I love that Steven is the hardest pill to swallow for Connie’s mom.
And Connie needs this. She needs her family to support her through all the shit she’s been going through. Because as good a friend as Steven is, sometimes you just need your family.
Okay I need to talk about this.
I feel annoyed with this, but it’s not the episode’s fault in any way whatsoever. It was a good episode, it resolved Connie’s issues with her mother very well and while it was a bit too quick that’s not that bothers me. What annoys me comes from my end, because I wish this happened to me.
I said before that this was hitting too close to home for me. That’s because I’ve been in Connie’s position (altough not as extreme) when it comes to my dad. My parents are divorced, they have been since I was 5 and thank fucking Christ I’ve always lived with my mother instead of him. He’s not… technically a bad person, he’s not an abusive father or anything, it’s just that we literally couldn’t be more different.
My mother is wonderful and I love her and we’ve always gotten along because we have a lot in common. She’s always been very supportive and let me pursue my interests. My dad on the other hand always made it clear that he wanted me to be like him, a real man or whatever the fuck that means. He’s loud, quick to anger, extremely extroverted and very bigoted. But he’s also always treated like a son. He truly, really loves me and wants me to be around. And I do visit him once every month at his house and spend a couple days there, but it still doesn’t feel like home. He always tells me how my mom raised us wrong and how I should go do this and that and start playing soccer or whatever because that’s what men do. He also constantly berates my sister for not having good grades and tells me that if she lived with him she would get 10s in her scool always (even though my sister DID live three years with him and nothing changed in that regard).
He just… couldn’t accept that we were different people than him. And my entire life has been me wanting to make amends with him the way Connie did with his mother, to make him understand that we are different. But that never happens and I just keep getting caught up in a vicious circle of wanting to be around him to make him understand and wanting to be away from him and then feeling guilty in the process.
And now he has a real son, one with my step-mother and who he will be able to raise for real, and just being around that kid makes me depressed. And I feel like shit afterwards for not wanting to be around him and see how he is raised in a family of bigots. And then I end up hating myself and everything around me because family is tricky and you can’t solve that within 11 minutes like what happened here.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m jealous of Connie, and I wish sometimes things worked out this way in real life.
Oh wow what a fucking depressing note to end that in.
Of course Steven is hugging his mother’s sword because it’s the only thing she left him.