&cracktastic

Its atomwave week, and today’s theme is music, so I thought I’d share a very silly headcanon with you all. Ray Palmer has a totally embarrassing taste in music (you know its true!). Mick is less than impressed but totally gets his own back by playing uptown girl loudly outside Ray’s door 

Heres the song in case you heathens dont recognize it [link]

Queens of Darkness spinoff

half-hour web series that goes with Once. small town, big magical drama.

Maleficent gets some tedious taxes and paperwork job for the town, because Regina’s out of the office often saving the town, going to Camelot and the Underworld but governing still has to happen. It is mind-numbingly complicated and involves so many forms, mayoring used to be a full time job for Regina, after all, before the Snow Queen and Peter Pan and the Camelot invasion. 

She secretly loves it. It’s like being able to horde an entire town. She’s also very patient, and meetings take a distinctly different tone. 

Ursula returns from the far oceans because she misses the internet , and indoor plumbing. Her father and other merfolk visit, occasionally. She opens a bar. Hilariously, at first it’s just ‘the dive bar’ but it sticks. It has a strange sort of underwater and antique aesthetic and she performs several nights a week. 

Since Storybrooke has a housing shortage, Ursula and Maleficent live together in a big old Victorian house (like the Dark Swan house). Ursula takes forever in the shower, but she sings beautifully. Maleficent has a collection of various kinds of hot sauce that takes up a whole cupboard. 

Cruella discovers she can haunt them both, as she’s now queen of the underworld. (turns out it’s meant to be a ghastly place, and she’s really quite good at convincing people to move on in one way or another). She appears in mirrors, in glasses of water, anything reflective, and she can occasionally possess animals, to hilarious effect. (squirrels, rabbits, the neighbor’s cat). 

She jokes that she could possess Maleficent in dragon form, but they’re trying to get along. Cruella didn’t really abandon Lily in the woods, she brought her to a fire station and left her with some very attractive firefighters. How was she supposed to know that Lily wouldn’t stay there and grow up with them? She would have left herself there if she could have. 

Lily gets pissed off and accidentally destroys her apartment by turning into a dragon and has to move in with them because no one else will rent to her. Leading to the hilarious problem where everyone but Lily knows Regina is Lily’s other mother. (Cruella promises not to tell because she wants to see Lily’s face when Mal eventually has to tell her). 

Maleficent’s quietly unrequited love for the Evil Queen turned heroic Mayor of Storybrooke is hilarious to Cruella (She’s gone soft, how can you find that attractive, Mal, really?) and Ursula (Well, the chances of actually having a successful relationship are much better now that you’re both reformed, less curses, less heroes causing trouble.)

Kathryn returns from law school, now a real lawyer and sets up a magic friendly legal practice, as well as helping Maleficent with the town business when Regina’s away. She’s also their neighbor, who has a cat that Cruella keeps possessing.

They have over the fence style discussions and garden together (Ursula can uproot anything and Maleficent is very good at weed control). Kathryn helps them navigate.

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There’s something definitely… ironic… when a bunch of fanfic authors sit around and laugh about how “trashy” and “shitty” historical romance novels are.

Like honestly, this is part of why I haven’t written more of any of my historical AUs: if you’re gonna laugh about it and talk about how ridiculous and lulzy the genre is, I do nooot want to crank out more for you to be snidely ironic about.

If I’m writing something, it’s because I believe in it. Even if I know it’s cracktastic and not up to high artistic standards–I’m doing it because I believe that spontaneity and play are important in creative communities.  But it knocks me down every time someone acts like the stuff I make is worthy of contempt or mockery.

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Look, y’all know what we’re like by now, so @thefairfleming​ and I present:

The Stallion Who Mounts The West*, aka the Jon x Dany Crack Western AU: an OTP: Here’s A Thing Joint

Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones
Pairing: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen
Rating: Gen now, but will probably get filthy because that’s how we roll
Summary: Jon is a lonely rancher, isolated, tormented by past love. Dany is a dispossessed drifter, looking to reclaim what’s hers. Sexy hijinks ensue.


* - sorry**
** - not sorry

~

It’s like something out of a movie. The sort of movies Jon’s always scoffed at, with their romanticized versions of a West that never existed, one with noble cowboys whose guns only ever shot a villain’s hand no matter where they were aimed, winsome ranch wives and attractive drifters, no racial strife and none of the tedium that comes with setting fence posts or battling an endless variation of pests. All dream and no reality. All hat and no cattle. A drifter is as unlikely to be attractive as he’s likely to be an escapee from the prison down the interstate.

But as the woman riding at a slow clip down his isolated drive comes into focus, Jon realizes he may have to reevaluate his ideas on the relative appeal of drifters.

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cracktastic replied to your post: today is one of those days i think about all the…

remember the sam / blaine cowboy au

the blam cowboy au. the klaine “blaine is kurt’s imaginary friend/guardian angel” au. the klaine “kurt sees the death of everyone he knows, falls in love with blaine, has a crisis of whether or not he should intervene or let fate take its course” au. the incredibly in depth spn/glee au i made a 4 page outline for where finn and kurt are hunters and blaine is an angel who’s the keyholder to the garden of eden. that one hunger games au me and andie came up with. i have an AU problem

I blame @fairytalefix, @laura-p-g and @hezzer19 for suggesting that Mal could be a shy baby dragon. 

I totally didn’t did need to write fic where Mal agrees to help Henry with a spell to find Emma and gets de-aged down to a hatchling for a month. For reasons. (I’m not sure what reasons). 

Regina looks after a shy baby dragon. 

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The Force Awakens + Moulin Rouge AU

“The Moulin Rouge. A night club, a dance hall and a bordello. Ruled over by Captain Phasma. A kingdom of night time pleasures. Where the rich and powerful came to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the underworld. The most beautiful of these was the one I loved. Kylo Ren. A courtesan. He sold his love to men and women. They called him the “Sparkling Diamond”, and he was the star… of the Moulin Rouge.” - Rey


This is a collaboration with @mster70 based on the cracktastic idea that @radiojamming, @machinewithoutfeelings, @mster70 and I came up with in the Reylo chat. Basically, it’s Moulin Rouge but with Kylo as Satine and Rey as Christian. The rest of our cast you can see above.