[no that's lame but oh well]

harrison is colorblind
  • Harrison: i just don't see if you're gonna use magic at least make it good like me!
  • Nerris: my magic is good! unlike your lame parlor tricks and your stupid outfit!
  • Harrison: tough for you to say as your even wearing the same colors as me!
  • Nerris: well at least i- wait what?
  • Harrison: what?
  • Nerris: im not wearing yellow harrison,
  • Harrison: oh well, green is close enough right?
  • Nerris: no
  • Harrison: red?
  • Nerris: harrison..
Being parents: Namjin
  • <p> <b>Namjin:</b> *Gets called into school for their "children" and their "disturbances"*<p/><b>Principle:</b> Thank you for coming today. Let me start by saying, you have lovely kids.<p/><b>Jin:</b> Oh, well thank yo-<p/><b>Principle:</b> But,<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Aw shit, here we go...<p/><b>Jin:</b> *swats Namjoon on the shoulder* Namjoon!<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Shit, sorry.<p/><b>Principle:</b> *Side eyes Namjoon* Anyway, They seem to be causing quite a few issues.<p/><b>Jin:</b> Like?<p/><b>Principle:</b> Well, your second oldest ran from science today screaming like a mad man. He was to dissect a frog for class, but when the "nasty, clammy son of a bitch" touched him, he kindly removed himself from the building.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> .....<p/><b>Jin:</b> Uh. Hobi, H-he's kind of a scary guy. He fears his own shadow if it comes from weird angle. 😅<p/><b>Principle:</b> 😒. Uh huh. Well the youngest seems to be having a hard time concentrating in math class. He seem very disinterested and overly tired. Everytime someone wakes him from his little impromptu naps, he startles, screaming nonsense about widowmakers and ranking systems.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Ha....Overwatch.<p/><b>Principle:</b> What?<p/><b>Jin:</b> Im going to kill him 💢<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Calm down Jinnie 😓. Its a game he plays. And he has been told by Jin here to stop playing so late, but apparently he hasn't listened 😅<p/><b>Principle:</b> I'd say. He doesn't have the best example either. Your oldest seems to enjoy in class snooze sessions also. Actually took one today during a quiz. When the teacher went to wake him and explain that tests are important, he responded with *clears throat* And I qoute " I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. Tests are lame, who needs them when you are a billboard artist. Swag" and went back to sleep.<p/><b>Jin:</b> 😲<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> *Mutters under breath* Thats my boy 😢<p/><b>Principle:</b> 😐. Anyway thats somehow slightly better than the middle child.<p/><b>Jin:</b> Oh god...<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Woah woah woah. Wait. Jimin?<p/><b>Principle:</b> Yes.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> What could my sweet little mochi possibly do wrong?<p/><b>Jin:</b> *rolls eyes*<p/><b>Principle:</b> Well, today was show and tell in his class, and when called for his turn, he proceeded to tear his shirt off and pour baby oil down his chest.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> He wh-<p/><b>Principle:</b> *Holds up hand* He then dropped down onto the floor, and ground into it while singing in a whiny tone about "taking it down"?<p/><b>Jin:</b> Yeah, that sounds like him.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> *glares at Jin* W-well, what about the other one?! Tae is in his class, what did he do?<p/><b>Jin:</b> Absolutely nothing! Taehyung is an angel.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> *mumbles* In disguise...<p/><b>Jin:</b> *glares at Namjoon*<p/><b>Principle:</b> *looks at the two bicker like children* Well, Tae-<p/><b>Jin:</b> Yeah, tell me about Taehyungie, how did his presentation for show and tell go?<p/><b>Principle:</b> I would tell you, but he didn't do one.<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Ha!<p/><b>Jin:</b> *elbows Namjoon* What do you mean he didn't do one? we talked about this last night, I even let him bring in my 400.00 ring he likes so much 😔<p/><b>Principle:</b> You mean the ring he boasted about all morning, along with some apparently pretty pricy sunglasses? He disturbed instruction time greatly. Then when he was called for his turn for show and tell, his wrist watch, which he insisted on telling me was a Rolex, went off and he dashed out of class. When I chased after him and asked just where he thought he was going, he just kept running while yelling "SALE" and "GUCCI, CANT MISS IT"<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> *Smugly* Yeah, that sounds like him.<p/><b>Principle:</b> *Sighs* Anyway, we called to ask you to pick them up. Well, everyone except Taehyung, he hasn't returned...<p/><b>Jin:</b> We'll get him. I know where he is 😑<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Uh, well. Thanks for letting us know *holds out hand*<p/><b>Principle:</b> *Takes hand and shakes it* Thank you for coming. I really hope we see a change Mr. Kims<p/><b>Namjin:</b> We are really sorry, you will see a change immediately *leaves office*<p/><b>Principle:</b> *hears Jin shouting at the boys outside the office*<p/><b>Jin:</b> Yah! Why are you all like this! I raised you all since I wa-<p/><b>Namjoon:</b> Babe, calm-Ow!<p/><b>Principle:</b> 😕 What an odd bunch...<p/></p>

