i have as much sould as you and full as much heart

Unborn part 2



Request : “If you’re still taking requests could you do 27 and 33 with Tom?”

  + “Hey can you do a fic with #5 and #10 from your prompt list where Tom is the reader’s hubby and away on a press tour or something and she realized that she’s pregnant so she starts wearing his shirts he left bc she doesn’t was the media to find out before him?“ @karamelblobber

+ “ooh prompt 10 with Tom?“

»  “Does he know about the baby ?“ part one

»  “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through.”

»  "Is that my shirt?“ part one

Characters : Tom Holland x pregnant!reader

Word count : ~3350

A/N : Ok IVE FINALLY FINISHED IT OMG !!!! You don’t need to have read part one to read it but if you want to check part one. I took like a whole week to write it wtf, I hope you’ll love it, and don’t hesitate to tell me what you thought of this !!! Love you all, thanks for reading me !

His jaw clenched and he couldn’t hear anything around him, even his bestfriend yelling at him to calm down. Tom couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe you lied to him again, you were always pushing him out of your life when he was away, you never told him about the important things as if he wasn’t concerned. He remembered this time there was a flood and you had to live for a few days at your parents’ house, you took care of the incident all by yourself never mentioning it to him. He was upset this time. Like the many other times.

“Fuck it Tom, you’re not focusing on what’s really important there.” Harrison groaned. The blonde boy couldn’t believe it either, but he couldn’t believe how his best friend was reacting to the news. Tom was going to be a father, his wife was pregnant, their dream was coming true, and all he could think about was the fact she waited to tell him ? “You know what, I’m outta this. I’m sorry for Y/N.”

Tom was raging out, if Harrison was against him then everyone else would be, but he didn’t understand why they weren’t standing by his side. He was the one being lied to, he was the one being the fool. “Fuck off !” He yelled at Harrison even if he had already left the hotel room. Tom punched the wall with his fist, his knuckles whiter than ever after he hit it. All his blood seemed to have gotten to his head, he was red, red of too much anger.

Tom was just tired of you lying to him, he knew deep down you didn’t tell him most of the important stuff you had to go through because you didn’t want him to worry while he was away and already too stressed, but he was your husband after all, away or not. Maybe it was also because when you told him everything, he would ask his mother to come check on you, or his brothers, and as much as you loved his family, it was overwhelming to feel that assisted.

Hearing the punch in the wall Tom just had done, his eternal co-star Robert entered the room furrowing his brows. “What the hell kiddo ? This isn’t your lovely house, this isn’t yours, you can’t do what you want.” He took his fist in his hand but Tom quicky pulled it away. He didn’t want people to talk to him, or tell him he was overreacting, he needed to break everything around him, make the room as messy as his mind was.

“Oh please, take care of your own business.” He groaned between his teeth, turning his heels.

But Robert wasn’t willing to let him get away, he grabbed Tom’s shoulder and made him turn to him once more, his jaw now also clenched. Robert walked closer to the father-to-be making him step back until he was caught up between the legend and the wall. “You’re my business, you always have been. Don’t make it like you only take advantage of it when it’s for good reasons. Now you calm down, and you stay polite. It’s not because you’re an adult now you can talk to people the way you want.”

Tom knew how it was wrong from him to have talked to Robert this way, but he couldn’t help himself. When he was angry, nothing remained under his control, he was mean to everyone and didn’t care being an absolute asshole. He looked away, still being pulled to the wall by the Iron Man who looked intimidating. “She’s pregnant. She didn’t even tell me.” Tom mood suddenly changed once these words fell off his mouth. Of course he was still angry, but his bottom lip started to shiver and he tried his best not to start crying. “I sould have been aware, Robert. I’m deeply concerned. It’s my baby.”

Harrison was back in the room, leaning against the door, he shared a worried look with Robert, and they both nodded. Without a word, they both knew what the other one had in mind. “You need to take a break and go home, Thomas.”

