U.S. Trade Representative to identify all foreign trading abuses that unfairly impact American workers and direct them to use every tool under American and international law to end those abuses immediately

* FIFTH, I will lift the restrictions on the production of $50 trillion dollars’ worth of job-producing American energy reserves, including shale, oil, natural gas and clean coal.

* SIXTH, lift the Obama-Clinton roadblocks and allow vital energy infrastructure projects, like the Keystone Pipeline, to move forward

* SEVENTH, cancel billions in payments to U.N. climate change programs and use the money to fix America’s water and environmental infrastructure

Additionally, on the first day, I will take the following five actions to restore security and the constitutional rule of law:

* FIRST, cancel every unconstitutional executive action, memorandum and order issued by President Obama

* SECOND, begin the process of selecting a replacement for Justice Scalia from one of the 20 judges on my list, who will uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States

* THIRD, cancel all federal funding to Sanctuary Cities

* FOURTH, begin removing the more than 2 million criminal illegal immigrants from the country and cancel visas to foreign countries that won’t take them back

* FIFTH, suspend immigration from terror-prone regions where vetting cannot safely occur. All vetting of people coming into our country will be considered extreme vetting.

Next, I will work with Congress to introduce the following broader legislative measures and fight for their passage within the first 100 days of my Administration:

1. Middle Class Tax Relief And Simplification Act. An economic plan designed to grow the economy 4% per year and create at least 25 million new jobs through massive tax reduction and simplification, in combination with trade reform, regulatory relief, and lifting the restrictions on American energy. The largest tax reductions are for the middle class. A middle-class family with 2 children will get a 35% tax cut. The current number of brackets will be reduced from 7 to 3, and tax forms will likewise be greatly simplified. The business rate will be lowered from 35 to 15 percent, and the trillions of dollars of American corporate money overseas can now be brought back at a 10 percent rate.

2. End The Offshoring Act. Establishes tariffs to discourage companies from laying off their workers in order to relocate in other countries and ship their products back to the U.S. tax-free.

3. American Energy & Infrastructure Act. Leverages public-private partnerships, and private investments through tax incentives, to spur $1 trillion in infrastructure investment over 10 years. It is revenue neutral.

4. School Choice And Education Opportunity Act. Redirects education dollars to give parents the right to send their kid to the public, private, charter, magnet, religious or home school of their choice. Ends common core, brings education supervision to local communities. It expands vocational and technical education, and make 2 and 4-year college more affordable.

5. Repeal and Replace Obamacare Act. Fully repeals Obamacare and replaces it with Health Savings Accounts, the ability to purchase health insurance across state lines, and lets states manage Medicaid funds. Reforms will also include cutting the red tape at the FDA: there are over 4,000 drugs awaiting approval, and we especially want to speed the approval of life-saving medications.

6. Affordable Childcare and Eldercare Act. Allows Americans to deduct childcare and elder care from their taxes, incentivizes employers to provide on-side childcare services, and creates tax-free Dependent Care Savings Accounts for both young and elderly dependents, with matching contributions for low-income families.

7. End Illegal Immigration Act Fully-funds the construction of a wall on our southern border with the full understanding that the country Mexico will be reimbursing the United States for the full cost of such wall; establishes a 2-year mandatory minimum federal prison sentence for illegally re-entering the U.S. after a previous deportation, and a 5-year mandatory minimum for illegally re-entering for those with felony convictions, multiple misdemeanor convictions or two or more prior deportations; also reforms visa rules to enhance penalties for overstaying and to ensure open jobs are offered to American workers first.

8. Restoring Community Safety Act. Reduces surging crime, drugs and violence by creating a Task Force On Violent Crime and increasing funding for programs that train and assist local police; increases resources for federal law enforcement agencies and federal prosecutors to dismantle criminal gangs and put violent offenders behind bars.

9. Restoring National Security Act. Rebuilds our military by eliminating the defense sequester and expanding military investment; provides Veterans with the ability to receive public VA treatment or attend the private doctor of their choice; protects our vital infrastructure from cyber-attack; establishes new screening procedures for immigration to ensure those who are admitted to our country support our people and our values

10. Clean up Corruption in Washington Act. Enacts new ethics reforms to Drain the Swamp and reduce the corrupting influence of special interests on our politics.

On November 8th, Americans will be voting for this 100-day plan to restore prosperity to our economy, security to our communities, and honesty to our government.

This is my pledge to you.

And if we follow these steps, we will once more have a government of, by and for the people.

A solid collection of, with a few exceptions, exceptionally bad policy ideas.