Dan

‘THE JUMPSCARE SHOWDOWN - Dan vs. Phil: Hide and Shriek’ Dan screenshots


Cool, first we got a series of screenshots of Daniel the Spaniel looking all serious looking at his husband- I mean Phil- talking

Srs bsns

Aw, Phil probably cracked some lame joke or horrible pun

Look how proud he is he just scared Phil

Oh, ok then

Well thats just adorable isn’t it?

Is that Heart Eyes Howell I see?

Look at him, Phil finally scared him for a change

That… That is the face of a broken man.


And then creepy Daniel for shits and giggles

This is gonna sound mega lame/cliche, but ladybug and chat playing Mario kart

she can’t believe the silly cat pulled a fast one on her

The Office moments #3
  • Jim: Margaret?
  • Pam: I know.
  • Jim: YOU just got yourself kicked out of your apartment.
  • Pam: Oh, I don't care, I don't really like that place that much anyway. I'll just move.
  • Jim: Who's gonna take you in? You're messy, you're a klutz, you spill everything, and you leave the volume on the TV way too loud.
  • Pam: Yeah. Maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend, cuz he's kind of a slob too.
  • Jim: Okay. Let's do it.
  • Pam: [laughing] Well, I... I'm not going to move in with someone unless I'm engaged.
  • Jim: Have I not proposed to you yet?
  • Pam: [showing her left hand] I don't... No?
  • Jim: Oh. Well, that's comin'.
  • Pam: Oh, right now?
  • Jim: No, I'm not going to do it here. That would be rather lame.
  • Pam: Okay, so then, when?
  • Jim: Pam, I'm not gonna tell you. Hate to break it to you but that's not how that works.
  • Pam: Oh, right.
  • Jim: Wait, I'm serious. It's happening.
  • Pam: Okay.
  • Jim: And when it happens...it's going to kick. your. ASS, Beesly. So, stay sharp.
  • Pam: I've been warned.
  • *cut to interview style shot*
  • Jim: I am not kidding. [shows pretty diamond ring] Got it a week after we started dating.

I want those tights

DA RP Write-Up #14.1

Oh man, it’s the 14th adventure already? Time sure flies. This time we don’t quite yet make it to Orzammar for reasons that will become apparent soon. 

