¿humor

*Me at 15 talking to my friend about that guy who was bullying me* Me: “He’s weird, you know. His eyes are so blank and dead. Like, there is nothing there. I think he’s dangerous. And angry.” Her: “Has he done *anything* to you, like physically?” Me: “Well, no...” Her: “So calm down then.”

*eight years later I meet an old Art teacher on the train and we talk a bit*

*Teacher*  “I look up my students on FB sometimes.” 

*Me* “To see which ones ended up in jail?”

*she laughed*

*Teacher* “Funny you mentioned that. Gary’s in jail. He stabbed someone repeatedly in a pub brawl.”

*Me, gasping* “Oh my fucking God! I knew it!”

*everyone on the train turned around and stared*

That Student Of Mandarin Language Feel 

  • you understand all those words separately but not in that sentence
  • people asking you to “just say something in chinese, anything is fine!” 
  • people asking you what’s their name in mandarin and you have to explain that you have no idea and then they get angry
  • having to remember all 7642 meanings of 点
  • you can read whole texts but get panic attacks when someone asks you to write 
  • accidentally offending someone cuz u mispronounced the tone 
  • accidentally saying 不有 instead of 没有 and your teacher looking at you like you just cursed their entire family three 
  • having to explain that cantonese is a different language and that you do not, in fact, speak it
  • seeing a character with double/triple pronunciation and feeling like stabbing yourself 
  • people asking you to translate other people’s badly done hanzi tattoos