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caught (part two)

name: caught 2/?


pairing: Joker x Reader
summary: A continue of: Unimpressed with the joker and his absence; Reader turns to one night stands to pass the time. 
warnings: swearing, yelling, aggressive, sexual tension/suggestions

“honey, I’m home!” The joker laughter erupted as he enter the apartment, throwing his hands in the air and destroying the peace you were enjoying.
Henchman were close behind him and they all quickly scanned the room for threats.

“you should try knocking” You responding without looking up from your phone.

J quickly took in your appearance, studying your exposed legs and ruffled hair. His eyes darkened as he processed your display.

“Princess, I don’t like to be ignored” he growled; slowly approaching you.

“neither do I” you rolled your eyes; finally glanced up from you’re phone. His goons were clearly uncomfortable with the situation. If the looked at you in the wrong place; they would be dead meat; which was hard with your little clothing of a push up bra and boxers.

J was close now, he slid his hands on either side of the countertop, trapping you. You were still taller then him because of the counter top height, yet he seemed to tower over you.

To say he was pissed, was an understatement.

He motioned for the henchman to go down the hall towards the bedroom where your previous boy toy was. His eyes never left yours as he ordered the death of the helpless man.

“maybe I liked him” you smirked, referring to the annoying man from who you used only for sex.

“hmm, is that right princess? well maybe I don’t give a fuck.” Aggression was rolling off him in waves as he bared him teeth like an animal. “Tell me, kitten, what’s his name? Just another little Friend from last night?” He had closed any remaining space between us by now, but his intimidating glare remained.

“To be honest with you Puddin, I have no idea” you smiled.

“so what were you moaning a few hours ago, babygirl?” his month was right night to your ear, whispering. “or were you thinking about me, baby? Did I never leave you mind? did you wish it was me, because you know I could’ve done it better.” he purred into your ear.

Whatever you had thought to be funny from a few minutes ago, had vanished. You weren’t able to put up you’re unintimidated act when he was this close, and he knew that.

His hand crept up your thigh and the other wrapped around your back.

“such a naughty girl,” he said, slipping his hand under your thigh. “whatever will I do with you” His teeth grazed your ear and your eyes fluttered closed. “Can I not leave you alone for a day? hmm?”

“apparently not” I leaned back, looking into his eyes. “I don’t like to be kept waiting, daddy”

“Clearly” he huffed, rolling his eyes. He leaned back a little but still had you trapped.

“Aw baby,” you pouted, amused with the power you held. “Do you not like me with other men? Do you not like how they lust at me? or how they touch m-”

“shut the fuck up!” he screamed. He pushed himself further away from you, too scared of what he may do. Whatever playful atmosphere you created had vanished. His breath increased and his eyes darkened. He took another step away from you to quickly pace the floor. His hand quickly swept through his vibrant green hair and before you could flinch his gun was out and he shot at the expensive condo. His anger was toxic and beginning to bubbling over into calmness. He paused, and turned on his heal towards you. Fuck. I was screwed

“baby…” an eerie grin spread across his face, “you cost a lot of people their life’s tonight,” he stalked towards you. it almost scared you, as you pulls your dangling feet up onto the counter. “it wasn’t easy to find you, although it never is” he laughed. “and when a henchman told me that my little y/n was at the club but had left with, with some douchbag,” his temper was running thin as he remembered the events that happened hours ago. “oh, I was Pissed, darling. and when daddy gets mad, people fucking die!” his voice had risen into a loud scream. He was so close that you could feel his breath.

“So how about, you hold my hand and get into my car without so much of another smart-ass remark, and maybe, just maybe, I won’t kill everyone you love.”

Every part of you wanted to spit in his face to tell him no. Your ego was screaming at you to reject his offer and storm away claiming you were independent.

But you knew you would end up leaving with him, so you might as well chose the best option that didn’t get everyone ruthlessly murdered.

You didn’t trust your words, so you simply nodded your head.

“good girl” he purred into your ear, helping you down from the counter.

As to why I ship Karasuma and Gakuho...

