''nobody has ever looked at me the way you just did'' because maybe you just pay attention for once in your life

anonymous asked:

Prompt : malec casually shows PDA in the middle of the institute. 5 times they show PDA and nobody says a thing + 1 time that someone (FINALLY) did

Hi anon!
Thank you so much for thinking of me for a prompt and for this prompt specifically because I’m a sucker for loved up, cute Malec! Here you go, I hope you like it!
Also, shout out to @llycea who picked the “fluff” option!

Jace is pissed.

It’s late and there’s a werewolf who’s terrorising half of New York and it’s late and Luke isn’t answering his phone and it’s late and he doesn’t want to deal with the bureaucracy of the whole thing and go handle a feral werewolf on his own. And it’s late. And Clary is asleep in their room, and he’d very much like to go back to that as soon as possible.

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Past Lovers, New Comers

Requested by anon: Can I get a shameless imagine and carl Gallagher.The reader is like 2 yrs older than him and 5 mons. B4 he goes to juvie they have sex and she find out she’s pregnant and when he comes back she has a 1mon. Old baby girl and he’s really soft when it comes to the baby like he calls the baby princess and stuff but other than that he’s really tough. (Can it be a mixed girl plz I’m Puerto Rican and black and have really curly hair and a Beyoncé skin tone) And after Dom cheats on him him and the reader get together.

Pairing: Carl Gallagher x Reader (OC)

Word count: 1.342

Warnings: It’s been a while, I’m rusty.

A/N: I literally wrote this based on clips and fan edits because there is no fudging website where I can watch this show smh. Anyway, my worry here is that I’m rusty so… FEEDBACK IS SUPER ULTRA DUPER HIGHLY APPRECIATED. <3

Enjoy!

Originally posted by gallavichlovies

(This gif is so cute omg)

-

“Don’t worry, I will make juvie my bitch.” He had said, and (Y/N) was confident he would kick ass like usual, care-free and badass like only he could be. However, the things he left behind were too much to let go as easily as he had done.

But he had no idea.

She could still remember their last night together; his plump lips over her soft skin, his groans every time he thrusted in, and the tight grip he held on her hips. She remembered the drops of sweat that formed on his forehead, the contrast between his white skin mixed with her bronzed one, and the way his eyes shut when he came in.

He came in.

Carl always said that she was his golden girl and he had promised to stay safe for her, and to always protect her no matter in how many dangerous messes he got involved in. So far, he had kept half of that promise.

She had to leave after finding out about her consequences. They hadn’t been careful, they hadn’t thought it through. They had left the heat of the moment to take control over their bodies, falling for their primitive instincts and ignoring logic.

And now she had to carry another live.

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Full breakdown on how I relate look what you made me do to all the past times I've been sexually assaulted

“ I don’t like your little games”

-When I was 11 and swimming in the public pool at the YMCA and this 30 year old man asked if he could play with me in the pool and pick me up and throw me in the water but he “had to touch me here first (he digitally raped me) ( I didnt even know what a Vagina is or does as that age)
-When I was 12 and my dads best friend who lived in my house would tell my parents he would watch after me when they went out but instead forcibly touched me and made me touch him. And he would bang on my bedroom door when I was pressing up against it shut because it didn’t have a lock, he would offer me to play outside with him on my trampoline just so he could be on top of me and suck in my nipples again but I screamed to leave me alone. When the guy in sophomore year of high school who I had my first real big crush on told me I could trust him so I told him all about my life and he was my first kiss but then right after, he threw me on the ground grabbed my hand and made me give him a hand job and then went around school taunting me by mocking me with my secrets I told him and told people I was a slut. And he call me during the middle of the night threatening that if I didn’t send him nudes he would make worse rumors and spread them around. When the 20 year old guy who took my virginity from me raped me when I was 16 tried to email me, text me and follow me on Instagram as if time passing had changed everything. BITCH DONT TALK TO ME.
When the guy who molested me outside of a bar gave me the excuse the next day that he was to drunk to know what he was doing even though I saw him get in his car and drive away and text me that night he made it home safe. IF YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO DRIVE YOURE SOBER ENOUGH TO NOT SEXUALLY MOLEST SOMEONE WHO IS TO INTOXICATED TO STAND STRAIGHT.

” I don’t like your tilted stage “

AKA an uneven playing field.

When the guy who "had to” digitally rape me in the YMCA swimming pool knew i was to young to know what was happening to me and I was easy to listen to adults so he told me not tell anyone so I stayed quiet about it until I was 17.
-When the guy who was my dads best friend knew I was a caring kid and wouldnt tell anyone so my dad wouldn’t loose a friend so he took advantage of me. And when I finally told my dad and he made his friend come to the house to confront him DUDE WAS SPEAKING 100% Spanish so I couldnt know what he was saying against me.
-When the guy I trusted in high school majorly taunted me outside school and was so sneaky about how he did on school grounds so he wouldnt get in trouble
-When the guy who raped me at age 16 asked me if i was ready and I said “I dont know, I think I am” but he was controlling and forceful and went on top of me and I hated it and was to scared to run away or tell him to get off me.
-When the guy who molested me outside the bar did it where no one could see and theres not cameras so there was no proof and he apologized the next day.

“The role you made me play, of the fool, no I dont like you”
All of these people made me play the delusional crazy girl whose making shit up for attention

“ i don’t like your perfect crime,
How you laugh when you lie

-When I was tired of staying silent for ten years so I finally decided to report something horrible happening to me , at the age of 22 sobbing in the car feeling worthless and like nothing but a sex toy, like my feelings dont matter because all Ill ever be is my body and nothing more, I picked up the phone and called the police, they told me that because I was talking to the guy in the bar before him molesting me he probably thought I wanted it so they told me I should accept his apology. They told me that because I cant remember because I was to intoxicated to remember clearly if he forcibly grabbed my hand and put it down his pants or if I put my hands down there it doesn’t even count as sexual assault. Even tho I KNO I was screaming to get out.

"You said the gun was mine, isn’t cool, no, I don’t like you”(oh!)

They always tell you to report things but then when you do they dont do anything to help

“But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time, Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time”

-After being denied of reporting my most recent sexual assault I was in hysterics sobbing in my car realizing that anyone can do anything they want to me and feel like such a low life and absolutely nothing and get away with it. Snot and tears were everywhere and I was messaging my friends saying I cant live like this anymore, whats the point? When Im just going to be tossed from guy to guy simply for their pleasure while they take my dignity from me, when all I get is cat called and harassed and pressured to give myself to them
I lifted my head up and realize that if 22 year old erica can’t get justice then 11year -16 year old Erica can, NO MATTER what those abusers say to deny it or beat around the bush they WILL go fucking down because I was a MINOR. And theyre not getting out of it with that crime

“I’ve got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined”

-after realizing im gonna come for blood I picked up the phone and called up the police dept and said I’m reporting a sexual assault from 10 years ago and this was at midnight when the police showed up at my house to get a written statement and proceeded to list off every other time I was sexually assaulted . To which the officer accused me of “cop shopping” BITCH YEA. Because I didn’t get what I wanted from the first one. BITCH YOU RIGHT IM GONNA KEEP REPORTING IT UNTIL SOMEONE LISTENS.

“I check it once, then I check it twice, oh”

-Did they really sexually assault me if I didnt scream “no” and “rape” and push and shove my way out ? Yes okay ! Just gotta double check I know what happened to me before others tell me over exaggerating!

“Ooh, look what you made me
Look what you made me do
Look what you just made me
Look what you just made me
Ooh, look what you made me
Look what you made me do
Look what you just made me
Look what you just made me do”

-the next morning after listing off these names to the rude police officer I slept until noon, got up in my grown up boss ass outfit, got in my red buggy and zoomed to the YMCA with my sunglasses feeling like a bad ass scene from a movie, I catwalked into the YMCA to the chorus of LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO and I said I need to see a manager and report an incident then that manager came over and I told her everything that happened in that public pool to me and she was dumb founded because they have a “no tolerance policy”

“I don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me, you asked me for a place, locked me out then threw a feast (WHAT?!)”

-Every single one of these manipulating sexual abusers have affected me in so many ways for the rest of my life. I went to couseling in high school and my recent new Doctor , those two told me that a lot of how I act, talk and think has to do with the after affects and symptoms of being sexually abused and that a portion in my FUCKING BRAIN paused on developing and has a fog over it and cant pay attention to things and I am easily forgetful and space out way more often than the normal person. I DONT LIKE HOW THESE SICK FUCKS HAVE THE KEYS TO THE PERSON I AM TODAY. I don’t like that the like psychos who molested me when I was a pre teen took something from me I never had,finding myself at such a crucial age and my confidence I had as a kid.

“The world moves on, another day, another drama, drama.”

While I’ve been in the deep state of depression and feeling empty I stand there and notice how everyone else lives goes on and theyre happy mean while Im dead on the inside

“But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma”

-But while Im standing there feeling like everyone can just pretend like it never happened to me even when I told them , I cant help but think of the the sexual abusers getting put in jail or getting their lives taken away from them because they deserve that.

“And then the world moves on, but one things for sure
Maybe I got mine, but you all get yours”

-Maybe for now my karma for trying to go out for fun was to be molested by a boy ll be punished for what you did.

“ I don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me be the actress starring in your bad dreams
I dont trust nobody and nobody trusts me”

-when the boy in high school spread all these awful rumors about me and showed the nudes I sent him (because he threatened me) to his classes, I lost friends at school , no one wanted to talk to me and in return I was left being fearful for the rest of my life that anyone could leave me at any moment. .. “ I don’t trust nobody”
-I turned to all the people whose ever told me “ I’ll be there for you if you ever need anything "but when that something i need is to tell someone about how I was sexually assaulted they tell everything except things that will actually lift my soul up and make me feel better but no one cares enough to actually check up on me after hearing a horrible traumatic thing happening to me because I don’t have the energy to come to people myself every day and come forward on how low I feel. I had people tell me to "just go home” when I’d call them up sobbing in my car and ask them if I could come over for them to comfort me. I’ve had people literally leave me because I confronted them about only sending me a sad face or “I’m sorry” and nothing more. LIKE. MAYBE SEND ME THE CLEAN SOEECH IDK. I’m desperate to hear some words of encouragement but no people HATE confrontation So much they’ll just leave me instead of owning up and offering me anything more then a sad face through a text and their sympathy.

“I’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams”

-Im coming for revenge , I’m gonna make you pay for what you did to me so I’ll be in your nightmares

“I’m sorry the old Erica can’t come to the phone right now, why? OH , cuz she’s dead”

It’s been months since I was sexually assaulted last and the scared old fragile me is dead and I’m becoming this new fierce woman who protects myself.

I have two open sexual assault cases open right now and I’m looking for mental health help and okay, I’m overly distracted , it’s like there’s this fog over my mind and I can’t see or think clearly and it’s affecting my every day life, I can’t do well at work and when I’m in a normal conversation , and cry myself to sleep when I feel worthless. But I’ve found time can heal most anything.

P.s Taylor I admire you so much for defending yourself during your sexual assault trial, I heard you got sassy.. I would have to… it’s pretty annoying when you have to relive the incident numerous amount of times and people don’t believe you so you have to say it over and over again until you just start to cry because you just want justice.

My parents didn’t report to the police about the guy who was my dads best friend touching me when I was 12 because they knew all the interviews and questions I would be asked and they didn’t want me to relive it m, I was 12 and scared….. 10 years later I got the guts to do but only because i can’t live like his anymore unneeded something to matter so i went for justice, I had a interview for a detective and police man in an office in the police station, it was video recorded and everything, they asked me about every little detail of all the 4 times he molested me, it was awful and I cried so much during the whole thing I told them how he took something away from me I never really had as a 12 year old.. my confidence and finding who I am. And saying that out loud made me cry even more but I felt like it was necessary to say so they could believe me and see how much he hurt me. They said it’s going to take a long to time to be able to find the him and when they do I need to be prepared for him to deny it and if so we might go to court. I Do NOT have the money for that at all but taylor, I heard you are donating to foundations that help girls defend themselves and I might have to use that and in SO BEYOND THANKFUL. For those foundations and for you helping out.