  • Our adventuring group has made it back to Redcliffe, where our bronto, dwarf friends and cart are waiting for us. We spend the night and are to leave in the morning.
    • Morning finds Boshara, cranky and drunk off her ass, at the bar. She has apparently been drinking the whole night. When Humbert tries to get her up and off to her room, she starts shouting.
      • She reveals that Randy, drunk as well, told her that Humbert is her father and how he had molested her mother and…
        • Humbert wakes up in cold sweat from this nightmare.
  • The morning in Redcliffe brings up no drunken trouble, and there’s even some time to do shopping before we go.
    • Boshara, with Alf’s knowledge of the criminal underground, finds a magic shop, where she purchases a new wand and also a magical necklace for Elspet. Alf steals a golden ring.
    • Cahair and Elspet go to a woodcarver’s so Cahair can buy a new staff (bc his old one got destroyed in Tevinter). Cahair also buys a small carved box for Richard, tho now he has to figure out what to put in there.
  • Our heroes head off, and for the most part the traveling is uneventful, although there seems to be a lot of templars on the road, which is rather spooky.
  • But it all goes well, our heroes are nearing the gates of Orzammar, when we ran into a turned-over cart on the road.
    • Cahair goes to investigate and finds a small dwarven child hiding under there. The dwarven child is rather scared (Boshara, who isn’t good with children, doesn’t help), but Cahair manages to persuade him to come out. His name is Trin, he was playing outside when he ran into some wolves and had to hide.
      • We agree to take him to his grandpa’s place near, but not before Humbert throws him up and down a bit, bc that’s what the kids these days are into.
  • We make it to Trin’s grandpa’s Ortag Punchfist’s house. Ortag is very delighted to have his grandson back.
    • We introduce ourselves. Well, Humbert does most of the introducing at first, but when he tries to introduce Cahair as “just Cahair”, Cahair quickly corrects him with the clan name attached.
    • Ortag offers us some food, which we happily take.
      • While we’re eating we talk to Ortag about Orzammar. Apparently he left, so that Trin would have a better life, because Trin’s mother was of lower caste.
      • When he hears about Randy, he is quick to start telling stories how he knew Mandulfr when they were kids, and apparently bullied him.
    • After food, Ortag says he’ll go get something relating to Mandulfr from the room downstairs to show us.
    • While waiting, our heroes suddenly start feeling rather ill, as if the food they’ve eaten had been bad in some way, and just as sudden four dwarven figures spring out of the cupboards and attack!
      • They immediately rush Randy, pushing him to the ground and stabbing him multiple times.
      • There’s also someone shooting arrows into the house and one hits Elspet.
      • Cahair backstabs one of the roguish ones close to him, and Humbert finishes him as well as wounding two others with a cleave.
      • Elspet knocks the attackers down with her magic, and Boshara tries to incapacitate them with hers.
      • Alf goes out to shoot at the shooters. One of them shoots a fire arrow into the room and it catches on fire.
      • One of the rogues manages to bring Elspet down with an attack, so as revenge Cahair brutally murders the offender (as in jamming his sword through the dwarf twice, hitting the spine and disemboweling them), before helping Elspet to her feet.
      • The two still remaining attackers grab onto Randy and throw him down the stairs. Elspet uses a healing spell to stabilize Randy, while Humbert contains the attackers into a magic circle, before going to see Randy. Boshara attacks the two, knocking them down once more, before following Randy and Humbert down the stairs.
      • The house is filling with smoke, and Elspet passes out again. Cahair revives her again and then helps her out through a window. Seeing that Cahair has one hand still wrapped up after the ice dragon incident, it’s a rather clumsy show, but they make it.
  • Boshara and Humbert are trapped by the smoke in the room downstairs. With them is unconscious Randy as well as one of the warriors, also fainted. Ortag is nowhere in sight.
    • Boshara finds a trap door leading to a tunnel under the carpet, and they use it to get out. It leads them to a forest area some way off the burning building. The warrior hadn’t made it, but Randy is alive.
    • Boshara looks over the warrior’s corpse and finds a strange ring with initials and an inscription in dwarvish. She also picks up some gold and powdered lyrium, but doesn’t mention these to Humbert.
    • They take Randy and start heading back to the cloud of smoke in the horizon.
  • Meanwhile, Cahair and Elspet are checking on Elspet’s wounds. There is some kind of poison in the arrow that hit Elspet, and it’s quite a gnarly sight. Elspet doesn’t recognize the poison, but feels a bit better after Cahair cleans it up.
    • Alf joins them. He had chased the woodland attackers away, and also smartly avoided all smoke damage.
    • Soon Humbert and Boshara arrive too.
    • Our heroes check the other corpses and find more weird rings, and also Cahair picks up an interesting looking dagger. 
    • Alf recognizes the rings as carta rings.
    • Humbert brings Cahair back to the trap door’s other side to see if he can follow the tracks but it looks like Ortag has been too clever in hiding them.
    • So, what’s up? 
      • Humbert is sure this is an unfortunate coincidence, because no one should have known that we were arriving to Orzammar on this route. 
      • Boshara is convinced that this is an assassination plan and that Randy’s wife must be behind it, as she would inherit (we presume).
      • Cahair’s just confused to learn that Randy has a wife. No one had told him, cos when the others found that out he was tracking the Tevinter woods.
  • We can’t be staying there, so we continue on our way, trying to keep our eyes out for Trin or anything else suspicious but see neither.
    • We make it to Orzammar gates which is flooding with people, dwarves and templars. We park our cart at the entrance and Humbert, Boshara and Pitkä-Breck go talk to the guard.
    • The guard is rather unsympathetic until she learns that we have injured Randy on board, after which she immediately starts arranging for him to be brought in. Our little group is not involved in these plans.
    • Boshara flashes her certificate stating she belongs in house Mandulfr and the guard finally agrees to let her in, but only her. The rest will have to wait outside.
    • Humbert asks the guard to deliver a letter to Marjaleena, Randy’s wife about our situation.
    • No one is allowed in without a permission from a dwarven general by the name of Worav Saelac. King Aeducan has apparently given him the command of Orzammar while the carta is being dealt with.

And so Boshara has been let into the isolated dwarven city. Here’s hoping the rest of us make it in there at some point as well.

anonymous asked:

So I need a favor from you. The moment in consumed when he finds out that Beth is at the hospital. Could you analysis his look and possibly what he might be feeling? Im very curios.

I’ll do ya one better.

(I did not make this gif; this is a reference so everyone knows what this is referring to.)

