Breakfast b***

I would often take the company vehicle out in the morning and pick up Mcdonalds for my office-mates. The drivethru would get pretty busy and sometimes wrap around the building. The entrance to the parking lot was on the corner of the building closest to the drivethru entrance, so to get in line one would have to drive in past the line, pull a u-turn in the lot and get in the back of the line.

One such morning I pull in the parking lot, pass the line and turn around to get in line. After a few minutes I’m up to the corner where the lot entrance is. A minivan pulls in to the lot as I’m inching around the corner, and instead of passing by, sticks its nose in front of my vehicle. This b*tch is now blocking both me and the entrance to the lot, preventing anyone else from entering.

Now, I normally shrug sh*t like that off. I’m normally laid back. Not this morning, for whatever reason. I continue moving forward, trying to prevent her from getting in line. I get as close as I dare, meanwhile the woman driving the van refuses to make eye contact with me. She’s not budging. I have never gotten out of my car while in traffic, but that is exactly what I did. I put it in park, swung my door open and flew out of the truck. The woman saw this and threw up two middle fingers, still not making eye contact. I proceed to yell at her about the common courtesies of parking lot etiquette, interspersed with my opinions on exactly how much of a fucking twat she is. Whatever, she’s not listening. Zero f*cks.

I retreat back to the truck and sit, fuming, moving forward with the line and burning a hole in to the back of her stupid fucking minivan with my eyes. Then, inspiration. She pulls up to the speaker, rolls down her window and pokes her stupid face out of the car. I wait approximately 3 seconds until she begins to give her order, then I just lay on my horn. She shoots me a nasty look and continues trying to order. Horn. Blaring. She shoots me another middle finger. I let off the horn. Wait, there’s more! More horn. It was a solid minute. I can see her obviously trying to yell her order. More horn? You bet. I had to change hands. I started to feel guilty about all the people stuck behind me, so just as I’m about let off, she cuts her wheel and screeches out of the line and leaves. Victory! F*ck that woman.

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Imagine walking with Woozi when you notice one of your shoelaces came undone. Right before you were about to reach down to tie your shoelaces, Woozi kneels downs and does it for you.