!by me

Jason: “Trini, no!”

Trini: “Trini, yes!”

Kimberly: “Trini, no!”

Trini: “……… Never mind, princesa says no.” 

THIS SIDE OF WASHINGTON [THE STATE]
— 

seven little pills dangled in my coat pocket, but i wasn’t going to take them– they were poison, not literal poison but poison nonetheless and i was in no mood to die slow– i had ideas– ideas to fill about fifteen spiral notebooks–

but it’s not feasible to carry that big of a load around with you at all hours so i just type everything on my phone, in the notes– sometimes on my ipod– there are of course those rare moments when i grab a sharpie and jot something down on my skin, usually my stomach–

this side of washington treats me as well as it can– it’s trying, really, it is– parenthood is hard and i give it props– i get lost in my own head and that shouldn’t be the case but it is– the rain won’t stop but it’s not bringing me down, so–

i keep switching, i know, from You to Them to Her to Him to Everybody, from first person to third to second, from past to present tense, but what can i do? i’m stuck in this side of washington, playing the same song over and over again because it helps me write, because these plains are tortuously flat and i need a friend to walk them–