'HEY EREN CAN I TALK TO YOU'

Autocorrect
  • Eren: Hey Leviathan! I just got a new phone! Now we can text everyone in the Legion!
  • Levi: Wren...you spelled my name wrong.
  • Eren: What are you talking about? If anything, my name is wrong -ah, sorry Leviathan.
  • Levi: You did it again!
  • Petra: Guys? Please stop fighting.
  • Armin: Yeah, Petroleum is right!
  • Eren: Admin, stay outta this.
  • *long awkward silence follows*
  • Jean: My name is John.
  • Jean: DAMN AUTOCARROT
Day 24 - Plot of Your Favorite Movie

Pairings: Eren/Mikasa & Levi/Hanji, Shingeki no Kyojin

Words: 11946

Rating: T (Language)

Inspired By: Welcome to Jurassic Park, Theme from Jurassic Park, A Tree For My Bed (Jurassic Park Soundtrack)

Notes: I have far too many favorite movies to actually have one be all end all movie but Jurassic Park comes pretty close. It’s a movie I’ve loved since I was seven years old and that will never change. I cried when I watched Jurassic World in theatres because it was everything I loved about the first movie. That was where this story came from too! As I was walking into the theatre I was thinking about this prompt in particular and thought it might work. And then I saw an image of Levi stuck in the park with two terrified and slightly lovestruck teenagers like I didn’t sign up for this but if you think they’re getting a scratch on them you’ve got another thing coming. I couldn’t resist. I also had to bypass some of the science stuff to make it less tedious to explain but I figure most everyone knows how it works lol Also please forgive my dinosaur knowledge. I tried to be as accurate as I could but I don’t have any access to scientific case reports, just google ;-;

AO3 / FF.Net

Life Finds a Way

(Day 24 – Plot of Your Favorite Movie)

This was Hanji’s idea. Levi never wanted to step foot off their site cause they had, you know, a lot of damn work to do but she just wanted to go on some tropical vacation to an amusement park or wherever the hell they were going. Of course, not even he was dumb enough to pass up the grant that Dr. Jaeger promised when he showed up at the dig site for only one price; Levi and Hanji had to come put a stamp of approval on a park.

Levi never cared for theme parks, especially any dinosaur themed. They always catered to kids and spewed out false information to excite people more. He was a scientist; he didn’t spend all those years in school to entertain children who wanted pet a dinosaur or whatever.

This wasn’t any park though. There were real dinosaurs here.

Levi couldn’t believe his eyes when he stepped out of that Jeep. He could hardly believe the way the ground shook, the way he heard their calls in his ears. How could this actually be a thing? How could they be real? How how how…

Even going through the labs, seeing the babies hatch, being told this was rea,  that Dr. Grisha Jaeger and his scientists brought back dinosaurs, and seeing it with Levi’s own eyes, he still couldn’t believe it. Hanji was much more apt to buy into everything and ask a million questions at the labs that nearly made them miss lunch. He dragged her away after that.

He was told it was DNA, he was told they were only girls to be able to control population; he was told everything was safe. He was told him and Hanji were here to make sure everything looked and felt as accurate as it could. Levi couldn’t lie, it did look and feel so real that he wasn’t sure what to believe but the scientifically sound facts laid out in front of him.

These were real dinosaurs.

Keep reading

mkc1104  asked:

Hey Dad! Haven't been really asking but, what would Eren and Annie do if they couldn't sleep at night? And can they give me a pep talk about being up and happy? (<-- Ignore this if you want) Thanks dad! :)

Eren tends to sneak into either Armins or Jeans bed. He sleeps better when someone is close. Eren would cuddle all night and calm down at other peoples breathing. Annie usually has sleeping problems. She tends to sit up and cry sometimes. She doesn’t really know what else to do. After she calmed down she tries to go on 

I am sorry, but I can’t do pep talks as other Characters than Levi. Please understand. It’s hard for me to tell you people something while portraying a character I don’t feel enough. I feel like lying to you than and I can’t do that. I am very very sorry

ghostofsouls  asked:

Hey,do you think Eren Kruger could be from Fritz/Reiss bloodline?

I don’t think it’s likely, but there’s nothing I can point to that would definitively disprove it. 

Dina was presented as the last surviving member of the Fritz family. According to Kruger’s own words, all remaining royals were burned alive. Interestingly, while he’s talking about this, he’s shown hiding in a closet. Since he was an eye witness to the royals being burned alive, it’s clear he was closely connected with them.

In the panel above, his father is mentioned as joining the royal family, but the wording is vague enough that I could see someone arguing he could possibly be a royal as well.

Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou ch. 13

-Sideline: Make sure to read “The Manga Scene” two pages back!-

Flyer: The 104th Athletic Tournament Folk Dance Memo:
The Athletic Tournament will decide the outcome of the Folk Dance again this year. All students, please make the following preparations by the appointed date:
- Decide with whom you will dance (partner)
- During the ceremony, no…

Krista: Annie!

Krista: Oh, that’s the Folk Dance Flyer, right? I was going to invite you to join us for lunch, but I guess you’re busy…
Annie: Ah, sorry. I’m going over to Class 4’s for a bit…

Krista: Aww, that’s too bad… Oh!

Krista: You’re going to have that conversation~ Uhuhuhuhuhu
Annie: H-Hey, what’s with that laugh…

Annie: Ssshhhhh… Keep this a secret from everyone…
Krista: Gotcha!

Krista: Ymir! Hey listen listen! Annie is going over to Eren and, y’know…
Annie: EH, WAIT A SEC! DIDN’T YOU UNDERSTAND MY SIGNAL JUST NOW?!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

eremika obvi (parent au: thing)

Who cried when they brought their child home for the first time:

Are you fucking kidding they were both a bawling blubbering mess of feels and gratitude

Who would wake up in the middle of the night to check on the kid(s):

I see them both being protective parents, but Mikasa is more easily concerned that Eren is. She’d jump out of bed and run to them in .2 seconds of they so much as  yawned over that damn baby monitor.

Who changes the kid(s) diapers:

They equally share the burden of the less pleasant aspects to parenting

Who makes the bottles:

They both do

Who stays up late at night to rock the kid(s) to sleep and sing them lullabys:

Eren. Mikasa can sing too but, she likes to watch how gentle Eren is and how smooth his voice can be when he’s with their kids.

Who is guilty of spoiling the kid(s):

Eren doesn’t know the meaning of the the word ‘no’. It’s either “hell yeah!”’ or “idk honey, ask your mom”

Who would give the kid(s) cookies in the middle of the night:

Eren, epecilly if they were upset.

Who always takes the kid(s) side:

It depends. If it’s something petty like them wanting a new toy, I could see either of them supporting the kid (mostly eren though), but if they’re being bratty or mouthy to one parent, the other would be like “hey you don’t talk to your mother/your father like that”

Who would wake up early to make breakfast for the kid(s) before school:

I have this headcanon that Mikasa loves to cook and make all these recipes that her mom and Carla used to make for her, and she does it really well.

Who gets the kid(s) ready for school in the morning:

Mikasa. Mikasa sometimes even has to dump water on Eren to get his ass out of bed in the morning. ERen isn’t a morning person.

Who takes the kid(s) to school:

Eren

Who goes to parent teacher conferences:

Eren goes to everything involving the kid’s school lives. And he quickly gets himself labeled as the bitchy problematic parent at his tendency to blow up at every school official and PTA parent when they’re acting unfair to his kids.

Who will be the first to suggest to have ‘the talk’ with the kid(s):

Mikasa because she remembers how horny their teenage years were.

Who would choose their child(s) prom outfit:

That would be the biggest fucking family event. They’ed all go together and both of them would cry at how beautiful their kids are

Who would cry when the kid(s) go off to college:

They’d both be an emotional wreck

anonymous asked:

Hi there, I really love this Tumblr. I was wondering if you were going to do analyses of Levi x Mikasa for chapters 71-74? Thanks. Cheers, C.

Hey, thanks a lot for the compliment! Unfortunately there wasn’t much interaction between them these last few chapters, but we’ve seen some developments, especially during chapter 72.

Can we talk about Mikasa not minding if Levi gives Eren a beating or two?! 

(Yes, this time he started it, but…) 

It could mean the following: 1. Mikasa’s more mature and less protective over Eren and 2. Mikasa didn’t feel like confronting Levi about beating Eren up again because he’s right and 3. Mikasa trusts Levi to discipline Eren and the others.

There are a few more things to note in this chapter, but I’ll probably wait for more chapters to come out so we have more rivamika material to comment on.

Armin's First Time

This request comes from @brookiebrockbrick.


Script:

There’s no fuckin’ way.

I’m dead serious, not once.

How is that possible? Everyone does it.

Not Armin. Not unless he does it in the privacy of his own room, and very quietly.

He had to have tried it. Everyone does at some point in their lives.

I promise you, he hasn’t. We’ve talked about it a few times. He just doesn’t feel the need to.

I can’t imagine my life without it…

Yeah, me either. Shit- he’s coming. I bet I can get him to do it right now. U-uh hey, Armin, what’s up?

