Friends Are The Best At Helping You Cope With Grief And Here's Why:
  • Roommate: Ta-da! Your cheer up adventure begins here!
  • Me: *unenthused* This is the bus station.
  • Roommate: Yes, I thought showing you such miserable poverty would make you feel better about your own situation. Everyday these people willingly herd themselves into these giant limos. They're not even cool giant limos like my dad's hummer limos. I think if you combined the amount of money spread amongst all of these people, they could barely afford a single flight on my private jet. What a truly miserable existence.
  • Me: I ride the bus to work everyday.
  • Roommate: Oh! *flicks hair* Well, you should find comfort in being in familiar area surrounded by people you can relate with.
  • Me: I just want to go home, lie down, and not be conscious for a while.
  • Roommate: No! Not until you're happy. Think about things that make you happy, like your boyfriend.
  • Me: My ex? Heh, thinking of him just makes me want to die.
  • Roommate: No, your new boyfriend! The clammy hands one.
  • Me: Oh, him. We haven't talked in a long time. He made things awkward.
  • Roommate: Didn't you say he was perfect?
  • Me: Yeah, but-
  • Roommate: But nothing! You need to be happy. I'm tired of seeing you sad. I didn't move into your apartment so I could be around a negative Nancy who brings down the mood all the time! We're going to go find your boyfriend and you're going to be happy. *grabs my arm*
  • Me: *shakes her off* Listen, I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I need time to grieve before I can be happy again.
  • Roommate: Grieve over what?
  • Me: *frowns* Uhm, my mom. She died.
  • Roommate: Your mom died? When did that happen?
  • Me: Just last week. I told you right after it happened. I couldn't stop crying about it all week.
  • Roommate: Well, get over it!
  • Me: *gasps* I can't just get over it! I loved my mom! We were very close! She was always so good to me!
  • Roommate: That's a weird relationship to have with your mom. I hated my mom so much that I had her assassinated.
  • Me: Not everyone's lives are like yours- wait, what!? You assassinated your mom!?
  • Roommate: I mean, yeah. She was kind of a bitch. Kept complaining to my dad about me lacking "empathy" or whatever that means. He was gonna send me to some boring all girl's school in the Finnish countryside. I couldn't have that, so I paid someone to get rid of her.
  • Me: You're a monster!
  • Roommate: Whatever. My mom had her mom assassinated, and hopefully I'll get assassinated by my daughter's orders too. It's a family tradition.