''there there. we totally like you better anyway.''

TMNT x Reader!

Imagine ending an unhappy relationship to be with your favorite turtle. You end up moving into the lair and spend the next few months in happy bliss…until, that us, your ex is targeted by one of the turtles enemies and you end up bringing him to the lair.
Imagine your ex talking bad about you in front of the turtles, thinking that Casey is…

“Leonard. Or something like that. Anyway, I haven’t seen her since we broke up.” Ex said, rolling his eyes as he watched Casey.
Leonardo is pretty much ignoring him.
You had told him enough about the relationship to make him understand that this guy was a total jackass. A jackass he has little to none interest in.
He instead focuses on his katanas, calmly sharpening them as Adam continued.
“I mean, I’m better off without her anyway, probably would have ended up dumping her anyway.”
Sure you would, kid. Leo simply smiled as he inspected his blades carefully.
“She was a slut anyway.”
He wasn’t smiling anymore. Anger flooded his veins as he attempted to compose himself as best he could.
“What did you just call her?” he hissed.
His voice was low and deadly, something his brothers would pick up on any day. This idiot however, did not.
“What’s it matter? It’s not like you’re-”
“Leonardo. My name is Leonardo.”
He was looking over the ex now, his blue eyes glinting with anger.
“And you will NOT speak about her like that.”
“Wait…she left me for a God damn turtle?!”
“No. She left you for a man.”

“I dunno, some loser. Went on and on about how she was sick of me and wanted someone better.”
Raph couldn’t care less about this loser.
He might of been, if he hadn’t of known how freaking awful this guy had been to you. Sleeping around, breaking your heart, and always blaming you for it.
Fucking asshole.
“And I’m just like, good luck with that! I mean seriously…” He said, eyeing Casey with disdain.
Doesn’t this guy ever shut up?
“Who’d want a bitch like her?”
Oh, hell no.
Raphael is standing over him in a second, his hulking form looming over the ex.
“Me.” He growled, his fist slamming into the wall just about Ex’s head.
It took him a minute, but once he made the connection, he turned ghost white on the spot, trembling just a little. He couldn’t even speak.
Good. Someone needed to shut him up.
“Don’t ya ever, EVER, call her that agian, ya understand me? Ya ain’t fit to even look at her, ya little punk.”

“Donald or Doyle, I don’t know! I just know she fucking walked out on me.”
Donatello is done.
This guy was the “worst mistake of your entire life” (your words, not his) and yet, here he was, acting like you owed him something.
He’s trying to stay calm, he really is. But right now?
He was mad enough to make Raphael look like a little kitten. And that was saying something.
“I don’t care really, she can do what she wants.”
Yes she can, now please shut up.
“But she could have at least put out once. God knows she opened up her legs fast enough for Dewey.”
Donatello stops. And stands up, slowly turning around to face him.
“I’ve noticed a few flaws in your argument here, maybe you need my help. First off, don’t act like you were innocent in the relationship, you know damn well that you weren’t treating her right. You deserve to be walked out on. Secondly, you most certainly do care, because otherwise you wouldn’t be complaining to ME about it. And thirdly, she didn’t owe you sex or anyone else for that matter, it’s HER choice. And…”
He was standing tall know, proudly looking down on the man who had caused you so much pain, staff in hand. Ex, at this point, was frozen in fear and probably regretting every choice in his life that had led up to this moment.
“The name is Donatello.”

“I have no clue. I just come home one day, her shit is gone and she’s like, bye. Three years down the drain, just like that.”
And who’s fault was that?
The one who lied and cheated and went around his girl’s back with her best friend? Or the the one who tried to make it work, tried to fix things?
Michelangelo is fuming inside, trying to keep control. He can’t stand that this guy is spewing shit like this about HIS girl but he doesn’t know what to do.
It’s your ex, your battle, right?
“I mean, if she was so desperate, she could have just asked me, I would have taken care of it.” Ex said, putting out his cigarette.
Considering what you told Mikey about this jerk’s skill, not freaking likely.
“Just can’t wait to watch this guy fuck her and leave her-”
It was the straw that broke the turtle’s back.
“Like Hell I will!”
Mikey lept over the couch, storming over to the guy, fists clenched and itching to take those nunchucks and slap some sense into him. But he held back.
By some miracle, he didn’t kick Ex’s ass all the way to Mars.
“Lemme tell you something, buddy. Y/N is smart, sexy, and a million times better than you! She was too good for your stupid self and you fucking know it.”
He pushed the guy back onto ass, which only served to freak him out even more.
“So why don’t YOU do us all a favor and shut the hell up?”

So I'm reading "Awake" and I couldn't help but think of this scenario...
  • Optimus: And so... for the sake of our peace treaty, and for our own well-being, it is probably best that Autobots and Decepticons steer clear of each other... for the time being.
  • Everyone: [murmuring, unsure]
  • Starscream: PFFT! Frag that.
  • Optimus: I... excuse me?
  • Starscream: You're glitched if you think I'm gonna abide by that.
  • Wheeljack: You lookin' to start something, flight-frame?
  • Starscream: [snorts] Hardly! It's unrealistic to continue keeping Autobots and Decepticons apart. We should be learning how to cooperate with each other, and the Neutrals. Besides, anyone who's got a personal score to settle would probably disobey that order anyway.
  • Rumble: He's got a point.
  • Frenzy: Yeahhh, who else would know better than Starscream about disobeying orders?
  • Everyone: [some more murmurs, chuckling]
  • Starscream: Quiet, you! The point is we're ALL going to live on this planet, whether we like it or not.
  • Optimus: I have considered this, Starscream. But what can be done? Tensions between our factions are still very high...
  • Starscream: Well I know what I'M gonna do...
  • [Starscream marches over to Skyfire. His confidence is a total bluff, but the grounders don't know that]
  • Starscream: Skyfire... would you... like to accompany me to... that bar? Over there.
  • [He points to one of the few establishments available]
  • Skyfire: Starscream, I don't think--
  • Starscream: Wait, wait a klik. No tricks. No stupid war stuff. Just you, me, my trine, and a couple of friends you wanna bring along. Whatever. I don't care. What do you say?
  • Skyfire: I...
  • [Meanwhile, Starscream's stiff posture has his trine worried. He doesn't really take public rejection well... and it seems like this behavior is taking every ounce of confidence he can muster. He's really putting himself put there on this.]
  • Skyfire: [looks to his comrades]... Percy? Wheeljack? You wanna come too?
  • Wheeljack: HELL N--
  • Perceptor: Sure, why not.
  • Wheeljack: [sputters] You CAN'T be serious.
  • Perceptor: Mm... let's just see where this goes.
  • Wheeljack: [rolls optics] Fine. But I don't have to like it...
  • [Group starts to move up the block towards the bar. Ratchet begins to follow.]
  • Optimus: You too, old friend?
  • Ratchet: I'm not going for them. I'm going 'cause I've got spare credits and I've got nothing better to do...
  • Optimus: Mhm.
  • Ratchet: Plus, if this gets ugly for any reason I'll be right there. Doesn't that make you feel better?
  • Optimus: Why are you REALLY going, Ratchet?
  • Ratchet: To be honest-- Autobots... Decepticons... hanging out already?-- I need a drink.
love potion no. 9

