[[and you of course you silly billy]]

harry’s team: so we envisioned a club, maybe an up-and-coming model…what are you doing

harry: mixing the flour to make a mountain of cakes which a diverse cast of children will be hurling at each other in replicas of my suits before i make my grand entrance with some puppies featuring some dramatic close-ups emulating a war environment and a smirk at the end because i know exactly what i’m doing of course silly billies can you please pass me the eggs

The Darling Buds of May

Summary: Royal AU. King Bill Istvan Günther Skarsgård the III has been in love with you his whole life, but can’t marry you because of a peace treaty. He tries to hold his tongue as you enter an abusive, loveless marriage. One night, however, he can no longer stand idly by.  

Words: 3132

Paring: King! Bill x Reader

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING. There are mentions of abuse in this. There are no scenes of direct abuse, but it’s very much present in this. Please do not read if you are triggered by mentions of domestic abuse. Violence, mentions of blood and injuries. SMUT. Do NOT read if you are under 18. Unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex. Name calling. Verbal abuse. Asshole husband of Reader. Death. Yucky blood. Alcoholism. Belittling of women. Some men are so gross. Please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything. 

So @supersoldierslover and I saw that super sexy picture of Bill as King Phillip. Taw came up with the entire plot and I decided to write it. This is dedicated to her and her awesomeness. I seriously owe her so much. I would not be writing again if it wasn’t for her. This is a little harsher than most of my stuff but still very fluffy with a happy ending. 

Picture credit: @pennyismymanny thank you for sharing this with us! 

Originally posted by roseydoux

Keep reading

Lend Me a Hand (Genyatta)

Rated: T for violence
Words: 1636 (Oneshot)

Although it wasn’t requested, I couldn’t resist writing it, even if it was just an idea!

Meditation was a forty five minute affair, for Genji and Zenyatta, which they had to themselves for peaceful thinking, daily. The two had a room on the base for this practice, as Zenyatta had kindly asked Winston for when he had agreed to help out with his gifts within the new Overwatch. The group had cleared the two out an old small social room, and Zenyatta had decorated it with plants and a small bubbling fountain in one corner. Often, various insects and birds would fly into the room if they left the window open, and a few members of the team had walked in numerous times to Zenyatta obliviously meditating, butterflies stuck to his face or birds perched along his arms and shoulders. The sensors on his surface were shut off and power redirected during meditation, and he often flickered back to life to Genji trying to round up and collect animals and insects.

This day was no different. Genji and Zenyatta were out in the grounds training. Genji vaulting the cliffs above Zenyatta with his brother in a quest of strength, the two eager to compete with one another once again. Hanzo still refused to pick up a  blade, and so the two endurance trained, scrambling up rock faces and fighting hand to hand with bots also firing as a distraction. Genji’s pistons hissed and released gas as he struggled to block a palm directed at his chin. The palm connected with a gruff growl from Hanzo, who immediately took control of his advantaged, and pressed forwards, knocking the cyborg back with another power packed palm smashing into the fibrous wires between his arm and chest plate. Genji was sent flying backwards a few steps and Hanzo leapt into the air in kick, his bare foot aimed at Genji’s gut. The ninja reacted quickly and stumbled back another few steps before regaining his footing and refocusing his core, spreading his feet and arms for balance. Hanzo huffed a chuckle and held his fist close to his side, his other arm outstretched, two fingers beckoning Genji forwards.

“You have grown too reliant on your speed, brother. What if you were to be caught without weapons, surely, it seems, you would be bested easily?” Hanzo grinned, his teeth glinting in challenge as sweat dripped down his temples and chest, unburdened by his kyudo-gi which he had shed and the yugake gloves which were placed on top. Genji was glad that as a cyborg, he no longer had to worry about the smell from sweating, or sweating at all.

“Rather, it seems, brother, that you have been busy. Was normal life too mediocre for you? I’m guessing you spent plenty of time picking fights. Its hard to let it go completely, Hanzo.” Genji’s eyebrows quirked cheekily, and he too, gritted his teeth before dashing forwards and landing a punch on Hanzo’s chest. The elder Shimada grunted but quickly used Genji’s momentum to push the second punch past his side.

Zenyatta had long since finished the motions of his own practice, and sat peacefully, watching the two lethal heirs have at one another. Genji was far weaker in hand to hand, and had always lagged behind Hanzo in their specific training for it when they were younger, and still it seemed, that his stamina was lacking in comparison. A ninja usually had little need for hand to hand, and that was reflected in Genji’s typical fighting technique, run rings around them, weaken them, and then strike and get the finishing blow, or go straight for the throat and the quick and easy kill. Hanzo was far more used to patience and endurance, waiting for his kill, before aiming and releasing the arrow for the long awaited end. Zenyatta’s orbs whirled around his neck as he thought, and he began comparing the two, sensors and memory units committing details of their fighting to memory in case he should need it one day.

