❦: the hobbit

The Six Types of Middle-Earth Names

1. Characters whose Names are Secretly Insults: 

Samwise: means “Half-wise” or “Half-wit.” He is Stupid Gamgee

Faramir: Boromir’s name means “steadfast jewel”, but Faramir’s name just means “sufficient jewel.”


Denethor took one look at baby Faramir and thought “eh I guess he exists or whatever” which is very in character

 2. Characters who Have Way Too Many Names

Examples include Aragorn son of Arathorn son of Arador heir of Isildur Elendil’s son, descendant of Numenor,  Thorongill,  Eagle of the Star,  Dúnadan, Strider,  Wingfoot, Longshanks, Elessar, Edhelharn, Elfstone, Estel, Hope, The Chieftain of the Dúnedain, King of the West, High King of Gondor and Arnor, and Envinyatar the Renewer of the House of Telcontar

Wait I’m sorry did I say “examples” plural

Cuz that was all one guy

3. Characters whose parents must’ve been prophets

-Frodo means “wise by experience.” His story is about becoming wise by experience
-A lady named Elwing turns into a bird (geddit)

4. Characters whose families were so lazy that they copy-pasted the same first half of a name onto multiple people

Éomer/ Éomund/Éowyn/Éorl
Elladan/Elrohir/Elrond/Elros/Elwing/Elenwë/Elendil/Eldarion (the laziest family) 

5.Characters whose Names are Expertly Designed so that Newbies can’t Remember Who is Who and Feel Sad

All the people mentioned in number 4
Celeborn, Celegorm, Celebrimbor, Celebrian
All the rhyming dwarf names in the Hobbit
Sauron and Saruman
Arwen and Éowyn

6. Name so nice, you say it twice

Legoas Greenleaf: Legolas’s first name means “Greenleaf” in elvish. Legolas is Greenleaf Greenleaf (thranduil really likes green leaves ok)

King Théoden’s name means King in Rohirric. Tolkien decided to name his king “King.” All hail King King

 this is what the fanbase means when we say tolkien was a creative genius with language

Bonus: Weasel AU

This takes place in the same ‘verse as this and this story.

Yes, I have a problem, okay? But hey, if someone would like to give me prompts for this ‘verse, I would happily accept them.

Kili squeaked with surprise as Fili poked his belly all of a sudden, giggling softly. The shifter glared at him indignantly, the unexpected touch had startled him out of his state of contentment. He’d felt warm and loved as he cuddled close to the blond and just when he stretched on the mattress, still tired from a long night full of gentle touches and whispered promises, trying to get a little more awake, the attack yanked him out of the wonderful feeling of peace.

He huffed. Of course he would never be angry about something as this, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t mourn the loss of a sleepy morning. Meanwhile Fili grinned at him far too smug.

“Someone has put on weight,” he teased him softly.

“I have not!” Kili denied on instinct. Only when Fili poked him again, murmuring an amused “sure”, did his gaze wander.

Keep reading

Rage - Thranduil Imagine

Request by anon:  Hi I love your writing, can I please request a one-shot where, during a battle, you’re kidnapped by orcs and Thranduil going on a killing rampage, just to get you back. Credit for Imagine: greenleaf-writings xx

Credit for Imagine: @greenleaf-writings

~(Y/N)’s pov~

“Y/N at least let a guard come with you.” Thranduil tries to convince me again and I roll my eyes.

“No. I just want to go for a walk, nothing’s going to happen for the love of Valar.” I say stubbornly. My husband sighs and looks me in the eyes.

“Then be careful.” He says and turns around. I leave outside, into the forest. Thranduil hardly lets me to go for walks alone, because of all the Orcs and spiders in Mirkwood and the war that is just around the corner, it takes a lot of convincing for him to let me go. I understand that he only wants me to be safe but he needs to understand that I need some freedom, I wasn’t always a queen of Woodland Realm, I was a princess of the near kingdom, and it was peaceful and I could go anywhere where I wanted, and I loved being outside, I have a free spirit. That’s one of the reasons Thranduil loves me. And now it’s hard for me to sit in the castle when I have such a pretty nature surrounding me.