AFRICA. A country. Poor but happy. Rising. ALMOND. All eyes are almond-shaped. AMERICAN. With the prefix “all,” a blond. ARTICULATE. Say “You’re very articulate” to young blacks, and then ask where they are from. ARTISAN. A carpenter, in Brooklyn. ATHEISM. Deranged cult of violent fanatics. AUSTRALIANS. Extremely fit. Immune to pain. If you meet one, say “Foster’s.” The whole country is nothing but beaches. BLUE. The color of purity. Countless mysterious ads are devoted to pads and liners that absorb blue liquid. BRAVE. Doomed. BREAST. No joking matter. One glimpse on television sufficient to destroy a childhood. (See CHILDREN.) BUDDHISM. The way of peace. CAESAR. “Veni, vidi, vici.” Get into a conversation about the pronunciation. CARAMEL. Term used to describe black women’s skin. No other meaning known. CHILDREN. The only justification for policy. Always say “our children.” The childless have no interest in improving society. CHINESE. Wonder what they’re thinking. CHOCOLATE. Term used to describe black women’s skin. No other meaning known. CHRISTIANITY. Peace on earth. CLARIFICATION.Reversal. COAL. Clean. COFFEE. Declare that it is intolerable at Starbucks. Buy it at Starbucks. COMMUNITY. Preceded by “black.” White people, lacking community, must make do with property. CRIME. Illegal activities involving smaller amounts of money. CRISIS. Mention that it is composed of the Chinese characters for opportunity and danger. DIVERSITY. Obviously desirable, within limits. Mention your service in the Peace Corps. EGGS. Always say “You can’t make omelets without breaking eggs” whenever the subject of war comes up. EMIGRÉ. Jewish immigrant. EVOLUTION. Only a theory. FASCISM. Always preceded by “creeping.” FEMINISTS. Wonderful, in theory. FISH. A vegetable. GERMANS. When watching football, “never rule out the Germans.” HARVARD. Source of studies quoted on BBC. Never say “I went to Harvard.” Say “I schooled in the Boston area.” HAUTE COUTURE. Always declare that it is made by gay men for boyish girls. Wait hours to see fashion exhibits at the Met. HEAT. Antonym of “humidity.” HILARIOUS. Never simply say “funny.” HIP-HOP. Old-school hip-hop, i.e., whatever was popular when you were nineteen, is great. Everything since then is intolerable. HIPSTER. One who has an irrational hatred of hipsters. ILIAD. Declare a preference for the Odyssey. INDIA. Work your tolerance of or aversion to spicy food into the conversation as quickly as possible. “A land of contrasts.” INTERNET. A waste of time. Have a long online argument with anyone who disagrees. ISLAM. Religion of peace. JAPAN. Mysterious. Always “the Japanese.” Mention Murakami. JAZZ. America’s classical music. The last album was released in 1965. LITERALLY. Swear you’d rather die than use “literally” as an intensifier. MAGISTERIAL. Large book, written by a man. MEN. Always say “All the good ones are gay or taken” within earshot of the straight single ones. MIGRANT. Mexican immigrant. MOCHA. Term used to describe black women’s skin. No other meaning known. NEWSPAPERS. Bemoan their gradual disappearance. Don’t actually buy any. NIETZSCHE. Say “Nietzsche says God is dead,” but if someone says that first, say “God says Nietzsche is dead.” ODYSSEY. Declare a preference for the Iliad. PARIS. Romantic, in spite of the rude waiters and Japanese tourists. Don’t simply like it; “adore” it. POET. Always preceded by “published.” Function unknown. PRETTY. On Facebook, to indicate an unattractive woman. PROUST. No one actually reads him. One rereads him, preferably on summer vacation. PUNS. Always say “No pun intended” to draw attention to the intended pun. RACISM. Obsolete term. Meaning unknown. REGGAE. Sadly, just one album exists in the genre. RUSHDIE. Have a strong opinion on The Satanic Verses. Under no circumstances actually read The Satanic Verses. SCANDAL. If governmental, express surprise that people are surprised. If sexual, declare it a distraction, but seek out the details. SEMINAL. Be sure to use in a review of a woman’s work. Proclaim your innocence after. SMART. Any essay that confirms your prejudices. STRIKE. Always “surgical.” (See EGGS.) SUNSET. Beautiful. Like a painting. Post on Instagram and hashtag #nofilter. TELEVISION. Much improved. Better than novels. If someone says The Wire, say The Sopranos, or vice versa. TOUR DE FORCE. A film longer than two and a half hours and not in English. VALUES. “We must do whatever it takes to preserve our values.” Said as a prelude to destroying them. VIRGINITY. An obsession in Iran and in the olive oil industry. It can be lost, like a wallet. YEATS. Author of two quotations. ŽIŽEK. Observe he’s made some good points, but.

Known & Strange Things: Essays // Teju Cole