i think of you in the mundane
just as much as i do
in the extraordinary.
my heart races at 11am when I
picture you standing right beside me in the
self-checkout line and for once-
i will not be all by
myself. my insides get all tangled up
when i fall asleep at 1am with my mind 
racing, wishing you were right beside me.

you are every piece of my dreams and i am not
quite sure how you have managed to tangle yourself
all up in my life when i have yet to even let you know-
but i take it, i accept it- i do not mind it one bit.

i hope one day (soon) fear will not captivate me
and emotions will not engross me,
but strength will consume me
and bravery will fill my bones,
and my dreams will not be dreams; 
they will be realities and moments and memories.

—  fear is the absence of courage and i am tired of always being the mouse; i want to be the lion. 

Prompt: Could you write a modern au version of Ross returning home, please?

Thanks for the prompt anon! I hope to be able to write this story completely someday, but for now:

Poldark Political AU: A Teaser

After spending three years living in Virginia and teaching American law students about international law and war crimes, Ross Poldark is returning home. The sudden death of his father from a heart attack pulls the young barrister back to Cornwall, a place he’d fled following the ugly and very public breakup from his longtime love and fellow socialite, Elizabeth Chenoweth.

But there is more than just the tragic loss of his father to confront upon his return. The family shipping business, Nampara Industries, is on the brink of bankruptcy. Since his father’s move into the political area five years previous as MP for Truro and Falmouth, Nampara was left in the hands of COO Jud Paynter, who proved to be a poor choice, having done little to protect and grow the business interests. The only glimmer of light was the bit of good his father had managed do as MP, but driven political hopeful George Warleggan made no attempt to hide his aspirations to win the now open seat in the by-election. George, Ross knew from their days together at University, held no one’s interest in higher esteem than his own. Desperate to keep the office out of George’s hands, Ross impulsively decides to run against him.

To make matters worse, Ross is confronted with the betrayal that had sent him to America, when his cousin Francis and his cousin’s wife, Elizabeth Chenoweth-Poldark, decide to back George.  Unknown to Ross and Elizabeth, however, is that Francis’ choice is motivated by the hold Warleggan Bank has on his company, Trenwith Inc.

Ross begins buckling under the weight of it all when his relationship with Demelza Carne, his father’s quiet cleaning lady, shifts dramatically. She came three times a week to his father’s estate home, cleaned, cooked dinner, and did the shopping. He found himself looking forward to each visit, and worked to engage her in conversation, finding her bruised skin and carefully arranged clothing suspicious. When she failed to arrive one week, Ross managed to track her down at the local A&E, with a split lip and a black eye. With his suspicions confirmed, Ross insists that Demelza, along with her dog Garrick, move into the apartment above his garage and he promotes her to his personal assistant.

Demelza begins to flourish in her new position and from her freedom from her abusive father, and soon Ross finds that his quiet cleaning lady has blossomed into a lovely, confident assistant, and he struggles with his feelings for her. It doesn’t help matters that his local campaign has garnered national attention–the Labour party eager to trot out a young, handsome, hardworking, educated candidate in a notoriously conservative constituency. Soon rumors about the nature of his relationship with Demelza begin to run rampant, no doubt feed by the opposition, and Ross’ campaign manager, Verity Blamey, tells him something has to be done about the girl or the scandal would ruin his chances of winning.

Unwilling to fire her for fear she’d wind up back with her father, and because he’d grown to care for her, Ross decides on the one course of action that will forever alter their lives:

With the business barely struggling to get by, his relationship with his cousin on the edge of complete ruin, the eyes of the nation on his political campaign, and George Warleggan smugly standing by waiting for him to fail…

He marries her.

Special thanks to  thenamparacliff and twelvepercentt for letting me use their gifs of Aidan to make this!