&this is how my mind works

Every day, I dig a hole
and bury myself.

I want the abyss to swallow me
or to simply vanish into a thin air.

There is a season of flattery
I carry you with me,
all the twigs that would keep me warm.

My own steps deny me, disapproval of the self.

Where is the promised sunflower? –

the name that cannot be written,
the pouring of love, a veil of suffering,
the entrance to nowhere?

I’m mimicking the death of my own soul,
salvation, where is the hand of yours?

There was a deep river in my eye sockets,
the endless running of spring, all dried up now.

How deception shook harder than an earthquake.

Where can we go so we can uncut our feelings?

I am filled with disabled asseveration

Perhaps I write too much just for my words
to do my dirty works,
so I can wash my hands.

Is it an ill of the mind,
to know things
yet we’re playing chess?

We’re back and forth
like a rocking chair,
lullabying in a mouthful
of kindness –

yet even
your tales smelt like
gardenia after the rain,
saccharine scented tongue,
filled with words
that could bring rain
to my deserted crux

How is it that you live here?
not only in my head
but in my walls, ceiling
corridors, bathroom,
backyard, kitchen,
lounge room even my routines?

My own cavity I must fill,
the void that resembles
a black hole,
where to exit when
there is no sign?
how to get rid of a ghost
when I am it?

I suppose I am a dumb prophet
furnish me with your
sweet nothings
and I’ll believe you
even with the truth
ridding on my shoulder.

D C de Oliveira
19.10.2017

My sister took this pic
I just happened to be in it

the only reasons to use pronouns which do not match your gender is when you’re a trans person in a situation where it would be unsafe to out yourself, and when you are acting and playing a character of the opposite gender.

otherwise? nah. she/her is for women and he/him is for men. that’s not me being close-minded or stubborn, that’s literally just how pronouns work and what they are literally for

i literally don’t know what else to say except that, outside of the two aforementioned circumstances, there is no reason whatsoever for one to use the opposite pronouns for their gender. 

-Those Writers-

—–

What about those deep beautiful poems?

How are they made?

How those words would rhyme?

How their authors thought of them?

—–

I am jelous

Of those wonderful piece

Everytime I encounter one

I get stunned and amazed

How can one mind carry this weight?

Connecting those heavy words and

Line them up one after another

—–

I am writing

Writing in the most simplest way

Still on my way to be deep and be better

Words will suddenly came to my head

Keep me awake until I wrote them

Tring my best to put them

In a beautiful display

—–

I admire the works of many

I’m so caught up by the beauty of thier piece

Sometimes I tend to have insecurities

I judged my own

How simple, how generic

But now I understand

All of us has its unique identity and flavor

—–

But to you, to me, and to everyone

Keep writing, keep it burning

Pour out your heart, speak your mind

Someone like me, and many of us around

Love to hear from you, love to read your work

I love how you put your thoughts

How you keep them all together

Displaying them like the most expensive photo


//Me to You//You are my favourite//


Df.

psyllx  asked:

I have a question. So I’m afraid of the dark.. how exactly would that even work? If you were to use that to invoke fear I mean. It’s been dancing around in my mind for weeks.

Hmm hmm …  So  C u Ri o U S  s O   Cu rio U S ….  But  T e L  L  in  G   you  R u IN S  the  FU N 

Stitches

I have decided that I don’t like how asks work on mobile so from now I’ll just do this

I’m really glad I got to write this!! Thanks for the prompt

Also, I’m a fuckin idiot, forgot the exact wording of the ask and wrote most of this as platonic. If you want me to, I can write something properly shippy for the same prompt (or a different one) to make up for it

Second Chance AU

Prompt: “Don’t cry.”

Characters: Marvin, Jackie

Word count: 950

Warnings: bit of reference to past abuse.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

My boyfriend said he needed a break to find himself and who he is without me and said that he wouldn’t look for anyone else cause he doesn’t want a relationship right now but one of my friends found him on dating apps. I still really love him because we’ve been together for 3 years and I don’t want to start over and lose him. What do I do?

I’d say that you have to just trust him but I know how a mind will only think what it wants. I would take this time to find yourself too, see who you are as a person and what you really want, what life without him is like, and just try to live as best as you can with these new feelings. If it all works out then it will, but you have to prepare for the worst just in case too 

Please, don’t cry over this. I don’t like it when people cry, and it makes me feel bad. I’m just extremely stressed and I want to get this out. Also, I want to apologize to the people out there who are offended by this.

There are so many things I want to apologize for. So many things. People tell me, “You beat yourself up too hard.” I do, trust me, I do. But, some things I regret I almost instantly take back. The point is I feel like I’m annoying everybody. With my words. My actions. Everything. I feel like I’m nothing to society. People tell me, “They have work to do.” But, what if they didn’t? I constantly remind myself, each and every single day, that no matter how many times I text that I should just stop. My mind says, “You’re annoying them.” I’ll scream back, saying maybe that they’re just bored to text back. But no. Voices. Upon thousands of voices fill my mind, screaming, saying,

“You’re worthless! Why would they answer someone like you?”

