''man i should make a star trek thing''

one thing i’ve noticed about garashir fic is that there seem to be relatively few au’s compared to many other ships, so allow me to offer you ideas for some really terrible ones

  • “princess and the frog” au but it’s “prince and the lizard” and when julian kisses the lizard he doesn’t turn into a handsome young prince but a middle aged lizard man
  • pirate au where julian has a wooden leg and his british accent is swapped for the typical pirate slang and garak wears an eye patch and has a pet parrot that’s always on his shoulder and insults people’s fashion choices
  • au where garak actually really IS just plain simple garak the tailor and the first time they get into trouble that garak needs to save them from with his obsidian order knowledge they probably die
  • au where ds9 wasn’t built for long term residence by civilians but as a simple cardassian military base/ore processing unit and so quarters are a little more cramped and julian and garak share a bunk bed
  • au where cardassians resemble squids instead of lizards. i’ll let you imagine the rest for yourself with that one
  • au where instead of having his own tailoring business, garak works at quark’s as a dabo girl. garak and leeta have a bet going about who can seduce julian first
  • “our man bashir” au where there is an awkward moment because when garak enters the program there is no bond girl falling into julian’s arms. instead there is a bond garak. there are only bond garaks, some with terrible russian accents, some in lacy dresses
  • au where cardassian skin color is a little more variable than just plain simple grey, and garak’s scales are a hot pink with green plaid pattern, which garak is very self-conscious about, but since we all know julian’s sense of color and style is terrible he falls in love instantly
  • au where garak’s deep dark past that he keeps trying to hide is that he was a star in the immensely popular reality show keeping up with the cardassians. julian’s secret is that he can quote all of the episodes in their entirety and has been trying to hide this since garak first approached him in the replimat
  • au where julian’s genetic enhancements DID lead to a khan-like urge to take over the universe and he and garak fall in love when garak tries to assassinate him before he can conquer cardassia for his empire
  • au where instead of literature lunches, they have heated discussions about knitting. one time it gets so bad julian almost stabs garak with a knitting needle, but it’s okay because garak liked it he knits garak an apology hat with a super fluffy pom pom on top
  • a classic to end this on: coffeeshop au where julian works in the shop to make money for college and garak is the stressed bussiness man who comes in just to flirt with julian every morning, BUT it’s set in the netherlands in a dutch coffeeshop meaning a place that sells drugs so the fic is just them being high all the time