Tom’s heart broke hearing his full name coming from his best friend’s lips. He never called him that, never. “I can’t take a break, I’m Spider-Man.” Robert let go of Tom and he directly went to sit on his bed. “I’m tired of being away.”

Robert shook his head, the kid was being really selfish there. “You’re paying a small price compared with what she’s going through.” Tom nodded, making them think he finally understood. “Take a break, I’ll arrange everything with the directors.” And soon he was being driven to the airport.

The flight allowed Tom taking some time to think. He couldn’t get his mind off you and the big news, he wondered if he was really overreacting as Harrison and Robert were thinking. His head was a bomb ready to explode at any minute now, it refused to shut off. If he decided to open his social medias, he would be flooded by the newspapers articles, and all his fans freaking out about him being a father, or not having told them. Everyone knew how Tom was the master of telling everything to them, he’d make an instalive with a friend or you, and announce all he could. “Hey guys, I broke my nose.” “Yop fam, I’m filming Spider-Man 4.” “Guys, meet Hayley, Harrison’s girlfriend.” “Well hello guys, Y/N has burned the chicken so we’re going out.” Everything, fucking everything.

On his phone were also many, many notifications from you. After a few radio silence, you tried again to reach him, you wanted to talk to him to explain yourself again and again, not stopping until he’d understand why you did what you did. He never picked up. Tom’s mom also called him a few times, but still he didn’t picked up, he knew what it was all about, he knew she discovered it too. He felt dumber, everyone knew about the pregnancy before him : his fans, his family… Tom had always wanted to surprise everyone with such a big news, he had organized a plan in his head for it.

He would have invited his whole family for dinner, with Harrison but he was obviously part of the family since the beginning. Tom would have prepared his father’s favorite scotch , his mom favorite’s plate, the twins’ favorite dessert, and ice cream for Paddy. He would have made a toast before the dessert, raising his hand with a glass of champagne, the bubbles of the adult dinners. “Mom, dad. You parenting had always making me want to start a family. You loved us so much I wanted to experience it myself, and I couldn’t be happier that the woman I’m going to have a family with is Y/N. And I’d like to thank you for everything that you have both done for me, for each one of us actually. You’re the best family I know, and I’m now picking up the torch, since, well… Y/N’s pregnant.”

Tom groaned at this thought. His first child, their first grandchild, and it was spilled out this way. What about the romantic ways of living, what about the non exposed life he wanted to have ? He clenched his fists again. A few more hours before landing in London, God. He sighed seing his lockscreen, a photo of you and he, of course, cuddling. He remembered Harry taking that picture, standing by a fire a couple months ago in your backyard. It was a lovely memory, where no one dropped the steaks into the flames, and you all played music and sang. Far away from the pressure you were all living with, happiness wrapping everyone.

Tom turned his head and looked at the sky through the window. It was blue, unlike is grey mind. Under was those unknowns, he wondered how many of them had pregnant wives, how many of them were living away from their family, how many of them were alone. “Fuck !” He mumbled, and the mother sitting beside him furrowed her eyebrows, hoping her son didn’t hear the swear word. Tom pinched his lips, was he already a bad father ? “I’m sorry…” He murmured looking down.

It took a few hours to finally arrive to London, and Tom had called his mom to pick him up and drive him home. The first thing he did when he finally saw her was crying. “Mom !” He yelled running into her arms. He suddenly was the little boy, again, the teenager who had no real strenght to face life without getting help. Nothing else came through his mouth after this simple word, and Nikki took it from here.

“I know baby…” Her fingers were going through his fresh cut curls, she put her head on his shoulder, a calm voice accompanying her moves. “It’s not the end of the world, darling. It’s nothing. You know how she is, you know she didn’t mean bad.” He nodded as a response. “You want to go see her ? I mean, I’m not forcing you, you go when you’re ready, but you go anyways.”

