Your boyfriend shifts around a little, unable to sleep. It’s 3am and he’s exhausted, but he just can’t seem to get comfortable. He rolls over and pulls you against him for cuddles, and you stir only a little, murmuring goodnight as you shift further into his arms. Unluckily for him, that means your ass is pressed right u against his hardening length. He tries not to think about it but he tenses up beside you, suddenly feeling his boxers tighten more and more as his mind wander even further.
could you please do a Stan x Tozier! Reader where the reader has a stutter like Bill and Stan promises to never make fun of her for it but they get in a fight and he brings it up? you can choose the ending! thanks!!
I LOVE ANGST THANKS. too aggressive? sorry, aha. but angst is my strong suit so i hope you enjoy!
“these are my friends, bill and stan. bill over here has a stutter, just like you y/n. guys, this is my sister, y/n,” richie pushes you towards them and you kept looking down at your shoes. they’re dirty and a bit battered but it was fine.
“h-hi, i-i’m b-b-bill,” bill held his hand out to you and you gave it a light shake as you finally looked up at him.
“i-i’m y-y/n,” your voice was small, barely audible. stan stepped forward and shook your hand, too.
“i’m stan. i don’t have a stutter but you seem cool, so i’ll be your friend, too,” he smiled and you laughed, an angelic sound to stan’s ears.
“c-cool, i g-guess,” you say, a bit shaky.
“here, to prove my loyalty, i’ll make a promise with you,” stan held his pinky to it and nodded his head at you to his pinky and you quickly lace yours with his, “i promise to never make fun of your stutter. i even pinky promise, which i never do.”
“i a-ac-accept your promise,” you smile and let go of his pinky.
“repeat after me y/n: ‘the chocolate chip cookies smelled so good that I ate one without asking.’ come on,” richie waved his hand at you to signal you to speak. you sighed and tried to remember the phrase he just said.
“the ch-chocolate chip c-cookies sm-smelled- f-fuck! s-sorry r-richie, i j-just c-can’t d-do it!” you groan and laid back on the couch.
“it’s okay, y/n. just go a little slower this time, okay?” richie tried to coax but you were already so impatient and you had to meet stand in a little bit.
“i g-got t-to g-go r-richie. i-i’m m-meeting s-st-stan a-at th=the p-park t-today,” you go to slip on your jacket and richie puts up the flashcards.
“okay y/n. if he stands you up again, i’ll beat his ass,” richie slapped his hand against his fist but he had a smirk on his face, nothing serious, as always. being his little sister was a burden and a blessing because of his gentleness but damn, was he overprotective.
“o-okay r-richie, s-see y-you l-later,” you shake your head and go out the door, making your way to the park. once you got there, you took a seat on the bench you and stan agreed to meet by and waited for him to come.
you were shaking your leg up and down, looking around for any sign of him. the chilly october wind was nipping at your skin, your teeth chattering together. you and stan have made plans to hang out three days ago and he always stood you up and rescheduled it. you were actually growing tired of it but you always agreed. love always has compromises, right?
you slammed the door of your house and hung your jacket on the coat rack. you stormed your way into your shared room with richie and slammed its door, too. you waited for two hours at the park and you probably walked around twice around its entirety. you flopped down on your bed, burying your face into your pillow.
“again, huh?” richie asked, not looking up from his comic book.
“y-yeah,” you croaked out, your voice rising eight octaves higher. you felt the bed dip and arms pulling you upright.
“are you crying?” richie took your face in his hands, looking into your eyes. “you are!”
“n-no, i-i’m n-not!” you wrangle your face out of his hand and looked down at your lap, feeling tears burn their way into your eyes. “o-okay, i a-am.”
richie pulled you in and rubbed your back, “i’m going to beat stan into a pulp and stomp on his stupid face,” he cooed, making his voice as sing-songy as possible. “but why are you crying?”
“b-b-because i f-feel l-like h-he do-doesn’t e-even w-want m-me an-anymore,” you sniffle, pulling away from richie, “h-he w-wo-wouldn’t st-stand m-me u-up th-thrice i-if h-he st-still l-liked m-me.”