Nothing much, just got back from the store. Why do you have that look on your face? What did you do, Eren?

Uh…Armin…I’m really sorry but…when I did laundry this morning…I forgot to separate my clothes…

Wh- How can you…it…EREN, IT’S SO SIMPLE. LIGHTS, AND DARKS, *menacing* lights…and darks…you f-f-fucking idiot.

Holy shit

Do You Wanna Slay Some Titans? (Do You Wanna Build A Snowman Parody)

(From Mikasa’s POV)

Eren?

Do you wanna kill some Titans?
C'mon let’s kill them all.
You don’t see Armin anymore,
And Jean’s a bore,
Your mind has gone astray.

We looked out for each other,
But now you’re gone,
Please just tell me why!

Do you wanna slay some Titans?
You can do it as a Titan. (NOT NOW, MIKASA)
Okay, bye…

(From Armin’s POV)

Eren?

Do you wanna kill some Titans?
Or steal some food from Sasha’s haul?
I think some company is overdue,
I’ve started talking to the Titans in the wall! (please don’t eat me!)

It gets a little lonely,
Out there on my own,
Watching the scouts all die.

(Instrumental bit, insert sad bits from Eren’s youth)

(Jean’s POV)

Eren?

Hey jerk, I know you’re in there.
Your boyfriend’s asking where you’ve been.
Marco’s gone and trying to
Make some peace with you,
Just let me in.

At least you have your buddies,
I’ve no one now.
What am I gonna do?

Do you wanna slay some Titans?

Voicemail

cinnamonskull Your comment about Levi and Farlan leaving on tour inspired me, and I wanted to try a slightly different style, so here’s this.


You have 1 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“It’s Levi. We’re in England now, and Mike keeps pissing Farlan off by saying we’ve found his people only to get a rant about the difference between England and Scotland. At least they know how to make tea. Call me later, right?”

End of message. To delete this message, press 1. To save it, press 2-

Message erased.

-

You have 1 unheard message

First unheard message.

“It’s Levi. We’re in London now, and getting ready for the show. You’re probably at work, so call me when you get this.”

End of message. To delete this message, press 1. To-

Message erased.

-

You have 1 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“It’s Levi again. We’re in Spain now, we’ll be here a few weeks. Call me back.”

End of message. To-

Message erased.

-

You have 1 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“Hey Is, it’s Farlan. Please, here me out. I know you’re mad, but you should be mad at me not Levi. I asked him not to tell you. So, would you just call him back? He won’t say anything but he’s upset and… I- It’s not fair to take this out on him okay? Be mad at me all you want but call him please?”

End of message.

Message erased.

-

-

You have 2 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“Hey Is, it’s Farlan again, please just call Levi? He misses you. … I miss you. I hope you’re doing okay.”

End of message.

Message erased.

Second unheard message.

“Hey Izzy, it’s Mike. Hanji said you spoke to them about not wanting to talk to Levi or Farlan. I’ll try to distract them for you. You and Eren take care of each other, I know what idiots these two can be.”

End of message. To delete this message press 1. To save it press 2.

Message saved.

-

You have 1 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“Hey Izzy! It’s Hanji! I’m just checking in to make sure you’re okay, since I haven’t heard about you in awhile! It’s kinda weird. Anyway, like I said, just checking in, talk to you later!”

End of message. To de-

Message erased.

-

You have 1 unheard message.

First unheard message.

“Hey Isabel. Thanks for calling Levi. He looks so much happier, everyone can tell. … … So, I’ll let you go now. Thanks again. We’re in France now, not sure anyone told you. It’s weird hearing Levi speak French, he’s just so good at it. I’ll record- I’ll have Mike record it for you. Bye.”

End of message. To delete-

Message erased.

Internet Friends

Pairing: Eren / Mikasa
Rating: K+ (Light cursing)
Genre: Fluff
Length: 1199 words
Notes: Another birthday present wooo! It seems like thats all I write wow. Anyways, happy birthday thatguy8801! Also, thank you to mikasa-ackernam for giving me amazing ideas for this. Also, forgive me if the german isn’t right, and feel free to correct me! I hope you guys like it!


She had been wanting to ask for it for a little while now.

Mikasa had been talking to Eren for quite some time, and they were great friends, they talked almost every day.

There was one problem though: they had never met in person.

Keep reading

There’s so much people who talk so much crap about Armin, and I look at them, and I’m just like: “And what have you done in your life that’s helpful to humanity?”

Those people see Armin Arlert as just a fictional character, but I actually see him as a hero.

