[ ahem

the package

Clever got me this far, then tricky got me in
Eye on what I’m after, I don’t need another friend
Smile and drop the cliché ‘til you think I’m listening
I’ll take just what I came for, then I’m out the door again

There are things Sam has to remember, every day. Some days are harder than others.

The desk girl for the precinct is smiling at him, coquettish. He smiles back, making sure that his eyes crinkle at the corners. It’s how he looks honest. She’s hot, kind of—blonde hair, green eyes, nice enough tits. Maybe an eight. He thinks he’ll fuck her, once they murder the rugaru.

“Agent?” Samuel says, turning to go.

Sam nods, taps the case file they’ve stolen on the counter. “Thank you for your help, Madeleine,” he says, and she bites the inside of her lip. Good. He’s got her business card, with her personal cell written in curvy script on the other side. He’ll probably have to go her apartment, but at least it’ll be easy to ditch her when they’re done.

In the car, Samuel tugs his tie loose and gives him a look across the seat. “Flirting with the secretary, huh? She’s cute.”

Sam doesn’t acknowledge it. The afternoon’s cool, the sun sinking in the sky. October in Indiana, the days stretching out longer than they should. He’s always thought daylight savings was a joke.

“Okay, then,” Samuel says, once the silence has stretched. “Wait until dark, or wait until he goes to work?”

“Why wait?” Sam says. He flicks a finger at the case file. “He’s probably home now. Let’s ice him, get it over with.”

Samuel props an elbow on the steering wheel, frowns at him. “His wife’s probably home,” he says, after a second. He’s giving Sam one of those… looks. Sam looks out the window again. “Maybe we don’t scare the civilians, huh?”

“Yeah,” Sam says. He puts on another brief smile, meets Samuel’s eyes. Steady, trustworthy. “Of course.”

He doesn’t know why it matters. The woman’s going to have a dead husband either way; what does it matter if she sees the corpse now or later? This is one of those things, though. He forgets. People are—sentimental.

Samuel wants burgers for dinner. Fine. They eat in the car, some old-man music that Samuel wants to listen to playing. Sam introduced him to CDs recently, and wishes now that he hadn’t. But, whatever. They park half a block down from the rugaru’s house, waiting for him to make a move, and Sam folds his arms, cross his ankles, settles in for a long night. Waiting is annoying. Something he remembers doing, from before. He supposes it’s part of the game.

Around eleven o’clock, Samuel starts awake. Sam keeps his eyes on the house’s dark façade. “Oh, damn, sorry,” Samuel says. He wipes his mouth. “Must’ve fallen asleep.”

Sam looks at him, across the seat. What is he supposed to say to that. So many pointless conversations. Samuel’s a good hunter—not as good as Sam, and not as good as Dean used to be—but the storehouse of knowledge, the no-nonsense attitude, that’s what Sam sticks around for. Still, it’s sometimes hard for Sam not to just beat that bald head in. He thinks he’s probably supposed to feel a little more for someone ostensibly his grandfather. He looks back at the house. No movement.

“Not all that far from Cicero,” Samuel says, after a while.

“Hour and a half,” Sam says. The house is totally dark. Maybe this is a waste of time. “Two hours, the way you drive.”

“Ha.” Samuel shifts in his seat, and Sam can tell he’s being watched. “You sure you don’t want to go see your brother?”

Sam bites back a sigh. He wishes he hadn’t told Samuel where Dean was. “Yes, I’m sure,” he says. “I wanted him to have a life, and he has it. He’s out. I’m not going to ruin that.”

Samuel grunts. “Can’t believe he managed to stay out,” he says, but it’s a more dismissive tone. Subject dropped.

There’s a brief impulse to defend Dean, but there’s no point to it. Samuel has no idea. Sam remembers. He made Dean promise. He held Dean’s face in his hands and Dean had stared at him like he was gut-shot, broken-open, and Sam remembers so clearly the shine of wet at his eyelashes, the warm give of his skin, the way he’d come for Sam, had bled and died for Sam, would give anything, even his life’s purpose, for Sam. He remembers the feeling, clearly—wanting something better for his brother. Wishing he could give even a tenth of what he’d been given. The feeling isn’t there, now.

Down the street, the door on the house opens, and out steps the rugaru under the streetlight—Mack Jenkins, age forty, no idea what’s happening to him. Pale and slavering and running with blood on his mouth.

