Is it strange that i internally recoil/get mildly triggered when i see men with the same body type and hair style as my attacker? i don't want to judge anyone, and i hate that i find it hard to be friends with a guy if he has the same look, i feel really judgemental and want to get past the initial recoil i get when i see these kinds of guys
It is not strange at all. It’s very common for people to be triggered by someone who looks like their attackers in some way. Your body remembers the trauma it went through and is trying to protect itself from future attacks by instinctively reacting to what you have learned can be indicators of danger. Unfortunately our instincts are not always so nuanced as to be able to understand the difference between someone who looks like an attacker versus someone who actually is.
First of all, if you feel you can’t be friends with someone because they look like your attacker, that is perfectly okay. It doesn’t matter if they’re the best person in the world; if you aren’t comfortable with them, even if it has nothing to do with who they are, you don’t have to be around them. Being triggered is a perfectly valid reason to not want to be around someone or something.
That said, it’s also okay to want to push past that and reduce your trigger response. This site has some tips (starting at “Step 2″) on anticipating and dealing with triggers as they come. I would especially focus on grounding techniques to help you stay in the present and make you less likely to continue associating things with the past.
Self-talk can also be a help in this instance. When you see someone who looks like your attacker, instead of avoiding thinking about being triggered and attempting to push it back, let yourself feel what you need to feel. Talk to yourself like you would a friend going through the same thing. Remind yourself of the ways in which you are safe and in control. Ask yourself- and it sounds like you’ve already been doing this- what exactly it is about the person that reminds you of your attacker, and then logically explain to yourself why that is or isn’t an indication of how safe you are around them. This isn’t something that will work 100% right away; these messages take time and repetition to sink in, but they can eventually get through to your baser instincts.
It sounds like you are making a big effort to be open-minded and recognize each person for the individual that they are. You can’t help your initial feelings and it doesn’t mean you’re being inconsiderate to others. The healing process is different for everyone; be patient with yourself if it takes time. Take things at the pace that works best for you. I hope this helps- our inbox is always open if you need us.
Ok, real talk. Dont feel personally attacked. This is your blog and you can post whatever you want. Some of the pics you reblog only have the joke of "this is a meme". They arent creative, pretty, thoughtprovoking or funny.
i don't know if you do this kind of thing,,but do you have any klance headcanons? i desperately need more klance in my life
this is it. this is my moment. well, my dude, you have come to the right place. get ready bc this is going to get very very very klance-y
keith, being the touch-starved emo alien cat that he is, has these moments where he just,,wraps his arms around an unsuspecting victim and just lays there. sometimes for hours. (read:lance is usually said unsuspecting victim)
“you do realize there’s a drill going on right now, right?” “shut up and hold me.”
during training, they try so hard to one-up each-other that they end up passing out from exhaustion
“keith, keith, keith, show them the thing!” “blep.” “oh my gOD-”
maybe blep will be our always
lance is always walking around the castle shirtless in the morning, the reason being keith is always taking damn shirts and never giving them back
“lance, where are your clothes?” “idk ask keith.”
regardless of height, lance is always the little spoon. always. forever. don’t question it.
the castle went under maintenance once, and keith was forced to share a room with lance. needless to say, even after his room was finished, keith never left
lance gives off a lot of body heat, which makes him the perfect person to cuddle with, especially for keith, whose about as warm as a box of penguins (aka cold af someone gives this boy a jacket or smth)
also, since lance is always so goddamn warm, he and keith don’t even need blankets when they sleep together
did i mention keith was a closet meme
*lance is about to do something reckless with his lion* “hoe don’t do it-” *lance does it* “oh my god.”
“this is, as you Earth people say, lit?” “say lit one more time.”
lance loves his meme bf
keith knows that lance is Disgusted by his texan accent, so he makes it a point to slip into it just to annoy the hell out him
“hey y’all, what do-” “nonono keith ily but shUT YOUR QUIZNAK.”
pineapple on pizza discourse
“lance i swear to god if you eat that i will never kiss you again”
lance does it anyways
the Bonding Moment is an inside joke of theirs
“Hey Keith?” “Lance it’s like 2 in the morning what do you want?” “Do you think Vrepit Sa stands for Dicks Out for Zarkon?”