The monk was joined on the grass by the, as he insisted, ‘cowboy’, Jesse McCree. He tipped his hat in greeting and flopped down on the grass next to Zenyatta, gloved hands picking around the strands for a satisfactory piece which he then inserted between his lips and ground the stalk between his back teeth, the top covered with seeds.

“Greetings McCree. Have you come to watch them spar?” Zenyatta tipped his head curiously, an orb raised a little above the rest to reflect this. Jesse shrugged at his questioning and turned his eyes towards the two brothers who were now huffing with effort.

“I came to watch the fireworks, sure. Been a while since I’ve seen something juicy like this. The only ones that used to be worth watching were Morrison and Reyes-” McCree caught sight of the bare sweaty chest of the eldest Shimada brother, and whistled, “Well if that ain’t a pretty sight, then I don’t know what is.”

Zenyatta glanced over the elder brother and shrugged, his orbs moving up and down with his shoulders, “ I do not see the appeal I’m afraid my friend. Perhaps you have an attraction to tattoos? Or perhaps it is facial hair?” and turned his head back to McCree innocently, folding his hands in his lap over the top of his yellow robes.

McCree shrugged and moved the piece of grass to his other cheek, biting down on the stalk, “Look at dem-”

“I assume you were talking about us as we were fighting?” Hanzo’s scowling face pinned a glare on McCree and wiped his neck on the towel he had strung over his shoulder. Genji’s face was amused and he chuckled before offering a cybernetic hand for Zenyatta.

“As much as I would love to see the domestic that is about to occur, brother, me and my master have meditation to attend to.” Genji elbowed Hanzo in the side and tugged Zenyatta up off the ground. “Shall we, master?” Zenyatta’s senors scanned over Genji and a sadness registered as he realised as Genji had replaced his face plate and visor back in their place.

“Of course my student. Let us go and rid you of these frustrations.” Zenyatta was not unaware of the strange way Genji had been acting. Perhaps meditating would help Genji think upon his problems. McCree waggled his eyebrows as they left.

The two settled into the room relatively easy, and Zenyatta first spent time tending to his plants, carefully pruning the bonsai trees he had cultivated from seeds. One mistake would mean hours upon hours of labours would be wasted. Genji watered the easier house plants before rotating a few succulents and seating himself on one of the cushions, his pistons releasing streams of hot air as he relaxed. Zenyatta soon followed him, putting aside his watering can and slowly sitting, crossing his legs over one another. With a hum he began focusing his systems and lowering the power to his peripherals, the hum that was whirring in his chest slowing. Genji shifted in his seat and plating thumped softly as he rested his arms on top of his thighs and sighed with a mechanical edge.

They were only sat for a few minutes, Zenyatta having almost fully focused, when he felt the stare of Genji’s eyes on his body. The orbs around Zenyatta’s neck span in place and clinked, sparkling gold as he powered his peripherals once more.

“My student, is there something bothering you? You know you can speak to me of your problems.” Genji jolted at the sound of Zenyatta’s soft, sudden voice, but quickly regained his composure. He seemed almost contemplative for a moment or two, before he reached up to his face and clicked the visor and guard away, placing them on the pillow beside his thigh. The cyborg then gingerly scooted forwards and seated himself in front of Zenyatta, wringing his hands a little. Zenyatta tilted his head and waited for Genji to explain himself. Carefully, cybernetic hands reached forwards, and pushed Zenyatta’s thumb and forefinger apart gently- it was Zenyatta’s common hand position when he meditated. With gentle strokes and pushes, Genji flattened out the hands in his grip and pushed the fingers apart, linking them with his own as he pushed his and Zenyatta’s hands together.

“I apologise for staring, Zenyatta, and for being so distant recently. I…” Genji closed his mouth and swallowed, “I have been thinking on something, something huge, and I felt it was necessary to have some distance to sort through my thoughts. Now, I have concluded what they mean.” The ninja nodded and squeezed the monk’s hands, as though grounding himself. Zenyatta felt the gentle squeeze through his sensors, and instinctively gave Genji’s hands a squeeze of comfort back. Genji smiled, “Master- ah Zenyatta. Would you do me the honour of having your hand?”.

Zenyatta gazed at Genji for a moment, before humming confusedly,

“Ah, of course you can my student, however I’m afraid the procedure is a lengthy one. My hands are not like other omnics, they do not remove with switches, and the operation would mean I have to severe my sensor wires…”

Genji stared at his face, his mouth open wide and he closed it several times before fumbling for words, “Ah! Zenyatta, I did not mean literally, I am sure it is-”

Zenyatta’s regal laugh broke him off and the omnic chuckled in the air, his legs wiggling as he gripped his belly, “Oh of course I know what it means Genji. I was merely jesting with you.” Zenyatta pushed a finger through the dark hair covering Genji’s dark hazelnut eyes, and hummed gently.