“Whoops,” Sam says, while Samuel’s grabbing up this flamethrower from the floorboards. “Looks like Mrs. Jenkins may not have made it, after all.”

Samuel curses and throws his door open, and then Sam’s running, the hunt beating fast in his blood, finally using his body to its purpose, the spike of adrenaline filling him up, at last—

The rugaru’s burning. Sam stands close to the flames, where it’s warm. Samuel’s coughing, out of breath. Weak. Oh, well. At least he had the intel. Still—sometimes Sam wishes for his brother. Whatever his faults—and they’re many—Dean can keep up, in a way that none of the Campbells have been able to. He douses the corpse with another gout of flame, making sure that the body crisps to ash. “I’m going to wait in the car,” Samuel says, and Sam nods, puts on another smile until Samuel turns around, and then lets it fall off his face. While he waits, he pulls out the girl’s business card, looks at her cell number. Sometimes he really does wish he hadn’t made that promise. If Dean were here he would’ve gotten the hunt done faster, and when they got back to the motel—

But, no. He made the decision, back then. He must have had a good reason, even if he can’t feel it now. He watches the flames. He’ll ditch Samuel, once he’s done here. He’ll call Madeleine. He’ll have to wait through two drinks, maybe three. He’ll have to smile, pretend to give a shit about her, but he knows what he looks like and it won’t take all that long, he’s betting. Her eyes are green, which helps. She was hot enough for him that it’ll be easy to get her on her belly, to make her let him fuck her ass, to push her facedown into the pillow and imagine someone else. He feels like taking his time, tonight. He hopes she won’t cry. He hates that.

(read on AO3)

anonymous asked:

concept : aliens never heard any music

I have heard tales of the great lyrical poetry of your species. Will you “sing” for me?

Yah sure bud “*ahem* SHORTY HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS

anonymous asked:

What your opinion on krillen and android 18

I love everything about it and it is pure and it is wonderful and it has so many layers of depth to it that no one wants to look into which is frankly a crime…

-ahem-

When you get right down to it, the progression (stated progression at least) of their relationship is easily one of the healthiest in comparison to an irl relationship and would, therefore, be one of the stronger bonds in the show. On her part, it’s simultaneously easier to see, yet harder perhaps to understand, what it means for her to choose him. He’s not what most would consider a conventionally attractive man, he’s not as comparably strong, he’s not very exotic or wealthy, etc. and the last bit there is actually pretty sacrificial on her part. While 18 isn’t necessarily what I’d call materialistic, she does have a love for the finer things in life, likely both due to her delinquent lifestyle and being used to taking what she wanted, and also likely due to simply never having had them. Whether it’s residual memories of childhood, or simply the lack of memories of these things, I can’t say. But she gave that up, or at least put it on the back burner, when she married him. 

As for why she married him… it was because he wasn’t like anyone she’d ever met before. He wasn’t two-faced, he didn’t really serve any ulterior motives, he didn’t try to act tough to impress her, didn’t change himself to be more like what he’d assume she’d like him to be. He was just himself, he was honest and straightforward with her, he was a nice guy and not wild or “bad” at all. And that attracted her to him, she wanted more of that. He represented a normal, happy, decent future for her with someone who only wanted to see her happy, and she wanted that, and him, more than anything.

As for his POV, it’s easy to see why he’d like her, but also harder to see what he had to overlook. On the one hand, let’s get real: she’s one of the few women who ever showed any kind of interest in or paid attention to him. She was the first one to ever even so much as kiss him on the dang cheek, so far as we ever saw in canon at least. And that did endear her to him. Is that sad and kinda pathetic? Yes, it honestly is to an extent, and he himself recognized that. But at the same time, as he learned more about her and even her brother, his outlook changed. These were two kids who, in the prime of their lives, had them stolen away, turned into weapons by some madman obsessed with revenge, who’d then decided they were outmoded, defective, and had tried to simply put them into storage like some kind of toy. He also noted, as Kami had, that the two really hadn’t done anything wrong. They’d killed Gero and had intended to be on their way until Vegeta had pressed a fight with the two, and the sole reason they were looking for Goku was so 16 could fulfill his prime directive and they could go live their lives however they wanted. 

He saw they wanted a semblance of normalcy, a chance to live. It’s part of why he smashed that remote rather than deactivate her, take away her personhood and reduce her to a thing again. It’s why he used a wish to try to restore her and her brother back to being completely human, but at least removed the explosives planted within them. He did this without thinking he’d get any benefit from it; hell, he was sure that her brother was her boyfriend at the time, that as attractive as she was she had to have someone, that he had no chance in hell of having any relationship with her at all, but… he still genuinely cared, wanted her to be able to have her life back, or at least some semblance of it.