Damian as a college student: My college had an orientation weekend for all the
freshmen, which is pretty common as far as I’m aware, but it pretty much felt
like summer camp for 400 some freshmen with like 100 upperclassmen running
things and I just couldn’t help thinking of what Damian would have done and
ended up writing this drabble.
everyone, I’m Hannah your O-group leader and I’d like to welcome you all to
your first semester! So what we’re going to do is some get to know you games.
First though how about we just go around the circle and say our name, where we’re
from, and one fun fact about ourselves. So my name’s Hannah, I’m from Coast
City and I spent the summer working as an intern at Ferris Air.”
continues to go around the circle and Damian learns his classmates play an
array of sports and instruments, won various awards, and come from all over the
country. By the time it gets to be his turn he has no suitable fun fact that wouldn’t
compromise his identity.
My name is Damian Wayne, I am from Gotham City and I-” am Robin, was trained to be an assassin since birth, have died and come
back, count metas and a kryptonian as my best friends, I’ve led the teen
titans, have been to space multiple times… “have a small wildlife preserve
at my house. It includes a cow, some horses, dogs, cats, a turkey, and some more
introductions conclude and they move onto the next game, something called the
Great Wind Blows. The whole circle stands and one person enters the middle,
they say something about themselves and whoever else that applies to must run to
another spot in the circle, the last one still moving ends up in the middle
next. -tt- This is ridiculous. What could
any of these people possibly have in common with myself. The first person
is a girl who introduces herself as Joan and then she recites her fact as per
the rules, “The great wind blows if you… have an adopted sibling!” Damian moves
into the center of the circle, slightly in shock. Joan takes his spot and no
one else has moved.
both have an adopted sibling?” Hannah asks kindly, trying to encourage them to
little sister, her name’s Emma. My parents adopted her when she was still a
baby and I was four but I love her to pieces.”
gulps and stares at his classmates, “I have four adopted siblings actually,
three older brothers and an older sister. Um, Richard, Jason, Timothy, and
Cassandra.” Hannah smiles and nods at him and he realizes this is his cue to
continue the game. “I’m Damian and the great wind blows if…” you are a black belt in at least one martial
art, know how to fence, speak more than three languages fluently, regularly
travel across the country… “you spend your summer on a farm or at summer
a few other teens shuffle around and whoever moved must once again explain how
it applies to them. A lot work as summer camp counselors but two others explain
they spend summers on their grandparent’s farm or uncle’s vineyard. “A family
friend is from Smallville, Kansas and his parents’ have myself, their grandson
and a few other friends come stay for parts of the summer on their farm.”
is surprised to find himself moving around the circle to things like “have a
dog”, “have a black belt”, “rides horses”, “watch Disney movie marathons with
friends”, “have inside jokes with your siblings”, “regularly prank another
member of your family”, “one or more of your best friends live in another state”.
was the most surprising was “have met a superhero”, since Hannah thought this
was interesting and practically everyone moved she had them all go around and
say which hero, herself having run into different Green Lanterns during her
life in Coast City. A lot were “Superman” or “the Flash” two excitedly said
they had both met Wonder Woman and Black Canary which prompted a side
conversation that needed to be reeled back in.
got around to Damian who grimaced, scrunched his eyes shut, and began listing
as fast as he could, “Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Oracle, Red Hood, Black Bat,
Batgirl, Red Robin, Abuse, Superman, both Superboys, the Flash, Kid Flash,
Impulse, Arsenal, Green Arrow, Speedy, Black Canary, Catwoman, Huntress, Wonder
Woman, Troia, Wonder Girl, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Blue
Beetle, Supergirl, Stargirl, Doctor Midnight, Wildcat, Mister Terrific,
Ravager, Tempest, Aquaman, Doctor Fate, Raven, Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg and
I’m positive there’s some I’m missing…” He opened his eyes to see the rest of
the group staring at him in shock, mouths slack. He tried reclaiming an air of
nonchalance, “My father funds Batman Inc. Over the years I have met some rather
interesting people thanks to that.”
boy gave a low whistle, “Dude. You have got to tell me what it’s like meeting
Batman.” Damian just smirked as they moved on.