@port-wind-waves I’ve no idea what this is, but since we’re showering you with slapdash attempts at making up for your never did appear secret santa gift, here’s whatever this is.

witch!sakura and familiar!kakashi


“This is a bad plan.”

“Shut up, it’s totally going to work.”

Keep reading

So. I’m litteraly going d o w n with this ship and I can’t sleep and @spideyxchelle blog (check it out is amazing) inspired me so much so here we go.

Spideychelle + trans Peter (don’t get me even start with your transphobic shit, this is an hc ok? I know he’s not canonically trans. You don’t have to read it if you don’t like it) pt. 1

SO:

  • Peter is such a soft boy. Like, the kind of good soft boy your parents would like to have for dinner. So pure and precious. (At least apparently)
  • Michelle is not soft.
  • Really, secretly she /is/, but she doesn’t like to show it.
  • Not that she is a bad person or something, but years of people making fun of her made her hide her feelings and softnees
  • So, she just hide. Like. A lot. She doesn’t show pain, but anger. Doesn’t show that she is hurt, but sarcasm and fierceness.
  • At the end, it’s not fun anymore to try to make her cry or piss her off.
  • Now she passes unobserved and she is fine with it.
  • But even if she doesn’t know why, even if she can take everything they say behind her back, she can’t take Peter doing nothing when Flash bullies him.
  • Like, she’s so. Damn. Pissed.
  • But she let it go too because not of her business, and Peter needs to learn to defends himself and she couldn’t care less like it’s Peter damn Parker right who cares right?
  • (Spoiler: she does)
  • However, Flash teases are usually just him throwing tiny paper balls at him, giving him the i-am-gonna-destroy-you-parker face and just being an asshole around him
  • Expect that sometimes he calls him penis Parker and a part of Michelle is really screaming PUNCH HIM out loud in her mind.
  • But she doesn’t, because, come on Parker, just do something already!!!
  • But Peter just takes his shit silently
  • Which makes her even more angry
  • However don’t you dare bullshitting me she feels bad for him when during the penis Parker “joke” she can see his face, because he always seems on the verge of tears
  • Ofc she does know that Peter is trans. Not that he ever came out or something, he always presented himself as Peter and it seems that nobody at school question that.
  • But she knows that Flash knows Peter since they were like 5, and he’s the only one being an asshole about that and even if most of the kids find the “penis Parker” jokes just a stupid thing because the sounds of the words are similar, Peter seems to be a bit too sensitive about it.
  • And it doesn’t take long to her to understand. I mean, she’s clever /and/ very observant (especially when it comes to Peter parker)
  • So after she joins the decathlon team and she starts sharing moments with him is easy to connect the dots and find out.
  • But she never mentions it because she couldn’t care less like ok so what he’s still the soft cute boy he has always been (DID SHE JUST CALL HIM CUTE?! SHIT)
  • She’s a bit sensitive to the subject: she is an activist, she is a feminist, and she is a black queer woman. Of course she is touchy about it.
  • And like, trans community has to take so much shit from the people outside the LGBT+ community and the community itself, it’s so damn unfair.
  • Like, they are people, actually human beings, suffering and being discriminated every damn day.
  • No wonder she doesn’t like Flash
  • Also we are talking about Peter and this makes her even angrier
  • Not that she likes him, let’s be clear (spoiler: she does)
  • Until one day Flash crosses the line. He’s been Peter schoolmate for years and so he knows his deadname
  • And he uses it. And Michelle know it is his deadname because actually Peter gets so pale and he stops himself right where he is in the middle of the hallway and he looks totally like he’s gonna have a panic attack.
  • And he’s crying. Actually /crying/. Well it’s just a single tear but fuck he’s CRYING
  • And Flash is laughing.
  • And she can’t take it anymore.
  • She gets up and just thrown her shoes to him, before pushing him back with a loud “You are disgusting!” Coming out from her lips.
  • He just looks at her like “what the shit Jones?!”
  • “Shut up, idiot!” and she is like touching Peter’s shoulder so gently “are you ok Parker?”
  • And Flash is just… An idiot.
  • “there she is, Michelle Jones herself, coming to rescue her girlfriend”
  • And she just punches him. Like… Litteraly crushing her fist against his face.
  • And it’s damn satisfying if she has to be honest.
  • “I said, SHUT UP, you and your stupid gross ass”
  • And then she just takes Peter by his hand, running before finnally pushing him into an empty classrooms
  • So Peter looks at her and he looks shocked and kinda horrified and… in admiration?
  • “you…you just…punched him” “yes. I did”
  • And they just stay there for like a minute and it seems like he’s trying so hard to not makes a fool of himself in front of her
  • And that just breaks her heart so she is like “let go Parker. It’s fine. I’m not gonna tease you if you cry. Boys can cry, you know”
  • and he just collapses. He crumbles in front of her, crying, big tears coming down his cheeks and sobbing
  • First thought “shit I fucked up. What am I suppose to do now shit” second thought “…what the hell?!” Because he’s hugging her in such a desperate way and she just….
  • Goes soft. And hugs him back.
  • After five minutes of it’s fine Parker come on it’s ok now sch you’re fine and rubbing his back gently he stops and steps back
  • “sorry. Thanks Michelle. I’m so so-” “cut it off. It’s ok. It’s not your fault if he’s an idiot, Peter”
  • AND OMG she just called him PETER and not PARKER
  • “anyway. Thanks. For… Everything”
  • And she smiles and his heart goes like /crazy/ in his chest
  • But then she crosses her arms and she looks at him raising an eyebrow “why do you let him tease you. Damnit Peter, just say to him to shut the fuck up!”
  • “I… Don’t want any trouble” “well, duh, it’s not really working”
  • And he just looks so mortified and his fingers are tormenting the hem of his shirt and he’s looking at his shoes
  • “Peter. Look at me. Why? You don’t deserve to be treated like that!”
  • And he’s sobbing quietly again
  • “because… He knows. He knows…a thing…and… I’m afraid he’ll tell everyone and I don’t…want to”
  • And MJ is like “what does he know? Have you killed someone, Parker?”
  • She’s a bit sarcastic but that makes him chuckle a little and he’s so. Damn. Cute. Damnit.
  • And finnally he takes a deep breath and he looks at her and just “I’m… I’m trans”
  • Like what the shiiiit Peter he didn’t meant to tell her just like that, he and his stupid mouth and brain and emotions and
  • She raise an eyebrow again “I know”
  • WHAT THE SHIT MJ???? is he so obvious? Doesn’t he look like a boy? Shit shit shit. He’s panicking now.
  • “how do you…” “I’m very observant”
  • And then she touch his hand gently “Peter, don’t worry. It’s not obvious or something. I’m just…” And she stops because what can she says? I am good at observing you? Very interested in your life? Creepy. But he’s breathing again so it’s fine anyway. Better don’t mess up.
  • “I’m queer, by the way. Like… Not straight” she just says that, like ok he’s been honest with her so why not at least they can be queer together can’t they?
  • And she needed something to say lol
  • He just looks at her “thanks for telling me”
  • She smiles. Actually smiles. A tiny smile. But it /is/ a smile and daaaaaaaamn she looks so cute.
  • But better not tell her I mean she is being kind with him and he doesn’t want her to go away and anyway it’s not like he likes like MJ lol nope totally not
  • “Pride is next week. Want to join?” She asks him, opening to the door
  • And damn she could totally be more soft with him if this means seeing that light in his eyes
  • “Yeah, sure” “cool. See you later”
  • And then just like that they start to be really friends, not the we are friend but we are not they’ve always been, and maybe, maybe this can be the beginning of something.
  • (Spoiler: it is)