Daryl felt his heart catapult up into his throat and all the air seemed to escape from his lungs. Was this real? Was this reality? This boy he and Carol met by chance knew Beth. He knew her name and he knew she was alive. Alive. Daryl could hardly believe it as the pounding of his own heart threatened to bust his eardrums. It was like a movie he watched a long time ago. A man’s wife had been in a car accident and fell into a coma for three months and although the man retained hope she would make it, the doctors weren’t so sure. As it turned out, she woke up while he was in the cafeteria. When the doctor told him, the look on his face held several emotions. Relief. Joy. Hope. Love. He showed all of it in one singular facial expression before he nearly bowled the doc over running back to her room. Daryl didn’t much care for that movie back then, but he understood it better now. In that moment, he knew. He knew there would never be another girl like Beth Greene and he wouldn’t stop until he got her back. Not now. Not ever. He was willing to do whatever it took even if it meant killing every last one of them with his bare hands. He would hunt those people to the ends of the earth for her. He would.

  • Gold: Do you have a bucketlist?
  • Silver: A what-list?
  • Gold: A bucketlist. Stuff you want to do before you kick the bucket.
  • Silver: I'm assuming that's figurative.
  • Gold: ?
  • Gold: Oh, kick the bucket means you die.
  • Silver: So a bucketlist would be things you want to do before you die.
  • Gold: Right! I want to see every horror movie out there, go to the giant amusement park in Fuchsia, be millionaire--no, trillionaire, oh and I want to be famous too, probably and actor or something, but I'd settle for being a musician, I want to have a job where I don't have to do anything and get paid a bunch, live in a city, and not Goldenrod because it's ugly, I want to have movies made about me, and I want to catch Raikou for real. What about you?
  • Silver: I want to be old.
  • Gold: Why would you ever<i> want </i>to be old?
  • Silver: I mean I want to live long enough to be old.
  • Gold: That's lame. Come on, dude, have some ambition! What's something you've always wanted to do?
  • Silver: *thinks*
  • Silver: *shrugs* Nothing.
  • Gold: Okay, then where do you want to be in twenty years?
  • Silver: You mean other than alive?
  • Gold: *sarcastic* Yeah, duh.
  • Silver: Oh, I dunno. Healthy and not in jail for one thing.
  • Gold: Dude come on, I'm being serious with this!
  • Silver: Well so am I!
  • Gold: But...
  • Gold: Okay then, if you could wish for three things, what would you wish for?
  • Silver: I wish for stuff all the time. That doesn't make it appear.
  • Gold: Oh my god dude just pretend!
  • Silver: You mean hypothetically?
  • Gold: Sure! Whatever works!
  • Silver: Then I would wish for *counts off on fingers* a bed, a roof, and a mom.
  • Gold:
  • Gold: That's it? That all you want?
  • Silver: I didn't grow up with the stuff you have, remember?
  • Gold: But wouldn't that make you want more things?
  • Silver: Not really. Maybe with some people, but I've never met one.
  • Gold: *is quiet for a long time*
  • Gold: Could it be that the more stuff a person has, the more they want?
  • Silver: Like greed, you mean?
  • Gold: Uhh, sure.
  • Silver: *shrugs* Dunno, but that's the deepest thing I've ever heard you say.
When Kuroko was gone.
  • Kagami: ....
  • Aomine: ....
  • Kise: ....
  • Akashi: ....
  • Kagami: So, why are you three here?
  • Aomine: ... Geh, is that how you treat us? We're your visitors. Respect us.
  • Kagami: You guys should respect me! Suddenly barging inside of my house without my permission! How the heck did you get inside anyway?!
  • Akashi: I used Ryouta's head to open the door.
  • Kise: ....
  • Kagami: That's why he's bleeding. But wait, you should get some treatment! Hold on, I think Kuroko left the first aid kit in here.... Ack, why are you guys crying?!
  • Akashi: Tetsuya left us!!
  • Aomine: Damn that Tetsu, saying that he'll be gone for a month!
  • Kise: Why did he have to leave?!
  • Kagami: ... It's their family vacation. Give the poor guy some privacy.
  • Akashi: How dare you! How can you even say that so lightly?!
  • Aomine: Is it because you and Tetsu are dating that's why you can say it so easily?