On the flipside, this is also why 18 snapped at him and accused him of saving her and expecting her to just fall at his feet in gratitude, why she tried to accuse him of making that wish to “win her heart”. It was how everyone had treated her. People were only nice to her when they expecting to get something in return, or helped her seeking some form of gratuity. But this man, this weird, funny little man who’d tried to reason with her instead of assuming she was a monster… he hadn’t. He treated her like a person and gave her a chance to live expecting absolutely nothing from her in return.

That’s what sparked off their relationship, that’s what bloomed into love, a marriage, a family. And that is why I do feel they are objectively among the most underrated fictional couples of all time in ANY series.

Sex or no sex?

Laure (@laure00001): SEX. Who needs it, right? I mean what is it useful for anyway? It’s dirty, messy, noisy, and… ahem… Ok, seriously. Carrie and Quinn already have a complex, emotional, intense connection. Why is sex so important? 

Frangi (@frangipaniflower001): I believe they belong to each other.

Laure: Ah. A romantic.

Cynthia (@lange-c): Not to pressure you, Laure… but you’ve got a deadline on this debate. Carrie and Quinn could have sex tonight.

Ashley (@ascloseasthis): Fucking whip cracker.

Julie (@gabehcoud): Sleep well, Ashley?

Frangi: As I was saying… I believe Carrie and Quinn belong to each other, not just as platonic soulmates but as partners. Adults who are in love and start a relationship should be allowed to have sex, right?

Laure: Pff. No. Why? Sex. Yuck.

Frangi [ignoring Laure]: But, also and here’s the real reason… Carrie and Quinn so often fail with words. With sex, they would finally be able to open up and communicate.

Keep reading

keipoop  asked:

Mingyu , 10 and 19 pls and thank you ! :D

10) “Am I supposed to be scared of you?”

19) “Ahem, my eyes are up here.”

The soft wind blew the leaves across the green field, disturbing your daily reading by flipping the pale yellow pages of your book, the sharp sounds piercing your ears. Frowning, you looked up at the crystal blue sky and wondered how much longer you had to survive in senior year. April, May, June. 3 more months of pure torture and boredom as you would live out the last days of your youth.

Feeling a stronger wind than usual, you reached for your bag behind you to get your jacket, only to find your bag missing. Strange, you thought. I swear I placed it behind me.

“Looking for something?” You heard a low, humorous voice from the trees on your right, sounding vaguely familiar but also sending chills down your spine. One person came out, a boy with tan skin, brown hair, and a scar on his left cheek: Mingyu, the leader of the school’s “gang.” It wasn’t really a gang, but they often were involved in fights around the town and always got in trouble. “I said, are you looking for something?” Mingyu repeated, not happy that you weren’t paying attention to him. You didn’t notice the signs of annoyance and just rolled your eyes, wanting a jacket.

“Can you give my bag back? I need my jacket.” With those two sentences, you pointed your finger toward the ground next to you, motioning where you wanted your bag placed, and then proceeded to flip through your book to find the plage where you left off before the wind disrupted your peaceful day.

Mingyu just stared, shocked at your lack of surprise or horror. Usually girls who saw him would run away, scared that he would do something to them. But in all honesty, Mingyu never wanted to fight or harm anyone, it was only when annoying, ignorant people made fun of his friends or his family he couldn’t help himself. Your reaction gave him a warm feeling, a strange feeling, in his heart.

“That’s it?” You looked up in confusion, standing up and walking towards him with your head tilted.

“Mingyu, am I supposed to be scared of you?” you asked, your hand quickly snatching away your bag. Mingyu responded by grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards him, your two bodies making contact from the force.

“I don’t know, are you?” You brought your head down in embarrassment to the close contact with Mingyu, not sure what to say.

“I….I don’t know….” All you heard was a slight chuckle and a clearing of the throat before Mingyu interjected;

“Ahem, my eyes are up here.” Rolling your eyes, you looked up at him, slightly taken aback by the soft look in his eyes. “And, (Y/N), you should have no reason to be scared of me.”

“How come, Mingyu?”

“Because…I really like you.” Knowing he usually would never say that to anybody, you decided to tease him a bit.

