!tos

Parody: “Satisfied” from Hamilton (Lin-Manuel Miranda)

Hamiltrek Part One

UHURA: All right, all right! That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Now everybody give it up for the best first officer in the fleet, Mr. Spock!

SPOCK: To Kirk and McCoy!   (BRIDGE CREW: McCoy!)

To your pride             (BRIDGE CREW: To our pride!)

To your mission         (BRIDGE CREW: Five years in all)

To seek new life far and wide

To your nation             (BRIDGE CREW: To elation! To the Federation!)

And the strength to be allied              (BC: Be allied, be allied)

May you always

Be satisfied

Rewind…

Computer,

Rewind… (COMPUTER: Affirmative)

I remember that night

I just might regret that night

But that’s a human phrase

I remember those Starfleet boys

Tripping over themselves to win our praise

I remember that moment on the edge

Of forever and an eyebrow raise

But James Tiberius, I’ll never forget the first time I saw your face

I have never been the same

Warm, impish brown eyes in a green-tunic’d frame

And when you said hi I felt friendship and shame

Set my heart aflame, like Pon Farr aflame

This is not a game

KIRK: You strike me as a Vulcan who has never been satisfied

SPOCK: Captain, I don’t know what you mean. That’s a human term.

KIRK: You’re like me, I’m never satisfied.

SPOCK: Is that right?

KIRK: Boldly gone but not satisfied.

SPOCK: My real name…you couldn’t pronounce it.

KIRK: James Tiberius Kirk is, um…

SPOCK: Where’s your accent from?

KIRK: Unimportant, there’s a million beings I haven’t done

Just you wait, just you wait

SPOCK: So so so

So this is what it feels like to match wits

With an equal - now I’m torn! Is there a Gorn? What’s the catch? It’s

A transporter beam turning you into light

It’s a Zefram Cochrane warp engine flight,

You see it, right?

The conversation was exactly twelve seconds, three minutes

Everything we said in total agreement, it’s

A dream fall from a neck-pinching stance,

It’s a Tholian Web, a woven intricate dance. He’s a

Bit of a flirt, but I’m ‘a give it a chance

I asked why he was shirtless, did you see his answer?

His hand on his phaser while he looked askance?

He’s bluffing like he’s got some Corbomite in his pants

Handsome, boy does he know it

Soft hair, like a Tribble would grow it

I wanna warp light years away from this place

Then I turn and see the doctor’s face and he is

MCCOY: Hypo-less
SPOCK: And I know, he is
MCCOY: Hypo-less
SPOCK: His blue eyes are just
MCCOY: Hypo-less

SPOCK and BRIDGE CREW: And I realize

Three logic’lly sound truths at the exact same time

KIRK: Where are you taking me?
SPOCK: I’m about to change your life, Captain.
KIRK: Then by all means, lead the way.

MAJEL BARRETT: Number One!

SPOCK: Human world, Vulcan nerves: a gift

Is a benefit, an internal rift

Starfleet’s just got the one, so I’m the son

Who needs to never seem undone

So I’m the calmest and the snarkiest and my hallmark’s

To embark on this Star Trek quest

And Kirk is earmarked for ears with less

Ha! I’m still checkmated in this game of chess

MCCOY: Leonard McCoy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
KIRK: McCoy?
SPOCK: Ship’s doctor.
SCOTTY: Number Two!

SPOCK: He’s after me cause I’m a Vulcan prince

That elevates his status I’d

Be naïve not to keep Sarek in mind

Maybe that is why

I introduce him to McCoy, now he’s by his side

Nice going Spock, Captain Jim Kirk was right

You will never be satisfied

MCCOY: Thank you for all your service.
KIRK: If it takes getting slashed in the chest for us to meet, it will have been worth it.
SPOCK: I’ll leave you to your human conversation.
SULU: Number Three!

SPOCK: I know McCoy, I’ve melded with his own mind

You will never find

Anyone less logical, more kind

If I tell him that I love Jim he’d decidedly resign

He’d be mine

He would drawl, it’s fiiiine

He’d be lying

But in the endless night of space

It’s my commander’s eyes

Out on the Enterprise

What might have been if I hadn’t sized

Him up with logic?

At least on the bridge I mask the strife

At least I keep my post in his life

To Jim Kirk!

To his guide!

From your ScienceOfficer too dignified…

To emotion

You can share what I deride

May you always

Be satisfied

And I know

I have self-disqualified

Kobayashi Maru-It can never be satisfied

I will never be satisfied