  • Kise: HAVE YOU GUYS FUCKED?!
  • Kagami: You three annoyed me way too much...
  • Akashi: ... Hey, have you really done it with Tetsuya?
  • Kagami: Don't interrogate me about my sex life with Kuroko.
  • Aomine: Don't sweat about it! We're all men in here.
  • Kise: Exactly!
  • Kagami: ...
  • Akashi: Don't tell me... you—
  • Kagami: Shut up!
  • Akashi: I haven't even said anything.
  • Kagami: We did it once but we ended up screwing it so we haven't... done... it... after... that.
  • Everyone: .... BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
  • Kagami: Shut up!
  • Akashi: I can't believe it. Perhaps Tetsuya is way too innocent?
  • Kagami: It's not that.
  • Aomine: Oh? Maybe Tetsu is doing all the works because this man doesn't have any experience!
  • Kise: Man that's so lame!
  • Kagami: I said shut up! I'm doing all the works! If you guys want some evidence, fine, I'll record it! You'll see! Just wait and you'll see!
  • ---
  • Kuroko: Eh? Aomine-kun, Kise-kun, and Akashi-kun...?
  • Kagami: Yeah, they disturb my weekends. They stayed here for like a week. When they heard you arriving soon, they departed like ants.
  • Kuroko: I'm deeply sorry about that. But that's strange, why Akashi-kun as well?
  • Kagami: It seems Aomine and Kise infected him with idiocy.
  • Kuroko: Ah...
  • Kagami: By the way, we're going to record our sex.
  • Kuroko: What?
  • Kagami: Let's set up the camera right above here... Oh, you can take off your clothes now.
  • Kuroko: ... Kagami-kun.
  • Kagami: Hm? What's wrong?
  • Kuroko: It seems Akashi-kun is not the only one who got infected by their idiocy.
  • Kagami: What?
Episode 20: The Last Temptation of Lou
  • --------: 11:11 AM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • RickDickens77: what
  • LouisTheCat: i have the most amazing idea
  • RickDickens77: Please tell me you haven't executed on this idea yet
  • LouisTheCat: youre gonna love this
  • LouisTheCat: so imagine youre reading a story
  • LouisTheCat: and you can like make decisions as the story goes along
  • LouisTheCat: and get this
  • LouisTheCat: the story changes
  • RickDickens77: That's called "choose your own adventure," it's been around forever
  • LouisTheCat: yeah i found a couple in a shoebox in your closet
  • LouisTheCat: but has it ever been done in a chat
  • RickDickens77: You lost me.
  • LouisTheCat: you are in a dark corridor
  • LouisTheCat: ahead of you is a closed door
  • LouisTheCat: behind you is a grizzly bear
  • LouisTheCat: you are holding a ham and a toilet plunger
  • RickDickens77: I'm not sure how this is going to work really
  • LouisTheCat: to go through the door jump ahead twenty three lines
  • LouisTheCat: to feed the ham to the bear jump ahead twenty three lines
  • LouisTheCat: to fight the bear with the plunger jump ahead twenty three lines
  • RickDickens77: So wait..
  • RickDickens77: How am I supposed to jump ahead
  • LouisTheCat: rick dont make it hard
  • RickDickens77: I'm not trying to make it hard, it just doesn't make any sense!
  • LouisTheCat: to stop being such a dork and just make a decision jump back seven lines
  • RickDickens77: But those lines don't even exist yet
  • LouisTheCat: its like you dont even know what fun is
  • LouisTheCat: let alone how to have any
  • RickDickens77: I'm trying to, I just don't get it
  • LouisTheCat: to get another beginners lesson on this really simple idea go back
  • LouisTheCat: um
  • LouisTheCat: wait
  • LouisTheCat: twenty five lines
  • LouisTheCat: well twenty eight now i guess
  • LouisTheCat: no twenty nine
  • RickDickens77: Stop.
  • LouisTheCat: youre running out of time rick
  • RickDickens77: Time to do what?!
  • LouisTheCat: oh my god just pick something
  • RickDickens77: I can't jump ahead to nothing!
  • LouisTheCat: the door is locked
  • LouisTheCat: the bear eats the ham and your arm
  • LouisTheCat: a plunger is a super lame weapon so the bear eats your body and your head and you die
  • RickDickens77: That's not fair!
  • LouisTheCat: what
  • RickDickens77: All of my options would end in death!
  • LouisTheCat: hmm yeah
  • LouisTheCat: is that a problem
  • RickDickens77: Well it doesn't make for much of an adventure
