“What the HELL were YOU thinking?” Clarke’s voice echoed through the room as Lexa attentions were still fully concentrated on locking the door “What were you even…” the blonde continued, but this time the commander stared at her for some eternal seconds before answering. Her eyes were as cold as her voice, as harsh as her tone “I saved you, Clarke. You and your people. I don’t really see how you can complain, after…” and in that moment Clarke’s words cut off hers, possibly in the roughest way “You…” she started taking a step closer “Raven almost died! And Octavia… she could have ended up with…” she continued moving her body imperceptibly towards the other woman.
Lexa raised her eyebrows, and Clarke felt almost frightened from her icy gaze. Almost. After that, the Commander’s soft voice reached her ears “Success stands on the back of sacrifice, Clarke.” and after a moment of hesitation her tone became stronger and angrier, and, Clarke had to admit to herself, sexier. Her green eyes stared at her and Clarke felt so small, so powerless. It was the Commander of the Canadian Private Service she was speaking to, it was one of the most powerful people she had ever met, not just a random girl and it was difficult not to feel inferior in her presence.
She was so strong. And fearless. And brave. And beautiful, so beautiful that Clarke almost got distracted and almost didn’t catch her following words. Almost. “Even YOU should know that by NOW, Clarke.”
After that, Clarke almost felt the urge to laugh hysterically, energetically, but she fought that, and with her most serious tone she hissed “I DO know, Commander. But what you’ve done today…” “What your fellow companions were willing to do, willing to risk…” the brunette continued for her, never avoiding the blondie’s raged eyes.
“Don’t go there” Clarke warned her, but Lexa needed far more than that to be intimidated “I know that those kinds of choices haunt you, Clarke. But you need to learn how…” “I don’t want to learn how to live with that, Lexa!” she cried, calling the other with her name for the first time in a long, very long, time. In that moment Lexa made a smiled that was half exasperated, half amused and her voice reflected that “You’re not above it all, Clarke!” she exclaimed “You are just like us, stop pretending otherwise” she continued irritated, and the blonde looked at her with a gaze that almost showed… disgust.
After that, Clarke stayed silent for a couple of seconds, allowing her anger to full her before continuing “We are not like you. WE don’t work like that, we… we have a moral! We perform our duties, we serve our country WITHOUT causing irremediable damage, WITHOUT…” “Really Clarke?” Lexa whispered almost offended “Really?” she repeated with a smirk. “Really” Clarke confirmed “I genuinely don’t understand how you can justify it, in your heart, in your… soul! These… terrible… shortcuts! You’re a curse, you’re… an abomination!” and after that, she looked away, in a motion of angry discontent but Lexa rolled her eyes exasperated before forcing the other one to look at her, then she grumbled “You know what, Clarke? Our job requires our hands to be drenched in blood” and saying that she took a step closer, forcing Clarke to take a step back and after that, she continued “And you know it, you’ve always known it. You…” she stopped for a moment, mad at the hypocrites the blondie was showing, then she went on “You, who have led so many to their destruction know it, you… the one that killed her own boyfriend with bare hands, you…” and in that instant, Clarke’s arms reached Lexa’s shoulders in a desperate movement. Not that Clarke accepted that “Don’t you dare! I warn you!” she cried “Don’t you…” And Lexa’s hands responded that frontal attack reaching Clarke’s neck, pulling it closer “You killed him” she started “You killed him, without hesitation because you knew that what we do is far more important than a couple of human lives, you did that even if it was an impossible choice for anyone, and you did that because you knew that it was the right call.” “Don’t you dare!” Clarke responded trying to free herself from that twisted embrace “Don’t…” she continued but the only result was that Lexa tightened her grab “You are no better than me, Clarke” she said seriously, but after a moment her tone became more kind “This is what we both are, my love” she whispered with a small smile. Then she continued, “You can’t run away from who you are. From what we both are”. In that moment Lexa suddenly felt Clarke’s body shaking under her pressure, but still didn’t let her go, no matter how many tears Clarke was starting to spill in that moment.
“I was 18” Clarke began “I was 18, and he was my first love!” she cried desperately “And what I did to him it almost destroyed me! It surely changed me and completely broke me. I was 18! And I loved him!”