Feel free to send me prompt or request I’m really into this fandom, ask me whatever you want I need to write about Peter and the others so damn much.

Shoot to Thrill

Originally posted by multifandomfantasychild

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 4,396 (w/o lyrics)

Warnings: drinking (excessively, lots of shots), heavy AF flirting, some swear words, naughty-ish thoughts, implied naughty actions later maybe….so kinda like smut?

Summary: After a successful hunt, you and the Winchesters head to the bar for the usual celebration ritual. You get absolutely hammered, making your desire for Dean come to the forefront of your mind. Dean thinks you’ve had enough alcohol, but you’re not done, so you strike a deal: you win a game of pool, you stay and he shuts his mouth, but what if he wins?

A/N: I actually got pointed (by @bewithme-forevermore) in the direction of a writing challenge to write a Marvel character with the theme of an AC/DC song. I didn’t do the challenge but it sparked this idea - except for Dean. Of course Dean. If this was a Marvel thing, I would’ve gone Bucky, or Steve for some sinful-ish Stevie boy *rubs hands together evilly* But this is my first attempt at writing anything REMOTELY smutty because I just don’t do smut at all - it isn’t my thing so I’m sorry for the quality of it. But it just felt like it HAD to happen. I don’t even think I could call it smut at all but I don’t know what else to call it

Y/N/N = your nickname


You practically crawled into the back of the impala, laying your back against the leather seat, careful to avoid getting too much blood everywhere. What you had thought were two werewolves turned out to be five, but the three of you had managed in the end to take care of the problem with no broken bones. That’s not to say you won’t have wicked bruises in the morning if they weren’t forming already, and you didn’t even want to think about the aching muscles. That was morning (Y/N)’s problem.

“Hey, you still alive back there?”

His emerald eyes ducked below the roof of the impala, brows knitted together.

“As if I’d leave all the fun to you two asshats, without me you’d be dead!”

You waved him off, not missing the defiant snort at your words, laying your arm over your forehead.

“Sweetheart, I hate to tell you this but Sammy and I were quite capable hunters before you came along. We would’ve been fine.”

“Doubt it pretty boy, I made you better.” You winked at him, puckering your lips together and blowing him a kiss.

“Pretty boy huh? I’m an asshat and a pretty boy…” Of course that’s all he’d take from that. Either he was a total moron who couldn’t see the hints you had been dropping since forever, or he wasn’t interested but didn’t have the heart to stop flirting with you anyway. You let out a sigh, closing your eyes while you waited for Sammy to get back to the impala.

Keep reading

Gryffindor!Peter and Ravenclaw!Reader Headcanon


*posts headcanons to make up for the lack of imagines*

these are fun, thought i’d try it.

