On the topic of Millenials

I posted yesterday about wanting to vomit in the shoes of those writers who post condescending, smug articles about The Millenials (Are Ruining Everything). It’s a sentiment I’ve held for awhile, but that post was prompted by a particular article I’d just read on Undercover Recruiter (an HR and recruiting blog I get email updates for). I can’t link cause I’m on mobile, but for the morbidly curious, it’s the article titled How To Transform A Millenial Employee Into A Leader.

First of all, a big old middle finger to the title itself. If you think my generation lacks for leaders among ourselves…honestly I don’t even know what to say. Turn on a fucking TV. Read a fucking newspaper. Notice how many of the movements taking to the streets and demanding change are run by twenty-somethings - ie, the Millenials you think so poorly of. Now go fellate a flamethrower.

Or don’t, cause I’m not done with you yet.

The first thing it says to look for in a “potential future leader” is commitment to the job. Okay, makes sense. But then it goes from there into “controlling impulsive actions”, which would be okay as a general quality except that it starts fapping about the supposed Joey attention span and “constant need for gratification, awards, and bonuses. Nowadays, all the answers to any question is in the palm of our hand, retail therapy is just a click away, and the pursuit of Facebook ‘likes’ is an addictive self-esteem boost for a needy generation.”

*record screech* Hold the fuck up. You wanna talk about needy? How about a boomer generation whose neediness for unchecked wealth accumulation fucking ruined our economy? And even IF we buy your bullshit premise that my generation is uncommonly needy, why don’t we go ahead and look at WHY?

Many of us are the victims of the feel-good-praise-for-everyone attitude that was so prevalent in education and parenting through the 90s into the early 2000s. I understand that it was meant well. Teachers and parents thought they were bolstering our self-esteem and teaching us confidence. Instead, it had two effects - either it gave us an overblown sense of our own importance (that arrogance boomers like to gripe about) that we couldn’t live up to, or we saw exactly how fake much of that praise was and decided we couldn’t really trust people saying good things about or to us. Which, surprise, can quite understandably lead to seeking reassurance of our own worth over and over because we can never quite believe that people actually mean it. You have no right to complain and judge us for the traits YOU instilled in us.

Also? I have known way more boomers who have no fucking impulse control and 50+ year old white men are the neediest, greediest, most arrogant motherfuckers out there, with shitty impulse control because they literally don’t believe they need to - everyone around them will just adjust and work around their outbursts.

And can you please stop fucking infantilizing us? We are adults, not toddlers throwing tantrums. Jesus.

Next it discusses communication skills. And by discusses communication skills I mean shits on my generation for being selfish and arrogant (again). Pot. Kettle. Enough said.

The last thing they say to look for is “leveraging new technology for the business”.

Hold. The fuck. Up.

You want to point fingers and whine about our tech and our usage of it, but you then turn around and want to take advantage of our tech skills for your business? First of all, nope. Fucking hypocrites. Second of all, to think that you can pull them apart like that betrays your fundamental misunderstanding of the relationship my generation has with technology.

For us, and even more so for the youngest ones and those of the as-yet-unnamed generation, tech is woven seamlessly into the fabric of our lives. Selfies and Facebook are as integral to our use of technology as any business-related tech and services might be. You literally can’t get one without the other, because you’re asking us to pull ourselves apart so you get only the pieces you think will be useful.

No. Millenials are what we are. Damaged (no more so than other generations, but in our own unique ways), tech-savvy, all the good and the bad (and a lot of the bad is your own damn fault, for which you refuse to accept any responsibility). Cope or get out of the way.