$bulls

DAI Companions React To: My Immortal

So it’s late and Mod Katalyna, Mod Tiarne, and Mod Sarah were fucking around on Skype (again) and we questioned what would happen if the Inquisition companions somehow got access to My Immortal and then this happened. Mods Are Cray. Enjoy.

Cassandra: She’s disgusted and goes on about how awful it is and refers to it only as garbage. She’s found re-reading it inexplicably out of so much disgust she’s interested.

Blackwall: He laughs his ass off at it and tried to play the drinking game with Bull and passes out before the end of the third chapter.

Iron Bull: He laughs at every fucking word. He loves playing the drinking game with it and both he and Blackwall always end up with the worst hangovers after.

Sera: She thinks this is the funniest fucking thing in the world to her. She re-reads it and cackles every time, laughing so hard it echoes through Skyhold. She leaves snippets of it (the worst parts) in places as pranks (usually around Vivienne and Dorian, the tale’s worst critics) and quotes it ironically.

Varric: He’s full-on sobbing with laughter (silent laughter at some points), wheezing and clapping his hands like a walrus with glee. It takes tremendous effort and time to finish it because he’s pretty sure he’ll stop breathing if he laughs any harder. He does dramatic readings in the tavern, often with Blackwall, Sera, and Bull among his audience, all sobbing with laughter.

Cole: He’s so confused by the different reactions to it and have no idea what’s going on. “Why does Ebony hate everyone? They just want to help.“ he asks. “Stop trying to analyze it, Cole!” everyone else tells him.

Dorian: One of two things could happen. Either he sets it on fire the second he understood what horror was before him, or he reads it, laughs, and gets drunk, and then burns it. Depends on how he’s feeling.

Solas: He takes one glance on the inside and tosses it up to Dorian, who he fully expects to burn it. He refuses to comment or acknowledge its existence.

Vivienne: Burns it and sends a very sternly worded letter to the author about their writing skills. She gets a response calling her a prep and is told to stop flaming.

Leliana: She hunts down every copy and destroys it. Her birds are trained to collect it and destroy it. Or just spontaneously shit on it.

Josephine: She refuses to comment. She could not remain composed if forced to comment. She has a lot of feelings about the fic but refuses to let them out because they’re all negative.

Cullen: He pretends it doesn’t exist and ignores any reference to it.

Krem: He reads it out of curiosity because Bull won’t stop laughing. He almost vomits at how bad it is.

CONFESSION:

I have this weird headcanon that Dorian and Rocky bumped into each other at the tavern, then high fived each other over their mustaches and sometimes they have drinks at the bar and rate the other Inquisition members with mustaches.
The funny part of this headcanon is Dorian thinks his mustache is the best while Rocky thinks his is the best  but they never tell each other that but nevertheless they have these indepth discussions over other people’s
mustaches discussing the good and the bad. 

Waves

Bull’s heartbeat is in his throat, clamoring its way up to his mouth to sit on his tongue. They’re just talking, but there’s something about the way Dorian tips his head back to look at him, all smiling eyes and teeth, focused like he’s the only man in the room.

Dorian stops swirling his water into a monsoon and lightly touches Bull’s forearm on the table while he laughs, giving credit where it’s due. Bull’s toes curl in boots hidden under the table, holding the tension he can’t show in his fist. He doesn’t want to fuck this up. Wherever they are now, it’s fragile. They’ve slept together twice, now, and tonight is looking promising. Ordinarily it would be the sex he was looking forward to, but tonight, it’s the company.

Dorian’s looking down into his glass, lashes nearly resting against his cheeks. “I hope I’m not keeping you from any other plans,” he says airily, eyes flicking up.

“My schedule usually clears out around mealtimes,” Bull returns smoothly. “You’re my only plans tonight.”

Dorian smiles too wide at first, then tames it into a smirk. “So this is less than chance? You actually had me penciled in?”

“You seem surprised.” Bull leans back in his chair and it creaks, not so much in protest as resignation. Taking advantage of his new position, he drapes an arm around the back of Dorian’s chair. It’s bold, yes, and could easily be misinterpreted, but Dorian doesn’t seem to mind. “I did say I’d see you at dinner, didn’t I?”