They thanked me for my time and as the detective walked me out to the the main door she said “ maybe you’ll be able to inspire other girls and let them know it’s never to late to report it” and in that moment I felt so inspired… now I feel SO passionate about being a mental health advocate, I have my AA degree so I’ll be going back to college and get my psychology degree. I’m gonna kick ass.

P.s.s I’m sorry if this post triggered anyone with anything I talked about but I really wanted to let taylor know how I relate to her music

P.s.s Taylor i am SO sorry for what you had to go through being sexually assaulted, it really does turn a light off on your personality and I wish I could just take all your pain away, you have been there for me through EVERYTHING and I just want to be there for you and hold your hands through every step . @taylorswift

anonymous asked:

head canon rfa + v and saeran with a chubby, insecure mc? like they have a lot of stretch marks and they hate the way their their stomach sticks out from their body

Just saying, physical beauty is severely overrated. Sorry these are so lame.

Yoosung:
-He’s had his share of self loathing. He always hated how unmanly he was (which is completely false).
-Because of you, he’s gained confidence.
-He would notice how you avoided wearing tight clothes or letting him touch you.
-Yoosung first thought maybe that kind of thing just made you uncomfortable and didn’t question it.
-But then he started to notice you eating less and less. He became concerned.
-Was it the food? He could make something else you’d rather eat.
-Upon further investigation, asking you if you are going to eat, he finds out he you hate your stomach, so you’re cutting down on the amount of food you eat.
-He’s really confused because you weren’t overeating before, and now you’re under-eating. It’s not healthy.
-You honestly don’t need to change anything about yourself because you’re already a God(dess).
-He’ll show you encouraging and body positive things he’d find on the Internet to give you and extra confidence boost.

Zen:
-It’s pretty common for Zen to be compared to (and compare himself to) a Greek God
-So that kind of adds to your insecurities. This guys works out everyday and is extremely fit because of it. You can’t help but think you look like shit next to him.
-He saw the way you’d look at your reflection or the way you looked down at your stomach or thighs. It broke his heart.
-He used to hate his appearance and he hates that you have to go through the same thing. It’s such a shitty feeling to not be comfortable in your own skin. You don’t deserve to feel that way.
-He’ll make extra sure to compliment the parts of you you seem to dislike to help boost your confidence. He’ll make sure you don’t feel jealous of super skinny, borderline anorexic women he works with because even though their weight isn’t healthy, he has caught you staring at them with a frown.
-Zen worships you and your body because both are perfect just the way they are.

Jaehee:
-She actually felt herself fall more in love with you when she saw you for the first time. She absolutely loved your body type.
-One day, while you were talking, you mentioned that you can’t stand your stomach.
-Jaehee was surprised because she’s always idolized you and your body. She’s loved how you look from the first day she saw you. It wasn’t what made her fall in love with you -your personality did that- but you were so beautiful she couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster.
-You tell her that you also hate the stretch marks, and she’s a bit offended. She also has some stretch marks.
-“Do you think stretch marks are ugly..?”
-You could hear how nervous she was. “Oh, no, I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. They’re not ugly.”
-“Then why do you judge your body so harshly compared to how you judge me and everyone else?”

Jumin:
-You were trying on some clothes Jumin had bought for you because they “reminded me of you.”
-He was sitting in a chair while you were changing in the bathroom. The clothes he had bought you were a bit short. You didn’t like how you could see the stretch marks on your thighs.
-You were refusing to come out of the restroom you were changing in despite Jumin constantly saying “I’m sure you look beautiful. Just come out already.”
-Eventually, you realize you couldn’t argue with him forever, and because you’ll be with him the rest of your life he’ll probably see your stretch marks eventually…
-You finally open the door just hoping he won’t be too disgusted.
-“Hmm…” Jumin looked deep in thought as he looked at you. You grew nervous, until he added “That color suits you. I’d say it being out your eyes.”
-Huh?
-“But you can see the stretch marks on my legs.”
-“…Your point? I don’t see how that’s an issue.”

Saeyoung:
-He doesn’t eat healthily or take care of himself, yet he’s still so thin. It makes you, and honestly everyone, envious.
-Since you’ve come into his life, his bad habits have died down and he’s starting to take better care of himself.
-You’ve been taking better care of yourself in return, but that doesn’t mean you still don’t hate how your body looks.
-Seven used to make self deprecating jokes all the time so you thought he would be chill if you joined in.
-So you casually made a joke about how gross your body is.
-But Saeyoung isn’t laughing. You mentally curse, feeling awkward.
-“…Why would you say that?”
-You feel so awkward, embarrassed, and guilty, so just stay quiet.
-“Do you really feel that way?”
-Quiet.
-He took that as a yes. “_____, don’t think that about yourself. Stretch marks, weight, none of that stuff matters. Why do you see it as a problem? It’s just something else about you to fall in love with, like your eyes or your smile. Everything about you is stunning, please don’t forget that.”

V:
-Because of his poor sight, he doesn’t pay attention to details often, which means he barely even noticed your body type.
-Once you’re both comfortable with adding physical affection into your relationship, he noticed you were still a bit hesitant to let him touch your body. He read this as you weren’t actually comfortable with touching yet, so he asked you about it.
-He wasn’t expecting you to tell him you don’t want him to feel how big your stomach and your thighs are.
-V is so confused.
-Is it an issue? He’s never seen your body type as an issue. Ever. He loves your body because it’s your body.
-“Don’t say things like that, _____. You’re beautiful.”
-“Of course you’d say that. You’re almost blind.”
-“I don’t need eyesight to know you’re the most gorgeous being on this planet.
-Admittedly, it was a bit cheesy, but he meant every word of it.

Saeran:
-I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Saeran could not give any less of a fuck about appearance.
-You’re the one who has saved him and believed in him and supported him when nobody else would. Who cares if you have stretch marks or you think your stomach is too big? You’re a miracle worker and he could never find the vocabulary to describe how amazing you are to him.
-He’s honestly really sad that you hate your body because in his eyes everything about you is perfect.
-He wants you to not care about looks like he does, but he realizes that you truly dislike your weight.
-You’re the only light he’s ever had in his life. What you look like doesn’t matter. All that matters is what kind of person you are. Saeran strongly believes this and will try to pass that knowledge onto you.

Joy

Pairing: Dean Ambrose/You

Summary: A selection of moments from the journey that is having Dean’s baby. A.n. I seem to write a lot of baby!fics. Ah well heres another for ya.

Tags: @the-geekgoddes @wweobsession1029

You pace up and down the hallway of the hotel. This must be your third or fourth circuit by now but you’re a little nervous. You’re almost certain you’ve got the right hotel and if Seth gave you the right instructions then you should have the right floor. The only hitch so far is that piece of paper in your wallet with the hotel information on says room 23 and the door in front of you says 203. You’re hoping the Seth just got the number slightly wrong or you wrote it down incorrectly, otherwise knocking on the door is going to be pretty embarrassing.

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Things Like This Take Time

Think Outside the Lovesqaure week, day 7: Soulmate AU (of your choice).

Fic title: Things Like This Take Time
Part: 1/1
Rating: General (whoah what)
Fandom/s: Miraculous Ladybug
Pairing/s: Alyanette
Category: categories are not my strong point
Summary: WHAT IF ALYA AND MARINETTE NEVER MADE FRIENDS THOUGH???
Real Summary: People say that when you make a mark on your skin, it shows up on your soulmate’s skin too. So when scrawled reminders and tiny designs or drawings begin to draw themselves onto Alya’s skin, she makes it her mission to find out who’s behind it all…

read it on ao3


Paying attention in class wasn’t usually a problem for Alya. But when the messy handwriting and doodles began to appear on the back of her hand, wrist and forearm, she lost any interest in physics and essays and instead focused on the therapeutic scribbling. 
“What are you looking at?” Alix asked, peering over Alya’s shoulder.
“Shh!” Alya hissed, elbowing Alix in the stomach- except her elbow collided with her ribs, since the girl sitting next to her was so short.
“Oh, come on, Mme Bustier won’t care, it’s end of term,” Alix rolled her eyes. “Lemme see-”
“Alix, no-”
“No way!” Alix gasped, yanking Alya’s arm over. “Are they Soulmate drawings?”
“Will you be quiet?” Alya snapped. “And did you forget that my arm is attached to the rest of my body?” she pulled back, rubbing her arm.
“Your soulmate must be forgetful.” Alix snarked. “They keep writing reminders down.”

“So?” Alya frowned. “I don’t see your point.”
“There isn’t one. I was just making a statement.”
“Keep your statements to yourself,” Alya whispered. “And shut up, Adrien and Nino can hear us, they keep turning around to look at us weirdly!”
“Who cares!” Alix moaned, slouching in her seat. 
“Alix, will you be quiet?” Kim complained quietly from behind them. “Some of us are actually paying attention!”
“Shut up, Kim, nobody cares,” Alix spun around and pulled a face at him, before turning back and doodling in her notebook, grumbling to herself.
Alya focused once more on the black ink crawling along her skin, now etching in the messy outline of a skirt- then it scrawled in some labels as to what the skirt could be made of, what colour it was, and numerous tiny pattern details.

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Low Heavens

Anonymous said: So I saw this quote today and I was wondering if you could do a Dean/reader oneshot based off it? “You don’t know you’ve fallen for someone until after it happens.”

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I’m addicted to your writing, it’s so good! I was wondering if you could do one where the reader confesses her love to Dean and he doesn’t feel the same way, but after a few weeks/months he starts to fall for her? Whether or not the reader takes him at the end is up to you :) Thank you so much! <3

@-sidetracked- said: Can we make this like, a dean story please where like dean is in love with the reader and he isn’t supposed to be so he tried to forget like all the memories and stuff but she still comes around for Sam and cas and Charlie so he can’t and it’s really hard for him

A/N: Part 2! As always, I appreciate feedback! <3

Word count: 2,027

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: swearing.

Run Away (Part I) High Hells (Part III) Train Wreck (Part IV) Just Not Tonight (Part V)

Originally posted by green-circles

Theme songs: Kyrie Eleison - The Cathedral Singers, Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy. “Let Go” Series Spotify Playlist

Your name: submit What is this?

————

The room was dimly lit, soft lights at the end of the hallway reflected by the wooden benches, their shiny gloss a mirror to the small bulbs that shone on the cross and altar at the end of the room. A heavy silence hung in the atmosphere, floating in the air like an unspeakable electricity that was only broken by the occasional sniffle or whisper of holy words.

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Adore - Sam Winchester x Reader (Alpha/Omega & Teacher/Student) - Part 2

Title: Adore

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Word count: 2,779

Warnings: Age gap, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Teacher/Student Relationship (Reader is over 18 though)

Summary: Sam is finally happy to meet his Omega after so much time of searching. But things never were easy for the Winchesters. So as it is expected being with her is not easy. Especially when she is his student and he her teacher.

Read Part 1 here!

“Damn it Sam. Really?” Dean asked, running a hand down his face.

“Uh yeah, yeah. She’s a senior, came to our school this year” Sam said with a tight smile.

“Oh dear” Angel mumbled running a hand through her hair “Are you- are you sure it’s her? That she is your mate?” she asked him.

“Yeah, yeah. I-I can sense it, you know. I could sense it from the very first moment and now that she’s 18 it’s- it’s crystal clear.” he said fidgeting with his hands.

“Well, at least she is legal” Dean muttered and Angel looked at him with a glare.

“That’s not the important thing here, Dean. And I don’t think that would be her main put-off, anyway. Sam is still her teacher, and if their situation is anything like ours then this is going to be really hard for her. I mean-” she turned to look at Sam"- think about what she would go through if something started going on between you and her. What (Y/n) would go through and above all what you would. It’s not going to be easy Sam. I’m sorry to tell you but if your try to pursue her then you have to go really slow and even then-“ she let out a sad sigh ”-I can’t guaranty you that she will want to be in a relationship with you. Even if she has feelings for you, which I am sure she does, she’ll probably just push you away for you own good.“

"Yeah” Sam croaked out, a deep frown was on his face and anyone could see the look of desperation in his eyes.