“Of course I’ll give you my hand in marriage silly billy.”

Genji tackled him in a tear wet hug.

anonymous asked:

hi! if you're ever looking for a sad dex prompt, think of foster kid dex with a little sister who he loves more than anything, who bounce from foster home to foster home, some worse than the others, but none good. But Dex ages out of the system(1/2)

(2/2) and he gets separated from his little sister, and just angst when Ransom talks about his big family and the team finding out, and a little nurseydex maybe? I don’t know, I really love your writing though


Yo, I’m ALWAYS looking for sad Dex and/or Nursey prompts.  And I love this one.  and thanks! 

Thanks for the prompt! Enjoy! :-) xxxx


“Promise me you’ll look out for your sister.” Will’s mom had asked once.  It was Joy’s first day of school, and she wanted him to check on her during the day.

“Promise Mom.” Will had said, mouth full of toast.  She had smiled, and gone back to putting on her make up.


It was a promise he did his best to keep, no matter where they were.

Keep reading


Justine: “Ohh man, I’m really starting to feel homesick… I miss the silly tunes Billy would play on his annoying guitar… Did I really gain a soft heart for my husband?”

Jack: “Of course I’m one of the first to finally start fishing for extra dinner. Of course I’m the one that has to save everyone from starvation, since all others are too busy fighting and paying attention to useless stuff like a random crow…”

Taylor: “Do you think we can eat it?”
Justine: “Are you going to slaughter it? I don’t think I could do such vulgar work!”
Taylor: “What?! No way! I’m a vegetarian!”
Justine: “But you just asked if this bird was edible?”
Taylor: “Hunger makes me say strange things…”

I’m Voting For The Democrat In November Because I’m Not A Human Tire Fire

This is for anybody wasting time online blathering about how Hillary and Trump are the same; how if Hillary gets the nomination, they won’t vote at all; or how they’re super-stoked to vote for a third party candidate because THEY HAVE PRINCIPLES, GODDAMMIT.

Hi. I’m your Auntie Sara. Time to wake the fuck up. If you are decent, you are going to vote for the Democrat in November. Not because you love Hillary (or Bernie, for whom I will vote if Hillary doesn’t get the nomination!) Not because you love the two-party system (I don’t! Do you? That’s weird! We deserve better!) But because we’re dealing with brass tacks reality here, not our dreams.

No, I don’t assume you’re sexist because you want to vote for Bernie. Of course not. I know many good and decent people, men and women and gender queer folks, who want to vote for Bernie, or for Hillary, or for Jill, or for ALMOST anyone but Trump. Yes, Bernie Bros are real. Yes, Hillary people can be annoying. Yes, any folks can be awful. I am not a woman who thinks everyone who loves a dude is sexist. I love dudes too! Sometimes ladies also! Sometimes folks who don’t conform to gender! Anyway, read on.

When I was a tiny baby woman of 20, I loved Michael Moore’s assertion that Gore and Bush 2 were EXACTLY THE SAME, MAAAAAAAN. I loved this because he was funny and smart, this Michael Moore, in my opinion. I still dig Michael Moore, though only in part and not in an idolatrous way, because I have put away most childish things like blind devotion to anyone who says something that sounds good but does not bear up to actual analysis. He is a wonderful filmmaker and storyteller with whom I do not always agree. He has evolved and so have I.

Other people who I thought were funny and smart and sensible loved Ralph Nader, too! Especially this one girl I knew with expensive dreadlocks (yes she was white, you silly billy, but you knew that already!) I thought Nader sounded great! I recognized he would never ever win the general, so I advocated for Gore. But still, this Nader was a delight! Also he made sure we had seatbelts! Were you aware? History is fun!

Then Bush 2 won.


Remember No Child Left Behind? AHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, how fun it was to contend with that gem of legislation a few years later when I was teaching in the public high school system. Remember abstinence-only education? Of course you do; it’s how you had your first child. And your second. They’re so cute now! Hooray!

My point is this: don’t throw your vote away because your ego and your “personal brand” says you’ve got to Feel the [fill in the blank thing that sounds great but will not lead to the Democrats actually winning the presidency in November 2016.]

I get it if it makes you feel really good personally and like a great liberal with super awesome true blue standards to vote for Bernie and support Bernie. He has many good things to say! He’s done some lovely stuff! He is smart and amazing and I admire him a great deal. I admire many people. That’s great. I also enjoyed Ralph Nader for a time. You know who’s also great? Dr. Jill Stein, the Green lady! She seems great! But when Hillary gets the nomination, and she will, it is imperative to vote for the Democrat because the DNC platform is vastly superior to the GOP values. And if it makes you feel good in your feelings to stay home from the polls because you don’t like Hillary or don’t agree with things that she has done or said, you are effectively voting for Donald Trump.

