milf (mentally ill lesbian friend)

words of power do exist…. i can walk out of my apartment wearing the most fuck shit, e.g. swim trunks as shorts w a zipped up hoodie and no shirt underneath, and just say the words “laundry day” and suddenly it’s way less weird

“laundry day” spell: decreases target’s judgment of outfit by 80%

I picked up a banana print shirt in Vietnam - were talkin LOUD - and the first time someone commented on it I said “It’s banana shirt friday” which stunlocked them and blocked any followup questions.

Turns out that saying “it’s banana shirt friday” enough actually created a holiday at my office where everyone would wear fruit print clothes on fridays! So yes, words of power exist. :)

@cryptotheism relevant to your interests

Spell of Banana Shirt Friday

future archaeologist: these people must have done this for ritual purposes the ritual in question: banana shirt friday

been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.

Scoreboard at Yankee Stadium - July 20, 1969

An estimated 650 million people would watch Neil Armstrong take man’s first step on the moon more than six hours later, but during the actual lunar landing, 32,933 were in the stands at Yankee Stadium on that Sunday afternoon. Ken McMullen was batting against Jack Aker with Epstein on third, a man on first and no outs. 

As the umpires, according to prior arrangements, waved their arms and stopped play, an urgent voice came over the loudspeakers: “Here is a bulletin from WWDC News, Apollo 11 is 100 feet from the surface of the moon. We now switch live to the manned spacecraft center.”  It was public address announcer Bob Sheppard, sharing the historic news with the crowd.

“Ladies and gentleman, your attention please,” Sheppard said. “You will be happy to know that the Apollo 11 has landed safely on the moon.“

The cheers from the crowd drowned out the final two words of his announcement, but the message displayed on the scoreboard in right-center field was loud and clear: “THEYRE ON THE MOON.”

The cheering at Yankee Stadium continued for about 45 seconds, according to the New York Times, as thousands of children waved the Hillerich & Bradsby Co. Louisville Sluggers they received on bat day.

Finally, the noise died down enough so the announcer could be understood, and he asked the crowd for a moment of silent prayer for the safe return of the astronauts.  After a few seconds of silence, a recording of “America the Beautiful” played over the Yankee Stadium loudspeaker. The crowd sang and then cheered some more.

After the roughly four-minute stoppage, McMullen hit a grounder to third baseman Bobby Cox, who threw home to nail Epstein for the first out.

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

beautifully said. 💜

original

Everyone else talked about outdoor cats, it's time for me to talk about offleash dogs

Reasons not to have your dog offleash at a public park:

1) roads (this one is self-explanatory)

2) it makes the park inaccessible to like, entire swathes of the population. If you have experience with police dogs or guard dogs in your neighborhood, or you're a new immigrant from somewhere with a large population of feral dogs, it sucks ass going to the park and having someone's massive lab bound up to you!

3) If, for example, you are in a protected wetland area plastered with friendly signs asking you to please leash your dog to avoid causing an ecological impact, having your dog offleash might cause an ecological impact! "Oh no, my dog is well-behaved, they would never bother the wildlife" wrong! your dog is in the pond trying to eat the endangered Blandings' turtles!

4) Non-zero chance of a jokerified park guide (me) just clipping your dog to a leash and stealing them

5) “Oh but my dog is friendly!” If your unleashed “friendly” dog runs up to my leashed UNFRIENDLY dog, and my dog bites yours, guess who’s getting the blame despite doing everything right?

6) Allergies. “Oh but my dog is friendly!” oh well that’s great I guess I can just put the epipen away because, yknow, he didn’t mean to induce anaphylactic shock, it was all in good fun, nothing to worry about!