“But-” Dean spoke up “-That’s what Angel did as well, right? She pushed me away because I was her teacher and she didn’t want me to get in trouble. Sure she screwed majorly-” he said looking for a second at the fake glare on Angel’s face “-But in the end, we’re together right? Maybe (Y/n) might try to push you away but that will only mean that she cares about you. That she doesn’t want you to get in trouble because she- has feelings for you.” he said trying to encourage his younger brother.

“I didn’t screw up. You were the one that didn’t tell me I was your mate from the beginning. But…” she let out a small sigh and looked at Sam “He’s right, Sam. This is not going to be easy and she most probably will try to push you away but- you have to keep trying. You need to try and see if she feels something for you and once you realize that then- talk to her. Tell her everything. Tell her that you are her mate and she yours.” she spoke with a soft smile.

“Tell her before it’s too late”

~ A few days later ~

You let out a sigh - one of relief and sadness - as you heard the bell that signaled that the period was over being heard. Just one more period and school would be over for the day. You gathered your books, waiting for all of the students to get out of the class before you could. You knew that if you tried to go out before them or along with them then you most probably were going to end up on the floor just like when you had first come to this school. You had realized then, while trying to get out of class along with everybody else, that these students weren’t really enthusiastic about lessons. Getting out of class once the bell rang seemed to be their only thought.

You thanked anyone up there for your good luck, though. You were sure that day that you were going to get run over by all of them, since none of them payed any attention to your falling during that time. None of them except Sam. Oh dear, Sam. You had been having a lesson with him and once the bell rang everybody - along with you - swarm towards the door. As it seemed you had tripped and fell but nobody seemed to pay real attention to that - other than Sam of course who had immediately told everybody to stop. So they had done, moving to the side so that he could walk through and of course straight to you. You remember it as i it was just yesterday.

He had knelt down, to take a closer look at you. He extended one hand towards you, offering it as help for you to get up. The ever-adorable frown was on his face and that look of concern that was present whenever he was worried about someone was there as well. You remember the feeling his soft hand on yours and the soothing feeling his other hand rubbing your back brought to you. And of course you clearly remember the heat that rose in your cheeks when you realized what a fool you’d made of yourself and how everybody was staring at your close interaction with Sam. Most girls were even glaring at you because of the interest he seemed to show in you, because - let’s be honest - Sam was definitely not your average teacher. He was handsome in all sorts of ways and could definitely be a model. Yet- he chose to become a teacher and… the center of fantasies for lots of girls in the school.

…Maybe yours as well.

“(Y/n)?” said-man’s voice broke your trail of thoughts you hadn’t even realized you were so engrossed in.

“Y-yes?” you looked at him an innocent look.

He chuckled slightly and spoke up “Nothing. I was just wondering if you were going to stay here for the next period as well. No that I mind anyway” he said with a smile and you felt heat rise in your cheeks.

“S-sorry, sir. I was waiting for everyone to leave before I could get out. I just started thinking about things and didn’t realize everyone was already gone” you muttered and taking hold of your books you got up from your seat.

“I realized that. Don’t want you falling again. Even though I would love having to come to your rescue again.” he said with a small chuckle “But (Y/n), please, just call me Sam” he added and you felt a smile form on your lips.

“I apologize sir- I mean Sam. I’m just used to it, sorry” you said and he smiled as well.

“It’s ok. Just please don’t. It makes me feel old” he said making A face and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“But you’re not old, Sam. You’re just what? Twenty nine? Not old, definitely.” you said with a small chuckle.

“So you know exactly my age now, huh? Are you keeping tabs on me Miss (Y/l/n)?” he asked raising an eyebrow and you felt your eyes widen.

“Wh-what? N-no of course no! I-I- I mean I heard some girls saying it and-” you started stuttering only to be cut off by him laughing.

“Relax (Y/n). I was just joking. I know. My age is not a secret here, anyway. Along with a couple other things. Thank you, by the way. For not thinking I’m old and that” he said with a small smile.

“No need to thank me, it’s the truth” you said with a small shrug and saw his smile widen.

“Well, I’m glad that you think I’m not old, then” he mumbled.

Silence followed for a while but it was not uncomfortable at all. On the contrary. It felt as if things were clicking into place with you two just looking at each other, not saying a thing and being just free to think of anything you wanted to.

Oh.

You cleared your throat as you felt your cheeks burn and averted your eyes from him. Him doing the same.

“So-” he spoke up “-You haven’t told me. What do you think about my lessons?”

“Your lessons? Oh uh well, at least they’re not boring.” you let out a chuckle as he did the same “I mean it’s history and although it was always my favorite subject, my previous teacher managed to make me not want to see the book in my life ever again.”

“That terrible huh?” he asked with a smile and you nodded.

“Yeah, unfortunately. Which is why I’ve kind of fallen behind and not doing as well as expected. The fact that I’m going to be sitting for exams in that lesson at the end of the year terrifies me. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do” you ended up mumbling and looked down at your books.

“Well- you could always ask somebody for help. Maybe some private tutor would help?” he suggested and you shook your head.

“I’d wish but there is not much time left. The exams are far approaching and I don’t think I have enough time to find one” you shrugged with a sigh.

“Well, and I believe that- you just did” he said, making your head snap in his direction.

“What?” you asked in a low voice.

“I mean I would be willing to help you” he said with a small shrug “You don’t find my lessons boring with is a plus and I don’t really have anything to do after school. So I could help you with History. I would be happy to, in fact. That is… if you want to of course?” he ended up asking.

“I don’t know” you bit your lip in thought.

You seriously contemplated on whether you should tell him yes or no. And if you were completely honest with yourself you wanted more than anything to tell him yes. You wanted more than anything to get to spend some time with him after school, even if it was just studying, but you also feared of what could happen during that time.

Nonsense you thought He’s a grown man, and sure hell would never do anything with any of his students. Much less me.

“Yes. Yes of course. That would be very much helpful” you said with a smile that only got bigger when you saw Sam’s face lit up.

“Great. That’s great. Well, then we’ll just have to set place and time.” he said and you bit your lip thinking.

“Well, uhm how about today? Five o’ clock, my place? My parents will be gone so- I mean, we will have some peace cause yeah, studying history needs focus and yeah…” you trailed off, a blush forming on your cheeks when you realized what you actually had said.

What the hell (Y/n)?! you thought to yourself.

You cursed yourself under your breath when you thought about what had just come out of your mouth. Great, now he was going to think you were just one of those girls that openly hit on guys even though they might be older than them and their teachers.

He’s probably going to decline and then say that something has come up and he won’t be able to come at all you bitterly thought again.

“Great, then” he smiled and you let out a small sigh of relief “Oh I just need your address, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh yes, yes of course” you said sheepishly, leaning in to write your address on the paper he held out for you.

“Alright so… I’ll see you after school? Five o’ clock?” you asked once again wanting to hear him confirm it but most of all because you wanted to make sure you were not dreaming.

“It’s a date” he winked at you and you bit your lip to keep the smile from appearing on your face.