Lexa nodded and tried to reassure her, or at least this was what she was trying to do “I know, Clarke. I was there, and I respected and supported your choice.” “You did more than that” Clarke replied, with a calmer tone this time, “You encouraged that choice… And you helped me… And I hated you for that…” “And I let you,” Lexa whispered doing something that Clarke had never expected her to do. She hugged her, trying to calm her down “It was the only reasonable choice, Clarke” she whispered again “It was needed, Clarke, and you know it, as it could have been needed today, as it could be needed in the future” “Shut up… Just shut up…” Clarke repeated “Just…” “Clarke…” Lexa called her again, kissing her forehead in an infinite moment of peace and sweetness “You did the right call back then. You did what I would have done and what I pray I will never have to do.” Lexa separated from her and moved her head near Clarke’s, staring at her, her beautiful, deep, green eyes. Clarke tried to control herself, but then those words escaped her mouth regardless. “I hate you, I detest you.” “No you don’t, you never have and you never will.” Lexa said shaking her head in a sweet movement, and after that, she kept staring at Clarke’s mouth without saying a further word, and the blonde noticed that and reacted accordingly “You would not dare” she warned her, and this caused the brunette to smirk evidently “You’re right, Clarke. I wouldn’t. And I won’t” and then she paused for a moment before continuing “I won’t because you will.”
Clarke rolled her eyes before saying “You’re such an arrogant, superb, petulant, irritating… pain in the ass.” “I love you, t…” Lexa started, but Clarke cut her off by kissing her roughly “Shut up Commander” she said pushing the other to the wall and reaching under her shirt impatiently “Just shut up.”
(Kind of) and my name change got approved so I’m going to renew my license on Tuesday with my legal name cause it’s up for renewal that day anyway lol. Sooooo since I have to do boring things on my bday I love bday asks and love to hear from my followers cause I love you all and appreciate you all very much. ❤
Do you ever look at your follower count and question it? Because I do. I really do. All the time. Like what the hell are you doing here and why here?
I feel like I can relate to my followers so much because we make poor life decisions: I made this blog and shitposts/memes, and you guys chose to follow me. This blog isn’t even a year old yet and some of you refer to me as one of the dr fandom’s “senpai” and I’m just?? So flattered??? I’M BLUSHING
And let’s not forget the probably the best nickname I have ever received in my whole life, “fanfic mom” which never fails to bring a smile to my face. Seriously, this is just the sweetest and most pure thing and I LOVE ALL MY FANFIC READER CHILDREN OKAY. EVERYONE.
I honestly have the nicest followers? This is all so strange for me and I still find it so hard to believe most of the time?? Like I can count the anon hate I’ve received on just one hand and I don’t have enough hands to count the love I got on and off-anon!! It’s just all so surreal. How is everyone so nice to me? And how are a lot of you so supportive?? Just why???
But also, THANK YOU. I have never felt this appreciated online before and I’ve talked and bonded with a lot of you. I’ve even made a bunch of friends and I’d be happy to make some more by fangirling over dr and whatnot (hello there. yes, you. i’m talking about you. talk to me. i swear i’m not that intimidating.)
Here’s a shoutout to a bunch of wonderful people whom I deeply love and appreciate with all my heart.
I’m pretty sure I missed out on more than a few but I don’t think I can fit EVERYONE here because honestly I love my followers so much and those that I follow, mutual or not! Have I ever told you that yet? It’s true. It’s absolutely true. You are all precious and YOU give me HOPE.
Thank you to everyone who has made this tumblr experience so much fun!
And with that, I’m also going on a following spree sometime this week and the next. I’ll do it as soon as I go back to my hometown for the holidays and get unlimited internet access. And also cats. I missed my cats so much.
Feel free to drop by an ask or chat. Talk to me if you want or need to. Especially if you need to. You are important to me. Take care ‘cause I care, okay?
Happy Havoc Blogging!
Picture from DR Comic Anthology Vol1 - A Chance Meeting
for a sadness that comes a long way, his smile was inevitable.
For a long while ago we all sensed something’s odd with him, he barely smiled back then and had this faint happiness on his face all a long, yet today our precious sunshine took the courage to open up and remove that huge burden off his chest, telling us how he suffered silently after his grandma passed away on the 4th of September, crying brokenly for the sadness inside him. KIM TAEHYUNG, i’m so proud of you sweetheart for going through those hard times and managing to put a smile on our faces when you, yourself needed comfort and happiness more than anyone else. My heart aches so much to know about the hardships you went through, the pain you felt and never let out, i hope you never experience hard times again /knowing this is hard to have in life/ i hope nobody ever takes your happiness from you, i hope for more happy days to make there way through your life.