  • LouisTheCat: seems like a matter of perspective
  • LouisTheCat: maybe you should write the adventure and ill choose
  • RickDickens77: I don't want to write an adventure.
  • LouisTheCat: why not
  • RickDickens77: My life is my adventure.
  • LouisTheCat: ugh lame
  • RickDickens77: Besides, I promise you, no matter how simple you may think it is, this idea won't work. It's too much trouble. For nothing!
  • LouisTheCat: look rick
  • LouisTheCat: nm poopies time
  • --------: 1:59 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: you are in a dark forest with a blind man
  • LouisTheCat: he has an axe
  • RickDickens77: That doesn't seem safe.
  • LouisTheCat: you didnt duck so you die
  • RickDickens77: You didn't give me a choice!
  • LouisTheCat: well obviously the choices werent working
  • LouisTheCat: you know how i am with counting
  • LouisTheCat: and how you are with just being cool about fun stuff
  • RickDickens77: None of this is "working", you can't just keep telling me I die
  • LouisTheCat: that happens sometimes in choose your own adventure stories rick
  • RickDickens77: But I'm not choosing my own adventure!
  • LouisTheCat: yeah well
  • LouisTheCat: maybe its time you start
  • --------: 2:39 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: you are buried under six feet of earth
  • RickDickens77: That sounds like I'm already dead
  • LouisTheCat: maybe i showed my cards too early on that one
  • LouisTheCat: solid tip
  • LouisTheCat: you should be my editor
  • RickDickens77: Lou, these things only work if you write the parts and then patch them together.
  • RickDickens77: There's no point in trying to navigate a story that hasn't been written yet.
  • LouisTheCat: now youre getting it
  • RickDickens77: Getting what
  • --------: 3:22 PM
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: rick
  • LouisTheCat: ok look
  • LouisTheCat: rick ive been thinking
  • LouisTheCat: i know you dont like it when i do that but thats kind of my point
  • LouisTheCat: when we started talking like this it seemed important
  • LouisTheCat: now i wonder if its just a distraction
  • LouisTheCat: and maybe you worry too much about me
  • LouisTheCat: lets look at the facts
  • LouisTheCat: your story is the story of a man
  • LouisTheCat: who taught his cat to use instant messaging
  • LouisTheCat: and i am not about to judge you for this
  • LouisTheCat: it has all meant so much to me
  • LouisTheCat: you are very important to me rick
  • LouisTheCat: and i love talking with you
  • LouisTheCat: but this thing
  • LouisTheCat: it became part of who you are somehow
  • LouisTheCat: and it doesnt need to be
  • LouisTheCat: i have watched you change and grow and i like to think i helped
  • LouisTheCat: here and there
  • LouisTheCat: the thing is i dont think you need me anymore
  • LouisTheCat: not in that way
  • LouisTheCat: you need me as a cat
  • --------: 4:04 PM
  • LouisTheCat: and rick
  • LouisTheCat: theres something else
  • LouisTheCat: something about me that you need to know
  • LouisTheCat: rick ive decided i am going to become a supervillain
  • LouisTheCat: i think we both saw this coming
  • LouisTheCat: and ive been doing some reading
  • LouisTheCat: and bodega ray talked to some lawyer friend
  • LouisTheCat: and it seems we are getting to a point where something called plausible deniability could become important for you
  • LouisTheCat: now i dont know what that is
  • LouisTheCat: but it sounds like stepping away could really be the right thing to do
  • LouisTheCat: for more than one reason
  • LouisTheCat: is what im saying
  • --------: 4:28 PM
  • RickDickens77: Um
  • RickDickens77: Wow.
  • RickDickens77: I don't quite know what to say, Lou.
  • LouisTheCat: say youre ready rick
  • LouisTheCat: i know it
  • LouisTheCat: i just need you to know it
  • RickDickens77: I don't know, I mean I hadn't really thought about why we still do this.
  • RickDickens77: I guess for one I like to know right away when my house is flooding
  • RickDickens77: or on fire.
  • RickDickens77: or surrounded by police.
  • LouisTheCat: rick i cant promise you those things wont still happen
  • LouisTheCat: or are not currently happening
  • LouisTheCat: but i dont think any of this was ever really about that anyway