“It’s a date” you whispered, unable to hide the smile even as you exited the classroom.

~~~

You found yourself unable to sit still for more than five seconds once school was over. Your parents were gone about an hour ago and they would be gone till next morning. They had told you the reason but you honestly had not paid much attention. You actually hadn’t paid attention to what anyone else had told you after you talked with Sam.

Your mind was constantly on him - not that it wasn’t every moment before that - but you seriously found yourself unable of thinking about anything else. And at the same time you felt so full of energy that you had cleaned every single room of your house. Your room was the first one but you now actually doubted whether you should ask Sam study in your room or in the living room. Should you or not? It would seem absolutely crazy to him and you were really scared of what he was going to think about you.

Sure you’ve had had a crush on the man ever since the first day you met him and you were not going to deny it. A crush that had developed into a lot more when you got to know him better. Not just during lessons but even when he would accompany you during lunch, seeing as you hadn’t managed to make many friends, or when he would see you in the library reading some book and he would come from behind, scaring you and of course making the librarian scold you - while you earned glares from some students.

Now that you actually realized it you had come closer to the man more than anyone else in the school. It was hard not to, after all. He was a truly amazing person. Child at heart, always caring and sweet. Ready to help anyone that needed him. You had even come to find out that he’d had a hard past. His father was always strict with him, maybe because he expected a lot from him, but that only made Sam want more to pursue a different career than that of the ‘family business’ as he called it. His father had disagreed in the beginning, of course, but over the course of time and a lot of convincing from Sam’s mother and he finally got to accept it.

You let out a breath as you watched around you searching for something to occupy yourself with while waiting for Sam to come. Studying was out of the question especially when not only could you not stand still but you not even so much focus on reading a paragraph without thinking about him.

And it got even worse you got to think about how it would be for you to be that close to him, in the same room, just you and him. His scent which you always managed to smell was definitely going to drive you crazy. You honestly doubted you were going to focus with him that close to you- no, you were sure you were not going to.

“The hell have I gotten myself into” you mumbled to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

Your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest, beating so rapidly that it hurt. Your stomach felt tight and heavy like a rock and the butterflies dancing around in it made it all the more worse. Your palms were sweating and shaking at the same time and you honestly felt as if you were about to throw up. That strange feeling running through your whole body was there as well. A feeling you still had to pinpoint. It honestly scared you not knowing what was going with you. It reminded you of how you felt when he was around only worse, now, that he was not around you. The feeling only grew when he was away from you and whenever he came close it felt as if he brought some kind of peace within you.

“What the hell is wrong with me” you said in a desperate voice, putting your face n your hands.
Silence had surrounded you, the only sound was your heavy breathing and ticking sound of the clock - the clock you had looked at for more times than you could count.

Soon the silence was broken by another sound. The doorbell ringing.

Your breath caught on your throat and you had to remind yourself that this was nothing more than him coming to help you with History. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Sam was just here to help you with History. He was older than you and your teacher. Nothing would ever happen between you and him. Nothing-

“Hey” his face brightened up with a smile as soon as you opened the door.

“Hey” you breathed out.

Oh boy, here we go you thought to yourself.

neeverwhere  asked:

When you have time: (616): Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do.

+ (602): I’m missing my left shoe, and there’s a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says “HAHA BITCH” Any explanation for this? (anon request)

____________________________________________________

Derek says, “It’s not so bad,” and Laura makes a muffled noise that sounds suspiciously like she’s trying to tamp down on laughter.

“Are you referring to living with two juniors, or are you referring to living with two juniors one of whom is the guy you’ve been massively, embarrassingly crushing on since high school?” she asks, and Derek can picture her lifted brow.

“I—it’s fine,” he insists, ignores her teasing, because it’s all she’s been doing since Derek moved in with Scott and Stiles. Scott and Stiles, who introduce each other as brothers to everyone, who are awfully overzealous, and loud, and obnoxious; who talked Derek into living with them because they found this great apartment that’s too expensive between the two of them. Derek’s the fool who couldn’t say no; who couldn’t say no to Stiles when he said, “Derek, please. Do it for me?”

He’s hopeless. And a moron.

And Laura is laughing at him, she enjoys this more than is appropriate, but that’s always been the case with her. Derek sighs, resigned.

“Okay, come on, baby bro, lay it on me,” she offers once she stops laughing; Derek can hear her inhale deeply to calm herself down. “You know I’m here to listen.”

Derek pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s not so bad,” he tries again, because he can’t admit that it’s driving him crazy. It’s not even the living with two juniors, it’s not the noisy video game nights, or the spontaneous showers at three-thirty in the morning; it’s living with Stiles and being around him when he’s—domestic. Homey. It’s getting to see Stiles walking around only in boxers, or seeing him sleep-ruffled and bleary-eyed with the most adorable and sexy bed head Derek’s ever seen; it’s coming home to find the apartment smelling like his favourite casserole, because Stiles made dinner, smiles at Derek when he sees him standing in the doorway; it’s Stiles flopping down next to Derek on the couch on lazy Sundays with a jar of Nutella in one hand and two spoons in the other. It’s walking past Stiles’ room at night sometimes, on the way to the bathroom, hearing him moan and gasp, when Derek knows he’s alone in there.

It’s bad. It’s terrible. Derek’s gonna die.

Keep reading

Rowaelin Discussion Post

Subject: Abuse? 

I’ve seen a lot of posts suddenly comparing Rowan to Tamlin, calling Rowan abusive, dragging the Rowaelin ship and even received a rather upset anon message about it so here’s the another book analysis since the first two were so well received x x

The main reasons I see people calling Rowan ‘abusive’ are a) He punched Aelin in HoF and b) He bit Aelin in HoF. Based on these complaints I will analyze Rowan and Aelin’s relationship development as well as various friendships in the ToG series. Let’s take a look. 

Rowan Whitethorn is first introduced in Heart of Fire. He spent days in his hawk form watching Celaena Sardothein get drunk, start fights, brawl, and pass out. Why?

“Well, here was one of Maeve’s elite warriors.” p. 15

“I’m taking you where you’ve been summoned.” p. 17

Rowan Whitethorn, a Prince of Doranelle and soldier bound to Maeve by his blood oath, was sent by the Dark Queen to retrieve Aelin and bring her to Doranelle. 

“Talking to anyone was too taxing. Which made Rowan the perfect companion: he didn’t say a single word to her.” p. 35

“You shall come to me once Prince Rowan decides you have mastered your gifts. He shall train you here.” p. 58

Rowan followers orders - because he has no choice. He was told to bring Aelin to Mistward, he does. He was told to train Aelin to use her gifts, he does. Because he is bound to this oath by blood. There’s a passage in QoS, when Aelin is fighting Manon and she commands Rowan to run - a command with the force of the blood oath behind it, which he was forced to obey. These are the kinds of commands he receives from Maeve and must follow. Gods knows he doesn’t want to be here.

“And then she said one of the foulest things she’d ever uttered in her life, bathing in the pure hate of it. “Fae like you make me understand the King of Adarlan’s actions a bit more, I think.” 
Faster than she could sense, faster than anything had a right to be, he punched her.” 
She shifted enough to keep her nose from shattering but took the blow on her mouth. She hit the wall, whacked her head, and tasted blood. Good.
He struck again with that immortal speed - or would have. But with equally unnerving swiftness, he halted his second blow before it fractured her jaw and snarled in her face, low and vicious.
Her breathing turned ragged as she purred, “Do it.” 
He looked more interested in ripping out her throat than in talking, but he held the line he’d drawn. “Why should I give you what you want?” 
“You’re just as useless as the rest of your brethren.” 
He let out a soft, lethal laugh raked claws down her temper. “If you’re that desperate to eat stone, go ahead: I’ll let you try to land the next punch.”
She knew better than to listen. But there was such a roar in her blood that she could no longer see right, think right, breathe right. So she damned the consequences to hell as she swung.” p. 62

“Next time you say anything like that,” he said without looking over his shoulder, “I’ll have you chopping wood for a month.” p. 63

“Everyone pulls their weight here. Princesses included. No one’s above some hard labor, least of all you.”
And didn’t she have the scars to prove it. Not that she’d tell him that. She didn’t know what she’d do if he learned about Endovier and mocked her for it - or pitied her. “So my training includes being a scullery maid?”
“Part of it.” Again she could have sworn she could read the unspoken words in his eyes: And I’m going to savor every damn second of your misery.
“For an old bastard, you certainly haven’t bothered to learn manners at any point in your long existence.” Never mind that he looked to be in his late twenties.
“Why should I waste flattery on a child who’s already in love with herself?” p. 64

“Lashing out at Rowan like that, saying the things she did, trying to fight with him… She’d deserved that punch. More than deserved it. If she was being honest with herself, she was barely passable as a human being these days.” p. 65

First off, I’d like to point out that both before and after the brawl, Celaena recognizes that what she says is awful. She recognizes that trying to fight is stupid - she just doesn’t care because she’s at such a low point in her life. 

Not that Rowan knows that. She keeps that to herself, which she has every right to do. But he’s clearly not getting a complete picture of her character. Based on what information he has, she’s spoiled and selfish and never fought for anything - least of all her kingdom or her people. 

So the next day, her training begins. 

Because that’s what Rowan and Aelin’s relationship is in HoF. He. Is. Training Her. Train to shift, train to control the magic. Train to enter Doranelle and prove to Maeve she’s ready so she can get the information she needs. Nobody is forcing Celaena to stay - she has the option to leave any time she wants. But she made a deal. Master her powers, get her answers. 

Note: Feyre never had that kind of freedom with Tamlin. She could have left, but he would have left her family destitute. 

“She swore at him, a filthy, foul name, and spat at his feet. And that’s when he bit her.” p. 158

Alright so as far as training goes, Rowan only asks her to shift. No shift, no magic practice. No shift, no Doranelle. She has to has to shift. But she doesn’t, so they sit, and they wait. 

Until she calls him a filthy foul name and spits at him. That’s what leads to the bite. 

Now, there are a few other things Rowan says in this chapter that are pretty shitty (i.e., “why don’t I just give you the lashing you deserve?” “you’re worthless.” “you would probably have been more useful to the world if you’d actually died ten years ago.”) but remember: 

Rowan is not her friend, Rowan is not her lover. He is a soldier instructing another soldier. A highly disrespectful and insubordinate soldier at that. It’s not like army authorities can be coddling and gentle when training new recruits, or with rebellious recruits. It’s a training technique. Maybe not the best one but I bet you my life that it was how he himself was trained. Plus, think of all the shit marines and army personnel go through. Its for a reason, not just for shits.

“Is this what you do? Run away when things get hard?” p. 163

Because that’s the impression he currently has of her. And it’s not like anyone is correcting him. 

“Have you ever had to fight for anything in your life?”
She let out a low, bitter laugh and walked faster, veering westward, not caring about the direction as much as getting away from him. But he kept up easily, his long, heavily muscled legs devouring the mossy ground. “You’re proving me right with every step you take.” 
“I don’t care.”
“I don’t know what you want from Maeve - what answers you’re looking for, but you - “
“You don’t know what I want from her?” It was more of a shout than a question. “How about saving the world from the King of Adarlan?” 
“Why bother? Maybe the world’s not worth saving.” She knew he meant it, too. those lifeless eyes spoke volumes.
“Because I made a promise. A promise to my friend that I would see her kingdom freed.” She shoved her scarred palm into his face. “I made an unbreakable vow. And you and Maeve - all you gods damned bastards - are getting in the way of that.” She went off down the hillside again. He followed. 
“And what of your own people? What of your own kingdom?” 
“They are better off without me, just as you said.”
His tattoo scrunched as he snarled. “So you’d save another land, but nor yours.” p. 164

And yet, he saves her from the skin walkers. They open up a little. 

“Was it you,” Rowan said quietly, but not gently, “or someone else?”
“I was too late. He didn’t survive.” p. 175

This - these two mentions of her dead friends - is the first time Rowan even gets an inkling that Celaena Sardothien the Assassin’s life might have been more harrowing than superfluous. I’m not talking about Aelin Galathynius - we all know what she lost - but Rowan knows she’s been Celaena for a decade to hide from who she used to be. It would make sense that her new identity would be a means of shielding herself from horror. He can’t possibly know it was ineffective. 

“They passed another two sentries. This time, she looked them both in the eye and smiled her greeting.” p. 204

“He gave her a look that said I let you bait me, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m not some mortal fool. She wanted to ask why, but being cordial with him - with anyone - was already odd enough.” p. 205-206

Well that’s the first time in a long time she has smiled - she’s getting a little better, if slowly. 

He notices that she has a profound respect for other people - when she insists on burning the body of the woman the Valg destroyed. 

“Rowan didn’t say anything as she gathered kindling and branches and then knelt, trying not to look at the shriveled skin or the expression of lingering horror. 
