Okay, so when I read this kaisoo fanfic I made a terrible mistake and I read it while listening to 그리고, 남겨진 것들 for 넬 (The Day Before by Nell).
Before reading the fanfic, I had no idea what it was about. I knew it was angsty and heartbreaking and sad, so I was like to myself hey! Why don’t I listen to this sad song while reading this sad fanfic to be even more sad! (Yeah I know)
What shocked me while reading, is how strongly the song matched the scenes in the fan fiction. I kid you not. If you have read it, listen to the song and read the words here
I had to stop and take a moment both from crying from this heart wrenching fic and to let the song sink in The song and the fic perfectly match. Not only when it comes to lyrics but also the MV! (Watch it here)
Now, I don’t have a clear idea about what’s going on in the mv, but you have these two guys and one is scribbling and the other filming the one who was scribbling talking and then he starts to weaken as if he’s slipping or dozing off but then it looks like he doesn’t have any power left as if he’s dying? And then he closes his eyes and I’m sure he passes away. And then the one who was filming closes the camera. Now I’m not saying it’s exactly the same as the fan fiction’s incidents, but somehow to me at least I could see the guy who was filming as kyungsoo and the guy who, dare I say, passed away, as jongin and idk maybe it’s just me but I really do.
Here he was scribbling something
Here they show us how they’re sitting facing each other and they seem close
He starts losing conscious for a bit?
Here too, and it’s like he’s trying so hard to focus or that his head hurts
Here the other guy is almost going to cry
He passes away ㅠㅠ
The other guy is alone(?)
He closes the camera thingy
And he’s gone(???)
See I don’t know, maybe I’m delulu, maybe I’m too emotional but I connect this song to the fan fiction and both of them now have a special meaning to me.
I don’t even care that this video came out last year, I love this song and MV. It’s just so beautiful. This is The Day Before by Nell. Here is what they say in the MV:
-Why did you call?
-I wanted to thank you.
-I’ll tell you soon, okay? *sips&reads* Do you think that everything gets better in the end?
-Well that depends
-*closes book* For me, I mean.
-Ah, for you?
-You think it could? *pours poison*
-*frowns* Why did you call me here…
-Well… *sips* To thank you, for being a good friend throughout my whole life. *frowns* It’s starting to hurt now…but at least I know that all the pain will be gone soon. I can finally say I got through all this.
사실은 그래 흩어지는데 붙잡아 뭐해
마음만 더 아프게
근데 이렇게 살아지는 게
또 어떤 의미가 있는 건가 싶긴해
Truthfully, it’s like this: why hold on to things that are breaking apart?
Your heart will only be hurt more.
Though, I’d still like to know
what purpose there is to living this way, and yet…