*the hobbit

xxxbladeangelxxx  asked:

Hi! How have you been! How was the movie last night? I hope you don't mind, but for the promptathon. Since we were discussing the hobbit yesterday, how about a AU where Bilbo Baggins is the heir to/king of hobbits? I'd love to see the reaction that the company gets when they come to return Bilbo to the shire and are faced with the fact that they've been dragging a literal king around (at times)like a ratty handbag. (Obviously five armies doesn't happen) there's ample opportunity for laughs!

The movie was great!!! I HAD TOO MANY FEELS. and I skipped the very end because it didn’t happen, nope. Also, THIS WAS FUN :D

The closer they get to the Shire, the more suspicious Bilbo acts.

“Really, it’s fine, I can walk the rest of the way alone,” Bilbo insists several times. “I shouldn’t dream of making you escort me when you still have so much to attend to in Erebor. What if another battle happens? You only barely survived the last one!”

When that fails, he tries bribery. “You know, my Aunt Linda has a whole recipe book, but she is easy to frighten. Perhaps if you turn back to Erebor now, I can mail it to you all the more quickly.”

He tries threats. “What if we get stuck in another troll pit? None of you want to be surrounded by that filthy muck, do you?”

He begs. “Surely you have better things to do?”

Nobody is fooled, least of all Thorin. Bilbo doesn’t want to take them home, likely out of some ridiculous notion of Hobbit courtesy, but Thorin hasn’t come all this way, defeated a dragon and an army of Orcs, and regained his crown to see Bilbo be reunited with his home with anything less than a hero’s tribute. He has several fat sacks of gold for Bilbo, as well as the long-lost treasure trunk from the troll den, not to mention two ponies’ worth of gifts from his thankful people.

“Why, burglar, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you were embarrassed by us,” Thorin says dryly, the next time Bilbo tries to wheedle out of his Company escort.

Bilbo sputters, just as Thorin predicted. “Embarrassed? Me? After what I went through with the lot of you? No, Thorin Oakenshield, I will gladly welcome each and every one of you into my home every day, no matter how many scandalized looks my neighbors give me. That’s not it at all! Oh, you stubborn Dwarf!” He fumes and crosses his arms, refusing to look at Thorin for another hour.

After they pass Bree and approach the Brandywine River, Bilbo finally sighs, deep and troubled. “Bollocks,” he mutters, then puts his hand over his face. “I suppose there’s no chance turning back now, is there?”

He gives Thorin a very despondent look, but Thorin has had months to build immunity to sad Hobbit eyes. He only flinches a little. “No,” Thorin says forcefully.

“Fine,” Bilbo huffs, clearly sulking. “Then on your head be it, and not mine, thank you.”

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Imagine Thorin not knowing if you’re flirting with him, or fucking with him

You: *winks at Thorin over dinner*

Thorin: *after dinner and is talking to Dwalin in private* they keep winking at me, and giving me compliments, and many other signs that they like me, but I do not know.

Dwalin: I mean I have seen the way (y/n) looks at you when they think no one is looking, and on top of that they laugh at all your terrible jokes too. But I still don’t understand what your dilemma is.

Thorin: I guess I just do not know whether (y/n) is flirting with me or fucking with me. I wish to share my feelings, but I do not know if their’s are genuine.

You: *has been behind him for half the conversation* well Thorin, I assure you my feelings are genuine. Also I will point out, flirting, in some cases, leads to fucking. *hugs him from behind*

Dwalin: I’ll leave you two to it then, also Thorin I knew (y/n) was there the whole time, I was just tired of watching you get all flustered every time they were within five feet of you.

Thorin: damn him.

You: *kisses his cheek* hush you salty bean, he took the initiative that neither of us were brave enough to take.

Originally posted by thearkenstone-ck

Originally posted by thearkenstone-ck


Imagine: Thranduil taking you, his wife, on ride on his elk. [x]

Your husband had promised you many things, and so far he had been true to his word and kept them all. All except one. A few moons ago, you had asked him if you made ride with him on his elk. Thranduil had agreed.