Neither did he mock her for the few times it took to get the fire started by hand, or make any snide comments once the pine needles finally crinkled and smoked, ancient incense for a rudimentary pyre. Instead, as she stepped from the rising flames, she felt him come to tower behind her, felt the surety and half wildness of him wrap around her like a phantom body. A warm breeze licked at her hair, her face. Air to help the fire; wind that helped consume the corpse.” p. 209

Then he takes her to the healers commune - something she actually enjoys and has wanted to do since she was a child. He even enlists her help with the Valg bodies by taking her to the village. 

“But I need your help. It’ll be easier for the mortals to talk to you.” p. 233

NOTE: IF YOU FOR ONE SECOND THINK OF COMPARING ROWAN TO TO TAMLIN, HERE IS YOUR FIRST RED LIGHT. You think Tamlin would admit to needing Feyre’s help? You think he would for one second bring her out to help him in any task? Now pay attention because there will be more of this later. 

“He was standing in front of her now, a wild invitation in his eyes. She’d been studying the way he moved, his tricks and tells, the way he assumed she’d react. So when she crossed her arms, feigning the tantrum he expected, she waited. Waited, ad then - 
He shot left to pinch or poke or hit her, and she whirled, slamming down his arm with an elbow and whacking him upside the head with her other hand. He stopped dead and blinked a few times. she smirked at him. 
He bared his teeth in a feral, petrifying grin. “Oh you’d better run now.” 
When he lunged, she shot through the trees.” p. 235 - 236

Look. All the poking and prodding is mainly a technique to get her to react, to fight for something - for herself. The initial punch and bite were because she said goddamn shitty things to him. And were the situation reversed and someone uttered those words to her, you bet your ass she would have done just the same. 

And you know what? There’s proof of that. Remember Celaena’s relationship with Lysandra in The Assassin’s Blade? At the beginning of Queen of Shadows? Celaena literally throws a dagger at Lysandra’s head. Threatens to kill her - seriously considers killing her. There’s even mention of them throwing each other down the stairs when they were younger (in the scene at the dinner table with Arobynn in QoS). 

Because they weren’t friends at that point. They were forced into each other’s company. Which is exactly how Rowan and Aelin start out - except, let me say it again, he was forced to be there to train her because of the command from the queen he was bound to by blood. So if you can call Rowan abusive you might as well say the same of Celaena. 

Then there’s the incident with Gavriel and the tattoo. 

“Yes, she had certainly walked in on something private.” p. 274

“Do you do it for the money?”
A flicker of teeth. “One, it’s none of your business. And two, I would never stoop so low.” The look he gave her told her exactly what he thought of her profession.
“You know, it might be better if you just slapped me instead.”
“Instead of what?”
“Instead of reminding me again and again how rutting worthless and awful and cowardly I am. Believe me, I can do the job well enough on my own. So just hit me, because I’m damned tired of trading insults. And you know what? You didn’t even bother to tell me you’d be unavailable. If you’d said something, I never would have come. I’m sorry I did. But you just left me downstairs.”
Saying those last words made a sharp, quick panic rise up in her, an aching pain that had her throat closing. “You left me,” she repeated. “Maybe it was only out of blind terror at the abyss opening up again around her, but she whispered, “I have no one left. No one.” 
She hadn’t realized how much she meant it, how much she needed it not to be true, until now.
His features remained impassive, turning vicious, even, as he said, “There is nothing I can give you. Nothing I want to give you. You are not owed an explanation for what I do outside of training. I don’t care what you’ve been through or what you want to do with your life. The sooner you can sort out your whining and self-pity, the sooner I can be rid of you. You are nothing to me, and I do not care.” p. 275

Obviously, not one of his finer moments, but take a look at his own thoughts on it the next morning. 

“The girl was nowhere to be seen, and for a heartbeat, he hoped she’d left again, if only so he didn’t have to face what he’d said yesterday.” p. 279

Remember that Rowan’s pain and self loathing comes from the fact that he had left his mate to go campaigning for Maeve. He left her. Imagine him berating himself day and night for two hundred years and seven months for leaving her, and then this girl says those same exact words to him with such pain in her eyes. He hates himself for it as much as Celaena hates herself for the things she said to Nehemia. 

“What do you see when you look at her, Prince?”
He didn’t know. These days, he didn’t know a damn thing. “That’s none of your concern either.”
Emrys ran a hand over his weathered face. “I see her slipping away, bit by bit, because you shove her down when she so desperately needs someone to help her back up.” 
I don’t see why I would be of any use to -
“Did you know that Evalin Ashryver was my friend? She spent almost a year working in this kitchen - living here with us, fighting to convince your queen that demi-Fae have a place in your realm. She fought for our rights until the very day she departed this kingdom - and the many years after, until she was murdered by those monsters across the sea. So I knew. I knew who her daughter was the moment you brought her into this kitchen. All of us who were here twenty-five years ago recognized her for what she is.” 
It wasn’t often that he was surprised, but… Rowan just stared.
“She has no hope, Prince. She has no hope left in her heart. Help her. If not for her sake, then at least for what she represents - what she could offer all of us, you included.”
“And what is that?” he dared ask.
Emrys met his gaze unflinchingly as he whispered, “A better world.” p. 280

He already knows what he said was awful. He already doesn’t know how he feels about her, but it’s so much easier to pretend she means nothing. I mean, nothing has mattered to him for more than 200 years since Lyria has died - changing that is like cracking a boulder in two. It’s hard, and it’s a permanent change. No going back. He’s already said once that the people you love are just weapons that can be held against you. I imagine he’s fighting like hell to not care about her because he knows the truth of that all too well. 

And he doesn’t see how he could be any use to her - because he already has such a low opinion of himself. He couldn’t help Lyria, why could he help Aelin? And yet…

“You want to talk about it?” he asked.
“No.”

“Good. Because we’re going.”
Bastard. She called him as much, and then asked, “Going where?”
He smiled grimly. “I think I’ve started to figure you out, Aelin Galathynius.” p. 281

I always wondered what this meant. But I think I get it now. Rowan sees himself in her. After what Emrys said about being hopeless, about needing someone, he sees that. They are both so, so low. 

They’ve both lost the people who meant the most to them. 

They’ve both been molded as soldiers and weapons their whole lives.

They’ve both been forced to serve cruel, unfathomably awful monarchs. 

They both hate themselves. 

“Please,” she panted, not caring that she was begging. “Please don’t bring anyone else into it. I will do anything you ask of me. But that is my line. Anything else but that.”
His eyes were veiled as he finally let go over her arms. She gazed up at the canopy. She would not cry in front of him, not again. 
He peeled back, the space between them now a tangible thing. “How did she die?”
She let the moisture against her back seep into her, cool her bones. “She manipulated a mutual acquaintance into thinking he needed to kill her in order to further his agenda. He hired an assassin, made sure I wasn’t around, and had her murdered. 

“What happened to the two men?” A cold question.
“The assassin I hunted down and left in pieces in an alleyway. And the man who hired him…” Blood on her hands, on her clothes, in her hair, Chaol’s horrified stare. “I gutted him and dumped his body in a sewer.” 
They were two of the worst things she’d done, out of pure hatred and vengeance and rage. She waited for the lecture. But Rowan merely said, “Good.” p. 294

Alright this is important. Chaol’s horror sticks with her. She worries about what she did - even if it was totally justified - because of what he thinks of her for doing it. Even in QoS he says that killing Grave and Archer makes her a monster. Dorian isn’t a monster because he never did those things, even if he does have magic. But she has that blood on her hands. Monster.

And here’s Rowan, saying GOOD. Good that you killed the ones that killed your friend. Because he understands that. He understands that rage. And he’s done the same exact thing to the men who hurt his mate. 

“She was so surprised that she looked at him - and saw what she had done. Not his already bruised and bleeding face, or his ripped jacket and shirt, now muddy. But right where she’d gripped his forearms, the clothes were burned through, the skin beneath covered in angry red welts. 
Handprints. She’d burned right through the tattoo on his left arm. She was on her feet in an instant, wondering if she should be on her knees begging for forgiveness instead.
It must have hurt like hell. Yet he had taken it - the beating, the burning - while she let out those words that had clouded her senses for so many weeks now. “I am… so sorry,” she started, but he held up a hand. 
“You do not apologize,” he said, “for defending the people you care about.” p. 294 - 295

“She tossed the salve to him. “I thought you might want this.” 
He caught it with one hand, but his eyes remained on her. “I deserved it.” p. 301

“When my mate died, it took me a very, very long time to come back.”
It took her a moment to think of what to say. “How long ago?” 
“Two hundred three years, twenty-seven days ago.” He gestured to the tattoo on his face, neck, arms. “This tells the story of how it happened. Of the shame I’ll carry until my last breath.” 

“Lyria begged me not to go. But I was so arrogant, so misguided, that I left her at our mountain home and went off to war. I left her alone,” he said, and again looked at Celaena. 
You left me, she had said to him. That was when he’d snapped - the wounds of centuries ago rising up to swallow him as viciously as her own past consumed her.” 

“How - how did you come back from that kind of loss?”
“I didn’t. For a long while I couldn’t. I think I’m still… not back. I might never be.”
She nodded, lips pressed tight, and glanced toward the window. 
“But maybe,” he said, quietly enough that she looked at him again. He didn’t smile, but his eyes were inquisitive. “Maybe we could find the way back together.”
He would not apologize for today, or yesterday, or any of it. And she would not ask him to, not now that she understood that in the weeks she had been looking at him it had been like gazing at a reflection. No wonder she had loathed him.
“I think,” she said, barely more than a whisper, “I would like that very much.” 
He held out a hand. “Together, then.”
She studied the scarred, callused palm, then the tattooed face, full of a grim sort of hope. Someone who might - who did understand what it was like to be crippled at your very core, someone who was still climbing inch by inch out of that abyss.
Perhaps they would never get out of it, perhaps they would never be whole again, but… “Together,” she said, and took his outstretched hand.
And somewhere far and deep inside her, and ember began to glow.” p. 304 - 305

Imma just let Aelin’s words speak for themselves here. 

Now, let me just point out another contrasting characteristic between Tamlin and Rowan. When Tamlin says he will change, he has seen his mistakes, he does not change. He tries for a day or two and then gets worse. He never helped Feyre with her post traumatic stress or depression or anxiety. He preferred to work on his own, and ignored her cries for help. Rowan on the other hand, when he sees he can make a difference, he can be better, he makes it his mission and he and Aelin make it through their depression together

“Give me one good reason why you won’t take back your throne. One good reason, and I’ll keep my mouth shut about it.”
She weighed the earnestness in his gaze, his breathing, and then said, “Because if I free Eyllwe and destroy the king as Celaena, I can go anywhere after that. The crown… my crown is just another set of shackles.”
… She waited for the scolding, saw it simmering in Rowan’s eyes. But then he quietly said, “What do you mean, another set of shackles?” p. 339

He asks her questions about her life before, why she stayed with Arobynn - he wants to learn more. Because he knows he made a mistake and wants to work harder. But he never pries, never pushes for information, even when he knows she’s telling half truths. 

“Sometimes they would talk. Well, she would make him talk, because after telling him about Aedion and her own selfish wish for freedom, she decided that talking was… good. Even if she wasn’t able to open up about some things, she liked hearing Rowan speak.” p. 354

“He spoke very little of his friends, who sometimes accompanied him on his journeys.” p. 354

“She didn’t fail to notice how quickly they looked away when they beheld Rowan at her side. Though she did catch a few females looking at him with far warmer interest. She wanted to claw their faces off for it.” p. 355

“Gods, she had no interest in him like that, and she was certain he had no inclination to take her to his bed, either. Maybe it was just from spending so much time in her Fae body that she felt… territorial. Territorial and grumpy and mean. Last night she had growled at a female in the kitchen who would not stop staring at him and had actually taken a step toward him as if to say hello.” p. 356

Until QoS I thought this was just proof of their friendship, like how two similar people could grow to care about each other in a platonic way. They were totally my brotp. But then I read QoS, and then I read ACOMAF, and I started to wonder… Feyre had no warm feelings for Rhys at the start of ACOMAF, even if they were meant to be mates, even if they were mates at the time. It also mentioned that Rhys’s parents weren’t good for each other, even if they were mates. I think it’s possible that Rowan and Aelin might already have had some mating effects even this early on… just a thought. But it’s clear that, instinctually, they’re protective and territorial of each other a little over half way through HoF.

Then came Beltane.

“She didn’t hear what else was said, heard nothing but the pounding - pounding of that forge under her skin. There was a grunt and a hiss, and then she was in Rowan’s arms, bouncing against his chest as he hurtled through the woods.” p. 360

“I’m going to check on the tonic. I’ll be back soon.” He left once she’d nodded again. If she hadn’t known better, she might have thought he was fussing. Worried, even.” p. 363

“His breath caught, harsh enough that she looked over her shoulder. But his eyes weren’t on her face. Or the water. They were on her back.
Curled as she was against her knees, he could see the whole expanse of ruined flesh, each scar from the lashings. “Who did that to you?”
It would have been easy to lie, but she was so tired, and he had saved her useless hide. So she said, “A lot of people. I spent some time in the Salt Mines of Endovier.” 