“Armin is so weak.” “Why is he in the Survey Corps anyways?” “He’s such a girl.” “Why did Eren die for such a worthless character?”

No, you sit down, and let me tell you a fucking story. The reason why most of the characters are alive is because of him. Who came up with the idea of using Eren as a way to save the other cadets? Armin Fucking Arlert is who. Who found out that Annie was the Female Titan? God? Yes, because that’s what Armin is.

Yes, Armin isn’t the strongest, did he give up? No? He still kept running.

And to all the people who keep complaining on why Eren gave up his life for him, screw you. It’s called friendship.

After reading this, I hope you can remember next time before you talk shit about an anime character, think: “Hey, they’re better than me because I can’t do anything like that.”

Thank you, and thank you to Isayama for creating such a inspirational, and God -like character.

so i think i’ve gotten 30 minutes of sleep, but this shit woke me up and wouldn’t let me go back to sleep until i wrote it. take it or leave it.

Levi yawned and started to close his eyes to go to sleep before an equally sleepy voice interrupted him.

“Hey, Levi.”

“Yeah?”

He opened his eyes enough to peer at the brunette lying next to him. Eren’s hair was a mess and his stupidly big, green eyes watered as he yawned.

“Lets get married and have kids.”

Levi snorted, “I think you’re forgetting that we both have penises.”

Eren rolled his eyes and playfully nudged one of Levi’s feet with his own, “You know what I mean. We can adopt. Get a big house, maybe a puppy, and a nice car.”

Levi watched Eren’s face brighten up as he talked about their possible future. All Levi could think about was how in the hell could those eyes sparkle like the sea. They were lulling him to sleep when Eren spoke up again.

“Hey, Levi. Lets stay like this forever.”

Levi wasn’t sure what woke him up. Maybe it was his own quiet sobs or the fact that his pillow was soaking wet and sticking to his face. Or maybe it was some cruel joke from the universe that wanted to remind him that it’s already been six months since Eren’s funeral and Levi is still seeing him in his dreams. 

It had to be some sick, twisted joke.

Every time Levi falls asleep that scene replays in his dreams, because it was the last time he held Eren in his arms and teased him that they didn’t need a puppy due to the fact that Levi already had one right here in human form. 

All waking up did was remind Levi that he would rather be in a coma than be a functioning part of society, because at least in his dreams he could have the one thing that ever made him happy. It was the only place he would ever see Eren smile again and it wasn’t fucking fair. 

Reality is a sick joke.

Attack on Titan is a TV show AU and this is the behind the scenes

“Hey, Jean’s sick? That’s cool, look I’ll be Jean!”

“Take off that horse mask, you look ridiculous.”

“So I can play Jean then?” 

“Armin? Armin? Guys, has anyone seen Armin, we’re shooting his almost-death scene!”

“Dude, you tell me! I’m looking for Eren, where has that little shit gotten to? It’s his goddamn ‘death’ scene too.”

“Guys, guys look what Annie’s doing, look, look she’s beating Reiner at arm-wrestling, hahah!”

“Where the hell is Sasha?”

“Did you check the buffet table? Because she usually hovers around there with Connie. Or they’re causing mischief on the set. You know what I found mashed inside the camera cap? Yeah, a fucking potato.”

“Someone sit Levi down, for god’s sake, we need to apply his makeup. Every fangirl out there can’t wait to see his dark, mysterious and brooding eyes and if he doesn’t sit down, we’re not gonna have time!”

“Hanji-Hanji wake up! Get up, you’re sleeping on a prop.”

“…..”

“Oh my god, you were cuddling our Colossal Titan prop, you’re such a weirdo.”

“Erwin? Erwin! Get your ass out of the men’s room!”

“I’m an old man, indulge me.”

“He’s trying to shit and the shit won’t come out.”

“Already in character, eh, Levi?”

“Shut up, you dick.”

“You make such a great Levi.”

“Holy shit, that prop scared the shit out of me!”

“I know right? It looks so legit! I’m scared, man…. Imagine how shitty living in Wall Maria was… gosh.”

“Hey Sasha, here you go! Your best friend!”

“Oh bite me, Jean, take back your stinking potato!”

“Ha ha ha, my name is Jean Kirschtein and this is Jackass.”

“You horsefucker!”

“Oh shit! Eren, Eren, Eren hey, you can’t kill me, not before I get to die on screen, oh god stop- oh thank god, it’s Mikasa. Mikasa protect me!”

“Aww, look how cute Mikasa and Annie are. Poor little girls, they’re pooped.”