Gray eyes roll, but he’s still smiling. “See me, yes. We see everyone at dinner.”

“Dorian, you have a decent head on your shoulders, so I know you do this shit on purpose.”

“Was that a compliment or an accusation?”

“Yeah,” Bull laughs, lifting his fork with his free hand. Despite the twisting in his gut, he still has to eat to keep his strength up, and the menu tonight really isn’t too bad. Weeks ago, he would have labeled this stomach-wrenching feeling as sensible fear. Now, however, he realizes it isn’t self-preservation, but the same sort of nervous intimidation he used to feel as a young man addressing his superiors. He’s not sure what to make of that.

Dorian’s back is gradually sinking against his arm, the muscles relaxing like a wave. His mouth is open like he’s about to say something, but before he can say it, his hand knocks his glass over and spills its contents across the table.

He curses under his breath and Bull can see the tips of his ears reddening, but before Bull can even reach for a napkin, the situation is under control. Dorian has his hand cupped around the sprawling liquid, a barrier extended to the edges to contain it. The edges move closer together until the liquid is scooped into a bubble, picked up and dumped back into his glass.

“Useful,” Bull chirps, ignoring the sweat gathering in his palms and the fork still hovering by his mouth. “You, uh, want another?”

Dorian lifts the glass to his lips, raising his brows curiously. “Another what? My glass is still full.”

And the Iron Bull can’t help but laugh at that, the anxiety leaving him with each heave of his chest. Dorian’s resting against his arm again, seemingly unbothered by the jostling and laughter right in his ear, smiling to himself as if Bull can’t see it.

You know what literally never happens in tropical places like Qarinus, where the sky is normal and dark at night? You know what’s strange and alarming if you’ve never seen it before and are trudging through the snow after an arch-demon’s crushed your village like an anthill? 

The Aurora Borealis.

You know what’s kind of romantic once you get over the initial shock and listen to all these cold-immune southerners talk about how pretty it is? You know who’s even more of a closet romantic than Cassandra?

You know who might have a lot of Feelings if someone held his hand and told him the sky couldn’t hold a candle to him? Not Dorian Pavus, that’s for sure.

You know who’s totally not imagining doing that? The Iron Bull.

No, none of that is happening. What’s happening is Dorian is staring at the sky and Bull’s staring at Dorian, and when Dorian looks back at Bull– well now they’re just sort of staring at each other.

“Strange place, the South,” Dorian says quietly. There’s another curtain of light, just over the Iron Bull’s shoulder, but Dorian’s more interested in his expression. “Mother Giselle says it’s a sign from the Maker.”

“You don’t think so?”

“I’ve read about the Aurora. It’s an interaction between the Veil and–”

“I’ve read books too, Vint.”

“Oh.” Dorian flushes. “Of course, my apologies.”

“Never thought I’d see it, though.” Bull turns back to the sky and the waterfall of light. “Sure is something, isn’t it.”

Dorian’s the one to watch him now– the flicker of firelight on his face, the expression of gentle awe– “Indeed. I’m not sure there’s anything else like it in the world.”

anonymous asked:

This might be a hard one but please bare with me. Inquisition companions, advisors, and Morrigan (and Kieran if you can but if you can't that's fine) react to the Inquisitor who grew up in the streets and had to hide when they found food - like one day they open a closet or a cupboard and find the Inquisitor eating a pie?

Cassandra- She had been looking for the Inquisitor for some time already to no avail. Yet when she went into the kitchen and opened up a cabinet she nearly yelled at the sight of the Inquisitor in there with a half eaten pie. She demanded an explanation as to why and when they tell her that they had to live on the streets and hide when they found food she became sympathetic towards them. She had no idea. She does tell them that no one will take their food but makes a note to tell the others.

Varric- He had been looking for them to play a round of wicked grace but couldn’t find them. He went back to the tavern to get a drink and when he opened the closet containing the cups he was surprised to see the Inquisitor in there casually eating a pie. Of course he asks why, it’ll be an interesting story about the Inquisitor. He doesn’t expect them to say that they grew up on the streets and had to hide when they found food. Still he can’t help but chuckle at the situation especially if it’s a qunari Inquisitor who barely fits in the cupboard.