       Soon. Soon, he told you.

       As soon as he walked into the room, your husband could sense you were not quite yourself. Although you knew it was a little childish to get upset over, you had been very excited about it- and Thranduil seemed to have forgotten all about it.

      “My dear, what is wrong?” he asks, gently lifting your chin.

     “Can… Can we, if you’re not busy, take a ride on your elk?” you ask, your voice quite, “You said… promised a few weeks ago…”

     “I am sorry,” he murmurs, “I had forgotten all about it. I did not intentionally deny you, wife. Now, come! Of course we can ride the elk. Together.”

     You smiled. He did keep his promises.

Want to request an imagine?

“It began long ago in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Dale, its markets known far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-earth; Erebor, stronghold of Thrór…”

I sometimes imagine Bilbo telling little Frodo all of his adventures.

The Two of Us, part nine

Characters– Fili x Reader

Summary– A friendship with a hobbit leads you to joining an unlikely party to reclaim a mountain kingdom.  Along the way, old secrets and new friendships threaten to change your entire life forever.

Word Count– 3,742

Warnings – None

A/N– Please let me know if you’d like tagged in this series or in my forever tags.  I also have separate Hobbit and SPN tags if you prefer to be tagged in only Hobbit stories or only SPN stories.  Feedback is encouraged and appreciated!

BTW – Fellow Tolkien (book) fanatics will notice that some ages/timelines are a bit off from his universe.  I am aware of this and had to make some changes it to fit the story…I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll forgive me!  

Originally posted by myrkvidrs

Your name: submit What is this?

Fili gallantly offered his arm, which you gladly took.  Hearing Kili grumbling on the other side of you, you giggled, holding your other arm to the dark haired dwarf.  With a Durin on each arm, you followed the others off to Elrond’s library, wondering what they could possibly need to discuss with you.

Before you could go into the room, Fili pulled on your arm gently.  Drawing you off to the side, he looked at you carefully.  “You don’t have to do this, you know.” He whispered.  “You don’t owe them anything.  We can take you back to the company right now if you want.”

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Okay so there’s this big fuckin… Gandalf staff we have on our back porch. It was actually just driftwood that my dad and I found at the lake. It’s taller than me (I’m 5'9") and just really kinda beautiful.

Well, a couple years back, some carpenter bees found it. For those who are unfamiliar, they are a type of bumblebee, the most common in my area, who don’t have hives or a queen, who bore holes in wood to nest. They’re a menace to old wood houses (like ours) but usually no one can bring themselves to kill them. They’re the biggest fattest most docile bumblebees ever, seriously I’ve never been stung by a bee EVER (I mean my mom worked for a beekeeper when I was very young, so she kinda taught me…. proper bee etiquette?), they’ll just fly right by you, and you’ll know it too because the buzz is so loud, and sometimes they’ll hover and stare for a bit, trying to gauge whether or not you’re a flower. They figure it out eventually and they’ll be on their way.

Well anyways, the carpenter bees found the wizard staff and have been making their homes in it. And at first my dad and I were upset, but then I was like “Wait a minute, if you think about it, that’s like… top tier nature wizard shit! That’s some serious Radagast shit right there!”

So now we have this wizard staff, home of the biggest fattest bees you’ve ever seen, and I’ve got some inspiration for a dnd character.

EDIT: Look no one is seeing my reblog, and that’s the best part, so here’s the picture I took of a bee living in said wizard staff.


This Seems a Little Fishy (Company x Mermaid!Reader)

Originally posted by laurensparkesstuff

Originally posted by colors-of-a-mermaid

Gandalf led the Company and Bilbo towards a river that he knew of, so that everyone could wash up and refill their water skins. The whole traveling company had just gone through a length of dry land and wind, causing them to get quite filthy and thirsty.

As Kili and Balin tied up the ponies to nearby trees, and Bombur, Bifur, Nori, and Gloin set up camp, Fili, Thorin, Oin, Ori, Dwalin, Bofur, Gandalf, Bilbo, and Thorin strode down to the river to bathe first.