“Of course they are, they spent all day jumping and rolling and doing all manners of stunts. Oh my god, look how they’re cuddling, how sweet!”

“Armin, focus! Stop taking selfies! You’re gonna spoil this episode for our viewers!”

“Oh my god, stop making out and posting it on Twitter, Ereri is NOT becoming canon, stop teasing the fangirls, Eren!”

“Marco, you scared the shit out of me! Geez…”

“Sorry, Jean, I thought  you’d think it was funny…”

“Your death scene is not funny…”

“Yo, Petra, check out the right side of my face…”

“Gah, this makeup blood is grossss, it’s sticky and smells weird. At least there’s no blood on you!”

“Hey, speak for yourself, I’m walking around with it in my mouth." 

"Ha, ask Franz how he feels, guys! You got off easy…”

“Or ask Carla!”

“….. TOO FAR." 

——————————————————————————————

Blooper Reel

Eren: 

"If you die, you lose! Duh, Mikasa, you dumb bitch! Wait, wait, is that my line?" 

"Oh crap, what was my line again?" 

"Levi-senpai!”

“Don’t drop that durka durk- hey Jean if you throw one more shoe I’m gonna beat you, just freaking beat you." 

"Armin… marry me! What are you talking about, that’s totally the line!”

“Sorry Mikasa, I only kill freestyle!" 

"On that day, humanity received a grim reminder. We lived in fear of these- Bertholdt, stop twerking up there or I’ll come up and push you off. Mr. Colossal Titan- oops, spoiler." 

Levi: 

"The difference in judgement between you and me originates from different rules derived from past experience. I’m basically saying you’re a little bitch.”

“All we can hope is that we made the right ones…. you done fucked up, Eren.”

“Hey Erwin. You enjoying writing your signature? You should really savor that, you know. Also eating without looking like a total retard or spaz…”

“They see me rolling! They hating!" 

"You spin me right round, baby, right rouuuund like a record baby, right round…" 

Mikasa:

"The world is a cruel place but it’s also…also… a line. I have a line here, I just know it!”

“Ah, shit! I just killed a Titan, yo, I’d like to see our so-called-protagonist Eren do the same! Any time now, Jaeger!”

“Dah dah dah dah dah dah duh duh dah dah duh duh duh JAEGER!”

“Eren! Eren! Eren! Is that enough? No, damn all my lines consist of Eren! Eren! Eren! Mikasa!" 

"Yo horse boy, just how much of you is a horse exactly?" 

Jean: 

"Ereeeeeeeen. I know your sister turns everyone on!" 

"Marcooooooooo. You half to come back to me before my heart splits in half, oh god, I’m such a monster." 

"Your hair is beautiful. I’m so horny. I’m so sorry, Mikasa.”

Connie: What did you wipe on my back? 

“……. my faith in huma- HAHAHAHA omg, I can’t say this, I’m tweeting this, gimme your phone…" 

"Marco… I can’t even tell… which bones are your- Marco, stop it! Director, tell him to stop making goofy faces at me from over there! This is serious, damnit!" 

Armin: 

"I don’t think anyone is good for everyone. Except me. I’m good for everyone. I’m also available, ladies." 

"Don’t watch it. Nothing good can come from anything with the word ‘Boku in it.' 

"Chocolate!" 

”People, who can’t throw something important away, can never hope to change anything. So Eren, you can throw away that tooth Levi  knocked out of  your face, because honestly that’s creepy!“ 

"I’m cute as heck, why the hell would you wanna eat me?”

“Poor Eren, thanks so much, I didn’t feel like getting eaten by Santa Claus today, byeeee, see ya later." 

"Right as Eren falls into the Titan’s mouth, I snapped a picture and posted it on Facebook "lol dying, later world!” and I’m posting it on his timeline, give me a sec…“

"Yo horsey, come here, this is for Instagram, we’re gonna play some gay chicken!" 

Erwin:

"I’m sorry, that was a strange thing to say…. Wanna get even stranger?" 

"ONWARD MY BITCHES!" 

"You are all my bitches now!”

“Welcome to candy land!" 

"You’re all gonna die, but it’s cool because you offer up your hearts!" 

"I can guarentee that if you’re an extra, you will die, so main characters only can join the Survey Corps!”

Hanji: 

“Oh my god, Titans, man. They turn me on." 

"Jizz in my pants… wait, can girls say that?" 

"That’s what she… he… it said. That’s what it said! Wait, Titans can’t talk…" 

"titans don’t defecate… geez, Levi, why so obsessed with poop? I bet you liked 'Two girls, one cup!’”