I drag my hand over the trees and smile. It’s been a long time since I took a walk through my kingdom. I look up at the sun and close my eyes letting it warm up my face. I spin around happily, a laugh escaping my lips. Then some noise in the distance brings me back to reality. I open my eyes and stand steadily observing my surroundings. I hear the same noise again but this time behind me and closer. I turn around quickly but I see nothing again. Then it’s getting louder and it feels like it’s on the every side of me, I look around myself and see a shadow. It goes behind me and I turn around once again now seeing a orc clearly, it takes his sword out and I scream hoping that someone would hear me. The orc just grins evilly and I straighten my face, I’m not giving up without a fight.

~Thranduil’s pov~

It’s been hour and a half since Y/N left for the walk. I pace around the throne room expecting her to come back. I hear footsteps rushing into the room and I look at the doors with hope in my eyes, but instead my wife a guard comes running in.

“My lord, we heard Queen Y/N scream in the woods and we searched the whole wood but we couldn’t find her. But we found an orcs belt and some blood was spilled. Y/N’s blood.” The guard says and I feel rage building up inside of me immediately. 

“And you did what? Just came back without searching for any traces?” I yell angrily. 

“No my lord, two guards are still in the wood trying to find anything that might help us find her. I came here to inform you about the event. We thought that you would come with us.” He says and I take a deep breath.

“Go prepare my horse and wait for me.” I say and storm off in my room to change.

~(Y/N)’s pov~

I struggle against the ropes that orcs have tied around me but I can’t do anything. I try to spit the fabric out of my mouth but I can’t do that too since it’s tied around my head. 

“Stop moving you elf!” One awfully ugly orc (which one is not ugly) yells at me and I furrow my eyebrows. That is honestly the best thing he could come up with to say? I don’t even know how they work considering they have no brains. 

“I’m starving! We haven’t eaten any meat in weeks!” The other one yells and almost everyone agrees.

“Feel free to try and find any meat in these woods, after you enter deep enough you will be the meal for the spiders.” I look at the orc who said that and I assume that he is the leader of this group.

“Why don’t we eat her?!” A voice in the crowd yells and my eyes widen. I’m the only ‘her’ in here. 

“Stay away you scum! We need her!” The leader yells throwing the orc on the ground. 

“Well what about her legs? She don’t need them.” First of all, someone needs to teach these orcs some grammar and second, I’m doomed. The orc starts running towards me with a knife in his hands and I close my eyes waiting for the impact. Suddenly I hear a whiz and I open my eyes to see orc lying dead on the floor with an arrow in his head. All the orcs take their weapons out and I quickly look to my right and see Thranduil and his guards. Thank Valar they found me. I watch as Thranduil cuts their heads of angrily, he falls of his horse but he gets up immediately. Honestly I have never seen this much amount of rage in him. He continues to fight with so much grace that it makes me wonder how much experience he really has. One guard runs to me and cuts the ropes and I get up.

“Thank you.” I say and he nods. Then from behind orc stabs him in the chest and he falls dead on the ground. I look up and see orc grinning evilly at me, I make three steps backwards and just when I turned around and wanted to run he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. He presses his sword against my neck, holding me tightly. 

“Y/N!” Thranduil shouts and I look up to see him looking at my direction. They have killed every orc except the one holding me, “Release her.”

“You think you can just order me around?” The orc spats as I breath heavily. Thranduil makes a step forward but the orc pushes his sword stronger and I wince, making my husband stop.

“Release her and we will spare your life.” Thranduil says and the orc laughs. I can’t stand him anymore so I kick him in the knee hard and he drops the sword from my neck, I kick him in the nose with my head making him to release me completely, I take his sword from his hand and stab him in the chest. I take the sword out and he falls on the ground, dead. l drop the sword and turn around, I run into my husband’s arms and he hugs me tightly. I feel his rage washing away and I sigh.

“You came.” I whisper.

“Of course I came, my love.” He says tightening his grip around me, “I would never let anything happen to you.”

“Thank you.” I say and look up at him. He smiles softly and brushes a strand of my hair from my face. 

“You are not going anywhere alone anymore, not even with guards. I will be by your side all the time.” He says and I laugh.

“I knew you would say that.” He smiles again and leans down to kiss me.



The Superlatively Superfluous Adventures of Legolas and Tauriel

Dateline: Dale (3/40)