But as the other dwarves stripped down and got into the gently flowing water (being sure to splash each other and mess around of course), Gandalf paused. The old wizard looked out at the river, narrowing his eyes at something no one else could see.

Bilbo sat down on the bank, about to dip his large hobbit feet in to cool off before he would modestly wash himself ~with his clothes on~, when he saw Gandalf looking into the river, as if he had spotted something of danger or curiosity. “What’s wrong, Gandalf?” he addressed his friend.

Gandalf kept his eyes on the laughing brook that seemed to trip and fall over stones on its way. "There’s something in the water..“ he muttered absentmindedly.

Bilbo carefully stood up on the bank, no longer wishing to get into some kind of infested waters. ”What’s in the water, Gandalf?“ he asked worriedly.

The wizard looked towards the company’s burglar with what looked like a slightly amused expression written on his wrinkled, old face. "Someone I haven’t seen in a long time, Master Baggins.”

Bilbo squinted in confusion. “Some..one?….Gandalf, wha-”

AAAGGHHHH!!!!!” a female voice screamed as the owner of the voice’s head popped up above the surface of the water, a horrified look on her face.

AAAGGHHHH!!!!!” the dwarves and Bilbo replied in unison, all of the dwarves staying in the water but backing up to the bank in a group.

AAAGGHHHH!!!!!” the strange girl screamed again, her eyes not holding a look of fear, but rather shock.

AAAGGHHHH!!!!!” Bilbo and the dwarves once again echoed, the other dwarves who had been working on setting up camp and such running up to them to see what was wrong.

The blonde girl took in a deep, sharp breath and snapped her head towards Gandalf. “Gandalf!! What are you doing here? What are they” she pointed towards the cowering dwarves at the bank of the river, “doing here?!”

Gandalf held a hand out towards her in a calming gesture. “There is no need for alarm, (y/n). I simply realized too late that this was your river. I apologize for the mistake.”

Her river?” Thorin asked astoundedly to no one in particular.

(Y/n) shook her head at Gandalf, a smile forming on her lips to hide the shock in her eyes. “Not at all, my dear friend. But pray tell me, why are you accompanied by these dwarves?” She threw a wary glance at the men who were now clothed, having dressed a bit while she and Gandalf had been speaking.

“They are on a quest to take back their homeland from the dragon Smaug,” Gandalf said heroically, as if they had accomplished the great feat already.

(Y/n)’s eyes widened at this, and her head snapped back to face Gandalf. “Erebor?” she squeaked. He nodded. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard anything of Erebor!” She swam to the bank where Gandalf, Bilbo, and the dwarves stood, where a large rock stood guard as well, and used her strong arms to haul herself onto the grassy shore. All 13 dwarves and Bilbo gasped at the sight of (y/n)’s lower body.

She had no legs. Only a fish-like tail.

“What sort of witchcraft is this??” Dwalin roared.

Dori pushed Ori protectively farther back into the huddled group of dwarves. “She’s obviously under some evil spell!” he added.

(Y/n) narrowed her eyes and smacked her bright green and blue tail onto the rock, using the incredibly strong muscles in her tail to lift herself onto it in a sitting position with her lower half still gripping the rock. She wore a simple silken half-tunic, and a blue underwater flower in her flowing blonde hair.

“She is under no enchantment, Dori, Dwalin. (Y/n) is a mermaid. One of the water-folk.” (Y/n) straightened her back proudly at this. “A being with the upper half of a human, and the lower half of a fish.”

“She’s beautiful,” Kili breathed in awe.

“Aye, that she is,” Fili and Bofur agreed quietly.

Even Ori stared at her luscious features, as if he were not able to tear his eyes away from her.

Bilbo was the only one to blush and look away.

“Please tell me about your quest,” (y/n) quietly begged them, her voice purring. “What was Erebor like?” She grinned, showing off her pearly white teeth. “I want to know everything.”