“Levi’s a little nympho, I called it!”

“Levi, selfie time! Erwin get your ass over here! Smile! Or Levi’s approximation of one." 

"Omg, marry me Sawney!" 

Connie: 

"I don’t know what’s going on…. does anyone know? Does anyone know? Seriously, get me one person who knows what the hell is going on, ever!" 

"I’m gonna spank you lat- bwahaha, can’t say that line with a straight face.”

“Armin, I’ll be your Mario, leap into my arms, Peach!" 

Sasha:

"Are you asking me why people eat potatoes? Oh snap, Sasha out!" 

 

Little Red Riding Marco - Part 2

by zombiesandporn

Rating: T (for language)

note: zombiesandporn wrote a wonderful continuation fic based on Little Red Riding Marco by HDoofus.  I’m really grateful people like this AU a lot and for all of the lovely art and fics!

—————————————-

Jean and Marco had gotten incredibly close while in college. But the years pass. The spring semester was ending. And Marco was getting ready to graduate. He had even landed an internship. That’s all good right?  Well, unfortunately, that internship required him to move halfway across the country. 

Keep reading

Chapter 67
  • (My computer crashed TWICE while writing this chapter.... ugh.)
  • (INT: the half-destroyed crystal cave.)
  • Eren: Unnnngghhh
  • Mikasa: EREN! Can you hear me?
  • Eren: Huh? What happened?
  • Jean: You finally managed to get hard!
  • Eren: I- what?
  • Connie: You got SO HARD and it was EPIC!
  • Sasha: Yeah, and none of us thought you'd be able to get hard like that, but you did! There must've been something in that bottle...
  • Eren: *turns pink*
  • Levi: And it's not going away, either. It's still hard.
  • Mikasa: Aren't you supposed to call a doctor if it doesn't go away after 4 hours or something?
  • Eren: *crosses his legs* Guys... can you not...
  • Levi: Anyway, Eren, now that we know you can get hard, your next objective will be to use that hardness to fill up Maria's massive hole with all those stringy white tendrils that came out of it.
  • Connie: *snickering* Yeah, Eren... plug up that hole REAL NICE AND TIGHT...
  • Eren: *completely red* GUYS. SHUT UP. IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS VIAGRA BEFOREHAND I WOULDN'T HAVE DRANK IT. YOU CAN STOP TALKING ABOUT MY-
  • Eren: *looks up to see his crystallized Titan form holding the cave together*
  • Eren: OH.
  • Eren: So *that's* what you guys meant...
  • Levi: Why? What *else* could we have *possibly* been talking about?
  • Eren: ...never mind.
  • Levi: Well, now we know that the Titan powers can be transferred through serums...
  • Historia: Hey guys! I found the Titan serum bag!
  • Everyone else: *descends on Historia like a flock of vultures*
  • Sasha: Dibs on the gummy bear Titan!
  • Mikasa: A Titan with superior battle skill...
  • Connie: And GIANT FREAKING EPIC TEETH!
  • Jean: I BET I CAN GET HARDER THAN YOU, EREN!
  • Levi: THIS IS IT. MY CHANCE TO BE TALL.
  • Historia: And... it's empty.
  • Everyone else: AWWWW FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK
  • Armin: Hey guys! You okay?
  • Mikasa: Armin! You're alive!
  • Armin: Yeah. Thanks for noticing. Hange's fine, too.
  • Mikasa: But... *how*? Hange was critically injured, the roof was caving in, Squad Kenny was heading towards you guys, and you wouldn't have been able to lift her by yourself! It doesn't make sense!
  • Armin: Oh, some guy named Hajime Isayama gave us a lift.
  • Eren and co.: *climb out of the cave*
  • Eren: Is that... a giant rotisserie chicken?
  • Armin: *rolls eyes* Yes, of COURSE it's TOTALLY a chicken- IT'S A TITAN YOU IDIOT DID YOU GO BLIND IN THAT CAVE OR SOMETHING?!
  • Armin: And it doesn't seem interested in humans either...
  • Jean: Do you think it's an abnormal?
  • Historia: Yep. DEFINITELY an abnormal.
  • Levi: Hey guys, remember? We're the Survey Corps! This is what we do! FOLLOW THAT TITAN!
  • Later:
  • Hange: So basically, if you get the mind control powers, you get mind controlled yourself?
  • Historia: Yeah.
  • Hange: Sucks.
  • Lev: But if we can figure out a way to undo the brainwashing...
  • Eren: So does this mean I still get to commit suicide!?
  • Hitch: *random creepy smile*
  • Mikasa: *screaming internally*
  • Historia: *facepalms*
  • Historia: It's not that simple. The Reiss family has been trying to undo the First King's will for decades- it's just not working. In fact, when your father killed my sister, Eren...
  • Eren: Huh?
  • Historia: All along, he was trying to save humanity from the First King.
  • Eren: I don't follow.
  • Historia: Let me put it this way. THAT'S *jerks her thumb toward Titan!Rod* the Gendo Ikari of this manga. YOUR dad is Itachi Uchica.
  • Eren: Oh...
  • Eren: Wait a minute. You still read Naruto?!
  • Historia: NO.
  • Mikasa: *coughs* Historia's taste in manga aside, THAT must be why Dad gave you that key, Eren. There must be something in that basement that you could use to break the will of the First King.
  • Eren: And all this time.... I thought it was just his porno collection.
  • Eren: But... if I can use the Coordinate to its full extent... *sniffle* then does this mean... *sob* I'm still necessary?
  • Everyone: *gives Eren a massive bear hug*
  • Hange: I hate to interrupt the feels, but we still need to do something about that Titan.