“don’t think like that, y/n. any boy would be fucking lucky to have you and if anybody disagrees, i’ll make them think otherwise,” richie put his hand on your shoulder and you simply glanced at it.
“th-thanks ri-richie b-but i-i’m j-just g-going to g-go to sl-sleep,” you sigh and lay down, pulling the covers over your head. you could feel richie get up from your bed and he turned off the lights. you felt tears run down your cheeks again, your mind racing with thoughts that pierced your heart even deeper.
why does it hurt this bad?
the next day, you were at the grocery store, picking up stuff at the order of your mom. you place the items in your basket and walked around, looking for some things you could add. you stroll down to the chips and candy aisle, grabbing two bags of chips and a bag of chocolate. as you were walking out of the aisle, you heard your name called.
“y/n!” you turned around and saw stan speed walking over to you. “hey, sorry i couldn’t make it yesterday.”
“i-it’s f-fine,” you uttered and turned around, heading for the checkout line.
“wait!” stan ran to catch up to you and followed you. “want to hang out later?”
“no.” you simply said and placed your items on the conveyor belt, pulling out the money your mom gave you.
“no? why not?”
“b-because i d-don’t w-want t-to, i-isn’t th-that ob-obvious?” you sassed and gave the cashier your money, grabbing your bags and walked away, not even bothering to get your change. you walk quickly, trying to leave stan behind.
“y/n! stop walking so fast!” you ignored his calls and kept walking, trying to ignore the familiar prick of tears. “y/n, stop!” stan grabbed your arm and spun you around.
“w-what?” you sneer and you saw stan furrow his eyebrows.
“why are you so mad?” stan’s face scrunched up and you felt fists clench around the plastic bags.
“m-maybe be-because y-you s-stood m-me u-up n-not o-one, n-not t-two, b-but f-f-four t-times! f-four, s-s-stanley!” you barked at him.
“yeah and i apologized for each time!” stan argued back but you let out a dry laugh.
“n-no, y-you k-kn-know h-how i f-felt af-after the f-fourth t-time?” you snapped.
“i f-fu-fucking f-felt l-like i w-wasn’t g-good e-enough!” you jabbed his chest a bit, pushing him back.
“o-over-rreacting? wh-what th-the f-fuck?” you couldn’t believe what he was saying. “i a-am n-not! i h-have a f-fucking s-stutter! i g-get ma-made f-fun o-of a-and i f-feel l-like sh-shit e-everyday! h-how w-was i s-supposed t-to f-feel? j-jolly?”
then he said it. the words that brought your walls down, the words that unleased your tears from your eyes. the words that violated a fucking promise.
“well maybe i don’t want to deal with a stuttering girl all day! maybe i want to hear normal people speak normally!”
to say it fucking hurt was an understatement. “f-fuck y-you, st-stanley u-uris.”
stan regretted his words the moment it left his mouth and he even slapped his hand over it. “y/n, no, i didn’t mean that-”
“n-no! t-too l-late! i-if you hate m-my st-stutter s-so m-much, i’ll h-help y-you! it’s over.” you snarl and ran off, heaps of tears running down your face, your breathing becoming heavy as you felt your windpipe tighten. his words repeated over and over in your head. once you got home, you threw the groceries on the table and ran to your room, not even making it to your bed. you slid down the wall and sobbed. you sobbed until your chest ached, you sobbed until it was physically impossible to let out anymore tears.
fuck stanley uris. fuck him and his stupid curls. fuck him and his wonderful smile. fuck him and his bad jokes. fuck him and fuck me for still loving him.
days passed and you haven’t gone out the house. you even skipped the last three of school. all day, you laid in bed, only getting up to get food or use the bathroom. you had dark circles under your already red, puffy eyes, your hair was a mess and tissues littered your room.
richie found you that day in the room and vowed to kill stan before you calmed him down. he was the one who actually suggested you stayed home from school. he got your schoolwork for you and made sure you were clean everyday. talk all the shit you want about richie but he was the best brother you could ask for.
