Toucan discovers a traffic cam. video

Today is the day this toucan discovered a traffic cam

you can only reblog it today

Missed this last year by 50 effing minutes.

Hell yeah I’m scheduling this again.

If carp could speak they would all have French accents

mon dieu.... you have caught me....

Do u ever think about how dogs, who have 2 colour receptors, see an apple as grayish yellow, while humans have 3 and see it as red, and mantis shrimp have 12, and see it another monstrous colour altogether?

How none of us are necessarily correct, and the apple itself, is not really any colour, it’s just a fruit minding its own goddamn business??

Fucking fascinating

We don’t know how ANYTHING TASTES, SOUNDS, LOOKS, FEELS, OR SMELLS

If you think about it just a bit too much like I did, you'll reach the conclusion that nothing really tastes, sounds, looks, feels or smells. It's just your brain's interpretation of chemical composition, vibrations, the way things reflect light, more vibrations and chemical composition again

Reality can’t be proven to exist outside of our ability to perceive it through our senses but our senses can’t be trusted so basically nothing is real do what you want

Today on Tumblr Accidentally Recapitulates Wittgenstein's Theory of Experiential Epistomology

Tfw you shitpost so hard you accidentally write a beautiful summary of the defining breakthrough of 20th century philosophy.

this is the only day you can reblog this

The catholic church has a secret menu just ask for the body of Christ monkey style and they’ll give you a wafer with peanut butter on it

ALL OF YOU IN THE NOTES SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP, OR I WILL CLAP MY HANDS AGAINST YOUR HEAD AND TURN YOUR BRAINS INTO A BLOODY MIST.

I CAN’T CHECK MY FUCKING NOTES WITHOUT SEEING PARAGRAPHS AND ESSAYS OF TEXT CONTAINING ARGUMENTS AND NUTRITION FACTS FOR COMMUNION WAFERS.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU’RE ARGUING ABOUT. TAKE A STEP BACK AND READ MY POST AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL YOU REALIZE WHAT A WRETCHED FOOL YOU’VE BECOME.

THIS WORLD IS BURNING, THE SEVEN SEALS ARE OPENING UP, THE UNIVERSAL DARKNESS IS SWALLOWING US WHOLE, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DEVOTE PART OF YOUR PRECIOUS, MINISCULE LIFE TOWARDS?

NOTHING IS SACRED. GOD HAS LEFT US AGES AGO AND NOW ALL WE HAVE IS EACH OTHER. SO LOVE. SHUT UP, JOIN HANDS, AND CHERISH. YOU ARE THE BEAST YOU WORSHIP.

what are your guys’ signs and your least favorite sign?

i’m a capricorn and my least favorites are taurus bc they don’t like to listen

Thanks!

The face of a true hero

full of bugs

WAIT just how often does this happen that we barely noticed?! Are opossums the cleaner wrasses of the forest?! And are ticks probably way worse now just thanks to decades of humans hating opossums for no reason???

I had no idea that animals would seek out possums for a tick cleaning, like how crocodiles sit with their mouths open for small birds to clean their teeth. That is so cool.

One of my least favorite mental illness things is "hungry but dont feel like eating" and its companions "hungry but all the food in the house is Illegal," "hungry but can't make anything," and "hungry, want to eat, but why bother"

ok u know how ghibli movies make eggs look SO fucking delicious… meet the opposite end of the egg spectrum… and yes this is from a british movie 

Thera the deaf ferret gets a surprise!

That is his battle helmet

king

this guy knows what he’s about

Meeting a celebrity

An eye-opening perspective (Source)

One of many reasons why I will never, ever have children.

This pisses me off so fucking much. I wish these people realized their kids can tell how much their parents don’t want them around, but they don’t, and they’re going to wonder why the kids don’t want to spend time with them later in life.

Yes, there are times I need someone else to watch my kid. Yes, I enjoy getting an occasional break. But good God, to act like someone *else* needs to come in and take responsibility for the child *you* decided to have, like it’s unfair that you should always have to do it yourself? Bullshit. That’s parenthood, and you signed up for it.

^ this comment is so important. kids understand a LOT more than people think they do. they absolutely can tell, even if they can’t point it out, when mommy or daddy doesn’t want to be with them, or when they’re tired of them.

If you aren’t 100% PUMPED at the idea of being with a kid 24/7, do not under any circumstances have one!!! I wasn’t an easy kid, I needed to be held to go to sleep every night till I was in my teens and my parents tried only a couple of times to get me to go to sleep without being held. But I never slept right, I either wouldn’t fall asleep or I’d have terrible nightmares, and I told them so. Then they just shrugged and kept me company till I felt safe sleeping alone, because they cared about me feeling safe and happy more than they needed alone-time. That shouldn’t be so far outside the norm for parents.

 When we went back to school every time they would say how weird it was how many parents just wanted their kids “out of their hair” again and made jokes about finally getting their lives back. They’d say it made them upset when people expected them to say the same, because they really liked their kids, and sending us back to school always made them sad. They didn’t like being away from us that much, they missed us. More kids should grow up feeling that wanted.