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We were young
and in love,
and very angry.
And headstrong. And we fought a lot. 
And it was passionate.
And we forgave each other endlessly.
And it felt holy. 
I never wanted you when you
spoke to me with a resentful
mouth. But there’s a life in your
eyes I am living for. 
And I make you so angry, 
you will leave me. And sometimes
I hope you do. 
And I live for you, with a pain in my bones.
Like bad milk. I ache for you.
I romanticise your realism, but
there’s nothing romantic
about
the way you would like to
spend less time with me.
Bu we ate chocolate in bed,
and we kissed a lot,
and you asked me to
take my
sweatshirt off.
And you say sorry
and I cry.
And you will love me,
till I make you angry again.
—  I Am The Sweetest Violence by Royla Asghar 
Hand to Hand

A/N: Bucky is teaching you hand to hand combat when uh….things get interesting.

“Doll, keep your hands up. Parallel to each other like I’ve showed you.” I do as he commands and he gives a nod of approval. “Excellent, now I’m going to reach out and I want you to block my hit.”

“Okay.” I nod.

“On the count of three…one…”

His hand propels forward and I screamed out. “You said on the count of three not one.”

“Predict your opponent’s move.”

I reach out with a jab and he blocks it effortlessly, using that moment to tap me in my ribs. “You’re leaving your body unprotected.”

I sweep a hand in front of my stomach and he taps me on the neck. I grunt, propelling forward my punch landing on his rib, which was a mass of muscle. “Good girl.”

I smiled thinking of the only other time he calls me a good girl, which doesn’t involve clothing.

He taps me in the stomach again. “What the hell, that hurts.”

“Pay attention.”

“I am.” I say defensively as he blocked my punch. “Why do I need to do this?”

“You need to learn how to protect yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why when I have a deadly assassin for a boyfriend.”

He exhales deeply. “I’m no longer an assassin.” He replies tersely. “What if you find yourself in a situation when I’m off on a mission? What will you do then?”

He doesn’t give me any warning before he lunges forward and I stumbled backwards.

“I won’t need to learn hand to hand combat if I had a gun or a knife.”


“Is that so?”

I nod.


He reaches from behind revealing a sleek black knife with a serrated edge and intricate symbols on the blade. “Where the hell did that come from?” I asked looking puzzled.

“Doll, I have five weapons on my person as we speak.“He states, slipping the sheath in his pants pocket.

"Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Where?” I asked, My eyes darting to different parts of his body.

He ignores me. He holds the knife in his palm. “If you can grab this knife from my hand, not only will I give it to you, but I’ll teach you how to use it.”

I lunge forward, but his palm closes. “You’ll have to be faster than that.”

“You have an unfair advantage.”

We both look at his arm. “My arm? Are you serious?” I nod. “Fine.”

He puts his left arm behind his back then opens the palm of his right hand, dangling the knife skillfully in front of me. I take a step forward and the knife disappears out of sight. I used this moment to hit him in the chest.


“You’re leaving your body unprotected.” I teased.


The next actions happened so quickly, I don’t know if I should be impressed, frightened or turned on. He tosses the knife up in the air, sweeps my legs from beneath me in one swift movement, his left arm cradles my fall as we both hit the floor and in another split second he catches the knife without looking and stabs it into the space above my head.


“Your pupils are dilated.” He observes.


I wonder if he could hear my heart palpitations as my heart raced abnormally in my chest. The vibration of my pulse in my veins pounded loudly in my ears as I became aware of our bodies, mainly the throbbing pressed into my hip.


“Is that one of the five weapons you have on your person.” I say all breathy.

He bites his bottom lip and smirked, leaning his face next to my ear. “No, this weapon is not like the others.”


“How so?” I asked inhaling deeply, fully aware of the movements of my body and how with every inhalation his limbs sinks deeper into my own.


He paused, gazing intently at my parted lips sucking in air that was tinged with my lust and his sweat.


“This weapon is dangerous when provoked.” He threatens. His cerulean eyes becoming volcanic as I felt the explosion of heat radiating out of my apex and the noticeable growth and hardening of his throb.

“Bucky.” I breathed as his tongue grazed my bottom lip..


He pins my wrists above my hand that scrapes the serrated knife and presses his full weight on top of me as he spread my legs with his knee.

Stepping by to wish you all an amazing day, filled with art and happiness.
You guys are amazing and I cannot even find words to describe what your support means to me!
Thank you so much for 78,000 follows 🌞
I’m spending the weekend learning how to make my guitars sound like a shotgun which is great fun haha.
All the love,
Johanna

Someday I’ll be over you.
Someday I’ll find better.
Someday I’ll be in love with someone better.
Someday I won’t feel the void you left with me.
Someday the sun will set on my vivid memory of you.
Someday it will just be a laugh or a lesson.
Someday I’ll be done waiting.

Someday I’ll be over you.

how do i know these aren’t lies
— 

We are in love with lies. The pretty white ones, and the black ones, shinier than the moon on a lake. We are wooed by the details, the colour of the taxi, the name of the driver, just the little things we would never notice. We are content with the information presented, not wondering if we missed something far more important or crucial. We are captivated by the script, the flow of the story, every precise word and element of diction.

We are caught by the perfect pallet, and the brush strokes. The dance of glitter and each shade of brown. We can’t give up our masterpieces, not even for the muse itself.

It’s such a shame, how girls fall for boys and their running mouths, and boys fall for girls and their powdered masks. Can’t we just love?

-by

I dreamed I spoke in another’s language,
I dreamed I lived in another’s skin,
I dreamed I was my own beloved,
I dreamed I was a tiger’s kin.

I dreamed that Eden lived inside me,
And when I breathed a garden came,
I dreamed I knew all of Creation,
I dreamed I knew the Creator’s name.

I dreamed–and this dream was the finest–
That all I dreamed was real and true,
And we would live in joy forever,
You in me, and me in you.

—  Clive Barker, Days of Magic, Nights of War