Kimini tanıdığına pişman oluyorsun, kimini de geç tanıdığına.
—  alibayram / mecazherif
Tumblr'da birbirinden farklı acı çeken o kadar insan çokki. Kimisini babası sevmemiş, kimini sevdiği yarım bırakmış, kimi platonik aşık, kimi aradığı aşkı yanlış insanda bulmuş, kiminin arkadaşı ihanet etmiş. Ama hep biri sebep olmuş. Neden bu acıların ardında biri var. İşte o biri bütün güveni almış götürmüş. Belki de bu yüzdendir insanların birbirinden çekinmeleri. Bu yüzdendir tanışmaktan korkmaları. Birazda olsa güvenmeyi deneyin. Evet kalbini kırdı/kırdılar ama bu daha kimseyi sevemeyeceğin yada güvenemeyeceğin anlamına gelmez. Birbirinize mesaj atın, tanışın. Belki çok yakın olursunuz. Belki o insan hayatında güzel bir yer edinir. Sizinle aynı acıları paylaşan çok insan var burda. O yüzden tanışın arkadaşlar. Deneyin.

elidexlorcan  asked:

I was just wondering, and I'm not sure if this is a stupid question, but what's the meaning behind your URL?? I really love it

Thank you!!!!

So when I was younger my mum adopted some 5-y-old twin boys, and they couldn’t say my name (Kimberly) properly, resulting in what I thought was the super adorable ‘kimini’ 

Part two is the fact that I am a huuuuuuge disney fan, so when it occurred to me that Jiminy Cricket sounded a lot like Kimini Cricket I was completely sold!! of course, I’m not much of a conscience :P but I have used it as a screen name ever since :)


Chelsey (@yllo-line) tagged me to share four albums I’ve been into recently. Which was actually tough! I spend most of my listening time checking out albums I haven’t heard, and unless I’m driving, I don’t really play music. Really, the only other album I put on if I’m not going through a new title is Fantome right now. But here’s four for you.

Only Kyary’s album is available on streaming services. Utada and Amuro’s singles on those albums are tough to look up proper uploads on YouTube. But don’t mind me: I just like to complain about my obsessions not being on shareable via streaming services!

Fantome by Utada Hikaru [Virgin/Universal Music Japan, 2016]

I’ve been listening to “Hanataba wo Kimini” from this album since watching her sing it on last year’s Kouhaku. It was really something seeing the lyrics written out as she sang it, and reading along made me come to terms with just how much Fantome potentially deals with her mother’s recent death, back in 2013. (She wrote “Hanataba” not long after.) I’m drafting a more extensive writing about it in my head, so I’ll save much about how I feel about that song for that.

And really, the lyrics on “Manatsu no Tooriame” (another ballad about loss that is just crushing!) makes me appreciate the Japanese language in general. In her Fantome interviews, Utada talked about how she turned to Japanese literature more as she began her life outside of Japan and her celebrity life there after announcing her hiatus. I feel that want to re-connect with your home so much right now, and Fantome really represents that part of me. I think a Record Club week for this would be splendid

I Am… by Ayumi Hamasaki [Avex Trax, 2001]

I’m slowly phasing out of A Best, a benchmark for Ayu’s first taste of success, and into the next step of her career in I Am… and Rainbow. I would also love to spend a week talking about I Am… It marks such an interesting time of her career where she now has to deal with her mega-stardom. The album itself sounds like a star on the brink of seizing everything in the world. The music sounds just fucking massive, but Ayu somehow manages to twirl everything around her finger. I could talk someone’s ear off about “Evolution,” really.

KPP Best by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu [Unborde, 2016]

My parents gave me this greatest hits CD for Christmas, so it has been in my car stereo for a bit now. I spin disc two more: “Ninjari Bang Bang,” “Invader Invader,” “Kira Kira Killer,” “Mondai Girl,” “Sai & Ko” – all it’s missing is “Fashion Monster,” maybe my favorite Kyary song.

181920 by Namie Amuro [Avex Trax, 1998]

Eh, this is more of last week’s selection, but why not, let’s throw this in because I seriously only listen to three albums right now. In an episode of Perfume’s A-chan’s radio show, she talked with two members of Scandal about their heyday at artist schools and how there’s always at least one group dancing to Namie Amuro. They proceeded to play “Don’t wanna cry” from Sweet 19 Blues, and it has been stuck in my head since.

181920 is a greatest hits album, compiling her hit singlew from her debut “Body Feels Exit” to the classic “Can You Celebrate?” I tend to go straight for this when it comes to Amuro; I’ve written a bit much about how I feel about her albums. It might be a testament more to how unstoppable Testuya Komuro was at his peak because these songs are really the foundation for my love of her music. She sounded so, so cool as a 19 year old, and man, I feel so much of that effortless cool from her 20 years later.

This morning I felt small and numb and everything felt like it was a blurry fog. Now I’m just numb and mostly nothing is foggy.

But I’m breathing and no more dizzy than usual and I’m still going to go home and accomplish something today.

I’ve got multiple star wars amigurumis to make, Madi’s and Kimini’s and Abbi’s. And then I will should finally send my sis her care package. And maybe talk the little bros into some DnD again. Or Cards Against Humanity.

Choir starts next week. Which means I go back to interning six to thirteen hours a week on top of my forty three hour work week. But that I think I’m looking forward to. I get to see my choir kids and all the parents and my friends from before I graduated.

Rajah has decided that he will not sleep in my bed unless he brings a toy in the room. Last night he brought a toy to bed and woke me up an hour later attacking it. Cute fluzzy kitten. He ended up passing out from the catnip and exhaustion. I don’t think I’ve shared a photo of him with any of you yet, have I? Another goal for this weekend.

I really don’t know why I’m writing all this. I think I just needed to share, even if it just gets lost. Have a good Friday my friends, and a good weekend.

Bana ait ne varsa yitip gitti zamanla
Kimini canım dediklerim söküp aldı benden
Kimini ben harcadım bol keseden
Ve bir baktım ki geriye
Bana ait ne kadar umut
İyi niyet varsa
Sevgi aşk varsa
Hepsi dökülmüş yerlere
Birilerine oyuncak olmuş
Yitip gitmiş
Bu saatten sonra ne desem boş
Sağlık olsun ozaman

Herkesi öldürüyoruz, sevgili dostum. Kimini kurşunlarla, kimini sözlerle, kimini yaptıklarımızla ve kimini de şimdiye kadar yapmadıklarımızla.
—  Dostoyevski

Bana bunu nasıl okurdun? Hatırımda tutmak gün geçtikçe zorlaşıyor.

“Ya giysilerini ne yapacağız? Şu sırada bu soru pek çok evde bir sevgilinin vefatının ardından soruluyor olmalı. Yanıtlar net: kimini aile yakınlarına, samimi dostlara ve komşulara teklif eder, yardımsever kuruluşlara bağışlarsın. Birkaç parçayı sevdan hatırına kendine saklarsın.

Yanıtlar aşikâr, oysa soru hiçbir yanıta tahammül göstermeyen gizli bir soru işareti gibi ısrarlı.”

Yves & John Berger, Uçuşan Etekler, Beverly’nin Ardından

Fotoğraf: Jean Mohr

Yaşadığım her şeyden bir ders çıkardım. 
Hiç birini atmadım. Sakladım.
Kimini zihnimde, kimini fikrimde, kimini de yüreğimde…

 Mehmet Deveci