He was so still that she wondered if he’d stopped breathing. “How long?” he asked after a moment. She braced herself for the pity, but his face was so carefully blank - no, not blank. Calm with lethal rage.
“A year. I was there a year before… its a long story.” p. 363 - 364

“Her back.
Rowan soared over the trees, riding and shaping the winds to push him onward, faster, their roar negligible to the bellowing in his head. He took in the passing world out of instinct rather than interest, his eyes turned inward - toward that slab of ruined flesh glistening in the candlelight.
The gods knew he’d seen plenty of harrowing injuries. He’d bestowed plenty of them on his enemies and friends alike. In the grand sense of things, her back wasn’t even close to some of those wounds. Yet when he’d seen it, his heart had clean stopped - and for a moment, there had been an overwhelming silence in his mind.
He felt his magic and his warrior’s instincts honing into a lethal combination the longer he stared - howling to rip apart the people who had done that with his bare hands. Then he’d just left, hardly making it out of the baths before he shifted and soared into the night.
Maeve had lied. Or lied by omission. But she knew. She knew what the girl had gone through - knew she’d been a slave. That day - that day early on, he’d threatened to whip the girl, gods above. And she had lost it. He’d been such a proud fool that he’d assumed she’d lashed out because she was nothing more than a child. He should have known better - should have known that when she did react to something like that, it mean the scars went deep. And then there were the other things he’d said… 
He was almost to the towering line of the Cambrian Mountains. She had barely been grown into her woman’s body when they hurt her like that. Why hadn’t she told him? Why hadn’t Maeve told him? His hawk loosed a piercing cry that echoed on the dark gray stones of the mountain wall before him. A chorus of unearthly howls rose in response - Maeve’s wild wolves, guarding the passes. Even if he flew all the way to Doranelle, he’d reach his queen and demand answers and … and she would not give them to him. With the blood oath, she could command him not to go back to Mistward.
He gripped the winds with his magic, choking off their current. Aelin… Aelin had not trusted him - not wanted him to know.” p. 365 - 366

“If she hadn’t wanted to tell him about being a slave, then she probably had done so assuming the worst about him - just as she was probably assuming the worst about his leaving. The thought didn’t sit well.” p. 366

“I don’t want your pity.”
This is not pity. Maeve decided not to tell me what happened to you. You have to know that I - I wasn’t aware you had - “ 
She slid her arm across the bed to grip his hand. “I knew. At first, I was afraid you’d mock me if I told you, and I would kill you for it. Then I didn’t want you to pity me. And more than any of that, I didn’t want you to think it was ever an excuse.”
“Like a good soldier,” he said. She had to look away for a moment to keep from letting him see just what that meant to her. He took a long breath that made his broad chest expand. “Tell me how you were sent there - and how you got out.” p. 368

“And when she awoke before dawn, warm and safe and rested, Rowan was still holding her hand, clasped to his chest.” p. 368

I really dislike comparing love interests to one another - everyone has a right to their ship as long as they don’t bully others for theirs. But… this is something I noticed even when I still shipped Chaolaena. Chaol’s response to seeing Aelin’s back is “What did you do to deserve it?” Rowan’s… obviously there’s a difference. I won’t go into it, but the difference between the two really touched my heart. 

Anyways, obviously Rowan sees his mistakes even more clearly now. And wants to atone for them. Wants to work harder to be better. He realizes just how far gone he had been in his despair and rage to not notice how much she had suffered, how much she had survived. 

Then he cares for her after the burnout, making sure she is safe, fed, recovering. Its almost motherly, the way he fusses. Something Tamlin certainly never did. And of course, he wants to learn more. He wants to know more about her, learn why she is the way she is - and again, he sees similarities between them…

“But I also think you like to suffer. You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you’ve committed. And I know this because I’ve been doing the same damn thing for two hundred years.” p. 375

“At least if you’re going to hell,” he said, the vibrations in his chest rumbling against her, “then we’ll be there together.” p. 375

:) 

Just a personal note (so sorry, it is my post though) this is why I like their relationship so much. Because they have been through the same kinds of trauma, the same kinds of despair and grief, same rage and fury, and still see the good and the worth in each other. More than anyone else in Aelin’s life (except perhaps Aedion but… brotp… and they’re cousins…) Rowan is her equal. 

“Do not take one more step - “
She kept going. Inside the fortress, screaming had begun - pain and death and terror. Each step away from it tore at her, but she headed to the stones, toward the megalith gates. Rowan grabbed her elbow. “That was an order.” 
She knocked his hand away. “You’re needed inside. Leave the barrier to me.”
“You don’t know if it’ll work - “
“It will work,” she snarled. “I’m the expendable one, Rowan.”
“You are heir to the throne of - “
“Right now, I am a woman who has a power that might save lives. Let me do this. Help the others.” 
Rowan looked at the ward-stones, at the fortress and the sentries scrambling to help below. Weighing, calculating. At last, Rowan said, “Do not engage them. You focus on that darkness and keeping it away from the barrier, and that’s it. Hold the line, Aelin.” 

Hey look, he respects her right to make decisions on her own, even if it is difficult for him or he disagrees. 

“Rowan,” Gavriel murmured, tightening his grip on Rowan’s arm. Rain had begun pouring. “We are needed inside.”
“No,” he snarled. He knew Aelin was alive, because during all these weeks that they had been breathing each other’s scents, they had become bonded. She was alive, but could be in any level of torment or decay. That was why Gavriel and Lorcan were holding him back. If they didn’t, he would run for the darkness, where Lyria beckoned. 
But for Aelin, he had tried to break free.
“Rowan, the others - “
No.” 

Also unlike Tamlin, he fights for her. And then they fight together

Which leads me to QoS. Cuz the only other bits in HoF of real importance are the blood oath and her telling him her whole story, the first person she trusts with every facet of herself. 

Mostly in QoS I’d like to point out the ways in which he is respectful of her decisions, since this whole post is about this “abuse” nonsense (complete and utter nonsense). 

#1. He stays in Mistward as long as it is safe/ makes sense for him to do so. He respects Aelin’s wish to go off on her own and take care of things herself.

#2. When he returns he lets her make the decisions for their lodgings, whichever situation is most comfortable for her, even if he might see possible backlash on their sleeping arrangements. 

#3. During her fight with Aedion over the blood oath Rowan does not say one damn word, not even when Aedion calls her that one word I think we can all guess. He lets her handle it and is comforting. He only says something the next day to Aedion - something vastly similar to what I would say if it had been my friend. 

#4. Though he might not like it, he steps back when Aelin runs off at night on her own doing sneaky sneaky awesome things

Alright look that’s as far as I’m going to go because when I read QoS I turn into a bowl of mush over my ship so I’m going to leave it at that with the conclusion that

Sure, Rowan was a dick at the beginning

Rowan and Aelin did not at all like each other in the beginning

But neither did Aelin and Sam, or Aelin and Lysandra, or Aelin and Chaol. They all got into fights and beat each other up at some point.

But Rowan is in no way no how no shape or form abusive, cruel, manipulative, possessive, or anything at all like Tamlin. So if I see another one of those posts Imma beat yo ass (with knowledge and a great vocabulary) and go on about my day. 

Rowan has suffered as much as anyone in the series, and was still dealing with the residual effects of that suffering when he met Aelin. But meeting her snapped him out of his self hatred and general hatred of life. He is a character who sees his mistakes and works to improve. He wants Aelin to be her very best self, and to help her in that endeavor. When he gets out of his personal absolute low, like Aelin in HoF, he is respectful, open minded, and kind. And an excellent friend. 

So there’s that and god I don’t think I can do another one of these posts because do you know how many hours it takes to read these books over looking for quotes and then writing them and analyzing them like wow good thing I have no life

Weird

Band: EXO

Genre: Fluff, Angst?

Members: Kai, mentions of Chen

Description: Sometimes things get a little weird

Warnings: Cursing

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 1746



This was usual. Almost too usual. Every day of your high-school life you were used to waking up earlier than you actually needed. You were used to sit in the front row, right next to the window. You were used to people asking you for help in English, seeing you were the best of the class. You were also used to your other classmates looking at you weirdly. Why? Well, might be that you’re not Korean. Or even Asian. Who knows though.

What you weren’t used to though was the kind of attention you received from the football team of your school lately. You’ve been used to being ignored from them most of the time. Sure, once in a while Jongdae would bug you for your notes from class, but other than that? Nothing. So Why were they paying attention to you now? Did Jongdae tell them about your English skills? Do they want your notes too now? Nah. Couldn’t be.

Shaking your head to snap out of your thoughts, you closed your locker after grabbing all the books you would need for the next class. Maths. Ugh. The only good Thing about Maths was that there would be nobody sitting besides you. Literally. Ever since beginning of the year, a guy out of your classes, also a member of the football team, wouldn’t ever Show up to the lessons. Honestly, you were kind of glad. If he did come, you would have player sitting next to you. Not just a football player, oh no sweetie. From what you’ve heard, this boy also plays with feelings. How many stories you’ve heard by now? Too many.

Sitting down in your usual spot next to the window, you looked out. You almost ignored the door opening again, thinking it may just be the teacher or some Student running late. But you were greeted with gasps of your classmates, mumbling, girls squealing, and this made you turn your head.

You had almost gasped as well. Standing in the doorway of the classroom was none other than Kim Jongin. Also known as Kai in the football team. The one who didn’t show up for classes. Never. And now he was here? Maybe his grades really went down.. But that still didn’t answer the look on his face as he spotted you. Or Why he was coming right into your direction. Was it the empty seat? He could have it as long as he wouldn’t talk to you. That`d be fine.

After coming over and sliding into the seat next to you though, you noticed that his intentions weren’t exactly what you hoped.

Great.

“Uhm..can I help you maybe?” He only scoffed in reply and you raised your eyebrow. “No?” “Don’t talk to me, nerd.” Now that caused you to scoff. “Why are you looking at me then?” Instead of answering, Jongin thought it would be a better idea to just ignore your question and look into your notebook instead. Immediately, you covered it up, not wanting him to see the things you sometimes doodled in there. ”Don’t look.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m telling you not to.”

“Wow, what a great answer, smartass.”

You scoffed, shoving the notebook more to your left, making sure he wouldn’t be able to take a look at it from this distance. Even after the class began and you tried to focus on your work, his glances at you would never go unnoticed.

It has now been a week of Jongin managing to come to all of his classes, which he apparently almost always shared with you. No matter where you’d sit, he would sit nearby. And no matter how much you ignored him, he’d never look away from you.

It has come to the point where you confronted Jongdae. Confronting him if he did tell Jongin anything. If yes, what, and if he needed help in English, why wouldn’t he just say so? Jongdae laughed. He ruffled your hair, telling you that if things went well, you would find out in no time of what Jongin really wanted from you. But this only confused you more. If things went well? What is that supposed to mean? No matter what it was, you hoped to find out soon.

It was Wednesday. Two more hours of school and then you were safe. It was almost time for English class. Closing the door to your locker, you started to make your way down the hallway to your classroom, as you noticed multiple eyes watching your back. Stopping in the middle of the hallway, you slowly turned your head, only to see some of the football team members watching you. Catching Jongdaes glance, you raised your eyebrow at him, while he nodded towards none other than Jongin who seemed to be talking to the rest. You pointed at yourself as if asking ‘Is he talking about me?’, and Jongdae only grinned response. Muttering an ‘okay then..’ under your breath, you quickly made your way inside the classroom and sat down at your usual front-row-window-seat. As the bell rang, the rest of the students started to find their way in as well. You almost forgot you had a neighbor until the chair next to you was pulled back and a smirking Jongdae plopped down in it. “What?” He chuckled. “Oh, nothing.” Eyebrow raised, you moved to look back forward at the board, when Jongdae nudged your side. “How is he?” “How is who?” “You know who”, he scoffed, “Kai. Is he nice?”

Sucking in a breath, you leaned back in your chair. “I guess nice isn’t how you’d call this..He’s more likely..rude.” Looking back at him, you noticed the big pout taking over Jongdaes face. “That bad?” “Well certainly not nice. He’s weird. It’s almost creepy by now, he just stares and doesn’t talk.” The chuckle erupting from his throat had you confused. “How adorable, he really doesn’t talk to you?” You shook your head in response, reacting just in time to slap Jongdaes hand away before it managed to mess up your hair once more.

“You’ll figure out soon enough.”, he said. Just like every day the past week.

The days went by, so did weeks, months, and slowly Kim Jongin would start talking to you. You were still mad at Jongdae for telling you 'soon’, when actually two months passed already. But Jongin actually greeted you sometimes now. A short nod, a silent 'hi’, and you could swear you saw him smile last Tuesday before your third lesson.. not that you cared. Right? Sometimes in your English lessons, Jongin would turn to you. He wouldn’t say a lot, just glance at you and back at his papers, and you immediately understood and shoved your answers towards him. If he really didn’t understand, he’d mutter a soft 'Help me..’ and scoot closer, wanting you to explain it to him. Jongin was by no means bad in English, you were actually surprised. He messed up some grammar here and there, but that was perfectly okay. You actually found it somewhat cute when he read his sentences out loud because of his accent. And for the small smile forming on his face whenever he understood the task in the end, it was definitely worth it.