The new little boy pulled out his mother’s arms from his neck and rubbed his swollen eyes full of tears. “I want to see dad, and the guys before.”

In the car, there was no sound, no voice talking, just the radio playing some songs sometimes way too happy for Tom’s mood. He was looking outside at the landscape, urban life, trying not to think of you, but there were no way he could nail it. No way.

Once home, everything remained silent however everyone was home, they were all standing in the living room, staring at Tom. They waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. So Dom took the talk. “I’m happy you’re home, son.”

And he couldn’t help but start to cry again. Sam was the first one to run to him, wrapping his body around his arms. When was the last time he had seen him in such a bad state ? “Fuck Tom, I’m going to be an uncle, you’ll be a father. You should be proud of you.”

“Things are not that simple, buddy.” He sighed, pulling his tears off.

Harry was the one who seemed the more mad at his brother. His jaw was clenched and he anxiously played with his fingers. “You’re screwing everything again !” He admitted. Dom was willing to take the talk again but Harry wouldn’t let him, he wasn’t done. “She’s done it for you, and you can’t even understand that ! You’re litterally all she has ! Do you know how alone she feels when you’re gone, do you know how sad she becomes ? Sometimes you only see your own needs, she’s your fucking wife !” Sam stepped back, letting Tom who looked down to what his brother said. It was harsh, but he knew Harry was right. “Do you know I check on her every week, to cheer her up, to let her know she’s not useless ? You want me to sum you up her days ? She goes to work, then she comes home, she sleeps and everything starts again. I have to force her to go out with me, she’s always so… empty. And she tells you nothing because she doesn’t want you to worry, she wants you to fucking focus on your fucking job ! You can’t even understand all this little things she does for you.”

Paddy didn’t say anything, he left just after Harry’s monologue. He didn’t really want to publicly take a side on this war, he wanted everybody to be happy. He ran up the stairs and no one heard from him before the day after. Harry’s face was red, meanwhile Sam was taken aback. “Hey, let him breathe a little, it’s hard for both of them. When he’s far from her, she’s far from him too.” Sam tried to defend his older brother.

All Tom could do again was crying, it seemed he was perfect at the job recently, a little too much. “Stop it, don’t fight ! I don’t wanna provoke any family war.” He passed his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself but he exploded in a throb. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” He finally admitted. “Everyone keeps yelling at me, they keep reminding me I’m the bad person. I don’t wanna be the bad person.”

Dom got up and reached his son’s shoulder putting his hand on it. He had tears in his eyes seeing his love crying. “If you wanna do good, Thomas, you need to go see her instead of staying here with us. It’s between you two, we’ll be here supporting whatever you’ll decide.” Harry glanced at his father, he wouldn’t support anything going against his ideas. No one answered, Tom nodded and Dom took him outside to drive him home.

You didn’t know Tom was back in England, you didn’t know he was on his way to see you, all you knew was he wasn’t answering any text or phone call. You were on your bed, and you haven’t eaten at midday, you couldn’t. You knew it was bad, but you just had lost appetite. You closed your eyes hearing someone ringing at the door, you ddin’t want to get up from your bed but you knew you had too, you needed to check who was there at least. But you hadn’t reach the front door, you heard a key opening it. “I’m home.” Said a voice lightly. A very recognizable voice.

Your heart dropped, you ran to the hall and there he was, with red puffy eyes right through yours. “I thought… I-I thought you… You were in Ca-california.” You had trouble saying. Fuck, you wanted to go into him and cuddle for a hundred years, but you were afraid of how he would react. When he was angry, he didn’t want any physical contact and would repulse your tryings.