Gryffindor!Peter and Ravenclaw!Reader dating…


  • He’d find every reason to bother you while you’re doing something important
  • One time you were up at the astronomy tower looking through a telescope and he just comes barreling through the door and attacks you with hugs and kisses
  • Anyone would be flattered by this but your telescope slips out of your hands and spirals down to the castle grounds, so naturally the first thing you say is “Peter whAT THE FUCK I WAS LOOKING AT SATURN’S RINGS”
  • You still love him though
  • He offered you his telescope to borrow and then he bought you a new one for your birthday
  • You then proceeded to slap him on the shoulder and cry in his arms
  • “why are you like t-this” “I bought you a telescope and you’re crying, what the hell y/n” “don’T YELL AT ME IM EMOTIONAL” “you’re welcome” “thank you. I love you.” “love you too, babe”
  • Study dates hELLLLL YEAHHHH
  • Sometimes when you’re cramming for an exam in the morning he’ll come to your table and give you a kiss on the cheek for “encouragement”
  • “holy shit are you okay?”
  • “Yeah jus a little bit of coffee in the lungs”
  • And he’s often staying up upgrading his housemate’s broomsticks *cough* illegally *cough* so you return the favor and bug him until he goes to bed
  • Room of Requirement is your go-to place for dates (or literally just anything), after Hogsmeade
  • Sometimes he gets these itches to do something really impulsive and he’ll have to drag you along with him because you’re the level-headed one out of you two
  • “there’s a 30% chance we might die” “oh, not on my watch. let’s go”
  • Peter, no doubt likes to look out for the little guys. Whenever he sees a student being bullied, he’ll step in and then take the kid to your common room so both of them can get treated (and he can get scolded)
  • this happens so much that y’all become that one power couple in the school that is simultaneously sweet and intimidating as fuck
  • draco Malfoy who? I only know Peter Parker’s Right Hook and his Ravenclaw Girlfriend
  • OHMYGOD I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS
  • BUT IF MICHELLE AND NED AND LIZ WERE ALSO AT HOGWARTS
  • Y’ALL WOULD BE THE ULTIMATE SQUAD
  • Michelle’s also a Ravenclaw and since the both of you are muggleborns, plus liz being a halfblood the three of you are always gossiping at lunch about the newest song or movie that’s out in the muggleworld
  • meanwhile, Peter and Ned are just sitting in the corner nonchalantly eating at their pudding and trying to get your attention
  • They end up trying to charm an extra pudding bowl into growing legs and walking towards you
  • It immediately backfires and flies into someone’s head from the table down
  • you, michelle, and liz want to bury your heads in the salad as you three watch when they dig themselves under the table to hide from peril
  • you sometimes like to draw peter when you two are both in the library studying
  • it’s just doodles on the side of your parchment but you can still capture his little pout and the way he frowns when he can’t quite remember exact dates in history
  • when he looks up to ask you a clarifying question and he sees the sketches, he fucking smirks like a chesire cat and says “having fun there, babe?”
  • “shut up before I give you a unibrow”
  • “you wound me”
  • the squad would totally throw parties in the room of requirement after lights out, don’t fight me on this
  • hufflepuff!ned would bring food and snacks because we all know which house has the easiest access to the kitchens
  • you and peter designed fake galleons that worked as a secret messaging system where the time of the party would scribble themselves onto the side of the coins and a confirmation button would have to be pressed for each participant
  • ned thinks its genius and michelle and liz think its ridiculous
  • but they attend the parties anyway, “pfft not like we have anything better to do”
  • michelle brings the music and speakers
  • and liz brings games and uh… alcohol
  • she doesn’t tell anyone where she gets it from, but you have a sneaking suspicion its from a slytherin named flash that she’s had her eye on for a few months
  • THIS IS SLOWLY TURNING INTO A SQUAD HEADCANON IM SORRY LET ME GET BACK ON TRACK
  • Christmas with peter would be so precious
  • If you’re not visiting your parents, he’ll take you to Queens to see Aunt May
  • Speaking of which, aunt may would love to hear that Peter’s found someone that keeps him in check (sometimes). You don’t mention the many instances where you’ve joined him in his escapades though because Peter’s giving you frantic hand waves from the kitchen and mouthing “SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP”
  • So you choose to smile and nod “of course. He’s always so reckless, it’s hard to keep up with his antics sometimes. Still love him though”
  • Peter jokingly glares at you “oh shut up”
  • Christmas aside, I feel like Aunt may would always send him howlers whenever he’d get caught
  • “PETER BENJAMIN PARKER I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE” “IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN A WEEK SINCE I GOT THE LAST NOTICE, MY PENS HAVE BEEN RUNNING OUT OF INK FROM HOW MANY HOWLER’S I’VE BEEN WRITING” “I DIDN’T NURSE YOU THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE SICKNESS UNDER THE SUN JUST SO YOU COULD GET YOURSELF KILLED BY SETTING OFF FIREWORKS IN THE SCHOOL COURTYARD” “IF I CATCH YOU PULLING STUNTS LIKE THIS AGAIN, YOUR LEGOS WILL BE CONFISCATED”
  • ned’s head pops up from the plate of pastries “nO NOT THE LEGOS”
  • peter’s face is as red as his school sweater and you want to swat him over the head for getting ahold of another one of the Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes products but also hug him so he wont be as embarrassed
  • Whenever Peter has nightmares, he’ll contact you with sickles the two of you designed exclusively just for yours and his purposes only
  • the sickle starts to play a tune that would usually lull people to sleep, but you’ve recognized it as the one that starts playing whenever peter wants you to come over after he’s woken up from a bad dream
  • and when you reach his dorm, he’s shaking in bed and the second he sees you, his arms reach out
  • you automatically get in bed with him and the two of you will spend the whole night talking and soothing him
  • even though you wont admit it, you love to take care of him and pamper him as much as possible
  • and of course he absolutely loves it
  • but sometimes he feels guilty that he doesnt help you as much as you help him
  • you always stop him before he can continue, though. peter’s the reason why you’ve never felt happier from the moment you walked into this school and you’re pretty sure that if he wasn’t in your life, it’d be a much tougher place
  • he’s always there to listen and cheer you up, even if you dont explicitly mention that you’re feeling down
  • GOSH i cry just thinking about it, overall you two would be that one couple that sometimes bickers but the love that they have for each other is so obvious
  • affectionate and puppy-like and whipped and loYAL

this has been a mess of Ravenclaw!Reader x Gryffindor!Peter headcanons. Halfway through it sorta morphed into a hoco-squad HP!AU shitpost but thats okay, no headcanon would be complete without those guys

Uhhh im supposed to be writing, but writer’s block is kicking my butt right now and I started school a couple weeks ago, so i havent had much time to do pretty much ANYTHING tumblr related.

one of these days…i’ll be productive and have my shit together… but that ain’t today

hope y’all enjoyed it!

come scream at me on tumblr, y’all

keets-blog  asked:

why is luongo the best goalie in the nhl

  1. He’s the highest drafted goalie in the Q ever in history, 2nd overall. (and not the highest drafted in the nhl but still 4th overall!)
  2. He’s the active goalie with more games played in the whole league (966, and the second is Lundqvist with 742)
  3. Even with that amount of games played, he’s still the 7th best active goalie in career save %!!!! (tied with the angel Bishop, and above two time stanley cup winner Crawford and three times stanley cup winner Fleury)
  4. He has multiple worlds and Olympics gold medals (and a world cup gold! from way back then!)
  5. Even though he’s been in the NHL for like 15 seasons, he only played in three teams (Florida missed him so much they got him again!)
  6. He took the Canucks to the playoffs six years in a row (seven years total).
  7. He’s a six time all star NHL player, the last time being only last year! 2016! At 37 years old!
  8. He was actually a captain back in the day.
  9. He has the best twitter in the NHL.
  10. He literally just is and you can disagree, but you’d be wrong.
3

Gianna: Is there a problem, here?

