The signs as I’ve known them
Aries : passionate about everything but nothing’s ever their fault even when it definitely is. If they aren’t the center of the attention then what even is the point of living. Tries to be cool but is actually just really mad about everything.
Taurus : goes from entirely in control and well grounded to a flying rage machine in a heartbeat, something of a straight shooter but isn’t afraid of getting too deep.
Gemini : either the sweetest person ever who will always be there for you or the embodiment of every bad sorority girl stereotype regardless of gender
Cancer : either they cry all the time and love all their friends with overwhelming passion, or do that but are terrified of anyone knowing they actually care about anything so layer it under 9 billion layers of cynicism and Grump™
Leo : shining star made of smiles, wants to be an intellectual and goes through phases of being exactly that but goes back to being Not Intellectual the minute they stop being serious then forget to go back for like a month
Virgo : sure they’re organized as heck but their opinion of themselves is 6 times higher than is probably appropriate though you can bet money they probably hate themselves because of latent issues from their childhood
Libra : happy fading into the background, great team player who’s always off in dreamland until their friend needs em at which point their emotional state can best be described as watching a tree grow from a seedling to a 50 foot tall redwood in the span of 4 seconds
Scorpio : isn’t actually dark/spooky/mysterious but try convincing them of that, the kind of person who will say they “just get people, you know?” even if they definitely do not get people, but hey their heart is in the right place it’s just usually five feet ahead of where it’s supposed to be
Sagittarius : the best to be around when they’re paying attention to you, the worst when they aren’t there, takes 9 years or 9 nanoseconds to text you back, hilarious and sociable, dissociating to. a different planet while still being able to sink a perfect shot in beer pong I don’t get it
Capricorn : so grounded they might be dead, if they’re a chick they’re the best friend ever and everyone should have one, if they’re a bro they’re a Bro™ who takes being a manly, Good Friend way too far, emotions who? Never heard of em.
Aquarius : the sweetest person but you need to be a level 600 friend for them to be consistent with you. not into the. whole “planning ahead thing” and are only happy in a relationship if they’re constantly moving in that relationship whether it’s being perpetually single or having a volatile love life in general drama happens and it takes them a month to notice it
Pisces : if a children’s sports competition had a personality it’d be a Pisces, all in immediately and happy to go along with what their friends want but if they get hurt all hell breaks loose