when you writing a story and you realise you’ve set in 1986 and you have to go back and fact check every single detail. did that road exist? did that university exist? was ac a thing? what names were the top ones 20 years earlier? had the songs on the radio been released? was gay marriage legal?
Yeah, but guys, can you imagine Remus Lupin going on a premiere of Les Mis in London (1985) because he loved the book and decided to finally go out and have a bit of fun and then hearing “Empty chairs at empty tables”? Because I just did and I am not okay.
“Oh my friends, my friends forgive me That I live and you are gone.”
are in three classes that use bernoulli’s equation. none of the
equations are the same. your teachers do not know who bernoulli is. did
bernoulli even exist?
there is a problem set. it is not on the
syllabus. the first question is a blank page. you look through the
whole set. it is all blank, except for the last page. you think it says
“run”. you do not know. it is not written in binary.
an ethics class. you are not sure why you are here. you do not need
ethics. you have never needed ethics. “it’s a joke class,” whispers an
upperclassman. you do not understand why it is funny.
abet. the name echoes through the halls of the mechanical engineering building. no one knows what it means.
are studying the tacoma narrows bridge for the fifth time. your
differential equations professor tells you it is not an example of
resonance. your engineering professor tells you it is. you are not sure
who to trust.
there are six bernoullis. only four of them are related. they all look the same.
environmental science majors have to take a class to learn excel. you
do not understand. you have always known excel, haven’t you? you do not
remember learning it.
you solve a triple integral and stop, confused. it has become a ricotti equation. you have forgotten ohm’s law.
has done everything. there is a portrait of euler in the english
building. when you look into its eyes, something disturbs you on a
professor cancels class. you suspect a trick. when you arrive to the
classroom, your entire class is there, watching the empty space where
the professor should be. no one speaks. no one leaves.
the problem set is optional. the problem set is not optional. the problem set is about schrodinger’s law.
three different people have explained mechatronics to you. nobody knows what it is.
friend says they have essays to write. essays? you cannot remember what
a word document looks like. you have not written a paragraph in two
years. words are abstract concepts without meaning.
“you’re an engineer?” someone asks. “you must be smart.” you begin to laugh. you have them all fooled. you cannot stop laughing.
one is sure what systems engineering is. the lights in the systems
building are always on. you have never seen someone come out.
professors all do research. there are bloodstains on their lecture
notes. you do not ask what they research. the last person to ask
vanished at the start of the semester. your computer science professor hasn’t stopped smiling since.
when you attend career fairs,
you are surrounded by students you have never seen and companies you
have never heard of. “we’re an innovative start-up,” someone says.
“we’re an innovative start-up,” you hear echoed down the hall three
weeks later. the words have not stopped. you cannot sleep. you are an
I’m not better, okay? I’m not better! And I keep waiting for someone to figure that out, and - they don’t! I mean, of course they don’t. ‘Cause as long as I say the right things and I act the right way, they’re happy because that means they cured me, right?