The Ratman is actually 7 years old

(its been about 16 billion years since I wrote anything longer than 4 sentences, so spare me the harshest criticism ;_;?)

The situation is, as usual, absolute torture to the younger junker.
He’s been given strict instructions to 1. not to leave the room 2. not destroy the room and 3. to behave. Its like Hog knows exactly how to make the wait while he’s out the most boring experience Junkrat has been through.

The motel room is dirty, small, smells currently like piss and vinegar and to top everything off, it doesn’t even have a telly.

Angrily staring at the ceiling, Rat tries his best to come up with some kind of revenge on his life’s most boring day (which isn’t true, but that’s how it feels like right now) but coming up short since rule 2 is in effect.
Trying atleast to kill some of the excess energy built up from the last 34 minutes (which feels like 34 hours to the small man) he kicks his extremities (both real and not) around, while lying on the bed. Some satisfying thumps help his sour mood a little, but only after his robotic leg bounces back from the mattress for a good few inches, does the junker get an idea. A marvelous idea that doesn’t break rule 2, will help him spend some energy AND it’ll annoy Hog off.


After a good hour and a half, Roadhog walks back into the room, suspicious as hell after he hears no noises, no complaining and nothing is on fire from the hallway. The room is exactly like he left it, nothing is broken, no spray paint on the walls. Nothing. Its also so quiet, he feels instantly a quiet terror creep in.
The feeling isn’t helped even after he sees Junkrat lying on the bed, spread out, eyes closed and grinning.

Before Hog has a chance to ask anything out loud, he notices its not actually completely silent. The younger man is panting, gasping and giggling quietly to himself. He’s also sweating and the bed looks like a tornado went through it. But only it, nothing else is disturbed. The mattress is off the wooden base about half a meter, precariously dangling off one edge, but its intact.

“What did you do?” Squinting, Hog hovers over the giggling fellow junker.
“We’r nevr staying no where with shit beds no more. Ever.” Rat giggles, still fighting to keep his breathing going.

Mako eyes him, for a long while, before going to repeat the question, only to stop halfway the first word, when he puts 2 and 2 together.

For the past hour, judging by the small dents in the roof, Junkrat has been using the double bed as a makeshift trampoline. The mattress is in fact, creaking in all the wrong ways, when the older man sits on it, sighing.
Even after years of being around Junkrat, he still isn’t sure if the man is an absolute child or just clever as all hell.
But the sound of Rat quietly falling asleep, still grinning, makes Hog shrug, sigh again and start going through his bag of groceries, thinking that any deep thought put into what and why Rat does things, is a waste of perfectly good energy.

SoftBank is set to buy ARM for $30.9 billion, report says
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Japanese telecoms conglomerate SoftBank is ready to buy British chip giant ARM for a cool 23.4 billion pounds ($30.9 billion).

The Financial Times reported the news in the early hours of Monday, citing two people close to the negotiations.

If it goes through, the deal will be the largest ever acquisition of a European tech company, noted the FT.

The deal will value ARM, which boasts 4,000 employees, at a 43 percent premium above its closing price last week. ARM’s market cap stood at 16.7 billion pounds ($22 billion) on Friday. 

ARM’s processors have been known for their low power consumption, allowing them to become a force in the mobile industry. ARM’s chip designs go into products such as Apple’s iPhones and Apple Watches.

Unlike other competitors such as Intel, which manufactures its chips, ARM licenses its technology to other companies. 

SoftBank, one of Japan’s largest companies, is worth about 7.2 trillion yen ($68 billion) and employs over 69,000 people.

It counts among its vast properties American telecoms company Sprint, and Yahoo Japan, which it set up together with Yahoo in 1996.

Softbank has been aggressively investing in mobile software companies in recent years, from Clash of Clans developer Supercell to Uber rivals Didi Chuxing in China and Ola in India.

Just last month, SoftBank’s president Nikesh Arora stepped down, as 58-year-old founder Masayoshi Son announced that he would stay on as CEO for at least another five years. The role was expected to be passed to Arora, who left one as one of the highest paid executives in the world.

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from Mashable http://ift.tt/29FGeaP

(JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon.REUTERS/Dylan Martinez)
JPMorgan reported second-quarter earnings Thursday that beat on the top and bottom lines.

The firm reported adjusted earnings per share of $1.46 on revenue of $25.20 billion.

Analysts were expecting adjusted earnings of $1.43 a share on revenue of $24.50 billion, according to Bloomberg.

“Throughout the recent uncertainty and turbulence in the markets, we continued to be there for our clients — solid and steadfast to meet their needs, execute their transactions and provide liquidity,” CEO Jamie Dimon said in a statement.

The firm beat expectations on both trading and investment-banking revenues.

Here’s the breakdown:

  • Trading revenues of $5.6 billion (versus $5.16 billion expected) were up 23% year-over-year.
  • Fixed-income trading revenue came in at $3.96 billion ($3.57 billion expected), up 35% year-over-year, which the firm said was driven by higher revenues in rates, currencies and emerging markets, credit, and securitized products.
  • Equity markets revenues of $1.60 billion ($1.59 billion expected) were up 2% year-over-year.
  • Investment-banking revenue came in at $1.5 billion ($1.49 billion expected), down 15% year-over-year. That was largely driven by lower equity underwriting fees, according to the firm.

In the same quarter last year, JPMorgan reported earnings of $1.54 a share on revenue of $24.3 billion.

In the first quarter, JPMorgan reported earnings of $1.35 a share on revenue of $24.08 billion.

The big story during the second quarter was the UK’s decision in June to leave the European Union, which sent shockwaves through markets and could deter central banks from raising interest rates anytime soon.

In the short term, that could be good news for banks’ trading revenues, but the long-term impacts are less rosy. Bank profitability is based largely on the rate at which the bank makes loans. Lower global interest rates, in turn, negatively affect banks’ bottom lines.

JPMorgan on Tuesday announced that it would raise minimum pay for some 18,000 US employees.

Citigroup and Wells Fargo are set to report second-quarter earnings on Friday, followed by Bank of America Merrill Lynch on Monday, Goldman Sachs on Tuesday, and Morgan Stanley on Wednesday.

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