Britt: (fake smile) Of course not. We were just sharing ghost stories with our bestie here. She’s got some good ones. (winks)

Gianna: Yeah, it totally looks like it. You two better beat it, or you won’t like what happens afterwords. Don’t think I didn’t see you and Chad in the courtyard today, Naomi. Behind the bushes?

Naomi: I don’t know what you’re talking about, Butch.

Gianna: Oh, I think you do. You uh, still got a little something there on the corner of your mouth, by the way.

Britt: Okay, enough! C’mon, we got better places to be, anyway. Mom said we could leave early today, anyway. 

My sister, a good and pure Clear lover: Why do you like ViTri anyway? They’re bad.

Me, an intellectual, total trash:

Still Beating (Part 7)

For previous parts click here. Thanks for reading. x

Harry drove me to Evan’s dorm and helped me load up my possessions into his trunk. My stomach churned as he drove to his apartment. I was surprised at just how close it is to campus. It’s a slightly longer walk than the furthest dorm but of course Harry and Niall both drive everywhere. Niall isn’t there when we arrive, and I internally breathe a sigh of relief. I don’t feel emotionally stable enough to meet someone new right now.

“So, this is it,” Harry says as we step into his apartment.

Holding my breath, I walk into a dimly lit space with dark wood furniture and burgundy paint. It’s simply decorated, and surprisingly clean. There’s not many homey touches in the open space, just two couches that form an L-shape around the TV, a kitchen with a stainless steel fridge, a stove and a small table.

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Smile, Doll Face Pt. 2

Part 1

Word Count: 1.7k

Pairing: Joker x Reader

Warning: Smut

Hey peeps! So, here’s part two. Sorry for the wait and for the lack of quality in this one. I’m not very good at writing part 2′s to stories. But anyway, I hope you guys don’t hate it too much. 

P.S. I really can’t do a part 3 if anyone wants it. Sorry, homies.

As your loud yawn echoes through the parking lot, you try to rub the tiredness from your eyes. You’re exhausted. Even though you have a nice stack of cash now, you’re still working at the news station. You haven’t been out in the field much since the robbery, which is mostly due to your boss. He can be a nice guy when he wants to be. Recently, all you’ve been doing is organization in the storage rooms and cleaning at the end of the day. Now that you think about, you’re not sure if he’s trying to be nice or if he’s just having you clean so he doesn’t have to hire a janitor. Right now, you’re betting on the latter. But still, you can’t really blame him. Even with the simple tasks he gives you, productivity has gone down. Way down. You try to work hard, you really do, but your mind always finds its way back to the robbery. Back to The Clown Prince. Sometimes you look over your shoulder, expecting him to be there with a wild grin plastered on his face and your camera clutched in his hand.

You huff and get into your car, plopping into the drivers seat and tossing your bag to the side.

You freeze when you notice an envelope taped to the steering wheel. You click on the light and lock the doors out of instinct.

“What is…” your voice trails off when you see the cursive handwriting on the back.

♡ Doll Face♡

Your lips curl up into a grin and you rip the envelope open, shaking out its contents.

You swear loudly when you see the pictures fall out. The pictures he took. You flip through them, your breathing a little bit heavier with each one.

He wrote on the photos with red sharpie. Each one said something different.

“What a pretty little slut”

“Daddy’s good little girl”

“Kitten loved playtime, didn’t she?”

The last picture was of you covered in his cum with your tongue out.

Daddy’s coming for you, Doll Face. You’re never leaving my sight again.
                                             ~See you soon~

After staring for a few more minutes, you put the pictures back in the envelope and stuff it into your bag.

You start the car and pull out of the parking lot. You try to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as you head home.

A soft sigh escapes your lips as you walk into your apartment. You kick the door shut and make your way to the kitchen. You smile as you rummage through the fridge. You have to admit, it’s nice to finally have money. You get to eat actual food, instead of instant noodles and TV dinners.

“I was wondering when you’d come home.”

You shriek and jump, slamming your head into the fridge with a thud.

“Fucking shit!” You exclaim, turning around and rubbing the top of your head.

Your breath catches in your throat when you see him.

The Joker is in your kitchen.

The Joker is in your fucking kitchen!

It all feels so…surreal.

Then you realize how fucking stupid you look. Staring at him, completely dumbfounded.

He said he was coming to get you.

Whether you totally believed it at the time is a different story. But that shit doesn’t matter because he’s actually here.

“I didn’t think you would…wait…how the fuck did you get in here?”

Before he can answer, you cut him off.

“That’s a stupid question. You’re a criminal. Obviously you have your ways. How long have you been in here? I mean, you had enough time to put the pictures in my car-”

“Kitten…”

“-and to come back here but my job is over an hour away so you must’ve been here-”

“Kitten!” He growls, shutting you up.

He stalks closer to you and you look towards the floor.

“I uh, I talk a lot…when I’m nervous. Sorry,” you mumble.

“Look at me,” he instructs, tilting your chin up.

You bat your eyelashes at him and study his face, your eyes filled with curiosity.

“I don’t know your name, doll.”

You giggle. “That’s a lie.”

He grips your chin tighter but you keep your eyes on him.

“You’re telling me you hung around in my apartment and didn’t look through my mail?” You quip with a smirk.

He grins and releases your chin.

“You’re a smart one, Y/N.”

“So, uhm, Joker-”

“J,” he corrects.

“Right, J. What exactly did you mean by the whole, ‘you’re never leaving my sight again’ thing?”

“I take it back. Not as smart as I thought,” he says.

“I just…find it hard to believe that you want me.”

“What’s so hard to believe? I told you I take what I want. If I didn’t want you, you’d already be dead,” he states.

Was that supposed to make you feel better?

You can’t do this, can you? You have a job and a life.

A shitty job and a boring life. A miserable life that you’ve always wanted to be rid of. You can totally do this! It’s not like you have much of a choice anyway.

“So,” you say, locking your arms around his shoulders.

“Where are we going?”

J smiles madly with an insane look in his eyes and pulls you closer by your hips.

“Before we go anywhere, Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”

He tosses you over his shoulder and carries you towards the bedroom, slapping your ass before throwing you down on to the bed.

He’s on top of you in an instant, biting at the exposed flesh on your neck and running his hands down your sides.

You eagerly pull his shirt off, tossing it across the room. You gasp when you feel a sharp pinch on your stomach. You look down to see his knife ripping up through your shirt…and your bra.

“Oh, not again! That was my favorite bra,” you whine with a pout.