And I’m not voting for Hillary JUST because I think she’s more electable. I admire many things about her, too. Too many to list here, in fact! I don’t know her personally. I don’t know Bernie personally. I don’t know Trump personally. This is about the work. This is not about being a fangirl or fanboy or doing what will make my friends (most of whom love either Bernie or Hillary) happy. This is what I think is right for my country in the pragmatic long run where feelings cool and your angry or elated reaction to this post is but a mere memory and you and I and everyone we know has to actually contend with the policies enacted by our president.

So get your fucking shit together once Hillary is the nominee, unless your ego and need to talk about stuff at your organic locally grown dinner parties for the next four years is greater than your respect for and compassion for the people who would suffer terribly under a GOP presidency and the Supreme Court for the next 10 to 40 years.

Sometimes you make the best choice and you still don’t love it. But this is real life, not your copy of “Be Here Now.” I had that book too. It was great! It was written by a wonderful man who comes from a world of white privilege. I do too! Isn’t it crazy that I can make sense in some ways and be annoying or odious to you in other ways? This is how life works: things are not always all great, and neither are people.

Yes, we ought to have a system in which two parties are not dominant. It’d be great to have more than two viable candidates for president. Can you magically make that happen by November? No? Cool. Don’t vote Green. Don’t vote Libertarian. Vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton. Because it matters, and your choice this fall, barring an act of a God who does not exist, is Hillary or Trump. That’s your choice. Hooray!

You don’t like Hillary’s past support for military actions in XYZ? Cool! Me neither, sometimes! Show me a president who has never made a decision that led to the deaths of women and children and innocent humans at home or (more likely) abroad and I will show you a lie. You think Bernie wouldn’t take military action if necessary? You think our bombs wouldn’t land on kids even if he took every precaution to ensure only military targets were hit? In what fucking world is the leader of any country a saint? Saints don’t exist. Saints are a lie.

You think that’s an endorsement of policies that kill innocent children? Then you’re sorely in need of a course in reading comprehension.

I supported Hillary in the primary back in ’08. Then I supported Barack Obama in the general. Why? Because, as the title indicates, I am not a human tire fire. Barack Obama has done amazing things for queer people here! He has also okayed the use of drones that killed innocent children in Pakistan and elsewhere! If you cannot look critically at your candidate, you will not look critically at your President. You’re a cult member. Cult members never do anything good ever, except for the Amish people who make really great soft pretzels. But they still oppress women, even with their charming bonnets! Can you hold many truths in your brain at once? No? I’m sorry about that. Please read more and then talk to humans who are not like you, sometimes.

In the real world, sometimes you do not get all of the candy. Sometimes you get a little bit of the candy and that is better than getting a pile of actual flaming garbage. Don’t just think about yourself… Think about the people who will be affected by the policies of the next president, as well as the people who will be affected by the Supreme Court. Unless your politics is just about whatever T-shirt you wear, in which case you really ought to get more into football.

You think this is condescending? I’m using small words to help you understand what many, many, many of us get: your assertion that you can’t in good conscience vote for Hillary is an insult to me and women and queer folks and all the people who benefit and even have a chance to thrive under Democratic policies. You’d consign us to 4 years of Trump and two or three decades of a disgusting, vile Supreme Court because you have a sad feelz in your tam-tam?

You’re goddamn right I’m condescending to you. You deserve this.

Get with the fucking program.


Yes even MORE exciting things are happening on this very blog here. 
Starting in the month of Decemeber 2015, we will be implementing a system that helps us appreciate the very people who make this blog what it is, ALL OF YOU!
So you may be saying, just what in the Doug Dimmadome owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome is a Monthly Follower Scrapbook? Well, I’m glad you asked!
A MFS is quite simple. Every month we will feature four followers. Those followers will be chosen completely at random so there is no funny business happening. Now this feature is not a normal like, promo kinda thing. We will contact each person chosen(and they can decide if they want to be in it or not, it’s not required if your name is drawn) and they can give us any kind of info. This can include SFW photos(especially of pets, show me your pets), a little bio about yourselves, if you write you can feel free to promote, really anything. It’ll be your space. 

 These will of course go under their own tag as well. 

Now for those of you wondering, why? BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU ALL, silly billys. We are trying to think of more ways to show our appreciation to you all and this is one. We hope you are looking forward to it as much as we are. 

The Phanfiction Catalogue Team

Ectofeature Week 7: Creature Feature

Ectofeature Week 7: Creature Feature
Summary: Jane Wright never much cared for monster flicks, which is too bad, as her life seems to have become one.
Notes: Follows up on Winter. Because visible!Billy.


Keep reading