“How much?”

“Enough to do this.” With that, he took your face into his right hand and pressed a kiss onto your forehead, pressing you closer to him with his left hand.

The wind blew gently, his cologne filled your nose, his body radiated heat to yours; Everything, Mingyu thought, is perfect.

The only thing left Mingyu could wish for was for time to stop forever.

-Admin Gene

So some Archie-stan made a super stupid post (and put it in the spoilers) about how eeeeevvvilllllll we are for not giving poooorrrrr Archie the benefit of the doubt in 108….because look, he’s “made amends to Jughead already/his mommy left him/his suffers from low self-esteem/Ms. Grundy…..

AHEM…..except, that:

A) It’s interesting she brings up “made amends”—-because neither Jughead nor Betty have done ANYTHING to Archie that would need any sort of amends making…..other than taking Juggie in, up to this point, Bughead have always been much better friends to Archie than he has to them. Ditto Veronica

B) Archie’s life is tragic???? Have you looked and Juggie/Betty/Veronica’s lives recently??? Also…low self esteem??? Is precisely why Jughead, with everything else, hasn’t revealed what FP II is.

C) That was NOT Archie’s seekrit to tell, regardless and we’ve already seen, even during BAD times, both Betty and Juggie have kept Douchie’s confidence

D) It’s been made abundantly clear Archie is jealous of Bughead and will continue to make dick moves about it.

E) Apparently (again) Bughead existing somehow threatens ValArchie. Except no and the person who will be fucking that up is none other than Archie himself in short order.

Sigurd: I’ve only got the first verse so far. Do you want to hear it?

Domri (gnome barbarian): Yes, go on.

Sigurd: Ahem. Her hair is like a golden sheet / On a bed in a fancy brothel-

Party: *cracks up*

Sigurd: -Her skin is the colour of maple syrup / That I’d pour on a crispy waffle. There, what do you think?

Grunt (half-orc paladin): You belong in prison.

catsplosionxd  asked:

2A Bendy?

“hey there cutie!… wait. Boris is my best friend, so hes the cutest!.. Im pretty cute too, so im second cutest… let me try this again *ahem* Hey there third cutie.. am i saying it right?”

bendy.. stop.

“Oh! Oh! wait! i got one! yooooooulookbetterthanjoey. umm… you like dancing? cause im a tutu dancing demon!-uhhhh you look sweet?… whats sweet?.. uhhhh your… face features are realistic…?”

*facepalms*


(X3 i loved doing this one. all i could think of was Bendy attempting and failing at pickup/flirt lines XD)

….

junkbunnie  asked:

Not yandere realted but idk where else to say this. I love my co-workers and one of them knows about my ahem "love" for Junkrat, so sometimes I'll joke with her and say weird shit like "I want Junkrat to fist me with his peg leg" or "I wonder if Junkrat pubes are on fire like his hair" and "do you think he says FIRE IN THE HOLE when he bouta come" and her reactions of disgust aRE SO HILARIOUS SHE WALKS AWAY I CANT LOLOL

Next time you talk to her go “Do you think he’s ever jerked off so hard his prosthetic came off?” Bc i think abt that constantly 

Originally posted by the-moonlight-witch

strong-bottle-of-jyn  asked:

Okay, so, here we go - ahem - the first time jyn and cassian kiss is sudden. Its unexpected, because they've been trying to avoid their feelings since, when since Scarif. BUT (I promise not to make this angsty) it's because cassian finds jyn in the cargo hold of his ship neck deep in KX Imperial Security droid parts attempting to repair it. She looks up at him grinning and cassian swears he's never seen her look so beautiful, covered in grease and oil. And he swoops in cups her face and they kis

(I ran out of room) so he swoops in and cups her face and kisses her, and clearly she’s surprised because she freezes under his touch and he pulls away suddenly, afraid he made the wrong choice, though an unconscious choice. So he pulls back and opens his mouth to say something, but finds his mouth covered by Jyn’s. They didn’t leave the hold, and once K2 2.0 was working they got to mortify him by telling him they banged in his parts (they didn’t that’s gross)

AKLGLKAG I LOVE IT SO MUCH

*ahem*

So, I just hit my next hundred followers! And I have a wip that I’ve left in my bellarke folder for FOREVER that I’m gonna finish up and post as a celebration pic!

But it’s a bit… angsty lmao. I swear my next one after this will be fluffy! I promise I’m not trying to depress yall XDDDD