  • Hange: Historia, in other words... you'll have to kill your father.
  • Historia: *gulp*
  • Eren: *bigger gulp*
  • Connie: *biggest gulp of all*
  • Historia: Eren... about that time in the cave...
  • Eren: Yeah?
  • Historia: ...I really was going to kill you.
  • Mikasa: GUESS WHO'S NOT GETTING SAVED NEXT TIME THERE'S A SURPRISE TITAN EXPLOSION. BITCH.
  • Historia: And not for the sake of humanity or anything noble like that... I just didn't want my father to hate me.
  • Historia: But then I realized... that even if the world hates me, I can still learn to love myself. That my life has *value*! That I want to be ME, Historia Reiss! And even if I wasn't supposed to be born, I want to continue existing in this world! My life is worth living!
  • Eren: Congratulations!
  • Mikasa: Congratulations!
  • Armin: Congratulations!
  • Hange: Congratulations!
  • Levi: Congratulations!
  • Jean: Congratulations!
  • Sasha: Congratulations!
  • Connie: Congratulations!
  • Frieda (in Eren's memories): Congratulations!
  • The ENTIRE DAMN FANBASE: Congratulations!
  • Titan!Rod: CONGRUDULUGHFKFVHSJIKSFHKFFDSUIADHD
  • (INT: Erwin's squad.)
  • Random guy: HEY ERWIN! WHY DOES YOUR ARM KEEEP GROWING BACK?
  • Erwin: IDK!
  • Squad Levi: *enters*
  • Erwin: LEVI!
  • Levi: ERWIN!
  • Eruri shippers: NOW KISS!
  • Levi: So, Erwin, how was your day?
  • Erwin: Oh, Darius Zackly has some... issues. How about you?
  • Levi: Got in a fight with my serial killer uncle, then Rod Reiss decided to serve Eren for dinner, Historia said fuck it, Rod got high, and long story short, we've got the largest Titan EVER recorded heading towards the inside of Wall Sina.
  • Erwin: So, same as usual?
  • Levi: Pretty much.
  • Erwin: Anyone get injured?
  • Levi: Only Hange.
  • Erwin: Oh. So no one important then.
  • Hange: HEY!
  • Levi: Anyway.... COORDINATE TESTING TAKE 1!
  • Eren: HEY ROD! YOU BASTARD! STOP THAT!
  • Levi: (aside) You know, if I'd known that you could LITERALLY ASK THE TITANS NICELY TO STOP, my life would've been a LOT simpler.
  • Titan!Rod: *continues doing nothing*
  • Eren: LISTEN TO ME YOU FUCKING MIDGET!
  • Historia: YEAH! LISTEN TO HIM!
  • Hange: ...It's not working.
  • Historia: AND I STILL WANT MY FISH BACK!
  • Levi: Eren, think. Did you do anything else that one time?
  • Eren: I... uh... kinda waved my arms around?
  • Levi: Okay then.
  • Eren: *waves his arms around*
  • Jean: Eren... why are you doing the chicken dance?
  • (INT: Sina border town of Olbd.)
  • Garrison dude: YOU MEAN THERE'S A GIANT FUCKING TITAN HEADED OUR WAY AND *WE CAN'T FUCKING EVACUATE*?!
  • Erwin: Isn't that the POINT of the border towns in the first place, though? To concentrate the Titans' attention into one area?
  • Garrison dude: Well, yes, but... CARE TO EXPLAIN *WHY* THERE'S A TITAN HEADED TOWARDS WALL SINA IN THE FUCKING *FIRST PLACE*? DID WALL ROSE GET BREACHED OVERNIGHT OR SOME SHIT?!
  • Erwin: That's ... uh... classified information.
  • Garrison dude: I'll *SHOW* YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR CLASSIFIED INFORMATION, MR. "I'M THE COMMANDER OF THE SURVEY CORPS AND I GIVE NO SHITS ABOUT ANYONE IF I CAN'T USE THEM FOR MY INCREDIBLY CONVOLUTED PLANS TO GET REVENGE AGAINST THE GOVERNMENT AND YOU CAN TELL I'M FUCKING RIGHT BECAUSE EYEBROWS."
  • Erwin: Uh... *turns towards the town square* NEVER FEAR, PEOPLE OF... of... what's this place called again?
  • Garrison dude: Olbd.
  • Erwin: And it's pronounced... how?
  • Garrison dude: *sigh* Just kinda impersonate a fish and you've got it.
  • Erwin: PEOPLE OF BLUBLBUBLUB! THERE MAY BE A COLOSSAL TITAN HEADING THIS WAY-
  • Random citizen #1: Wait, you mean THE Colossal Titan? The one that broke down Wall Maria five years ago?
  • Erwin: NO. ANOTHER ONE.
  • Random citizen #2: YOU MEAN THERE'S ANOTHER COLOSSAL TITAN?!
  • Erwin: WELL, YES, BUT FEAR NOT, FOR THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD SURVEY CORPS WILL DEFEND YOU!
  • Garrison dude: AND THE GARRISON!
  • Random citizen #3: Didn't the Survey Corps lose 90% of their members in four years?
  • Erwin: TECHNICALLY, YES. HOWEVER, WE'LL GET IT RIGHT. THIS TIME.
  • Unpronounceableville citizens: uhhhh...
  • Erwin: REALLY. THE WALL WILL NOT BREAK.
  • Random citizen #4: THE WALL ALREADY *DID* BREAK, DUMBASS! JUST LAST WEEK!
  • Erwin: THAT WAS A FALSE ALARM... never mind. I can't speechify for shit. Levi, wanna take over?
  • Levi: LIFE SUCKS AND THEN YOU DIE.
  • Later:
  • Levi: Historia! You're not supposed to be here! I *thought* I told you to stay out of this.
  • Historia: *hair flip* I have a score to settle.
  • Levi: No, you don't. Get back inside.
  • Historia: >:) Yes, I DO. After all, weren't you the one who told me to fight rather than run away, *Captain Levi*?
  • Levi: *sweats* No, no, no! I take it back. Running away is GREAT! I LOVE running!
  • Historia: Oh. So you're okay with letting all these people die then?
  • Levi: Well... fuck.
  • Levi: GUYS! IT'S COMING!
  • Garrison dude: OH MY GOD IT'S GODZILLA!
  • Historia: *cracks knuckles* HEY ROD! WHAT'S 1000-7?
  • Eren: Oh SHIT.
  • Mikasa: what?
  • Eren: Mikasa, have you seen my key?
  • Survey Corps: *collective facepalm*
  • END