Solas- He had been looking for ingredients for a new potion he was developing. When he opened up the cabinet containing glass bottles he did not expect the Inquisitor there holding a pie and a fork. He pulls them out and demands for an explanation they tell him they grew up on the streets and would have to hide when they found food. It makes him realize how real they are and he thinks about his plans. He tells them that they don’t have to hide anymore.

Iron Bull- He figured something was up when they seemed to disappear whenever food was around. He never asks why though. That is, until he finds them in a cabinet with a half eaten pie. When he asks why they tell him. “Sometimes we’d have to do that,” he tells them, “you look away and next thing you know your foods gone. That won’t happen here though. Plenty for everyone.” He lets them be but buys them a drink later.

Dorian- Similar to Solas he had been working on a potion. He did not expect to see them in the closet eating a pie. He damn near has a heart attack and in Dorian style fashion makes it about him. He does ask why they were in the closet and they explain. He understands but thrills them they don’t need to do it anymore.

Vivienne- She had gone to her closest for a change of clothing. Only to see the Inquisitor among them. Eating a pie. She orders them to get out and demands for an explanation. When she hears about why and how everyday was a competition for food. She gets it but tells them that as Inquisitor they are called to higher things than hiding in closets when they have food.

Blackwall- He doesn’t find them in a closet but in a far corner of the barn. In almost scares him half to death but he calms down he asks why. (Insert story here.) He gets it. Having to hide like the others he says they don’t have to do it anymore.

Sera- She had been looking for them to do some pranks but couldn’t find them. When she goes to open a cabinet to get some of the things see needs she finds the Inquisitor sitting there eating a pie. She screams and startles them causing them to fall out of the cabinet. She asks why they were in there and they explain. (You know the drill by now.) She understands “I get it, yeah? I had to do the same as a kid. There’s no same in it.”

Cole- He’s the reason they had the pie honestly. He felt them longing for it. “Going hungry for days. Everyday a competition. Only the strong survive.” You don’t have to hide anymore but you can if you want. He often checks on them if they hide when they eat.

Josephine- They had a meeting with some noble but they were nowhere to be found. When she opens up a cabinet that contains the wine glasses she finds them and screams because she didn’t expect them there. The noble asks if everything is alright she plays it off as seeing a rat. They reschedule the meeting for a late date. She knew of the Inquisitors living conditions before the inquisition became a thing but she didn’t know they hid when they had food. She tells them they don’t need to hide anymore.

Leliana- She noticed how often the Inquisitor would disappear whenever food was around. She knew of their past and the struggles they encountered. She just doesn’t expect to find them in a closet one day with a mostly eaten pie. She leaves them be but tells them to see her later on that day. She tells them that there is no need to hide anymore. They know but they are so used to doing it

Cullen- He damn near has a heart attack when he sees them. Like Leliana and Josephine he knew of their past but explains they don’t need to hide anymore.

Morrigan: She never went hungry with her mother, but after the mirror was smashed she spent many an hour hoarding small treasures against a similar fate. If she stumbles onto the Inquisitor the witchs biting tongue is either still or uncharacteristically gentle, and she leaves them to their meal.

Keiran: With the innocence that most children possess the boy thinks nothing if this action, beyond that it is a grand idea to hide treats from his mother. Their open delight at the location and choice of snack charms even the wary Herald, and when Morrigan later finds them after a panicked search they are contentedly munching on pie.

Band of Brothers Headcanons

This something for Thirsty Thursday ;))

                    Hickey Headcanons

Richard Winters- He only leaves one at a time and makes sure you can cover it up my lord.

Lewis Nixon- Intertwines his fingers with yours and pins you up against the wall and leaves like 5 dark hickeys.

Carwood Lipton- He leaves them down your chest, right between your collarbones. That a way it’s easy for you to cover up but he can spot them when you’re switching in and out of uniform.

