''wish that he was me

the dregs as texts i've sent
  • kaz: my brother was in my dream last night i woke up cryin bc he told me im always in his way in life and he wishes i were dead so i told him to just strangle me next time
  • inej: id literally rather die than read a single page abt entitled white men
  • nina: actualy i can cause so much more pain i just choose not to bc i have a fragile heart
  • matthias: i came to talk to yall for once and u know what? im leaving
  • jesper: honestly ive aged four decades since i graduated high school
  • wylan: this just in: im gay as fuck
  • (bonus) kuwei: none of us [asked for this life] yet here we are all of us quietly suffering thru our own miseries
Thoughts on WWSRD Ep. 10

Okay…HOLY FRAK.

1. MARY IS ALL OF US. SHE IS SO LOST ON HOW HER CHARACTER GOT TO THIS POINT. BLESS YOU, MARY. 

2. She didn’t see the engagement coming because SHE HASN’T PLAYED THE ROMANTIC SCENES. She wasn’t prepared to be engaged yet because SHE HASN’T GONE THROUGH THE PROPER STEPS TO GET ENGAGED. She doesn’t think Sharon is in a hurry to get married again & if she did it would be for spiritual reasons because SHE WANTS THAT LONG ENGAGEMENT. GIVE HER ALL THE “TRYING ON WEDDING DRESSES, LOOKING AT FLOWERS, LET’S TRY SOME CAKE, GAVIN WILL YOU BE MY MAID OF HONOR” SCENES SHE CAN GET.

3. The writing pisses her off & she feels that Duff writes “easy outs,” especially for Andy, that make it so characters don’t have to “deal with issues” that they greatly should to further that character’s arc. She was annoyed by the boy’s taking over & handling Sharon’s & Andy’s exes. She felt Andy needed to go through the process of annulling his marriage & the boys stole that from him. Because DUFF IS INCAPABLE OF GIVING THIS RELATIONSHIP DRAMA. THAT WOULD REQUIRE COMPLETE SCENES WITHOUT RUSTY. THAT DOESN’T EXIST IN DUFFLAND.

4. Mary doesn’t understand why the boys railroaded this & want it to happen so quickly, as she feels it’s more interesting to explore the fine print rather than the conventional romance - such as what if Sharon said no to marrying Andy? BECAUSE MARY DOESN’T WANT THIS MARRIAGE TO HAPPEN EITHER. NOT THIS SEASON. SHE WANTS TO EXPLORE THIS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THEIR HASN’T BEEN ONE YET.

5. She thinks Sharon needs to see Andy in action before she intuitively will feel that it is time. MARY WANTS CONTROVERSY & FIGHTS & SOMETHING REAL TO HAPPEN. DUFF HAS BEEN LIVING IN DUFFLAND FOR TWO YEARS PERTAINING TO THIS RELATIONSHIP. WHAT OTHER SHOW HAS A COUPLE WHO NEVER FIGHTS, KISSES, SLEEPS TOGETHER, SAYS I LOVE YOU, OR HAS ANY PROBLEMS WITH EACH OTHER? NONE.

5. Really listen to Mary’s words - “Winnie Davis could use Sharon’s engagement against her, hurting her chances for the promotion. This could lead to ambivalence about the engagement. If Stroh comes back, it will take center stage & EVERYTHING else will go to the back burner. If all this comes at Sharon at once, Sharon will crack and we will see a different side of her” I’M CALLING IT NOW - EVERYTHING MARY SAID WAS CODE. I PREDICT SHARON WILL TELL ANDY SHE CAN’T MARRY HIM RIGHT NOW, LEADING TO A MARRIAGE AT THE END OF SEASON 6, WHICH IS WHEN IT SHOULD HAPPEN ANYWAYS. DUH.

Special Moments

Mary saying that Bill was heavy and Andy is light. For Laura that heaviness is comforting & Andy’s lightness is fun for Sharon. But she stressed the two relationships are not near each other as Andy doesn’t have to share leadership with Sharon like Bill & Laura had too. She thinks Shandy is a more “lighter love” & Spaceparents was a more “deeper love.” When she said she wonders what happened to Bill after Laura died? Pfffffpppttttt.