Sometimes I like to think that Eren’s the too hyper and excited type that unintentionally interrupts people because he’s just so eager to talk about this thing that just popped into his head. 

Like, one day he’d be out with his friends maybe after college or something and Levi (who’s probably an upperclassman or something) joins them along with Hanji and Erwin. They’d be having a nice, happy conversation and Eren’s the only one completely oblivious to Levi’s flirtations towards him because the conversation constantly changes. Levi’s having a difficult time trying to get to know Eren and soon he becomes extremely irritated at Eren for always finding something else to talk about. So, he tries to just ask him out right away, but Eren never catches what he’s trying to say. 

“Oi, Eren, you wanna go-" 

"Oh! Look, our drinks are here!" 

"Eren…Can I have your-" 

"Wait, what, sorry, Levi. I just really love this song." 

"Hey, Eren, how about you and me go somewhere-" 

"So, did you guys hear about what happened to Jean? The asshole had it coming, right?!" 

Levi would have exhausted himself out by then and his friends can’t help but laugh at his suspense and that’s when he’s had enough. 

"Oi! Eren! Shut your damn hole and let me take you out on a fucking date!” He stands up and practically shouts at him, not caring if people stared. Eren just looks so shocked he can’t even say anything.

“I wanna take you out on a nice date. I wanna hold your stupid hand and I wanna fucking kiss you whenever I want! You got a problem with that?!” Levi just keeps going until Eren nods, a little dumbfounded.  

“Good. Now give me your number."