Anxiety level - Chandler Bing letting people in his work office call him Tobey for 5 years because it’s too awkward to correct them.
Similarities Between Myself and Bilbo Baggins
- Main survival instinct is to bullshit my way out of a situation
- Would rather be eccentric uncle than responsible parent
- Would use the One Ring to get out of seeing family members
- In times of strife, thinking of food is a source of comfort
- Would never stop complaining, even as I became a true adventurer
- Would sleep through an entire battle
what do you mean you can’t go out anymore I prepared psychologically for 72 hours for this
whatdidyousayagain-deactivated2
How to kill an introvert
Starve him to death by putting a stranger in his kitchen.
*eats a salad one time* i am honestly the most pure being on this earth i can feel the toxins escaping my body right in this moment. health is a lifestyle
licknuhohoho-deactivated2015121
I need to get laid
To rest. Put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend
Anxiety is panicking about being late and then sitting in the parking lot for 20 minutes because you are so early
Source: sheismysquishy
me: *accidentally reveals something personal while joking*
friend: dude that's dark are you okay?
me: whoops Sharing Time™ is over, come back next week!
Why do humans want to find aliens so badly? It’s not like we’ve ever instantly accepted anything different from us.
perk of dating me: i have no social life so we can hang out whenever it’s convenient for you
manic-pixie-dream-histrionic
Am I Actually Being Ignored Or Do I Just Think That I’m Being Ignored Because I Have An Exorbitantly High Need For Attention: An Autobiography
colbiebryan-deactivated20150125
ok im tired of the bullshit
wheres the queen mosquito?? if i beat her ass all the other ones die right?? how many health bars does she have?
australian-government-deactivat
me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism???????? what?????
If only I was given a dollar for every time I made myself look stupid in front of a cute person
starfrakarchive-deactivated2014
i think i’ve tricked certain people into thinking im cooler than i am
do you ever see a person you used to be friends with and you’re like “glad i got the fuck outta that one”
hope this isnt too nsfw for you guys but id really like to hold a hand