“I’ll buy you more, princess,” he says, yanking down your pants.

He crawls back up to you capturing your lips roughly, sliding his tongue into your mouth. His cock presses against your pussy and you moan, lifting your hips up into him. He shoves your hips down and you can feel him smirking. His hand travels down your stomach, dipping between your legs. His hand moves against you and you arch into his touch. He sucks your nipple into his mouth, giving you a small bite. You whimper and push your hips up again, only for him to slam them back down into the mattress. His hand flies around your throat, gripping it tightly.

“Behave, kitten,” he growls.

“Please,” You say breathlessly.

“Please what?”

You swallow hard. “Please, daddy. I need you,”

“Fine,” he says, releasing your neck and rolling on to his back.

“Why don’t you take a seat on Daddy’s face, princess.”

You don’t hesitate to kick off your panties and straddle his head, giving him perfect access to your dripping mound.

He teasingly flicks his tongue against your clit before delving in. You shudder and grip tightly on to his hair. You’ve been thinking about this for weeks, and now it’s finally happening! All that pent up sexual frustration will finally be released.

You roll your hips, slowly grinding your clit against his tongue, occasionally hitting the cold metal of his teeth. His fingers dig into your hips, keeping you still while his tongue does all the work, lapping at your heat and playing with your wetness. His cock hardens more with every moan and squeak that escapes your lips.

You taste better than he imagined and boy, did he imagine. The late nights spent with only the pictures he took and his right hand to keep him company.

No, you weren’t the only one waiting for this.

He hooks an arm around your waist and pulls you further down on his mouth. He can’t get enough of your flavor.

His tongue flicks and swirls faster against you, your legs clench tighter around his head and you make a strangled noise.

“I’m so close,” you whimper.

He starts sucking on your sensitive bud and you cry out, tossing your head back.

The familiar tingling pools in your lower abdomen and you know you won’t last much longer.

Your hands bury into his hair and you grind your hips again, ignoring the sting from his grip.

“Fuck, daddy!” You scream out.

His eyes lock hungrily onto yours when you reach your orgasm, pleasure rippling throughout your body.

He presses a gentle kiss to your clit before sliding out from under you. You collapse forward onto the bed with a content sigh.

“We’re not done yet, kitten.”

You gasp when you feel his cock push inside you. He holds your hips down into the mattress and pulls out slowly just to slam back inside you again.

“You’re so tight,” he groans, thrusting faster.

You bury your face into the pillow, muffling your moans as he pounds into you. Yanking you up by your hair, he wraps his hand around your neck and growls in your ear.
His hot breath tickles your skin, sending shivers down your body, despite the sweat covering you.

He squeezes tighter and you claw at his hands but he slams into you harder. Your vision goes fuzzy and your ears ring but he’s not letting up. You can see him out of the corner of your eye, glaring at you with a snarl.

Fucking hell, he’s strong!

You suck in a huge breath when he let’s go, but you’re face down on the mattress again with him right on top of you.

It’s getting too intense and you bite down on the pillow, digging your nails into the sheets.

Your walls spasm around him and he smirks, reaching around to rub your clit

“Come on, kitten. Cum for daddy,”

That’s all it takes to push you over the edge.

You quiver and mumble incoherently as you ride out an electrifying orgasm.

His thrusts are sloppy and hard, his breath is hot on your neck and he tangles his fingers in your hair.

He slams into you violently, shooting his cum inside you.

“You’re so good, kitten,” he whispers, burying his face in your hair.

That’s it. There’s no turning back now.

This is the beginning of your new life.

And you will always belong to The Clown Prince.

Whether you like it or not.

3

My VEGEBUL fancast!!!!!!!
Ed Westwick x Zhang Ziyi

REASON…
Ed because I know that he can play the arrogant, condescending, broody, I’m the shit and I know it that has father issues, but really just needs a woman to love me and balance me out and not take any of my shit character ex. GG Chuck Bass.
Now, Ed’s alittle tall 5'9, but get someone like extra tall like Godfrey Gao as Goku he’s like 6'4 or something and balance it out lol.
I always imagine Vegeta taller than Bulma anyway.

Zhang, she’s been named one of the world’s most beautiful women, like some blue haired genius we know. She’s a total badass that can hold her own and has played some very complicated characters in the past. Ex. House of Flying Daggers- Xiao Mei and Memoirs of a Geisha- Chiyo.
Who better to play the genius heiress

Now, if you have issues with my picks don’t look at it. Just pass it put as you scroll. There you go… . . juuuust keeeep oonn goooing. Because idc, cause… you know what? I had fun doing this. So, Bii don’t kill my vibe.

But if you like it. . .😘😘😘 thank you!!!
3

Technicolor was a series of processes used in filmmaking mostly between the late 20s and the mid-50s. There were several different processes used over that time period as technology improved, but in a nutshell they all messed around with color channels in various ways, attempting to reproduce colors correctly on a movie screen. We’re going to simulate the effect of one of those old Technicolor processes by…Oh, hey! Messing around with color channels! Imagine that! Then we’re going to screw around with layers to make things appropriately saturated and slightly blurry and vintagey-looking.

I’ll warn you up front that this is fiddly and subjective. I can tell you basically what to do and what to look for, but a lot of the steps are things you just have to fiddle with until it looks good to you. And this isn’t going to work on absolutely every pic. It has to be done on a pic-by-pic level. There are no universal settings in these steps that will work for all Sims pics. This is art, not science. That said, once you get the hang of it and memorize the steps, this takes less than a minute to do on a pic in its basic form. Really. I promise.

The instructions and pics in this are for/from Photoshop CS6. That said, there is nothing about this process that you can’t do in much older iterations of Photoshop, although there is one step for which the controls are significantly different in older versions. But I think you can muddle through fairly easily. And if you don’t have Photoshop I imagine other full-function image editors (GIMP, Paint Shop Pro,  etc.) have similar functions if you poke about a bit. The instructions are as detailed as I can make them. (And therefore this is very long and has lots of pics. I’m sorry.) So even if you have no real clue what you’re doing or why, I think you can follow along. The only thing it assumes you know how to do is open and crop/resize a pic in Photoshop. :) So here we go…

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anonymous asked:

How do you feel about the last book of the RQ series being called War Storm?

I think the title could have been better. Imo, WAR STORM doesn’t have a nice ring to it, like GLASS SWORD, but in the end ‘glass sword’ did make sense, so we shall wait and see this time. 