Denver “Bull” Randleman- He starts really soft and gentle and then he gets rougher and so much more passionate (not enough to hurt you).

Joe Toye- Drags his tongue all over your neck, his teeth will find old marks and he will leave like 20 on your neck I kid you not.

George Luz- He does it just to make you laugh and then a moan slips out and all hell breaks loose. He continues and continues until you’re a mess for him and he makes sure he has some so you can ‘match’ as he says.

Eugene Roe- He will literally leave a hickey in the shape of a heart don’t fight me on this.

Joseph Liebgott- Makes sure people can see them and he smirks, “yeah thaTS ALL MINE”. He takes his time, makes sure to make you whine.

Lynn “Buck” Compton- Will do it in the shape of a L so evERYONE KNOWS and they’re all like ‘ooookaY I see you Buck I see you, hold it down”.

Donald Malarkey- Very very faint little marks. He doesn’t want to get you into trouble but makes sure he can still tell their still there.

Warren “Skip” Muck- He’s so playful it starts off very jokingly and then he actually ends up leaving a few hickeys around your collarbone and you’re both like “oops lmao”

William “Bill” Guarnere- “I can do this duh pft” but he’s so nervous and ends up leaving small marks littered all around your neck in a mess.

Darrell “Shifty” Powers- He will literally ASK if he can give you hickeys like just to e sure and he does it closer to the back of your neck so you can hide it if you need to.

Frank Perconte- Does not give a shit, he leaves huge hickey marks like diagonally across your neck. You were gonna cover them up?? haha you can try.

Ronald Speirs- He leaves them on your thighs omg. Ron wants to be sure it’s something intimate just between the two of you. Besides, if the guys knew they would tease him endlessly.

Edward “Babe” Heffron- Leaves small hickeys but their super dark bc he swol and everyone calls him out and he just sits there like a tomato.

Chuck Grant- Will give you hickeys in front of people he wants to make sure everyone knows that you’re his.

Floyd Talbert- He makes a long trail of them down your neck some he spends more time on than others because he likes to create a ‘masterpiece’ that doof.

David Webster- You do it to get his attention and then he starts to get his revenge by doing it back and you’re both having a competition on who can give the other more.

Harry Welsh- A gentleman bean, hickeys aren’t his forte but when he does leave them he makes sure they don’t hurt you. He leaves them in places very hidden because it’s a secret just for the both of you.

10

2017 Australian Grand Prix second practice

01 44 Lewis Hamilton Mercedes 1’23.620 34
02 5 Sebastian Vettel Ferrari 1’24.167 0.547 35
03 77 Valtteri Bottas Mercedes 1’24.176 0.556 34
04 7 Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari 1’24.525 0.905 30
05 3 Daniel Ricciardo Red Bull-TAG Heuer 1’24.650 1.030 27
06 33 Max Verstappen Red Bull-TAG Heuer 1’25.013 1.393 8
07 55 Carlos Sainz Jnr Toro Rosso-Renault 1’25.084 1.464 34
08 8 Romain Grosjean Haas-Ferrari 1’25.436 1.816 29
09 27 Nico Hulkenberg Renault 1’25.478 1.858 36
10 26 Daniil Kvyat Toro Rosso-Renault 1’25.493 1.873 39
11 11 Sergio Perez Force India-Mercedes 1’25.591 1.971 35
12 14 Fernando Alonso McLaren-Honda 1’26.000 2.380 19
13 31 Esteban Ocon Force India-Mercedes 1’26.145 2.525 37
14 19 Felipe Massa Williams-Mercedes 1’26.331 2.711 6
15 9 Marcus Ericsson Sauber-Ferrari 1’26.498 2.878 29
16 18 Lance Stroll Williams-Mercedes 1’26.525 2.905 27
17 2 Stoffel Vandoorne McLaren-Honda 1’26.608 2.988 33
18 94 Pascal Wehrlein Sauber-Ferrari 1’26.919 3.299 30
19 20 Kevin Magnussen Haas-Ferrari 1’27.279 3.659 8
20 30 Jolyon Palmer Renault 1’27.549 3.929 4