Because they’re funny together.

I don’t really know, actually. Maybe it’s because they both spend way too much time working, they’re both harsh teachers, and they have that weird demonic boss and disgruntled employee dynamic I always like. They’d never start a relationship while working together because they’re both too professional for that.

Imagine they started going out because after the graduation ceremony Gakuho says, “Yo you done good as their teacher. Sorry for extorting billions of yen from u and making ur life for the past year a shitstorm can I make it up by taking u out to dinner?”

And then he buys a dog because he finds out that karasuma likes dogs and gakushu will name their tiny adorable fluffy yorkie Lucifer no matter the gender because he’s always wanted to name a pet after his father and karasuma will be like “wtf is wrong with u 2” (don’t get me started on the family dynamic these three weirdos can have)

Plus

This literal motherfucker is a licensed vegetable sommelier (and color coordinator and jumbo jet pilot but whatevs). In fact, I wouldn’t put it past him to be on par with the Totsuki Elite Ten.

Like, if these two superhumans teamed up in a Couples Battle Tournament they’d curbstomp every other pair (except for maybe Takaoka and Nidaime, that’s just scary, man). Brawn and brains, strongest man and smartest man. Boom. The best part is that when they have bed-breaking sex there’s no stupid seme and uke dynamic because they’d both compete for dominance (hc that Gakuho’s a badass sadomasochistic power bottom)

no but seriously imagine karasuma having to explain class e’s shenanigans??? what’s going on behind the scenes???

i even have a ship name its crackhoe

squad: *walking through the “empty” building*

enchantress’ army: *drops through the ceiling*

squad:

anonymous asked:

I'm not homophobic I just don't like Naruto and Sasuke being together and they're not because Sasuke loves Sakura, which is what the author of Naruto wrote! You can believe in whatever gross stuff but SasuSaku is actually what happened. And because of that they could have a child which is what Sasuke wanted because the Sharingan. Facts.

“I’m not homophobic (…) You can believe in whatever gross stuff (…)”

Ok

“I don’t like Naruto and Sasuke being together.”

You don’t have to.

“They are not together because Sasuke loves Sakura, which is what the author of Naruto wrote!”

I don’t think Sasuke loves Sakura. That’s my word against your word. You see, if you make a claim, you should put every effort into supporting said claim by providing sufficient ground for your conclusion; you didn’t and thusly is it weak and not worth rebutting. Furthermore, it doesn’t matter what Kishimoto wrote because it 

a) doesn’t make their relationship more believable, and 

b) authorial intent is not of importance anymore since it long lost its original sense.

“SasuSaku is actually what happened.”

I didn’t deny that. You are creating here a straw man fallacy and arguing against a position I never made to have an easier time attacking me. SasuSaku could have on-screen sex, and I still wouldn’t like the ship. Not only that, but I also wouldn’t suddenly start thinking Sasuke loves Sakura.

“That’s why they could have a child, which is what Sasuke wanted because of the Sharingan. Facts.”

Yeah, no. Nice non sequitur. People usually use such a fallacy for comedic purposes because of its lack of meaning relative to what preceded it. Your entire statement seems absurd to the point of being humourous.

So, according to you, Sarada is Sasuke’s child since Sasuke is in a relationship with Sakura? Makes sense. Unfortunately, there is still the possibility of Karin being Sarada’s real mother. As I mentioned already many times before, certain cues and hints suggest Karin is Sarada’s mother. For instance, Karin keeps the umbilical cord. Now, Sakura gave Karin apparently the umbilical cord; however, it’s important to take the cultural subtext into consideration.

A non-Japanese person would most likely miss it, but Japanese people know that Japanese mothers keep the umbilical cord as a form of traditional rite. They clean the umbilical cord for the mothers and put it in a special box to secure a healthy filial-maternal bond for the future. The box is called Kotobuki Bako. “Kotobuki” means celebration of marriage, new birth, and longevity, while “Bako” means box. It is said that the custom was invented by a woman who desired a special object for preserving memories. Facts.