“They’re just annoyed by you.”

“They’re screaming at you! They’re telling you to shut up!”

“They’re not working, they’re just annoyed by your antics!”

“SHUT UP, YOU’RE WORTHLESS, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU.”

Shut up. The one word that had affected me my whole life. I’m kinda like Richie. The way he just doesn’t shut up. Constantly talking. I feel like that. That society screams at me to just shut up. Texting is the one thing I’m kinda addicted too. Every day people say, “Yeah, I’ve got something to do, see ya.” And I completely understand that. It’s just that feelings start to build in me after a few days pass. Will they ever answer me? Will they just ignore me? Will they just tell me lies? Will they..

I’m frightened.

Scared even.

By the fact that people just, hate me.

That’s the reason I came here. To be free.

The society that I joined. The IT society is one of the best things I’ve ever exprienced. Everyone is so nice to each other. They respect each other, one way or another, and that is what I loved about it. I PM a lot of people too. They were all so nice. So kind with their words. But, I was still frightened.

Then, one day, some of them disappeared.

I began to fear that they hated me, I started to beat myself up again.

I wanted to scream, scream to the world to notice me.

But I never did get noticed.

I was afraid that, the people I walked with, made friends with, made conversations with..

Texted with, pm with…

I was afraid of being hated all over again.

@eddiekaspbraks @violetlovesherdaddyclown @robertgray-aka-pennywise @27floats-later @stanthemansuris @pennywisewinter @brvndneweyes @pennywisedaddywise @beep-beep-reddie @flowercrown-waltz @fittlestix @danciingclxwn @sugarcopic @richies-spaghetti

Headcanons for Inkzura because my brain won’t quit thinking about it:


  • Has no mouth to talk, the only sound she can create is a muffled moaning and screaming
  • She has jumbled memories of every single Searcher’s past life and visions, all garbled along with her own, so it’s difficult to focus on who she was and definitely needs help on it
  • I like to imagine that with some proper training she can shift her shape and eventually gain a humanoid look like Sammy did but it takes a lot of work and determination
  • Just imagine Bendy giving her stuff that she usually wears to differentiate her from the other ink monsters
  • And showing her little book of pictures she took of her family and friends around the multiverse and not recognizing any of them
  • When she does learn how to develop a voice box, it sounds gargled like someone with a terrible cough because of the think black ink running down her pipes
  • Some time in the future she accepts the fact that she’s now in this inky form and tries to live with it


Bad ending:

Bendy gets locked away by Joey and he has no idea what happened to his friend and Joey told him that she left and doesn’t care about him at all once he was out. One of the searchers beside Joey seemed to be distressed and confused and unknown to Bendy, that’s her.

3

Zombie Lance au?

Lance is a pizza delivery boy + tired college student who happens to snack on people, and Keith managed to stumble upon him having dinner once (nice first impression amiright). Before Keith could really realize what was happening, Lance bolted, leaving him wondering about it until his pizza boy shows up at his front door like a week later.

yea it’s klance

2

me @ those haters who’re trying to smear super junior members

Sometimes I’ll be sitting in my room, perfectly fine, and then I just get slammed by this wave of loneliness and I hate it

Marinette Bourgeois

So, after seeing this gifset, I wondered what might happen if Chloe made a little mistake when she tried to call Marinette by her full name. @agrestenoir and @breeeliss encouraged me, and well, here we are. Hope you enjoy!


Every morning began the same way. Marinette was almost used to it now, even if she dreaded it. Chloe would saunter up to her desk and give her daily critique of Marinette’s appearance before tossing her hair and returning to her seat at the front of the classroom. By now, Marinette was accustomed to it, and the harsh words rolled off her much easier than they had in years past, but she was eager for the day Chloe grew out of it.

“Marinette Bourgeois…” Chloe began in that familiar lilt. “Who let you out of the house wearing that?”

“This dress is-” Marinette stopped, processed exactly what Chloe had said, then looked up at her. “What did you say?”

Chloe huffed. “Weren’t you listening? I asked you who-”

“No, the first part.” A slow, dangerous smirk spread over Marinette’s lips as she leaned closer. “My name.”

Keep reading

NEW BLOG POST IS UP! 🌼

Lately I have felt like my life isn’t quite on track. I got busy, I dropped the ball on my usual routine and I let things slip. My house got messy which always has a way of overwhelming me, I felt unmotivated at work and hit a bit of a slump in my mood. I also had this feeling that I was forgetting something constantly. My mind just felt blank. So I decided to get back in control! And it is the best feeling!

Here’s how I cut out the chaos: bit.ly/2xeSWsR 🙌🏼

I’ve killed myself 12 times in my head today and I wish at least 1 of them was real

I’m perfectly fine with the latest chapters of SNK. Not only because finally we are having the warriors’ past but also because Isayama is showing us how the people of Marley is, so we can have a perspective from both sides. Both worlds will crash soon and I think is good to know how both works instead of the typical story where you only see one of them (the one is shown with the main character) and the other is just “the enemies”.