I would have liked SCARLET STORM better because it encompasses the Scarlet Guard, the dawn, and Mare as the main protagonist, but then it has three syllables, so that’s a no. (All RQ book titles have only two words, each word with one syllable, making a total of two syllables.) Or perhaps FLAME STORM, as suggested by @chaoslaborantin, because it goes back to the three main characters: Mare, Cal, and Maven. 

Anyway, I feel like this WAR STORM is heavily connected to Jon’s words to Mare back in GS: “I see you as you could become, no longer the lightning, but the storm. The storm that will swallow the world entire.

My title ranking:
RED QUEEN = KING’S CAGE > GLASS SWORD > WAR STORM

baronsamediswife  asked:

Ha! I thought that these would be awesome to answer in character and THEN YOU WENT AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS! So for Sam and Dean (I basically want all of them, but I'm leaving some for other askers...) tell me giggle, treat, sunset and borrowed sweater!

(hee, the enthusiasm! thank you Myri <3)

Giggle: a cute quirk that your partner has?

SAM: I don’t think I’d describe Dean as cute, exactly.
DEAN: Are you joking? I’m adorable.
SAM: …Right. My mistake.
DEAN: Dude, you know it’s true.
SAM: Okay, fine. Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.
DEAN: What are you, twelve?
SAM: You know that’s usually my line, right?
DEAN: …Fine. Okay. He, uh. He mumbles in his sleep, a lot, and if I can’t stand it anymore and elbow him he shuts up and then, like, cuddles into me like I’m a frickin’ teddy bear. You weigh a ton, by the way. …But, yeah. That.
SAM: Aww.
DEAN: Shut up. Anyway, it’s your turn. Put up or shut up.
SAM: I like it when you laugh.
DEAN: That’s it? Dude, I laugh at you all the time.
SAM: Not that. When you like, really laugh, throw your head back, can’t stop, the whole nine. You put your hand over your stomach, like it hurts, and then you make this little sound–I don’t know, I can’t describe it. It’s cute. I like that. 
DEAN: Oh. Okay. Not bad, Sammy.

Treat: dream dinner location + movie date?

SAM: Well, this isn’t going to turn into an argument at all.
DEAN: No, hey, I got one. You remember that little Italian place in Cooperstown?
SAM: Oh. Yeah, with the–
DEAN: Yeah, and that fruit and custard thing at the end, oh my god.
SAM: Wow, good one.
DEAN: See? I’m romantic.
SAM: Uh-huh. Okay, but not an action movie again. And no Clint Eastwood!
DEAN: Fine, you pick, then. I picked the restaurant.
SAM: Hm. How about–oh. Ha. Okay. True Lies.
DEAN: Oh, good one. Jamie Lee Curtis was hot in that movie.
SAM: I know. Might be fun to re-enact that scene.
DEAN: …Oh. Uh, yeah. Maybe.

Sunset: lively evening at a carnival in mid July or a lazy, serene evening on a beach in late August?

(both, simultaneously):
DEAN: Carnival. / SAM: Beach.
DEAN: Dude! Funnel cake!
SAM: Dude, little kids puking out of the tilt-a-whirl.
DEAN: Okay, then, sand in your crack. It never comes out.
SAM: This is why they invented blankets.
DEAN: I’d win you a stuffed bear at the shooting range.
SAM: I’d win myself a stuffed bear at the shooting range. (Dean scoffs.) How about this–a bottle of whiskey and the stars out with the tide coming in, and no one around to notice if we wrapped the blanket around our shoulders and–uh, enjoyed the evening.
DEAN: …Not bad. But what about this: making out on top of the ferris wheel.
SAM: What, like it’s seventh grade again? …Eh, maybe both.
DEAN: Both is good. I’m totally winning the bear, though.

Borrowed sweater: would you ever get matching clothes/jewelry/etc with your partner?

(both look at each other)
DEAN: I mean–
SAM: Yeah, we did that already.
DEAN: Anyway, matching tattoos are useful. I don’t wanna wear Sammy’s godawful shirts.
SAM: We both wear plaid, Dean.
DEAN: Some of us have better taste in plaid than others, that’s all I’m saying.

(ask me to answer as Sam or Dean)

Much Ado About Takeout

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: Neighbour!AU where you ask Sam for help with your “party” refreshments.

Words: 2,567

Warnings: fluff, mentions of yummy food, Sam Wilson (just look at the gif.  if Sam ever looked at me like that, I don’t know about you but I’d melt on the spot)

A/N: this is my submission for Tay‘s AU Writing Challenge! Thank you Tay for organizing and letting me participate. It’s my first time in a challenge and first time writing Sam, so feedback is appreciated.  Off we go!  I hope you enjoy!

italics are Reader’s memories/thoughts.

(gif found on google images)

Your stomach is audibly groaning when you hastily unlock the door to your apartment. Kicking your shoes off at random, you pick up the television remote and flick to the channel guide, searching for the program title you need: Brooklyn Nine-Nine.  

“Yes, yes I know you’re hungry, we’ll eat soon!” You tell your stomach when it rumbles a fearsome, but empty rumble.

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anonymous asked:

I started out not really liking Mary, but I think after 12x22 and with Dean's "conversation" (I use that term loosely), I like her a bit better. Idk just my opinion. Anyway, that wasn't what I wanted to say; I like her interactions with Cas, and the meta you posted about the whole "son in law" relationship, and I was wondering, do you think we would get more of interactions like this, and getting Mary's views/opinions on Dean and Cas' relationship?

I don’t KNOW that we will get it but I want it :D

I don’t know how long Mary will be stuck in the AU but I do totally see Mary and Cas as mirrors all through season 12 (and Cas v Amara in season 11 who is Mary’s predecessor). 

I imagine we will get Mary back around the same time as Cas tbh… and next season should go super strong on the Destiel subtext so it wouldn’t surprise me if we had at least a little bit of a um, “my son and his… uhh friend” or “I thought you were… ?” whatever moment.

My absolute favourite trope that I am pretty sure we will never get but I so so so want is after they get Cas and Mary back, while all the Destiel subtext is getting rampant, for all 4 of them to be on a MotW family hunt (already, that is something I want so much!) and for 2 motel rooms to be available but only 1 twin and 1 double… for Mary to just assume that Dean and Cas will take the double, for Dean to just shrug and be like yeah, fine, cos “Cas doesn’t sleep anyway” but heck, if thats not an excuse and the double layer is so blatant ;)

And Sam is just like…

haylestorming  asked:

8, 27, 36, or 39 (so you can pick your fave or in case a number has already been requested) for the prompt meme, please! Only if you want to, though. I hope you're doing well and have a good day!