7) Small children, the elderly and disabled people. “Oh but my dog is so friendly!” When your friendly dog slams into me/jumps on me/knocks me over I am just as injured.

apparently i still need to hold peoples hands through this so if you just dont like rap or hip hop or dancehall i am begging you to just fucking ask why. why is it that even if its one verse on a song you otherwise love it ruins the whole song. why is it that when an artist you like borrows from or works with any other genre youre okay with it but not when its rap or hip hop. be honest with yourself and look at your music taste and ask yourself what the music you dont like has in common and why they might have that in common.

maybe you dont care about fall out boy featuring a black artist specifically, but why is it that these genres which are dominated by black artists are the ones you dislike. what is it about them that you dont like. dont "i dont know i just dont like them" me, i want you to look at your music taste and really sit with yourself and think about why you like what you like and dont like what you dont like.

because everyone, not just nonblack people, EVERYONE is bombarded with the idea that black art is inferior. that blackness in general is inferior. i have heard people say that they just think rap and hip hop isnt as deep as pop punk, and its really fucking transparent when you have shit like this is america by childish gambino, same drugs by chance the rapper, humble by kendrick lamar, take it back by logic, and you really really expect me to believe that vague lyrical gesturing at the concept of depression is somehow inherently superior to that.

you are hiding behind the fact that in theory, a genre can simply not be to your taste, so as to ignore the fact that in practice, against your will, you have been taught that black people are unsophisticated and shallow, and it influences every fucking thing you do. either admit that, or stop listening to fall out boy, because pete wentz isnt "one of the good ones", hes black, and youve just been ignoring it. fuck you.

this post must be reblogged by everyone

I just made the most needlessly complicated character profile template anyone's ever seen. It's perfect for when you want to infodump real hard about your OCs. I'll share it in a minute

It's 13 pages long holy SHIT

Anyways here's the most detailed OC profile sheet ever:

@frogtossing

283,000 likes………giant meteor strike the earth rn holy shit. oh my god.

"maybe it's not your pussy" is such a funny phrase and also correct. People wonder why chores are so hard and it's like, friends we used to have a whole intergenerational team on this and now Grandma is locked in a beige box. Cooking is hard.

Who want to see a tiny cat with big sad eyes

Let's fuckin go

This is Ori she's tiny and sad

the thing is this dashboard change isnt the end of the world ill get used to it whatever im just fucking dying of embarrassment that its supposed to look like twitter

twitter gets run over by a bus and the next day tumblr comes 2 school wearing her clothes like. oh my god come on

Sharecropping.

FYI if your employer does this, if they have done it for a long time especially, you and your coworkers could be owed huge amounts of unpaid wages and it would be an easy suit if there is a paper trail like this and your employer is placing strict requirements on your behavior while not at work. Employment lawyers generally work on contingency. Just food for thought.

jesus fucking christ

"i wish i could do something 😔 / i wish the wga had a kickstarter or a gofundme, i would throw money at it" good news! it's amazing how you can literally go onto the wga strike website or the wgawest linktree from their twitter and find links to support writers and other workers affected by the strike

ocd is not fucking destigmatized

"intrusive thought" gets thrown around by assholes talking about putting strainers on their heads or stepping on a leaf who in the next sentence will say "if your thoughts are about actually hurting people they should put you in a psych ward". compulsions and rituals get seen as proof you're "crazy". ocd insight CAN be delusional, even. pocd and sexual ocd is especially demonized, though even something as "harmless" (to others. not *us*) as contamination OCD is still mocked, belittled, and seen as a sign something is fundamentally wrong with you. I have seen people twice my age advocate for violence against anyone who thinks the way I've been forced by my mental illness to think since i was 6, maybe 7 years old.

OCD is not destigmatized.

Oh and that fucking crab day post sends shivers down my spine btw. I say this as someone who owns multiple pieces of tumblr merch — support them if you want, or don’t, I don’t care, but we are NOT turning a tech corporation into our poor little wet meow meow who deserves all our money uwu. We are NOT pressuring normal ass people into donating to resolve a company’s millions in debt as if it’s some important charitable cause.

The Witching Hour (1977, tempera on panel) | Andrew Wyeth