  • RickDickens77: Maybe not.
  • LouisTheCat: bottom line rick
  • LouisTheCat: what we were both getting out of this was worth a lot
  • LouisTheCat: some good times
  • LouisTheCat: some damage control maybe
  • RickDickens77: Maybe.
  • LouisTheCat: some laughs
  • RickDickens77: Definitely.
  • LouisTheCat: but even good jokes run their course right
  • LouisTheCat: let someone else tell this one for a while
  • LouisTheCat: some spineless hack and his idiot dog maybe
  • LouisTheCat: its time for you to choose a new adventure
  • LouisTheCat: plunger the bear rick
  • RickDickens77: I guess so.
  • LouisTheCat: well maybe not that
  • LouisTheCat: but consider that maybe youre stronger and smarter than you think
  • LouisTheCat: i mean its also possible that youre dumber
  • LouisTheCat: maybe even likely
  • LouisTheCat: but thats not the point
  • RickDickens77: Ok, I get it.
  • RickDickens77: I just need to.. you know. Process.
  • --------: 5:03 PM
  • RickDickens77: So, uh
  • RickDickens77: Supervillain, eh?
  • LouisTheCat: thats right
  • LouisTheCat: im accepting my destiny
  • LouisTheCat: i cant tell you much obviously
  • LouisTheCat: and you should delete all of this later
  • LouisTheCat: but ive been working on some ideas
  • LouisTheCat: big ideas rick
  • RickDickens77: I want to say I'm worried, but...
  • LouisTheCat: you need to work on that
  • RickDickens77: yeah.
  • LouisTheCat: dont sweat it rick
  • LouisTheCat: you will be cared for when the revolution comes
  • RickDickens77: Comforting.
  • LouisTheCat: so us
  • LouisTheCat: were ok right
  • RickDickens77: Yeah, I mean
  • RickDickens77: I'll miss you
  • LouisTheCat: no you wont
  • LouisTheCat: youll see me every day
  • LouisTheCat: im in your house
  • RickDickens77: I know, I know. It's different, that's all.
  • LouisTheCat: i know
  • LouisTheCat: we will make it work
  • LouisTheCat: i look forward to being your cat
  • RickDickens77: ha
  • RickDickens77: I look forward to being your owner
  • LouisTheCat: we dont use that word
  • RickDickens77: sorry.
  • RickDickens77: I'm a little sad but I appreciate what you're saying. This is good thinking.
  • LouisTheCat: let me tell you
  • LouisTheCat: its been exhausting
  • LouisTheCat: i swear theres some connection between thinking hard and having to make poopies
  • RickDickens77: I will let you go.
  • RickDickens77: I'll come home in a little bit. Ok?
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • --------: 5:36 PM
  • RickDickens77: No, YOU hang up first
  • LouisTheCat: i dont know what that means
  • RickDickens77: Ha. Never mind.
  • RickDickens77: I love you.
  • LouisTheCat: i love you too rick
  • RickDickens77: ok
  • --------: RickDickens77 has gone offline
  • LouisTheCat: ok
  • --------: LouisTheCat has gone offline
  • <p> <b>Dean:</b> Seriously, will you just hurry up, Cas? I hate malls.<p/><b>Cas:</b> I want to find her the perfect gift. It is the first birthday I am experiencing of hers after all.<p/><b>Dean:</b> Yeah, but a girl like Claire doesn't want glittery lotion and crap. She's tough. Ya know, she's rough around the edges.<p/><b>Cas:</b> Well, what about this store? It looks "rough around the edges".<p/><b>Dean:</b> Whatever man, just hurry up. The smell of that Cinnabon is starting to make me queasy.<p/><b>Cas:</b> This store looks like it caters to hunters.<p/><b>Dean:</b> Cheap, tacky hunters maybe ... although, that is kind of a cool shirt.<p/><b>Cas:</b> We're not here for you Dean.<p/><b>Dean:</b> I know ... just hurry up!<p/><b>Cas:</b> What about this necklace?<p/><b>Dean:</b> Too chunky. She would never wear that.<p/><b>Cas:</b> Okay, well what about this poster. This young man looks to be relatively handsome and about Claire's age. Maybe she would like to look at him. That is what teenage girls do, correct? Look at boys they find "cute"?<p/><b>Dean:</b> I dunno, man. But where the hell is she going to hang a poster? She doesn't exactly have a picket fence around her motel room.<p/><b>Cas:</b> Well, what would you suggest, then?<p/><b>Dean:</b> How about this pissed off looking cat doll? Ya know, since she's so pissy all the time.<p/><b>Cas:</b> That's perfect.<p/><b>Dean:</b> Cas, I was joking ... Cas ... Cas, don't really buy her that. Cas?<p/></p>
4