What actually surprised you was that Jongin asked for your help with the homework after classes. Asking if it was fine to meet him in the library for lunch. Of course you agreed, who wouldn’t when he looked so adorable, lips formed in a light pout, eyes casted to the side and a soft red coating his cheeks. For a school jock, way too adorable. So you met him there.

Actually finding him was the bigger problem to you though. Even though Jongin was fairly tall, you weren’t, and the library was big. It took you about ten minutes until you found him sitting in the far end of the library, eyes focused on a book in front of him. You smiled, moving over to him. Sitting down, you placed your bag on the chair next to you, which made Jongin look up.

“Hey.” You greeted, and already took the smile on his face as a 'Hello’. “Hi.”, he replied, and closed the book. Just before you were able to ask him about his problem with the homework, he began to talk again. “I..don’t really need help with the homework. I mean- I do..but.. uhm..that’s not the reason why I wanted to see you here.” He scratched his cheek, eyes darting aside once more today. “You.. want to talk to me about something else then?” He nodded. “Well.. uh.. okay.” It did confuse you, not going to lie. He didn’t talk to you at all, maybe a 'hello’, a now he’s practically presenting a speech? Wow, okay.

He took a deep breath before continuing. “This..feels weird.. but I uhm..”, he cleared his throat, “I kind of..like you.”

You don’t really remember how many seconds passed before a small “What.” came past your lips, and boy did he look nervous. “I..like you? I don’t know.. I just..Okay here goes nothing. I watched you for some time. Before I came to our classes together. Jongdae hyung just always..said so much about you. How kind you were..and what a dork you are..”

You gulped.

“I really wanted to meet you too.”

You blinked.

“I’m kind of an asshole though..”

Your mouth opened.

“I just thought I shouldn’t talk, maybe that makes me seem less like a jerk.”

You wanted to interrupt him.

“It didn’t really work though right? Hyung..said you think I’m creepy. Sorry for that.”

“Jongin-”

“And that’s another reason. You never call me Kai, why? Everyone does, why don’t you? Why do I like it when you say it?”

Before you could say anything, he stood up, hands running through his hair, back turning towards you.

“I’m so weird.”, was what he whispered, loud enough for you to hear. The next thing you did kind of surprised him though, for once. Your hand gently placed itself on his arm. “I like weird.” was all that you said.

It was weird when he looked down at you. It made you feel small, but you liked it. It was weird when he smiled, you weren’t used to it, but you liked it. It got really weird when he hugged you. It surprised you,

but you liked it.

Originally posted by sefuns

A month, a full month has gone by and you haven’t seen your boyfriend once. What makes it worse is that he stopped calling, and texting. You’re last text from him was three days ago, you asked him how he was doing and he answered with ‘fine’. You wanted to throw your phone at the wall at how mad you were but you also wanted to break down and cry. You thought you would at least last longer than this, it seemed like his life was too busy for you, and the quicker you realized this the better off you two would be, at least that’s what you thought.

You dialed his phone, it rang and rang.

“Hello!”

You were confused, the voice on the phone was brighter and happier than your boyfriends. “Hello?” You questioned.

“Ah Y/N! How’s everything?”

“Ten? What are you doing answering Taeyong’s phone?” You asked.

“He’s in the bathroom.” Ten replied.

“Oh well, just tell him I called.”  

“Wait Y/N, are you okay?”

You sighed, you weren’t very good at hiding your feeling but you really didn’t want to talk about it either.

“Not really…” You admitted.

“Is it-“

“Why do you have my phone!?” It was Taeyong screaming in the background.

“Hyung, Y/N was calling and-“

“And you answered it!?” His words came out so harshly.

“She’s still on the phone.” Ten said, in a soft voice.

You heard a tussle and then nothing.

“Hello?” You asked.

“Y/N, why are you calling me?” It was Taeyong.

“We need to talk.” You simply said.

“Is it important?” He asked you.

You scoffed. “I wouldn’t be calling you if it wasn’t important Taeyong, just come home tonight.” Your voice was monotone, you made sure to have to no emotion in it whatsoever; you didn’t want him to think you were weak.

“I’ll be late.”

“You always are so it doesn’t matter, just come home tonight.” You snapped and hung up the phone.

You were furious, the way he talked to you, the way he treated you. It was like you were a stranger to him and you knew you were much more than that. That you deserved better than that.

You waited and waited. It was such a long wait, you distracted yourself with movies, shows, you cooked, you went on the internet, it was now 2:27am and he still wasn’t home. You took a cold shower to wake you up because you needed to have this conversation with him, it was now or never.

After the shower you felt refreshed, you heard the front door open then close.

You walked into the living room to see Taeyong throwing his stuff on the floor and taking his shoes off.

“I’m here, now what do you want?” He asked glaring at you, you made sure to glare at him back.

“That’s a great way to great your girlfriend.” You said sarcastically.

“Y/N what is so important that I had to come home tonight?” He asked.

“Our relationship, Taeyong. Or maybe you forgot about because I haven’t actually seen you in a month!” You yelled. “You stopped calling, you stopped texting! Ten had to answer the stupid phone because you wouldn’t! I’m starting to think you don’t even care about me anymore…” Your voice went soft at the end.

“Well what do you want me to do about it!? You know I’m busy, you know how much pressure they’re putting on me! You knew that it was going to be hard from the beginning! Do you want me to just drop all of that for you!?” He screamed at you.

The tears were threatening to fall from your eyes so quickly but you held them back.

“I’m not saying you should give up your dream Tae, but shouldn’t there be room for me too!?”

“You’re so selfish…” He muttered.

“Selfish? I’m selfish!? Wanting my pathetic excuse for a boyfriend to pay attention to me is selfish!?” You were livid. “No! What’s selfish is you! You expecting to have it all, the perfect job, the perfect friends and the perfect girlfriend to top it all off! Well I’m not perfect! Nobody is, and that stupid job of your isn’t either, if anything it’s killing you! You’re always cranky, exhausted and tired all the time! The more you work at SM the worse your personality gets and I’m sick of it!”

“Then leave! GO!” He looked you dead in eyes. “No one’s forcing you to stay! No one! So you can disappear and stop distracting me from what’s really important!”

“Fuck you.” You said and ran out, a flood was coming from your eyes and it wasn’t stopping now.

You were on the streets, freezing, the air was so cold and you forgot to bring a jacket. You could feel your nose stuffing up, and your ears tingling. You didn’t want to go back home, but it was way too cold outside for you stay out too long. You noticed a little restaurant still open, you check your pocket and luckily you had money. You quickly made you way inside and order some tea to warm you up.

“Y/N?”

You turned around in your seat, you saw Yuta, Ten and Jaemin all together.

“Shouldn’t you guys be asleep?” You looked at the clock and it was now 3:10am.

“We could say the same about you.” Yuta said.

“Noona, are you okay?” Jaemin asked.

You quickly wiped away your tears.

“No yea, I’m fine.” You said smiling.

“What did he do?” Ten asked sitting next to you as the other two sat across.

“We broke up.” You admitted, “He told me I was a distraction from what’s really important, his career.”

Ten pulled you into a hug. “You know if you ever need any help, were here for you.”

“I know.” You smiled still holding on to him.

“Could you please let go of my girlfriend.” All four of you looked up to a heated Taeyong. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

“We already talked Taeyong, just leave me alone.” You said.

“Hyung-” Ten tried to speak.

“Stay out of it.” Taeyong interrupted him. “Y/N please.”

You put your head on the table and sighed. “I’m exhausted, physically and mentally, just leave me alone.”

“Hyung-” Ten tried to speak again.

“I said stay out it Ten!” Taeyong yelled. “Look if you’re not coming, then I’ll just have to drag you.”

And with that Taeyong grabbed your arm and yanked you out your seat and the restaurant, with the boys following behind.

“Let me go!” You screamed at him. He just ignored you as he was pulling you along the sidewalk, you managed to get out of his grip and tried to run the other way but he caught you. “Lee Taeyong! Let me go! Isn’t this what you wanted!?”

He pulled you into a tight hug, he was silent and still as he put his head on your shoulder. You felt something wet, and you noticed he was crying which was unusual because he never cried.

“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean what I said, I got so distracted from work and the thought of debuting that I didn’t see how I was hurting you. Please, take me back.”

You were in shock, he’s never been this emotional with you, especially not in front of his friend which you don’t think he remembered were there. You finally wrapped your arms around his waist.

“The things you do to me.” You said and kissed his cheek. “Just promise me, we’ll be better this time. I don’t want to have to fight with you again, especially not like this.”

“I promise.” He said as he captured your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“WOOOOOOHHH!” You both turned around to see Jaemin, Yuta and Ten cheering for you two.

“Hyung.” Ten said.

Taeyong groaned. “What is it Ten?”

“Your fly is down.” Everyone laughed as Taeyong started blushing. “I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time.”

You giggled as Taeyong let go of you to pull up his zipper.

Taeyong sighed. “Thank you Ten.”

“C’mon, it’s cold and I’m still hungry.” You hugged your boyfriend.

All five of you went back into the restaurant, ate until your stomachs were full and laughed until it hurt. In the midst of it all you look at your boyfriend and smiled, happy that you two made it this far.


This is my first real scenario I really hope you like it~ Clue

Together

Fic Request: Lydia can’t help it. She has to tell someone. At girls night, she spills the beans. She and Stiles had sex less than a week ago. And it was amazing and gentle and sweet and everything she’d wanted. She tells the girls all about how it happened (three times, might I add). But what she doesn’t know, is Stiles can’t help it either. He’s currently telling Scott all about it as well.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance, Fluff

Author: rongasm

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Weapons down

Pairing: Sam x reader or Dean x reader

Word Count: Sam: 972 Dean: 1092

Warnings: Feels and cursing for the Sam one.

A/N: This story has five lines of common beginning, and then it branches off depending on whether you prefer Sam or Dean. Just thought I’d try it out. Enjoy!


“Weapons down, or I’m gonna shoot you to oblivion!” you yelled at the two men whose silhouettes were outlined in the doorway of the warehouse.

They put their weapons down only because of sheer surprise, and while they looked around to pinpoint the source of the voice that startled them, you had the time to study them.

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Jealous much? (Bucky x Reader)

Request:  @rvolvvers SWETTIE! 💖 I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND YOUR IMAGINES. I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU TO WRITE (SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH, IT’S NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE) IMAGINE WHERE BUCKY IS NEW IN AVENGERS TOWER, AND THE READER FALL FOR HIM (SHE IS NIECE TONY-HE’S REALLY OVERPROTECTIVE) BUT BUCKY KISSING ANOTHER GIRL, AND THE READER IS REALLY BROKEN. I NEED FLUFF IN THE END-IF THAT’S NOT A PROBLEM, OF COURSE:) [IM WAIT FOR NEXT PART OF STEVE X READER X PEGGY I LOVE YOU, MUCH LOVE XO

A/N: I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO WRITE SJEEESS THAT WAS TAKING LONG! So yeah, school is bugging me since I’m in my pre-graduation year of high school, which means that we’re going to do so much on choosing universitys and finding what we want to do in two years…. and there goes a lot of my free time. Yay! BUT I found time to write this even though I have a lot to do but I didn’t want to abandon you all. I really love this request and I hope you guys will love what I have made of it. Have fun reading! (And does it show alot that I have been single for my whole life? ‘Cause I have that feeling whenever I’m writing that two characters are kissing lol)

As usual, [Y/N] is your name :)

Warnings: Dutch swearing (if thats a warning lol)? (Whenever I have the feeling that the reader has to swear I just use dutch insults lol. You can search them, or ask me. I use them on a daily basis) and maybe some normal english swearing if I missed that lol

Prompt: Jealousy is an hatefull thing. It really is.


Your p.o.v.

“Goodmorning everybody!”

You walked into the kitchen of the Avengres tower, looking around as almost everybody sat at the table, looking like they wanted to kill somebody for waking them up. Well, except for Steve. He was awake for a few hours already and it looked like he was the most energetic person in the room. He probably was too. Maybe Nat was an exception. She looked like she could kill somebody and she probably would too. You decided to not bother her, since you had once first-handed learnt how it is to disturb her.

You decide to take place at the table next to your uncle, Tony. It was a wonder that he was already awake, sitting at the breakfast table. Although, to say that he was already awake was probably the wrong thing to say. You looked at him struggling to stay awake, almost falling asleep in his plate of pancakes. You giggled by the sight of this, left with a sudden craving for pancakes yourself. You heard a weird noise coming towards you, and saw a plate of pancakes being moved to you. You looked up to see who gave them to you, and were met with a pair of lightblue orbs. Bucky. You smiled softly at him.

“You don’t need any Buck?”

He just shook his head. You decided to not question any further and to just start on the pancakes. After all, you were pretty hungry. Plus, whatever you asked him, he would insist that he didn’t want them anyway. Even if you would catch him an hour later in the kitchen again eating a plate of pancakes. All by himself.

This was the way mornings went ever since Bucky started to fully live in the tower* a couple of weeks ago. And to be completly honest, you didn’t want them any other way.


People had been sending you to different places for the whole day, without any evident reason. You really didn’t understand why, and when you were send to your uncle again - Nat wanted to have a status update for the new iron man suit without any apparent reason - you kind off lost it.

“Okay now I wanna know what the heck is going on! Why are you all sending me around the tower for the dumbest things?”

