The story is written (Part 1 of 3)

If the walls I build around my heart could speak, They’d show more honesty than I ever had I keep the dust on these books with your fingertips It’s both your absence and your presence That shakes the ground beneath my feet.

Some days I don’t say a word God knows if I did, I’d confess everything, My lies and how much it hurts To watch you find love in places without me; And god knows I want to pause the world, Look into your eyes and say what I feel But you know me, I’ve never been worthy of love You made it very clear that I ruin everything.

There are highs and lows up in this cage I’ve always been my biggest enemy I swear to god, if I die I’d resurrect myself The very minute you’d try to give your heart  To someone else other than me!

Some days I don’t want to see you God knows if I did, I’d show you this anger eating me It’s infuriating how blind you are To what’s going on inside of me; And god knows I want to shake your world, Look into your eyes and reveal everything I’m giving hell to anyone that gets too close Yet you keep missing out this one thing - I let you in.

Sorry, it must’ve been the drugs talking all along, I always had a weak spot For you, for her and for cocaine I’m sorry but I can’t let you know what I feel, I’m afraid you never felt the same.

~ A. A. Roman