Welcome friends to yet another day in crazy town. That’s right ladies and gays, it’s Simsrena time! (If this were TV there’d be music… Oh. My. God. I NEED A THEME TUNE!)
As I haven’t been able to play Sims in a few days I figured that we needed some down time. And downtime in Simsrena world means, time for a holiday! Buckle up peeps, it’s going to be a long one!
Oh yes. I’ve once again picked up my mission. That’s right. I see you woohoo and I stand here before you and challenge thee…. wait… what am I doing with my life?
So…. after I finished being weird hahaha! I’m so not finished being weird! I decided to send our sexually frustrated lovely women on a dirty romantic weekend getaway. Stop judging me! You know you want this as much I do!
Attempt number one: A romantic Stately Home
Bernie and Serena seemed quite content to walk around the gardens, take in the views and have deep conversations….
Yeah I made them kiss and stare at each other with goo-goo eyes while they walked and talked. I have no shame!
Everything was going really well. They were feeling flirty, and not just regular flirty, oh no! They were VERY flirty. Primed for woohoo is what that basically translates to ladies and gays.
HOWEVER! The fucking Stately Home didn’t have a bed!!!!
Oh, nah ah. I’m outta here. Time for a cuppa.
Attempt number two: A Cute Little Village
I mean, who can resist the allure of this adorable little place? A few cafes, a nice water fountain for ambience, an annoying guy that kept singing all the time. Just what you want in a village atmosphere right?
So I tried to get the waiter to serve us some coffee, or a glass of wine I’m not fussy and neither are they, but she was too busy chatting. What do you get paid for?! But when I came back it seemed Serena had it all under control…
Oh yeah, I see what you guys are doing. You came here just to sit and make goo-goo eyes at each other again. Ok. That’s cool. I’m fine with that. We can all count on Serena to show a girl a good time. Boom! Went there :P
While I was working very hard at getting them to be flirty our annoying wonderful women decided they weren’t in the mood for romance so I let them do what they wanted. Bitches. That turned out to be Serena making a wish in the fountain to which my reaction was: let them woohoo, let them woohoo, let them woohoo! We don’t want to waste that very valuable penny now do we?
And apparently Bernie can’t take her eyes of Serena when she’s making a wish in the fountain. Well, I mean, whatever floats ya boat Bern. No judging from me.
So no woohoo in the village and I mean, I’m on the edge of ending it all here. I mean… what’s wrong with you both!!!
But then this happened and I thought, yeah ok, you’re worth it!
Look at dem faces!!!!!!
So we headed back home, relaxed and happy but still sexually frustrated. Serena invited Bernie in for a night cap and poured herself a glass of wine (obvs!) and made Bernie… well… this thing….
A tankard Serena? You gave her a thing with cream and cherry on top? In a tankard?
Anyway, just as I was about to admit that I failed in my mission tonight I saw Bernie flirting with Serena before this happened….
Oh yeah ladies and gays! It happened! They woohoo’d!!!!!!!! Look at them go! Hahaha!!!
A slightly different note, I didn’t just spend an hour playing this more like 2.5 hours but shut up trying to get them in the mood for woohoo by sending them on holiday only to have them take the leap themselves after a weird drink in a tankard in Serena’s flat. Oh no. That didn’t happen. It’s ok. No problem. I… I’m…
At least it didn’t happen off screen!!!
What should my next mission be? Bring it on ladies and gays!
Everything is the same but the SMH and the Lax Bros are besties and frequently host sleepovers. They have a fierce competition in which the goal is to be sneakily nice and do good deeds without the other team finding exactly which player to thank. The SMH has the advantage because they can just say "Thanks Chad!"
One of my best friends Paris McGee from Ohio State (the kid from OSU that did Laurie and Simone’s floor routine x) gave a little nod to *our* queen Khorkina since it was her birthday doing one of her signiture “quick turn” salutes after nailing his DTY. Again just wanted to promote my friends.
And I will fight you if you clock him on this. Ya’ll say MAG is lifeless and robotic or is overly masc and testosterone filled….so here you go a little flair to spice it up.