when the weekend came along, you knew you had to face the outside world somehow and you told richie you were going to go to the quarry to clear your mind. you hopped on your bike and pedaled all the way there. you walked your way to the edge of the cliff and sat down, letting your legs hang off.
you sat there for awhile, gazing into the blue-grey waters below. you contemplated on what you would do if you saw stan again. punch him? hug him? beat him up? all three, maybe? you didn’t know. you were still incredibly hurt and just the thought of stan was enough to make tears stream down your face. you constantly had to drag your sleeve across your face to wipe away the tears but they still kept on coming.
“y/n?” you turned around and to where the soft, whisper of a voice came from and saw stan standing there, binoculars around his neck, and a small rose in his hand. “richie told me you would be here.”
“oh,” you said, turning back around. you had to take deep breaths and wipe away any sign that you were crying. toziers don’t cry in front of people, that’s a fact. you felt stan sit beside you and you felt his gaze pierce the side of your head.
“s-s-stop s-s-staring, y-you c-creep,” you mumble, trying to fill the awkward silence. “wh-why a-are y-you e-even h-here? i th-thought y-you w-wanted t-to b-be w-with n-normal p-people.”
“i’m here because i’m a stupid jerk who doesn’t deserve you but is truly, truly sorry,” stan handed you the rose and you reluctantly held it your hand, twirling it around. “i know you don’t like roses but it was the first flower i saw.”
“y/n, i’m sorry. what i said was out of line and before you say it, yes i did go against that ancient promise. you can punch me now,” stan rambled but you kept your silence, just picking at the rose’s red petals. “please y/n, say something.”
“i h-hate y-you, st-stan. i f-f-fucking h-hate y-you and wh-what you s-s-said,” you drop the rose beside you and came face-to-face with him and his hurt expression, which drove a stake through your heart. “i f-f-fucking h-hate th-that i l-let y-you m-make me f-feel l-like i w-wasn’t e-enough, l-like i’m n-not n-n-normal.”
hot tears were quickly falling down your cheeks and your voice was becoming shakier by the second. “i f-fucking h-hate y-you b-but m-most o-of a-all, i h-hate my-myself. i h-hate m-myself b-because i c-can’t s-seem to k-keep h-hating y-you. i h-hate th-that th-through a-all th-this, i st-still l-love you.”
you broke down into sobs right after the last word left your lips. you felt tired, mentally and physically. you didn’t fight off stan’s arms wrapping around you, you didn’t push him away as he rocked you back and forth, whispering apologies and sweet nothings into your hair.
“you’re right, y/n. you’re not normal. but not because you have a stutter, you’re not normal because you let a stupid person like me love you when you deserve much better,” stan murmured, his voice cracking. you pull away and examine his face, analyzing his features. he looked much like you but worse.
his dark circles were so pronounced like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep since that day, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy and his curls were looking much more untamed than usual. he’s broken just like you.
you looked into his eyes and rested your forehead against his. the silence between you was so heavy, it was suffocating. then, he kissed you. his lips melded so nicely with yours, his warm and yours cold. you pulled away and smiled.
“i really hope you don’t think everything is forgiven,” you breathed out, playing with his curls.
“i know and i’m willing to do whatever it takes to get to that point, no matter how long,” stan held your hand in his and you laced your pinky with his.
this is no new news but i even strongly believe yoongi can speak english well and that he’s just shy to say it coz he snitched on namjoon wtf?!?!?! “HE SAID UNCLE” WTF HAHAHAHAA U LIL SHIT!!!!! and his pronunciation of certain words were top form!!!
oh its trans day of remembrance im dumb as hell uhh uh remember that trans link if u misgender him he gon beat ur ass he dont care whom u are n if u invalidate his sexuality bc of his being trans hes just gonna break your jaw
ANYWAY ! body headcanon stuff for t.oshi, courtesy of a friend of mine who drew this ! u can see that his left boob is kinda Sad bc of his injury in both forms, and when he’s big might, his chest just looks like pecs !