Mary talking about Richard Hatch. Just all of it. Mentioning that she will be attending her first convention in May & it will be the first one he won’t be at & how sad that was to realize that. FRAK OFF ABOUT ALL OF THAT.

Mary loves Frank & Gracie…SQQUUUEEE. THAT’S IT’S NAME NOW.

Mary talking about sons wanting to thank their moms at some point & realizing how awesome their moms are & being in awe of their accomplishments? DON’T LIE. YOU WERE THINKING OF MARY & MIKE RIGHT THEN.

Dear Charlie,


i don’t know what to do
i love (L) with all my heart, it kills me.
but he only loves me sometimes and those sometimes are the happiest moments i’ll ever have. and the other moments where he doesn’t love me or chooses to ignore me,those are my saddest moments i have. It’s like i cannot live without him, but i am. I am living without him, it’s just so hard to do. God knows how much i miss being in his arms, he made me feel so safe. He made me feel like i was at home. I’ve never been very happy, he made me really happy charlie. I know he’s not my only source to happiness, but not many things make me happy yenno? I dont know what to do. One minute he loves me, the next he doesn’t. I wish he’d just tell me what he wants. is it me or her?
The thing is, if it’s truthfully me i’ll leave, i’ll leave (w). That’s so selfish of me. to make (w) a second option. (w) treats me better than (L) ever did; however (w) never made me feel the way (L) has. it’s been 5 months without him, it’s been hard. With (w) he asked me out and i said yes because i thought i liked him which trust me, i do.
but i don’t love him. I know i don’t love him because whenever i kiss him, i think of kissing (L), whenever i say i love you (L) comes to my head and not him. It’s insanity, it’s insanity to feel this way. (w) would never ever leave me, he adores me; he fucking loves me & he treats me so fucking well, but it’s not enough.
you see, i do deserve better than what (L) had to offer but what if i don’t want better? i always told my ma; if i don’t have him then i don’t want anybody. I just really don’t want to break (w’s) heart.
I’m sorry my love, but you are not the one whom i love. I’m sorry love, but i think it’s time we go our separate ways.

Love always, severena
- [ ]

2

1x16 // 4x11 [requested by @ohfortheloveofmindy]

I don’t know, just some random transboy Keith headcanons

- Keith and Pidge are the best of friends cause it’s really nice having someone else who knows on some level what it’s like to be trans. Since Pidge is a transgirl and Keith a transboy they both find comfort in each other

- One time Keith’s binder broke, so he didn’t have a binder at all anymore, that being the only one he had. He felt really scared that now that he had nothing binding his chest that everyone would look at him differently. But no, everyone just went on like normal not even giving it a thought, which made him feel much better that it didn’t seem to matter to anyone

- Lance, actually being pretty good at making clothes, made Keith a brand new binder, though it did take some time and he had to take Keith’s old binder to look at how it was made. But not only did he make Keith a brand new binder he made him a few more and even fixed his old one

- Allura had found out that Keith didn’t like sleeping without his binder. Since she figured that that probably wasn’t very safe she gave him some of her workout bras(sports bras whatever haha) to sleep in. It would be safer and give him some comfort

- the slight pressure to his chest that the workout bras give Keith relaxes him and helps him sleep so much better. And it’s like way more comfortable as well

So yeah, I just have really strong feelings about Keith. I wanted to share some headcanons about him.

andrew goes on to play exy professionally because it’s all he knows. it’s a borrowed obsession and he knows neil will play pro until he physically can’t anymore. so he joins a professional team, and he keeps playing. for years. until eventually he figures out what he wants to do with his life

he wants to work with kids. he wants to help vulnerable kids because no one ever helped him. so he retires and he becomes a social worker and for probably the first time in his life he has a passion. something he loves doing, that makes him feel good. something that makes him feel like he has a place in the world

something to live for