“I’m home.” He repeated. He then put his keys on the dresser and pressed his lips together. He didn’t really know what to say, but he knew he had to talk before you’d do it, or else he’d break and give up. “This was the one time too many.” Suddenly your heart seemed to want to get out of your chest, it was beating so fast cause you were afraid, afraid of what he would say next. “I can’t- I can’t bear it anymore, Y/N. You can’t hide things from me, I need to be aware of these things as soon as possible, I need you to fucking consider me !” He took a pause, putting his hands over his face to rub his eyes. “I’m your husband, and we’re together for better or for worse, remember that ?! You said ‘I do’, Y/N, you said 'I do’, you know what that means ! That means we’re supposed to be a team, that means you tell me everything, that means I have to be here for you !” The more he talked, the more he yelled. You haven’t move from you spot, and you were now happy you didn’t come close to him, even if he wasn’t abusive when he was angry, you couldn’t face anger. “Answer me, do you remember that ?!”

Tears were widely falling from your eyes you could barely see around you, blurred vision. You nodded, of course you remembered what being husband and wife meant, but sometimes life was tougher than you expected, sometimes it was hard to live alone having a travelling husband doing God knew what. “Y-yeah, Tom, I re-remember. I’m sorry, I-I know I should have to-told you but… It-it never felt like, like the right time.” You sobbed. He shook his head and clenched his jaw. “Tom, don’t be mad, please honey, please, I just need a hug, I need support and love. I don’t want to get into a fight.”

“And I needed you to be honest.” He walked past you and entered the bedroom, slamming the door and making you jump. What did you do, why did it seem like you had the super-power to create drama in your marriage.

You put your hand on your belly, it had already grown a little since the beginning of the pregnancy, and you liked this new baby bump. The only idea you got to calm Tom down was taking your, well or his, shirt off. There were already few stretch marks on your skin, so you also took off your pants for Tom to see it all. You went in the bedroom half naked, Tom immeditely raising his head to see you. He didn’t pay attention at the changes of your body at first, too angry to think straight. “What ? You think we’re going to clear it by having sex ? It’s not happening, Y/N, you should put some clothes on.”

“No…” You answered, getting closer until you jumped on his lap. He went to get you off him but stopped when he understood, when he saw the magic happening in your body. His gaze was now fully focused on your belly, and he couldn’t help but put his hand on it. His warm touch felt warm, home. It had been a long time since you last touched his skin, you missed it more than you thought. “Meet our baby, Tom. Say hi.” And he started crying again, but this time it wasn’t from anger, nor sadness. This time, it was different, this time he understood what being a father was, he was able to be close to his child, almost touching him thanks to you. You put your arms around his neck. “Please, babe, forgive me.” You murmured. “I know… I know I’m not perfect, but I’m really trying my best. I don’t wanna be a needy wife who can’t male it without her husband, I know I fucked up real bad this time, more than I’ve ever had, but I’m really trying here, it’s been hard without you.” One of your hands came to Tom’s cheek and you started rubbing his cheek with your thumb. Your eyes locked on his, you both could feel all the mix of joy and sadness you shared, you felt connected again. “We’re gonna have to talk about too many serious things, but the first one I want to talk about is me quiting so I can always be with you, what do you think ?”

He nodded, leaning in for a chaste kiss. His hand couldn’t get away from your baby bump, and you were happy he seemed softer now he had seen it. “I love the idea, but I thought you didn’t want to quit…”

You shrugged. “I changed my mind. Everything will be different, now. I’ll come with you til the end of the pregnancy, but then I’ll be forced to give birth in England, and stay here a while, newborns can’t travel, and… And then when he or she will go to school… I mean, same, I won’t be able to travel with you anymore. Let’s take the few months we have left.”

Tom nodded, and kissed you once again, in a rougher manner. He couldn’t admit it, but he was still heart broken, he realised that, in a few months, not only would he be away from his wife, but from his kid too. He already felt like he abandoned them. “I promise you Y/N, when our little love will be born, I’ll work less, I’ll be there for you.”

Then there was silence. In the room, it was just two parents-to-be sharing looks of love and complicity. After all this time separated, it felt like a reborn through the unborn.


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