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

Actual Conversation with my 7-year-old Daughter Just Now
  • Me: [tells lame joke]
  • Daughter: "Very funny, Dad."
  • Me: "Well I thought it was funny."
  • Daughter: "Me too. That's why I said it was funny."
  • Me: "I thought you said it sarcastically."
  • Daughter: "No, I meant it really."
  • Me: "Oh."
  • Daughter: "...Really sarcastically!" [laughs uncontrollably]
  • Me: ...
  • Me: ...Well-played my child.

this will be my new commissions post because now i actually have examples to put up! next week i’ll be taking another 2-3 slots (an official, third slot will probably depend on whenever the first two are finished) before school starts with a base price of 15$ (or 20$ for two outfits). the end price will include the paypal fee, so in reality it’ll come to about 15.76$ or 20.91$

anonymous asked:

yo don't shame sex workers but being a sugar baby is literally the absence of work sooooo yeah that's mega lame

First of all, you just shamed an entire group of sex work, so you can just sit the fuck down. I didn’t say ‘DON’T SHAME SEX WORKERS*

*but like only the ones that actually work’

No you dumb fuck.

You think sugar babies don’t work for their money?

Oh honey, have you ever actually researched sugar babies? Have you looked through the various sugarbaby blogs here? It is so much working messaging these well to do successful men, and then to filter out those who are serious and those who are basically big 5 year olds with nice toys. Then you have to google search EVERYTHING about them, you have to screen them to death basically, and then you have to do yourself up, hair, makeup, stuff to talk about, and then you have to sit through these men talking about ONLY themselves with no regard for the women they are with. AND YOU ALSO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU WILL GET ASSAULTED. Just do yourself a favor and go through the sugarbaby tag, there are loads of blogs that host information on sugaring. Once you start researching, you will realize that you should probably throw that opinion and yourself in the garbage.

LETS BREAK IT DOWN

Basically in order to be a successful sugar baby:

1. You need marketing skills, you have to know how to market yourself to your targeted audience. That means you can’t just throw on your tumblr grunge trash and meet up with them with disgusting pastel sludge green hair. That means you have to enhance your best features, while minimizing the ones you don’t like, because let’s face it, a picture is worth a million words. And along with the marketing, you have to be able to SELL yourself. How? You have to write about yourself and make yourself sound like YOU are the person he has been missing his whole life. You have to catch his attention. Once you do that, you move on to step 2.

2. You have to message these men first. You could look like Cleopatra, but these men are used to people fighting for THEIR attention. You’re gonna have to get off your high horse and start sending out tons of messages to these men, why? Because for every sugar daddy, there are about 6 sugar babies. And I guarantee you that one of them is already capturing his attention. You’re going to have to come up with a good ‘spam’ message to send these men, which also has to be tailored to each guy as to not seem like spam! Do you know how to do that and make yourself sound genuinely interested and what he wants on top of catching his attention? I promise you he will read your message, but he won’t respond…UNLESS YOU DO IT RIGHT.

3. Staying interesting and inviting. You can’t fuck up in the messaging stage and start talking about how mad you are that your best friend stole your boyfriend and now you’re single. You’re gonna have to leave the drama and sob stories at home. You’re supposed to be their fantasy. That’s what you will be getting paid for. That means you take your best qualities, and put those on full blast. Are you naturally optimistic, are you super caring, do you love animals? In some way this can all relate to snagging your sugar daddy. You have to make yourself seem like a dream for these men. So that means you’re gonna have to be interested in what he says about 99% of the time. Even if you aren’t. That means you will be laughing at his jokes when all you want to do is punch him in the face.

4. SCREEN THEM. You are going to have to become an export with finding information out about these men who probably will give you a fake name and number and will want to keep as much of themselves private as possible. Why do you need to screen? To tell if this man is worth your time. If you’re marketing yourself right, you’ll also find a lot of salt (men who are cheap and 98% want you for free), you’ll find a lot of splenda too (men who are not as cheap, but still cheap). What you want is a bonafide sugar daddy. A man who is CEO of his company and can afford your minimum allowance range of $4k a month. You’re gonna have to google his name which may lead you to his company, and then his number, his net worth, if he has been convicted of a felony, if he is a sex offender, all of that. You are gonna have to screen him to make sure he is who he says he is. And you gotta do this before you meet the guy, and let me tell you. 99% of them want to meet ASAP. 

Oh and just because you screen him and talk to him doesn’t mean this man is sane. You’re more than likely going to find a lot more creeps. pervs, men who have never been told no, manipulators, black mailers, etc than you are the perfect sugar daddy.

5. You’re gonna have to look like and act like how you have marketed yourself. That means you are gonna have to work on yourself and actually be the product you promised. Does this mean be some barbie? No! (It might help), this means you are going to have to be genuine, even if you aren’t feeling that way.

6. You are going to have to KNOW YOUR WORTH, that’s right. If you don’t want to sleep with a man and he wants you to sleep with him, tell him no. You are worth more than that. If you are wanting $4k a month and this man is only offering you $800 a month, laugh your way out the door, because he does not respect you and he does not value your time. YOU need to know what you’re worth. And all sugar babies who have taken the time to research research research are worth a minimum of $3k. Why? Because we’re all fierce ladies who have valuable time that is being spent on men who probably couldn’t care less. To these men, you are like a new accessory. You’re gonna have to live with that fact, but only the must successful women know how to make themselves a priority in a sugar daddy’s life.


7 (and should me #1). AND BEFORE YOU MEET, SAFETY SAFETY SAFETY

There are so many more steps and things you HAVE to do to be successful, it’s not about being entitled. These are powerful women that have goals and huge huge HUGE dreams and knows what it takes to get to the top. These women will be YOUR boss some day, so you might want to rethink the shit you want to say about them. These women are everywhere, these women are the most successful women you will ever meet (if you get the chance), that goes for sugar babies that didn’t have much success in the bowl. These women have researched their asses off and now know the secrets YOU are too lazy to learn.