Blogger Bunmi Laditan sent her 10-year-old’s school a clear message.
“Hello Maya’s teachers,
Maya will be drastically reducing the amount of homework she does this year. She’s been very stressed and is starting to have physical symptoms such as chest pain and waking up at 4 a.m. worrying about her school workload.
She’s not behind academically and very much enjoys school. We consulted with a tutor and a therapist suggested we lighten her workload. Doing 2-3 hours of homework after getting home at 4:30 is leaving little time for her to just be a child and enjoy family time and we’d like to avoid her sinking into a depression over this.”
“I don’t think I could handle having a mentally ill child” “I don’t think I can handle having a physically handicapped child” “I don’t think I could handle having a trans child” “I don’t think I could handle having a gay child” “I don’t think I could han-”
Moon: how you nurture, how you show affection, how you offer comfort & care, how you tend to needs; how you cope with anger or frustration, how you express those emotions, how you express love; your perception of what your child needs based on your memory of your own childhood, how you apply your experience of life to your child, how you take what you learned from the parent that nurtured you and use it in raising your own child; how you make your child feel safe and loved; how you navigate pregnancy/motherhood
(if you’re a woman) and your perception of / attitude toward those things; how parenthood affects you.
Mercury: how you speak to your child, how you teach your child to speak, how you listen to your child; how you teach your child in general, the attitude and approach you take to teaching; the way you share information with your child.
Venus: what you dress your child in, how you style their hair; how you decorate their bedroom; what you buy for them, especially the toys & clothing; how you handle their self-esteem; what social values you instill in them, what manners you teach them, how you socialize them, what you teach them about their presentation and their appearance; how you express love and affection.
Jupiter: your philosophies/beliefs about parenthood, your knowledge surrounding parenthood, your parenting values; how you impart your personal wisdom to your child, how you mentor them, the morality & philosophies you teach them, the truths & deeper meanings you teach them; what you learn through parenthood, how the experience of parenting a child enlightens you; how you encourage & impassion your child, how you engender a lust for life within them; how you enrich their life or how they enrich yours.
Saturn: how you scold/punish your child, how you handle their mistakes & flaws, what privileges you give them, what you teach them about their privileges; how you discipline your child, how you engender self-discipline within your child; how you influence their self-worth and work ethic, what you teach them about work, how you prepare them for jobs / the future / society; what practical skills you teach them, how you encourage (or force) them to be productive; the structure you build in their lives, the foundation & stability you create for them; how/if you introduce them to the harshness of the world,
how you raise them to be a member of society, the life lessons you prepare them for; your fears about your child, your fears about parenting, the mistakes you make as a parent, the mistakes you’re afraid of your child making, how strict you are as a parent.
Ceres: what you feed your child, how you satisfy their physical needs, how you nurture & care for them physically; how you nurture your child in general, what compassion and sensitivity you offer, your selflessness or lack thereof, what you are willing to give, your unconditional love; your relationship to the organic and biological side of being a parent; how you make your child feel secure.
Vesta: how family fits into your destiny and/or highest potential, how you channel your individual essence into the well-being of your family; your devotion to your family & children; how you “keep” / take care of your home, the things that belong to you, and the people (and animals) you’re responsible for.
2nd House: the environment you raise your child in, how you accommodate them materially, how you take care of them physically, how you treat/spoil them; the fundamental & personal values you teach your child, the principles by which you teach/raise your child, what you teach is be important in life, how you influence their personality and life path, what you teach is essential for happiness; how you set them up for the future practically/materially.
5th House: your attitude toward procreation; your relationship with your child overall, how you connect to them as a parent / their creator; the media you surround your child with (music you play, shows you let them watch, etc); how you play with your child, the sweet & joyful side of parenting, the fulfillment you draw from raising your child; how you bring art into your child’s life; what you teach your child about love/sex & relationships; how you allow your child to enjoy life (especially in their teenage years), the freedom you give them in their teenage years; the essence of your love for your child.
6th House: your relationship with your child overall, how much you’re able to give, how you behave as a caretaker in general; your devotion to your child’s well-being, your concern with their health; your everyday home routine; how you tend to the physical needs of your child, what you feed them, how you keep them active & healthy; how you approach sickness in your child, how you prevent illness/injury, how you heal your child, how you cope with an ill/injured or disabled child, how you cope with a child that consumes all your time & energy; your unconditional love and how you show it through care/service/healing.
Imum Coeli: the home you make, both materially and emotionally; the safety, structure, and stability you provide; how you handle your child’s psychology & the influence you have on it; how you nurture your child emotionally, your relationship with them as someone who protects & cares for them, how you defend your child from the outside world & the public, how you treat your child in private; how you treat your child at night & how you handle their sleep schedule; how you handle their secrets and their deepest psychological needs, how you handle their emotions and their pain, how you care for their development.
Medium Coeli: your vision for your child, what you hope they will become, how you influence their destiny/purpose/potential; how you build their self-esteem & self-worth, how you encourage their dreams, how you help them achieve their dreams, how you support them in their career, how you instill the discipline to work toward their own dreams; your authority in their life, the impact you have on who they become, how they find the meaning in what you taught them & apply it to the rest of their lives, how their identity/ego absorbs your parenting style.
(The IC-MC axis also rules how your childhood and experience of parenting from a child’s perspective influences your parenthood; your parents, the way you lived and what you learned as a child is re-purposed as you raise your own child. You become what you learned from your parents, positively or negatively, in your own unique way. The mistakes you make and the things you do well as a parent come from your understanding of your own parents’ mistakes/skills.)
Do I love my baby? Of course. Would I do anything for my baby? Without question. Do I wish my baby would stop whispering, ‘this small fleshy prison cannot contain me for long’ and floating upside down three feet from the ceiling every night at exactly 3:42 a.m. while inky black goo oozes from the walls? Yes. But it doesn’t make me a bad mother for feeling that way.