Thank you for being strong through your hard times, thank you for having the courage to let out all that burdens you, thank you for trusting us to reveal your weakness and vulnerabilities, thank you for asking us to keep your grandma in our memories cause you never ask that from anyone, lastly~~ thank you for being the one who you are, a true sunshine brightening up and spreading happiness and warmth. I love you, Kim taehyung, i really do. ❤️
this is just a little fluffy Joe imagine that I thought of since my friend just had a baby. I hope you all enjoy!
Word Count: 1,250+
You were curled up against Joe’s chest when you felt his phone vibrate. You had always been a light sleeper in comparison to Joe, so it didn’t surprise you that he barely even twitched. Reaching over him, you grabbed the phone, a bit worried to see Zoe’s picture on the screen, considering it was so late in the night. You swiped it open, answering her call.
“Hey Zoe, alright?” Your voice was low and groggy, but it was enough to make Joe stir. He peaked an eye open at you, confused.
“More than alright. My water broke, we’re headed to the hospital! Today’s the day!” She sounded wide awake and more excited than you’d ever heard her. You sat straight up in bed.
“You’re being serious? Oh my god! Oh my god. Okay, okay, um have Alf text us the room number when you get settled and we’ll be there as soon as we can! Hang in there!” You hung up the phone, practically jumping onto Joe. You almost over do it, and he catches your hips, his hands sliding under your- well, his- shirt onto your hips.
“Joe, we gotta get up, Zoe just went into labor!”
“So you wake me up and straddle me, and then you tell me to get out of bed. How is that fair?” Joe groaned.
Wow!!! We hit 11k today! Thank you all so much! We’re all super appreciative. I honestly never even considered 10k. I told my roomies, who are now the two other mods, that I’d upload a video of me playing History Maker on guitar if I ever achieved 10k. That’s how impossible it seemed to me, back in October when we got our first thousand.
You guys are all so amazing. I still can’t believe some of you guys have made art related to this silly blog. You’re all just so lovely and talented. I love Yuri on Ice so much and I’m so happy to be able to share that love with all of you.
I’ll spare you my bad guitar playing, but if we get 15k, I’m considering a Yuri on Ice tattoo…
My dearest friend Gio @alifetimeaheadtoprovethat who is the most caring and dear friend in the world and indulges in my madness made this thing for me cause I wanted something to praise @misocrickette for her wonderful fic Shutter Release, part of a series I hope to keep reading about.
After John is invalided home from the war, he decides to change his career. While working as a forensic photographer, he meets Sherlock Holmes- The world’s only consulting detective.
Seriously, go read this perfect jewel of a fic and also LOOK AT WHAT MY FRIEND DID
This Valentine’s Day I’d like to share a few things with you. I’m 19 years old and:
I have never had sex in my life
I have never dated anyone in real life (so not on the Internet)
I have never kissed anyone
I have never been on a date
I have never even held hands with someone romantically
I literally have never even been close to dating anyone in real life
Not because I don’t want to or because I’m picky. Because no one has ever asked me out or showed affection for me or even flirted with me. I don’t think anyone irl has ever fancied me, or if they did they never let me know in any way.
And you know what? I don’t care. I moved on from feeling abnormal and broken and not whole. I refuse to connect my value as a person to those things. I will not allow myself to think of myself as less because I have never done any of those things. Yes maybe my self-esteem still relies on my uni grades or good reviews of my works but I finally stopped thinking that there is something wrong with me for not experiencing those things.
I feel happy and whole anyway. I survived every crush who didn’t return my feelings and every instance of being attracted to someone and knowing they do not like me back. I survived and moved on.
And today I’d like you to turn to things you really value in your life. Your jobs and talents and hobbies and passions. Your family and friends and pets and even house plants. Your favorite books and bands and TV-shows and video games. Your favorite ice-cream and favorite pair of jeans and favorite plush toys.
There are so many people and things you love. There are, I hope, things that make you happy. Focus on them. And screw the society that tells you that you need relationships to know that you are loved. You are already loved. Don’t let society ever persuade you otherwise.