You guys get so heckin’ polite and sweet about these prompts I could cry. Hope you like Sperm Donor AU (I think I remember that you did, if I’m wrong I totally suck sorry, and we really need to find a better name for it).

Anyway, I chose 8, ““Were you ever going to tell me?” 

It’s been about two months since the…time a pregnancy would have taken place, he can’t call it anything other than what it was. And it was a clinical, life-creating process. One they do not talk about. And Jyn…

Hasn’t said a word. 

She acts like all is normal, comfortingly patting his arm in passing, talking to him when they have a moment; both trying to fit into their new lives with positions secured in a more structured Alliance. 

So when Rogue One decides to go out to get a drink, like any night before a well-deserved day off, he feels as strung up as he does every time he sees her; no accomplished look of excitement on her face to know that their efforts…took, per say. There’s no hand smoothing maternally down her own belly, no glow, no proud smile. So he assumes they failed, or she changed her mind, or just let it go.

So over drinks, when he sees her at the bar ordering for everyone, a chore she’s always tried to slide into his lap, he barely notes the difference. Until she’s sipping what looks very much like juice. Just juice. 

Jyn is hardly a lush, but she likes a good night out. Likes to be rowdy in a contained space with many friends to look out for her. Likes to let go, when she knows Cassian will probably end up catching her and holding back her hair when all comes rushing back up. 

He watches her pull from the juice -a quite healthy one at that, very little sugar- he loses his breath. Because for her….

He stomachs the ache in himself, pulling long sips from his drink when someone makes eye contact with him, as though they expect him to speak, want him to speak, like he normally would. Usually after Jyn says something. He’s quiet, because he can’t, not when there’s this chance at life swirling into molecular form in Jyn’s belly, half his life and half hers. 

There’s a moment of pure affection that he knows that she’s making choices to take care of their baby. 

Her baby. It’s hers. He can’t take that from her. 

Jyn catches his eye as Chirrut tells a story (with Baze making corrections for accuracy). Are you okay? she mouths, her eyes concerned.

The way her face pales when he looks back tells him all he needs to know; she knows her knows. 

She leans back in her seat, sighing. “I’m beat.”

“You’ve had one drink,” Bodhi laughs, probably assuming it wasn’t just juice in her glass. She looks uncomfortable. 

Smoothly, Cassian lifts her glass from across the table, sniffing it, cringing, and then draining all evidence through the straw. “Kriff, Erso. This is rocket fuel.”

She shoots him a thankful look, a guilty one, because she doesn’t deserve him bailing her out right now. He nods back. “Let me help you to your room.”

She nods. For dramatic effect, he slings one of her arms over his shoulders, and she leans into it, accepting. Once they’ve said their goodbyes, they walk to her bunk in silence. their arms switch positions, it’s him who slings one over her shoulders now, bosoming her to his side like his best card. 

She won’t leave it. Won’t pull away. He searches for the right thing to say, but there is none. So he goes for the obvious one;

“When were you ever going to tell me?”

“Did I need to?” she replies flatly.

He nods stiffly. She sighs, resting her brow on his shoulder as he leads her feet. 

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s so early, Cass, I don’t want something bad to happen like it usually does when you’ve only just got a moment to be happy about it. I wanted just a little time to be sure.”

“you don’t have to protect me. I can be in this with you. Not just someone who’d be excited for you from a distance.”

She grabs him by the arm before she closes the door; 

“The story is that over a month ago, we got drinks together. You left before me, and I got drunk and went home with someone. I won’t remember his name when asked. That’s the story.”

He nods at her. 

“How’s the morning sickness?” he asks.

She sighs, her eyes softening. “Not good. I hate it.”

He steps into her room. The door whishes shut. She raises her eyebrows. “Didn’t you already get me pregnant?”

He looks at the floor. 

“I…I’ve helped you with hangovers. I can be here to help you with morning sickness. Can’t I?”

He’s crashed in her room before on drunken nights, even shared her bed, as a precaution for the violent mornings where her vices caught her by the stomach and throat. Took care of her through them all. 

Jyn looks conflicted, because this offer shouldn’t be making it harder, but there are unspoken reasons why they are. 

“Some asshole got you pregnant,” he tries to laugh, “And this is what I’m going to be doing about it. If you’ll let me.”

Jyn’s face is stricken, he’s not sure why, almost leaves, until she catches his hand. 

“Stay,” she whispers, and he gathers her in his arms. 

“You’re going to be a mother.”

She laughs, a sob overtaking her, every possible emotion in one. 

“I haven’t heard it out loud before.”

Her joy over being a mother completely overtakes her denial of him as the father. For a little while, at least. 

Maybe, if the story is that he isn’t the father, he can stay close without contradicting it. That she can remember his name, but chooses not to.

Maybe, he’s trying to soften the thing on his tongue that is so hard to swallow. 

Author Highlight Thursday: suitablyskippy

suitablyskippy on AO3

suitablyskippy on Tumblr

If you enjoy analyzing the possibility of Teruki canonically being some sort of sociopath and/or taking a look at the more violent aspects of mp100 though a ONE-esque humorous lens, suitiblyskippy has the content you need! They’ve written a variety of oneshots, drabbles, case fics, 5 times 1 time fics, and even a Gintama Crossover! On to the individual works!


tomorrow isn’t always another day

Kageyama “Mob” Shigeo & Reigen Arataka. Case Fic, Time Loop. Completed. Rated: T. Word Count: 18,000.

It’s like Reigen’s been waiting for the question. He stops dead on the pavement, grips Mob by the shoulders, and stares down into his eyes with an expression as haunted as though every ghost the pair of them has ever exorcised has taken up residence behind it. “Mob,” he says. “Mob,” he says again. “Tell me, Mob. Look at me and tell me. Tell me truthfully. Do I look cursed to you?”

Mob looks at him, and tells him truthfully. “No.”

“Well, you didn’t look very long,” says Reigen. “Let’s just stand here for a moment, like so, and you can have another look, a nice long look, and really think about it…”

(There’s nothing strange about being called back to exorcise the same haunted photocopier six days in a row. It must just be a very haunted photocopier.)

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