and how everything revolves around our soft boys, Andrew and Neil
before this begins: neil is not a josten, but a hatford. this is set in a remote town in california, and andrew has pink hair because he wanted renee to test it on him
andrew joseph minyard, for all intents and purposes, does not want to associate himself with Anyone, if he could help it.
he does his group projects so efficiently, his classmates deem him the lifeguard to all group projects
he avoids having to sit in lunch with anyone save for renee and aaron, if he can
he’s always on the rush to get home because he can’t take just using pain meds to get rid of the horrible, horrible feeling of disorientation
he also has this long-standing dislike of jocks bolstered by either of 3 things: a) he’s a natural genius, b) he’s gay, and c) aaron had to assault one for getting andrew roofied at the freshman mixer.
ENTER: neil abram hatford
neil and kevin are new to The States. being friends since neil was eight (when kayleigh finally settled down from bumming around in ireland), kevin and neil were basically stuck to the hip.
they transferred to the US when kevin finally landed himself an exchange program in california, neil because he could, kevin because of his dad, and both because they were tired of the ravens at their old boarding school
as soon as the school year starts, both of our lovable idiots join the soccer team (sorry, no exy :( ). they take the same spanish class, the same history class, and even have the same lunch blocks. so basically, they do everything they did back in the UK
so technically second year debate team genius Andrew Minyard shouldn’t actually care about first year exchange student and jock Neil Hatford
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The truth is Ed isn’t real. My name is Rupert Grint. After Potter, all I wanted to do was stretch myself, create some real
magic, so I created a character. He’d have the voice of an angel,
impossibly wispy facial hair, so I bought a guitar and a bunch of
flannel and I called him Ed, Ed Sheeran. Such a weird name, right? Not a cool name like Rupert Grint.
I just didn’t expect everyone to think he was real. He became my greatest acting achievement and the bane of my existence.
I hate cats. All of them. Mine, Taylor’s, f**king allergic to them.
I can’t balance it any more. From this day forward Ed is no more.
Aaagjfkfnkshemrnnel!!!! I need more HS!au in my life , pleaaase ????
omg i still can’t believe people like this au!!! i’m gonna do my best and shitpost some humor for these silly boys
you think kevin can do basic shit on his own without doubting himself?
the answer is no
not at all, ever
the only reason kayleigh day trusted her son to transfer to a school halfway across the world was because neil was with him
speaking of, the plane ride to cali was definitely fun
poor kev had a panic attack on the way over. the most neil could glean from him was that he was finally going to see his dad and adopted sister without shitty wifi, or smth. he wasn’t really paying attention at the time
(he was trying to watch the avengers, kevin)
and we all know neil is not the. well. best. when it comes to comfort. he ends up bantering with kevin for 20 minutes and that’s what eventually gets kevin to calm down and breathe, during this time he had his movie paused because he’s a good bro
since they have several classes together, they’re always paired up
mostly because the teachers don’t want to really separate the foreign exchange kids but also because kevin will throw a hissy fit
in their former school, neil knows how much kevin hates making decisions
which, unsurprisingly, is a self-aware inside joke between them
kevin: we need to get this project done. stop doodling on your notes you shit
neil: you wanna do the project with someone else? jerry over there looks lonely
kevin: i was just stating my opinion, get back here
this also includes neil getting kevin shit without even thinking about it, like food or a stress ball
neil: you were out of toothpaste so i got you some
kevin: how the fuck did you know i was out of toothpaste
now, andrew got some chub. he avoids sports like the plague (completely out of spite because no, he doesn’t want to join the baseball team, thank-you-very-much) and only barely tolerates exercising
he’s on the debate team and has homework to do. he doesn’t have time for stick-ball or kicky my legy out rly far-ball
(he has thighs of steel, though. neil uses them as a pillow when he can get away with it, because they’re firm but he got the Squish)
since neil and andrew meet via tutoring, this gives a lot of opportunities to let them play their truth games in between study sessions
neil, scribbling away at his bio lab: how’d you get deaf in one ear?
andrew, checking neil’s english lang paper: i don’t know. why’d you and kevin transfer from england to a backwater american high school halfway through the year?
neil: mostly because wymack is kevin’s dad, but also because our old boarding school was. well. i’ll just say it’s unsavory to talk about such things in public.
andrew: good enough for now, harford. i lost hearing in my ear because of a car accident.
andrew: yeah. your grammar sucks, by the way.
(i love these boys)
aaron is constantly on andrew’s ass about having a crush, which nicky finds hilarious
aaron: can i have neil’s number? i want to show him what it’d be like if you had real, human expressions
andrew: why do you pretend like you don’t already have it?
aaron: it’s always nice to ask
and this is all i got for now. sj will probably come in and clean this up later but i love shitposting and sj loves making sure my shitposting actually makes sense