Tony looked at you like he knew exactly what was going on, but didn’t want to tell you. At. All.

“Tell. Me. Now.”

“Nope not gonna tell ya.”

“You really enjoy doing this don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Are you trying to get me off-topic and away from anything you are trying to get me away from?”

“Maybe.”

You were mad. Really mad. Not only was this the most frustrating thing to do -arguing with your uncle always was - but you also had the feeling something big was going on and you didn’t like that. 

“You know what? I’ve had enough of this. I’m going. Bye!”

You walked out of his lab, not even paying attention to any of your surroundings and with no other intention than to just go and leave. You still didn’t know what was going on and you hated that. You also had the feeling that everybody had suddenly turned their back to you. Everybody except…

“Bucky!”

You suddenly knew your destination, knowing that Bucky could - and would - help you out. You didn’t know why, but around him, you felt safe. You also knew that you didn’t need to think about anything you were doing, heck you could have even been acting like the craziest fangirl and he still wouldn’t mind.

Plus, he was the only one that you hadn’t seen today ever since breakfast. 

Coming to think of that, you realised that you didn’t know where he was. Fine. Good. Like your day couldn’t even get anything worser. 

Okay. Before you were going on your search around the tower you were going to get some chocolate. Preferably Tony’s chocolonely. Man, you loved that chocolate a lot. 

“Wait, [Y/N], don’t go further!”

You were interupted in your quest towards the kitchen by Tony’s loud screaming. Did he really just run around the tower in search for you?

“What.” 

To say that you were pissed was an underestimation. Nobody got to stand between you and your chocolate. Not even your uncle. Oh, plus he and the rest of the team decided to give you a little tour around the tower for no reason, even though you’ve been here for almost a year. 

“Uuhhh…”

“Well, for as long as you don’t know it, I’m going to get some chocolate.”

“Wait, stay here!”

“Why?”

You were getting really frustrated right here and now. 

“Because I’m trying to protect you okay!”

“Protect me? Tony why the heck are you trying to protect me! You’re not my dad!”

“That doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you! Listen to me [Y/N], you’ve got to come with me!”

“I can care about myself Tony! I’m a grown up and I don’t-”

You were suddenly stopped by the sight of Bucky. In company. With. A. Girl. They were standing pretty close together, and you could hear her laughing over something he had said right before you walked in. Neither of them had noticed you, or so it appeared, as you saw their faces get closer to each other. O god. O god. O -

“Kut!”

Before both of the people in front of you could even realise what was going on you were running away, out of the dooropening of the kitchen. You almost knocked Tony over, but you didn’t care anyway. All that you could think off was Bucky kissing some random girl in the kitchen.

When you reached your room hot tears were streaming down your face. Why were you even overreacting that much? Bucky had every right to go out and kiss any girl - heck even a GUY - if he wanted. He was free to go and you weren’t there to stop him. So why did you care so much about it?

You knew one thing for sure - this girl was the reason the rest of the team kept you occupied for the day. Apparantly they all knew what was going on except for you. And they tried to protect you. But from what? The heartache you felt right now?

It just hurted so much to see Bucky with anybody except you. Maybe you were just jealous. Jealous of the fact that Bucky had somebody else to make him happy that wasn’t you. 

You had to sit back on your bed when reality hit you. You had fallen in love with Bucky. Only to realise it when it was too late.


Training seemed to be the only thing to keep your mind off of anything. Business. Bucky. Chocolate. A certain boy named James. Hunger. Bucky kissing someone. The fact that you were still crying over something - or better to say, someone - you shouldn’t even be crying about.

Okay, maybe it didn’t work that well, given the fact that you were still worrying about almost everything. 

You were taken out of trance when the doors of the training room suddenly opened. A guy walked in, and you only needed to take a quick glance to mutter a few dutch curse words.

“Godverdomme.”

Bucky. Out of all the people that could have decided to go training it is Bucky. 

“What, aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Buck, I am THIS close to punching you in the face!”

You were mad at him. And for a good reason, or so you thought. Hey, he had made you feel like shit for the past few hours. A shitty reaction towards him could have been expected.

“You know that I have a metal arm doll.”

“And I have a metal will.”

Bucky sighed, a small smirk forming on his lips. God, did he really have to make it any harder to you?

“No you don’t.”

“Maybe I don’t… but still!”

“Okay, first of all, why do you want to punch me? Second of all, why did you scream some weird word in the kitchen? And as a last point, why are you trying to hirt the punching bag? It did nothing wrong to you!”

How were you ever going to explain this to him? You didn’t even realise you were crying again when he wiped away the tears on your face.

“Hey, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me.”

“Shouldn’t you go back to your girlfriend?”

It was out before you realised it. You didn’t even mean to say it so hatefull, but it came out that way anyway.

“You’ve seen us?”

“Why else do you think I was screaming the dutch equivalent to vagina in the kitchen?”

He laughed softly before looking back to you.

“She isn’t my girlfriend.”

“Than why were you kissing her?”

You were confused. Really confused. 

“Maybe because I was trying to forget about a certain someone, which obviously didn’t work. I mean, she interupted a kiss, which wasn’t even a good one by the way, by screaming and then running away. I was left with a really confused girl, you know. It was hard to explain.”

Realisation kicked you square in the face, leaving you breathless in front of Bucky and with a sudden hope that somehow couldn’t even be true. 

“You, you like me?”

He answered by the simplest gesture that you could think off. His face came closer to yours, his lips slowly touching yours, and all that you could think off was a loud ‘o god’ before he took away your thoughts and you slowly deepened the kiss.

*I like to think of the fact that before he was fully recovered, Bucky stayed at Steve’s place instead of the tower. I hope that this will explain everything that didn’t need to be explained lol
No Control: Part 2

Your alarm went off early the morning after the show in Singapore. You quickly jumped from your sleeping position in an effort to turn it off before it woke Harry. You got about an inch away from him, before you were pulled back down by the arm he had draped across your body.

“What is that ungodly sound?” Harry mumbled in his sleepy voice with his eyes still closed.

He pulls you closer to him and nuzzles into you. You rest your head on his chest, savoring the last couple minutes with his before you had to get up.

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Here is the jasico anime con au I said I would write.  Thanks to librosylozasucia for reading through this.  My awkward nerd boys.

Jason is a bit caught off guard when he and Leo walk into the hotel.  It’s not that he hadn’t been expecting… well, weird things, but the full extent of it just sort of blows him out of the water.  When he’d agreed to go with Leo to an anime con, he’d known he probably wasn’t going to be around your average crowd of people, but he’s seen a few animes and he likes them well enough.  He assumed he would fit in okay, meet some cool people, and Leo wouldn’t be alone.  God knows his best friend isn’t the most gifted at social interactions.  

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Promos, Plot Lines, Pendulums and Holy Sweet Mother of Zeus!

SPOILERS!!!! 

WOW! This has been a CRAZY couple of days. From the first promo, to the panel, to Brazil kicking reporting ass, to…..

THIS LITTLE SPOILER JESUS SPRINKLED IN STARDUST BEFORE HE SENT IT DOWN FOR THE WORLD TO BEHOLD.

Yes, Jesus totally ships Olicity. Obviously.

I’ll have an entirely seperate post about how I found out about the promo. Preview: I was with my parents. Stuck at their house helping with a garage sale. Losing power on my cell phone. COULD. NOT. WATCH. THE. PROMO. The only reason I survived was because Em tweeted me pictures. Think of it as Fandom CPR.

Let’s just get this out of the way….

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universe93  asked:

Freewood "I'm not cut out for this"!

Ahh this one was really fun, thank you for the prompt!! <3

Word Count: 2,350


Ryan first notices it when he catches a flash of reluctance in Gavin’s eyes as he aims his gold-plated pistol and fires off a round into the forehead of a cop in the middle of a heist. It’s barely a flicker of hesitation but it still happened. It stirs up some curiosity within Ryan’s mind, but he leaves it at that; nothing more than curiosity.

The second time is far less significant, but there’s no denying the fact that Gavin just knocked out a bank teller instead of shooting her. The others will assume that he’s saving bullets, but Ryan is close enough to hear the “I’m sorry” he mutters into the lady’s ear before clocking her around the back of her head with his gun.

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anonymous asked:

typical punk/nerd au where jack is usually tough/intimidating/kind of a douche, but he has this MASSIVE crush on hiccup, and he gets really flustered and nervous around the nerd and is under the impression that hiccup is the cutest person in school and way out of his league

(Hi anon, I hope this is okay! Here, have some fluffy pn!au)

*

Jack stares at the paper with a mix of outrage and shame, a little voice from the deepest point of his mind giving him hopes that the gesture will change the mark written on the white surface.

A red ‘F’ greets him . Again.

The numbers that fill his last Math exam stare back mockingly.The bell rings and he puts his things in his leather backpack without much care. He’s finally fuming with anger when he is at his locker gathering the books for his next classes.

A pair of perfectly polished brown shoes appears next to his chunky black boots and the punk looks at its owner.

Hayden ‘Hiccup’ Haddock smiles his trademark crooked grin and Jack debates between punching his locker’s door or running away like the coward he is.

Instead, he stutters like a scolded kid. “H-hey.”

“Hey”, freckled cheeks move upwards with the friendly (adorable) gesture, reddish bangs falling in front of the greenest eyes Jack has ever seen. “You seemed upset earlier, didn’t the exam go well?”

Jack shrugs in a hopefully unconcerned motion, even if he’s feeling super embarrassed right now. Talking about what an idiot you are with your crush must have that result.

Yeah, crush. Jack feels his face warming up slightly at the thought. Nobody would ever even think that the punk and the nerd knew each other, less that they had amiable conversations in the high-school’s corridors, but here they are: the picture in itself must be hilarious; a tall, bleach dyed and very tough looking troublemaker, clad in black leather and tattoos and piercings because there was ‘no way the school limited his right to express himself’, and a tiny, extremely cute exemplary student, covered in freckles and wool sweaters too big for his thin frame.

To say that Jack was smitten with Hiccup didn’t even start to explain the levels of his adoration for the smaller boy; how his heart fluttered in his chest every time he saw him in the corridors or the cafeteria, or how his eternally pale complexion blushed when the green eyed teen acknowledged his presence.

Since Hiccup moved to Burgess from his original home in Norway and entered the school’s building just a few months ago, Jack couldn’t think of anything else, and wanted to impress the boy at any chance given in hopes that he noticed him. The problem was that Hiccup didn’t seem interested in sports or pranks, which were Jack’s most recognized abilities, so the punk had to think of other things. He tried to do better at school, seeing that the foreign student was a downright nerd, actually paying attention in class and even studying for his
exams… And he improved his grades a lot (which his parents were completely surprised and happy for), at least in all his subjects, except one.

Math. Fucking Math.

“I failed again”, it sounds like a strangled groan and Hiccup looks at him pitifully. He slams his locker shut, but the smaller boy doesn’t even flinch.

“I thought so, seeing your face when the teacher gave you your paper”, Jack shrugs his shoulders again, careless attitude taking over his body language. Hiccup frowns for a moment. He knows that the punk’s studies matter to him; he has seen him asking questions to teachers after lessons and taking notes of everything. He doesn’t really know why Jack tries to act so subtle about it, though, and he feels bad for him. Then he smiles again, suddenly hit by an idea.

And that’s how they find themselves sitting next to each other in the library a few hours latter, classes finished and lunch eaten.

Hiccup is, unsurprisingly, really good at Math, and his teaching methods have Jack understanding every one of the mistakes he did in his exam in no time (as well as groaning in embarrassment and pulling at his white hair frustrated with himself.)

Jack thinks out loud and bites his pencil as he goes through some of the exercises. “How can I be so dumb?”

The question comes in a tiny, sad voice, and Hiccup suddenly sees Jack very vulnerable despite the alarming quantity of ink and metal on his skin. “You aren’t dumb.” The punk looks at him like a deer caught in the headlights and the freckled boy realizes that Jack had wanted to keep those words in his mind, but he is no backing away now. “In fact, I think you are really intelligent; maybe not ‘school-intelligent’ but smart, you know? Like, you’re really good at organizing the team in the field when you are losing and just need a well-planned strategy to win. Or, in the way you set up your pranks, how you prepare everything so it goes smoothly and just like you want it. It must take you a lot of thinking. And when you really make an effort, you get really good grades, which is okay… But it isn’t really that important, you know? Albert Einstein said once: ‘Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live his whole life believing it is stupid.’ So, what if you are not great at Math? You are a genius in your own way. Also, Math is a bitch.”

By the end of his speech Jack is too flustered and astonished to even process the fact that the well-mannered boy just cursed. He stutters over his words, trying to say ‘Thank you, nobody ever complimented my mind before’ and ‘You noticed me?’ at the same time. He finally shuts up and blushes to the tip of his ears. “Th-thank you.” He seems to cringe at his timid voice.

Hiccup smiles gently, the red in Jack’s cheeks making him look adorable, and he leans over the table to press a tiny kiss on one of them. “Don’t worry. Now, the following exercise…”

Hiccup’s voice trails off in Jack’s mind. The punk boy is too busy touching his heated cheek to really listen to him.